Lit, I feel like I've had my humanity taken from me by the American school systems. I used to be a happy person...

yep, a mentally inferior cry baby who never stood a chance.

>I don't like the feeling of doing something because of the hallow notion of "have to"
Then shut up.
You're crying because you're stagnant. Do something or shut up.
And stop being so pretentious.
also you can't spell for shit.

Ignorant bitch

Then don't.

Stop making excuses for yourself.

This shit is extremely simple.

Ignorant of what exactly?

I honestly don't feel like doing anything. Everything feels so pointless, I don't like the feeling of doing anything except listening to music really, and I have been rediscovering the joys of playing video games lately, and I've been trying to get into reading and have about 30 new books that I've purchased in the past few months that I'm getting through. The reading thing is hard enough, but I sure as hell don't feel like going and doing other stuff. I can't stand doing things, for the past 4 years, and probably since before I graduated high school, I've just felt dead inside. I used to not really even have the energy to play a video game because it felt so fucking pointless.

>blames problems on having to go to school
Mmm, teen angst. I can't say I miss that, but don't worry, it doesn't last forever.
Stop taking yourself so seriously, you're being melodramatic. Get over yourself.

You sound like the kind of person who bitches and moans about being in school, so you won't go to college or trade school, then will end up working the first fast food job you get for the next 20 years because you lack motivation to do anything else because of this manufactured sense of oppression regarding school, whilst turning a blind eye to the fact that you're closest to actual oppression while working 50-60 hours a week at a Burger King or some shit just to get by. I've seen it happen to a few of my edgy faggot friends from high school.

This is embarrassing to read. Either get over yourself and find something to dedicate yourself to or, if you really cannot feel any pleasure from anything, go to a doctor and get on antidepressives. Stop pretending you don't have a choice. Your whining is absolutely pathetic.

the difference between hallow and hollow

among other things

And what the fuck is pretentious? So it's wrong that you perceive someone to be making themselves out to be something worth while? Yeah just make sure everyone gets put into their fucking place, right? I shouldn't expect anything else from psychopathic troll minds. That's all you people really care about, some of you, is just a good laugh at the expense of others. People like that are disgusting, but there's really nothing I can do about it. I guess that's why forums like this are so popular. Because you know in real life you'd never say that shit to someone, because I'm 6'2 and live on a high protein diet and would probably beat the fuck out of you. Man I just wish sometimes that could, you know, beat someone so senseless that they just spew a ton of blood and disfigure their stupid worthless face.

Am I being rused? This is way too pathetic to be true.

Sounds like you're really missing your childhood.
My suggestion, express your concerns with your parents, family or anyone close to you, and seek help. Try to live again what made your childhood so good.
I'm not a psychologist or anything, but it seems logical to me.

probably just developed depression. check out a cbt therapist

...

Maybe you should try getting a job.

Not OP but that only made things worse for me, all the "normal" jobs just seem pointless to me, academia is becoming a joke due to the extreme influence of liberalism and gender theory or there is the other end of utilitarian STEM faggotry to conform to capitalism and make more useless money.

Now I just have a comfy office job where I can think all day long about whatever I want but I still fucking hate mostly everything.

>academia is becoming a joke due to the extreme influence of liberalism and gender theory

Stop letting /pol/ brainwash you. The vast majority of academic departments in the humanities are not significantly influenced by "gender theory." Obviously, you'll be surrounded by liberals (because that's what universities are full of). But academia isn't some kind of hippie pinko cabal.

I hate anti liberals so much.

I am a liberal or maybe I was when the theory behind the label was still sensible but the current definition basically means morons.

This. Most of the posts about it on here are fake, or from the same two or three people who went to schools without doing any research on their departments.
I went to a small, private, liberal arts college and didn't have to deal with that shit. There were some students interested, and the profs weren't going to prevent them from writing on it, but I never took a class where it was the predominant critical lens. I'd say the predominant approach was to emphasize historical context, and pushing us to not apply modern sensibilities to centuries old texts.

dude im in a fucking community college and all my english professors have been leftists. the kind that asign some hogwash written by godknowswho african writers. they knows its shit they just assign it cuz fuck straight white males yeah?

overall you dont know what you're talking about. not everybody is interested/can afford going to a private liberal arts college and the lefties are all over public colleges. /pol may take things a tad out of proportion but overall when it comes to colleges they're spot on.

>here's my one (1) experience
>it must be representative of all experiences!
>you don't know what you're talking about
Also
>not everybody is interested
Then why bitch and moan about academia if you don't intend to take it seriously?
>or can afford
Maybe if you didn't fuck around in high school. I got enough scholarships that I paid much less than I would have going to state school.
And finally
>going to a bottom-of-the-barrel community college and expecting anything more than bottom-of-the-barrel teaching
shiggy

>blew threw
Go back to school you retarded piece of shit

Come home, working man.

That is, hands down, one of the most pathetic things I've ever read on a forum, solely due to how much of a gigantic fucking baby you're being. Grow some social skills and deal with the fact that you have to do shit you don't want to that everyone else is doing to be a independent, productive member of society, including going to public school.

Your problem was never "school" and it "taking away your individuality". Your problem is that you're just immature and are terrible at connecting with other human beings but instead of seeing the plainly obvious issues you need to resolve in your meandering, masturbatory existence, you invent some pretentious bullshit reason for why you're too pathetic to go the fuck outside of your junkfood littered bedroom and motivate yourself to actually live a day of the life that sounds like it has few objective, concrete obstacles.

Let me tell you a little about myself: I've flunked out of every college course I've taken in my life, and am about 10000 dollars in debt. At my lowest point I lived as a NEET in my mothers house, my savings were drying up and bills kept piling on. My mother can barely make ends meet for herself and my sisters, let alone feed a grown ass manchild on top of that (due to some poor decisions of her own however)

My life consisted of staying up til 5 playing minecraft or other shit games and browsing Veeky Forums. And then sleeping for 12 hours and doing the same again.

At one point I got an ultimatum, get a job or leave the house. So after getting fucked over a few times I managed to get a job in a warehouse through a Temp Agency. Work I always thought far beneath me but I stuck with it. Due to luck and hard work they gave me a contract, then another one and another one. At some point I got a more permanent position there and last month I got promoted to foreman.

In one and a half years I've moved out into a large house, saved enough money to pay off most of my student debts. On top of that I'm finally starting to get into literature again, I've got plenty of traveling plans and have been going on city trips for a while now. I get out of the house at least 4 days of the week, and I've made new friends doing that. The money and motivation I gained in the last year and a half have improved my life significantly. I do realise that some would still regard me as a dumb useless ape though, but fuck em.

All because I got a shitty warehouse job that I had and still have to work hard at. You've got an office job that pays more than me and plenty of time to do whatever the fuck you want. What's stopping you from living your life and being happy?

This goes for OP as wel. Get a fucking job and stop moping. It'll do you good.

It's amazing how much my life changed once I landed a job. I've only worked for a year and a half now but I've put having money to good use and it not only gave me access to many new experiences but it raised my ambitions tremendously. I wouldn't be a bloody man if I couldn't do the things I became capable f doing just by landing some piece of shit grocery store job pushing carts for $8/hr and working my way up to being a web developer.

Homeschooled patrician here. You're right, the school system only exists as an instrument of social control and standardization. This was done purposely to deprive you of your humanity and history, and make you an easily replaceable/governable citizen.

There is no statistical proof that formal education in its current state does anything but handicap people, then send them out into the job market pre processed for menial labor.

Drop out. Smoke weed, play piano, read, educate yourself, train your body and your mind. The fact you still feel dead means they haven't killed you yet.

lmao I just realized that I typed that instead of through. I don't think I've ever made that mistake before in my life. That happens to me sometimes, and sometimes I'll forget a word or just use a different word that seemingly comes out of nowhere by mistake. It's just an error dude, relax. Thanks for making me laugh at your over reaction though.

>smoke weed

damn my FELLOW self educated patrician you are totally right, and not inputting your personal weed addled brain bias in your thoughts at all.

Is this that shitposting retard with the cabin in Norway only now it's something else he's lying about?

I speak 3 languages, working on my fourth, and I smoke weed every day.

Whats your excuse?

My excuse is all my language books got lost in the mail.

>needing books to learn a language

Pussy

Better than needing weed. The day they get here i'll surpass you in a matter of months.

Yeah, it would have been wise if you had simply stopped attending high school. They would have probably sicced the cops on you, but eventually they might have given up. But it's over now, so why dwell on it? As far as hating people, that's not a path you want to go down. It's all too easy for writers to adopt that pose, and it inevitably ruins them as people. Maybe you could just try lightening up a bit. Who gives a shit what people say to you. So they snicker when you walk through a crowd, so what? People are just animals, right? Their aggressiveness is nothing, and they just don't matter. The competitiveness of fashion is something they fuck with you over? Fuck 'em, who cares about that shit? Do you enjoy writing, or are just yearning to be recognized as brilliant and troubled and misunderstood, or whatever bullshit daydreams writer poseurs fantasize about? Writers are no different than window washers or shoeshine boys - it's a fucking job like any other. People seem to think that a good writer is defined by his eccentric habits, unusual tastes and living arrangements, etc. etc. etc. But that's bullshit posturing. It means nothing. Try putting together a story and publishing under a pseudonym. Seek anonymity, not fame. Just approach the craft as a regular job, and not as some kind of pretentious, somehow important and noble endeavor. It's not. Just be a storyteller and avoid all the bullshit - you'll be happier for it.

> music
> vidya
> reading news articles
> posts on Veeky Forums

>boohoo society isn't cut out perfectly for my patrician mind

There are children in the world today who know nothing but starvation, sex slavery, and the horrors of war. Yet here you are, bitching and moaning like an entitled child. You're nothing but a coward who finds flaws in everything but himself. KYS and the world wouldn't lose a thing

I don't care about fame, I just want to be happy. I want the feelings of insecurity and loneliness and intrusive thoughts surrounding my dreadful experience on this dying planet to just evaporate.

And your post isn't that bad, but look at all the people in this thread. Human beings are horrible to each other. I have good parents, I was just at a benefit concert for rape victims that my mom was performing in, it was great, it made me feel like there's some great people in the world. But where's my joy? I feel jealous of the fucking rape victims, because they get someone to sit down and listen to them, like a friend. I don't have a rape story or a sob story that I want to tell someone else, but I just wish I had someone who was willing to be there for me. I just wish that I had someone who I felt comfortable with in this world.

What would any of you really know about me before you've spent a day in my shoes? For whatever contradiction and fallacy that I say, it's part of what makes me me. You people have no respect for human life, I wish that I was around people who respected human life and surrounded myself with people who respected me. Let me make one thing clear, not to the person I'm responding to but to the people in this thread, I don't respect you and I think you all come from a place of hate and disgust and prejudice. Prejudice against me and prejudice against things which you don't understand, because you're too short sighted to see any further than the preconceived notions you have in your heads.

>because I'm 6'2 and live on a high protein diet
You haven't claimed to do excercise of any form. Do you?

Respect is earned, not given.

People seem to have forgotten about this.

You seem very self centered to the point of narcissism by the way.

Also talk your problems through with your parents and then find a job you leech.

I find this all to be one very big paradox. You call me a leech on my parents, but that I would have had to decide to be born preemptively, then make that decision to be culpable in being a leech on my parents. I didn't ask to be born, I was born and I simply don't feel that I fit into the world that we live in. This is one of the problems I see with the world that we live in, is that the paradox of consciousness; which is thinking that an awareness of our own existence gives us free will, and not simply being the reaction of the laws of nature which govern the universe; gives us the impression that we're bound by some sort of duty, that we do have free will, which is patently false.

It wasn't taken from you, user. You have buried it under the delusions you chose to aqcuire in order to be uniform.

Just let go of them. Don't pile on with new philosophy, which will always be fundamentally false.

Get a therapist get on medication son

fuck medication.I'm not drugging myself into a meek, submissive subservient.

That isn't how antidepressant medication works, you moron.
The only people who actually believe this, derive it from pop-culture references, which date back to Lovecrafts Arkham Sanitarium. Which, of course, is based on Denver State Hospital. Pretty much every psychiatry horror meme can be traced back to that clusterfuck of a state institution.

Necrobump that is easily refutable with a similar writing style masked by a different formatting of lines
Refutal by op half an hour later

Samefag

>I've got plenty of traveling plans and have been going on city trips for a while now. I get out of the house at least 4 days of the week, and I've made new friends doing that.

You see those are things I don't give a shit about, I don't care about "new experiences", my retarded colleagues or whatever, the only reason I have a job is because I do have to somehow make ends meet without relying on my family.
My only passion is knowledge however unless you had the perfect start with the perfect connections you can't live exclusively from that.

>I don't wanna job
>I don't wanna go to school
>I don't wanna see a therapist
>I don't wanna take meds
>I don't wanna be self-sufficient
if you want to feel real happiness you're going to have to make it happen. Jealous of rape victims because you want attention? I guess that explains this thread. You sound like a weak person who justifies escapism with self-righteous ideology formed specifically to keep you inactive, complacent, safe, and unchallenged. You're not oppressed, school is supposed to be difficult, earning money is almost never fun, but you have to sacrifice something to grow, and you should start with that teenage angst. All of your "problems" are self-inflicted.

In the effort of keeping this pathetic thread at least somewhat lit related, read Stoner. it's about a man with real problems.

Experience will always trump knowledge by a landslide. That's just how humans are by nature. Even you, snowflake.

This

>falling for the materialist memes

is that what you're going to tell your prospective employer during the interview when he asks you what experience you have?

I already have a comfy job which lets me think about my writing all the time and provides enough money for my humble needs, I don't care about getting more money or a better career anyway.

oh, thats good. I thought you were a teenager pretending to understand fields of work where experience is the most important thing.
I hope to be where you are in the next two years. The job part, anyway.

>materialist
>meme
I don't think you know what either of those words mean.

Also a mind honed by experience will always be more true than a mind built on (unchallenged) concepts.
You are not only rejecting society, you are rejecting yourself. If anything, you are the one who fell for the meme of being a homunculus operating an empty shell.

You are human. By refusing to explore what that means, you are already discrediting the foundation of anything you could ever wish to "know".

>even nehilists think you're being a whiny bitch

It really just sounds like you need to step out of your own head and get a glimpse of how much of the world you don't know.

Obviously for:
Also *nihilists

God, honestly I feel like I've already argued all that I could say without re-evaluating everything I say, looking for if I was inconsistent, then going over what you say and contrasting it against what I say and the pros and cons of each stance. I honestly just don't have the determination right now to write something like that, I don't even feel like the people in this thread have been fair enough to conduce that sort of productive thought out of my head, you're literally no better. If this were a productive conversation though, I probably already would have the energy to keep going.

Lets see though, this reminds me of the conversation that I was having with my dad last night. He was talking to me about how I am just disagreeing with him on everything he says and I'll only be satisfied with what he says when he agrees with what I said. I think it's stupid, because it precludes that I didn't come to the point of view I came to on my own, and that I'm just a narrow minded, unchanging rigid minded person, who's incapable of seeing the rational and wiser ways that the person I'm arguing with, who probably doesn't even want to argue but just wants me to see what they have to say in the first place.

Well, he's what I am looking for. I am looking for some knowledge that will set me free, a piece of knowledge that makes me feel wonder for the world, makes me feel relaxed, because I know that philosophy ultimately isn't supposed to make you feel relaxed, I actually have been feeling very unsettled this whole morning, I'm not sure if you've felt unsettled reading what I'm saying, you must be feeling something, but I don't even know why I'm thinking about what you must be feeling at this moment anyways. Feelings should be irrelevant when discussing philosophical issues, because feelings aren't rational. Yet I see the people in this thread using their feelings, or their manipulative words planned to manipulate my feelings so they can shape me into whatever consciousness they want me to have, for better or for worse.

Isn't that sad? I think of the society we live in as very negative, I don't even know where to begin, but ultimately I think that I feel rejection. I feel that I am rejected by this society, but ultimately the universe is very uncaring and society as an organism works like a bigger organism. In that it rejects the parts of itself that aren't obeying with the group, society and human beings themselves are much like a large organism. Our society as a whole, look at how we've built on the top of the earth's surface, it's like a bee hive. We destroy it, we turn on our own kind, societal acceptance is conditional.

That's just the way of the world. It's all part of the disease of consciousness, the paradox that arises from the illusion of free will. We think that we have some say in it, but really we're all running on a large cosmic clockwork.

>I am looking for some knowledge that will set me free
------------------------------------just be yourself

---------------------------Faggot----------------------------------------------------------------------------

nice try. I'm not falling for that meme.

>nothing is worth doing
>except posting marathon monologues about my feelings on a Cambodian basket weaving website under the pretense of social commentary

It's not that hard to write that. I just keep writing until I've followed my thoughts all the way to the end of what I have in my head, or until I run out of space to text, like I just did right there. I was about to go into how I actually think that there's a lot of beauty in the world. The one simple example of something I find beautiful in the world, is that I am right here speaking these words. It's incredible to me, that even though there's no free will, that the laws of nature are so precise and fine, that it exists inside of it things which are capable of producing thoughts and sentences. Just imagine this, a mistake of matter and biology, but able to speak for itself. There's something marvelous about that, it almost gives the universe a sense of crystal splendor. Beautiful, transparent, symmetrical.

Can you post a topless picture? I want to confirm my belief you are an obese neckbeard

I'm sorry you're so upset. I had a lot of similar thoughts when I was in highschool. Really, most people's lives are riddled with paradoxes which they aren't capable of challenging, and it's hard to find your way through all of the bullshit people believe. It doesn't change when you grow up, but, for me, it became less frustrating.

I don't really have an answer for it. When I was in highschool, I read a lot. Eventually I found a meme philosophy (Objectivism) and thought that it was the answer to every problem, but that turned out to be the wrong direction. Really, the "knowledge which set me free" came through art and experiences moreso than philosophy. You just have to keep living for a while. Go to college. Leave your hometown. Just don't get frustrated by all of the people around you who believe nonsense and can't even argue for why they believe it.

I'm 168 pounds, 6'2, hell no I'm not exposing my identity to this board. I'm also a pescitarian, I'm a vegetarian besides eating a lot of salmon. I'm very healthy. I have an athlete's heart rate and I don't even work out.

I'm 4 years out of high school, just fyi.

and yeah, I agree with you on that last part. there's so many people who can't even argue why they say the things they say.

>168 pounds, 6'2

Wow, colossal misread on my part. I guess it doesn't meld with my expectations for someone to still be blaming high school four years out. I don't really have an answer for you, if you're still feeling these things and having these problems. To come to any sort of helpful conclusion would take a long conversation, I'm sure, and Veeky Forums isn't really the place for it. Decry therapy all you want, but if you don't have a close friend to bounce your ideas off of, it can be a good answer (drugs not necessary).

>It's not fucking fare
Shitpost detected.

???
what's that supposed to mean? that guy is over weight.

I've never done drugs, although I have a shot of whisky with lunch every day. I see a psychologist 2 times a week, and have been for over a year.

this is a great thread. some quality shitposting. +1 for your commitment to the persona, OP. upboats all around.

stop mocking me. my life is not a shit post.

Find something you enjoy and dedicate yourself to it.

t. ex-NEET of 4 years that now studies 15 hours a day and has an actual life plan

Have you told your psychologist about the way you feel? What do they say about it? If you've been going twice a week for a year with no results, maybe try finding a new psychologist.

I've had 4 psychologists. I don't to go find a new one. She thinks it's great I'm so interested in art and reading.

But do you tell her about feeling stripped of individuality, with nothing left but the desire to destroy? What does she say about that?

What do you do all day, OP? You have a job? Hobbies?

well, ever since I gave up on college, I haven't really done anything all day but sit around at home, listening to music, posting on the internet, I recently got really interested in reading. I also play video games a little bit, I learned the piano and have been trying to learn how to play some instruments, I own like 5 instruments and I have aspirations to write my own music, I think it would be good seeing as how I have an extraordinarily vast knowledge of music, so I would have a lot of reference for what styles I could make my music of. It's really difficult to try to make your own music all by yourself, I have the software and I've tried but as of right now I've sort of just been doing nothing and not really feeling interested in anything. The only book I really feel like reading at the moment is Junky by William s burroughs, and the journal of albion moonlight.

You are a skinny faggot. Start lifting weights

How is this thread still up

I actually prefer being a qt twink, so please stop bullying me.

Answer my other questions, bro. If you go to therapy and then don't talk about your problems, of course you're not gonna see any results.

I'm a musician, though I've been playing since I was a little kid. If you wanna write songs it's like anything else, you have to churn out a bunch of crap before you even understand the craft. I'd just pick something and do it, don't even concern yourself with whether it will be interesting or worth doing or not. See something through to completion, and then as soon as you're done start something else.

Why'd you give up on college? You regret it? Also, you didn't mention having a job, so I assume you live with your parents, yeah? How do they feel about you, how do you feel about them?

youtube.com/watch?v=RgNfTx9pGzA

There you go

welllllllll, I ended up asking them if they could get me an apartment, and I basically just live in this apartment now because I couldn't stand living with them. Do I regret leaving college? Well, college was so bad I could barely stand to be in there, let alone sit around in the classroom listening to dry lectures for like an hour or an hour and a half. So, do I regret not living on campus so I can fuck cute guys? Yeah, I do regret that, because the way I see it I could have probably had a good opportunity to have sex if I lived on campus. Am I sorry I missed out on doing the work? Well, I hate doing work and I feel so tired and bored with it I can barely stand to sit in the classes in the first place. So, yeah I suppose if I have any regrets, it's regrets about my own life, or should I say, resent. Except that takes me nowhere good lol. Maybe I could say I resent not having the motivation and drive to do anything in life, but honestly I just don't know what to do. Everything sounds boring, I just don't really like doing anything, I don't like the sound of any of the jobs that have ever been presented to me. I despise the people who I have to work with, it always seems like the people I'm around are fucking brain dead and they never seem to give a fuck about you in the first place. The worlds fucked man, lol.

dude the smiths is one of my favorite fucking bands of all time. did you know that qt morrissey was a neet who just stayed at home reading before he formed the smiths? god he's a legend, he's so fucking great. he actually said he was unemployable, or maybe someone else said that about him, when he was in the time before he started the band, and he was also really depressed. you can hear his cynicism in his music, it has such an incredible sarcastic tone throughout all of his music, but also a sort of comfy melancholy beauty, he sounds like someone who really understands and in an abstract sort of way, the sound of his music in the emotions the notes themselves evoke seem to understand. He was so fucking qt too, legendary 10/10 hotty. The smiths fucking rules.

I didn't think it was possible to hate you more than I do.
This isn't your blog. Fuck off

your hate fuels my amusement

Do you give a fuck about your co-workers? You think of them as braindead, you say you despise them (believe me, they can tell). Why do you expect them to think anything nice about you?

Is there anyone in the world you can stand?

boo hoo

saged