Guys i think i am in a depression i don't even know why am i writing this on an online image board but i'll take the...

Guys i think i am in a depression i don't even know why am i writing this on an online image board but i'll take the chance, you know different people, different view points, maybe someone can show me da wey through this shit.

I've always been that guy that keeps shit to himself, i rarely talk about my feelings, yet tonight i am feeling like all that shit i've held to myself is catching back to me.

First of all sorry for the spelling errors. I am from Bulgaria (Europe). I was the type of student that never studied yet i ace'd my grades. I was bullied as a child for being fat, flipped my shit and got fit through 16 to 21 (now). Graduated high-school with B score, yet i didn't get any lessons from it except now fluently speaking english and french.

Now moving to college law bachelor. Third year - average results and grades, two more to go. These years thought me nothing of true value. I worked through these years as well as a law enforcer. I was let off few months back. Down to my last 1000$ got them in crypto and made 10k$ . I got into cocaine and depression hit me hard. I got like 5k $ left now.

The thing is i feel empty from the inside. My mother has a landscaping company with ~12 full time employees, she knows her shit. My father has around 1000 acres of land and is a farmer (really hard work), he's a scum.

The last month was really hard, i wake-up, go to the gym, come back home, shower and go out with friends, come back at 12 a.m play vidiya and go to bed, and this is like everyday while blasting coke with my crypto gains.

I feel like i have no point in life, like i am living blind, every day the same shit happening again and again, no development whatsoever. Is this what depression is ? I feel like killing myself because of this retarded way of life. What do? Has anyone been through this? Btw i have my own home and i live alone so it would be easier lol.

stop doing coke u dumb shit

Just fucking focus on making money.

Does Bulgaria have psychiatrists?

Get involved in real life. We're gonna win this time.

I feel the same user, when life is so easy like it is now it seems to lose all meaning, without a struggle, there is nothing to conquer. I wish I could have been one of the founding fathers or a pioneer out west, a settler on the Mayflower etc.

I suggest you stop leading a hedonistic lifestyle of cocaine and partying and look for spiritual meaning in life, read the Bible and learn about Jesus, how God loves every one of us and can have a farthly relationship with you.
You need meaning user, find a nice wife, not at partys or doing cocaine, find a nice wife by looking who will make a good mother and model your self through your daily actions to be a good father in the future. Build your body, your financial stability and most importantly your morals. setting a goal like this will give your life meaning.

This isnt your blog faggot

why do you say your farther is scum?

When they broke up with my mom he never looked for me. He never wanted the contact i mean i see him like 2 times a year. He was never there when i needed him.

coke is fun for silvester go for other avtivities and meditate. take half a year on stop checking coinmarketcap. also meditate at the end we are all death.

Sounds like the coke problem may be the problem

that's a good story, i'll give you that. kudos, my friend.

user, shut down vidya for sometime. pursue a hobby, mostly an outdoorsy type. go cycling, running, hiking etc. focus on it. but remember, it has to be outdoor one. go out with friends but have strong will to say no to coke and shit. you are just 21, there is still a lot of time to be back.
you can always make money, but once you lose the path and are addicted to coke and like, it would be very very tough to come back. more you are on this path, harder would be your comeback.

He бъди пeдaл

Great post m8. Thank you very much i hope you get 100x on your investments

This. Get spiritual and all that shit. It will fill emptiness.

Stop doing coke. Stop playing vidya. Help your mom with business.

>The last month was really hard, i wake-up, go to the gym, come back home, shower and go out with friends, come back at 12 a.m play vidiya and go to bed, and this is like everyday while blasting coke with my crypto gains.
Set a goal at the gym, work towards that, make it achievable over a one month period, dedicate your self to it then feel pride in your results. Set another goal. Self improve is your goal now until you realise your true calling.

Stop party and coke, keep socialising, but not doing hedonistic degeneracy. This cycle of life will not only destroy any goals you set but will more importantly prevent you from setting goals in the first place. No wonder you don't see meaning in life when your involving your self in escapism all day.

>vidya, partying, cocaine
All this escapism is the reason you can't find reason, I'm not saying your not depressed, you might be, but change your self destructive life first and see if it makes you feel any better first.

stop doing coke
stop trading crypto - just buy and hold and forget about it

you have friends, that's pretty good, they'll give you better advice than you'll get here

user i do not want to put down your point. you have put up a good suggestion. just that if finding a wife becomes your goal, you will start meeting many ladies. now it is not bad to adjust according to partner but if it takes time then you might want to compromise on something that you shouldnt. so finding a wife shouldnt be your goal but a byproduct of your healthy and active lifestyle. meet new people and spend time with them and during the process if you find a nice woman, settle down.
t. my own life experience, not a chad in any aspect but very lucky that i found my wife

Would you like to turn out like your farther?

Last month i went to japan with my gf. I got really into shinto and buda. The spiritual way is set. Just the fact of being a good human being is enough for me, i never harmed anybody and shinto made it clear to me. The fitness goal is set i progress every month. Probably i should stop the coke. Thanks guys i really got out of it like right now it means the world to me

This faggot is living the dream yet he is still complaining. Born with a silver spoon in his ass.

No problem, just remember self improvement is not an easy path but there's no shame in failing as long as you learn from it get back on the path. I myself am trying to stop watching porn and reading erotic stories. It's difficult, and its a difficult urge to fight, but I am stronger than to give up and the Lord is so great he can forgive any sin and, like the prodigal son, will welcome you back with open arms when you are ready!

Feeling bad and depressed and be a good sign, its to prompt you change, to strive and to SUCCEED. Feeling depressed without reason is depression and then you need help, but often sorting your life out can help your mood. Good luck user, you can do it!

No, never. He is the last person i would want to resemble

(((depression)))

>I got really into shinto and buda.

>stop doing coke
>stop doing coke
>stop doing coke

Seriously, I have no idea how people are on that shit all the time, I almost killed myself a couple of times on 2 grams of coke a night.

Use that as the guidance in your life then, build your self into the perfect father figure you wished you had. We all believe in you user!

>Probably i should stop the coke.
>Probably
not probably user, you have to.
>coke
> life
choose one

You just have to stop doing coke. Take up mountaineering

it doesn't matter if you kill yourself or not.

>i don't even know why am i writing this on an online image board

It’s because you get paid to shitpost here you faggot shill

Coke is the worst goddamn shit. Hardly even makes me feel good, even if I take a few big fat lines after not touching the stuff for a month I barely get high - and according to my friends it’s high quality. All it does is make me jittery and energized for like 20 minutes and then I want MORE and have no fun unless I get it. Then I can’t sleep after. Fucking miserable powder. Fuck coke.

You need Jesus mate. The Bible in the book of Ecclesiastes says life is meaningless.

Life is full of pain. Why even be born into this world? You come to this world only to suffer. You labour all your life and the fruits of labour is squandered away by your children.

Life is meaningless. Which is why we need Jesus. He came two thousand odd years ago to share with us a good news. He will come back one day and create a new world. He will wipe away every tear. No one will ever die again. We Christians have hope not in this life but in the life to come. All you got to do is to believe that He died for your sins and Rose from the dead 3 days after.

Go join a local church. Most important of all, find Jesus. He can give the rest that sleep cannot give, the rest for our souls, and the peace that surpasses human understanding.

I pray you will come to Christ. God bless.

Christ is a meme. Everlasting life is a meme. Your life is a lie. Religion is lies. Gotta rip that bandaid off now, you’ll thank me later.

Fu fag when my dad left my mom she was working a minimum salary job supporting me and my little sister, you know nothing of being poor, we were living in a 30sqft app. Eating beans every night, i had no money for school, no clothes, nothing just her me and my baby sister

Thanks. Wrote it down
On point
U 2
Some of that Soner Kirkegor ?
No thx got my budda and zyzz

I don't get it? Isn't having 5k in Bulgaria making it?

Where did you grow up? Botswana?

that fedora is at such an angle, I have to ask user, is there some sticky tape keeping it falling off your head?

No that's in bratislava m8

Burgas

I never understood cuz blacks hate whites but are pretty religious and worship Jesus. But jesus is white, so I don't get it?

Like if my ancestors were brought to Africa by blacks and built up Africa even tho blacks are too stupid to enslave people to make a better society for them, but if they could and Africa was like America and blacks were supreme and running shot and I'm just this white guy living in a black continent worshipping a black god... I don't know my default racism would be like... why am I worshipping this black Zulu god that the natives worship

He's using dried jizz to hold it in place

yes, that image is litterally stoner kike gore

Applying race to an omnipotent being seems like the most petty thing you could possibly do. Regardless cognitive dissonance is the scariest and yet most powerful force in the human mind, so there's your explanation. Also not all blacks hate whites, what the fuck are you even going on about.

He said it in a pretentious way, but it's still true.

>Probably i should stop the coke.
You fucking think?

Feel you bro.. take a walk in the early morning everyday.. dont take your phone .. morning walks changed my life..let's me connect with nature before starting the day... Then focus on one big goal everyday.

This is good advice.

Fucking hippies

>look for spiritual meaning in life
>but only in the religion I follow, the others are trash

kill yourself

MOST blacks hate whites. If you don't know this then you are dumber than a nigger.

Why the fuck you think half the reason we hate Jews is?Divide and conquer... Media telling the niggers that the white man is evil.

The race war that's upcoming is designed by the Jews.

Go watch Alex jones interviewing David duke on YouTube.

OP if you are going to off yourself make sure you use one of those sweet arsenal AK-47's made in Bulgaria and go out in style . I have one being shipped to my FFL right now. Can't wait to get it.

You need to find God, user. You're gravitating towards nihilism. Without God, you'll either become depressed, or latch onto meaningless also empty pursuits to feel better about yourself, like saving the earth or the kinds of things Liberals do.

What's your iq?

If I lived in Europe I'd want to kill myself too. Not because I'm a bitch and depressed but because Muslims are are coming in hordes

>without god the only path is nihilism

Aw man they are dope for sure can confirm. Anyway thanks for the replies guys it really ment to me giving off your time to talk to me. Best board on4chan

I am off to bed. Have a productive day for me cuz i wasted one todat

Which post of mine are you referencing. By asking me what my IQ is means that you don't have a fucking response to what I said.

Also go look up that smart cripple Stephen Hawkings quote on IQ

Enlightened user, here. I don’t like identifying myself like that but it’s spicy enough to garner attention. Anyway, Bulgarian user..you need to ascertain the root of your despondency. Whenever you feel sad, angry, betrayed, etc., try to link those emotions to whichever event in your life that ignited those responses.

In the end, you need to psychoanalyze your own self and amalgamate your mind. Start by reading Jung. Read western and eastern philosophy. Find some good literature that you can relate to. And ultimately, learn to love yourself. If you cannot love yourself you will not be able to love the world around you since it is a part of you. Now loving yourself doesn’t mean saturating your ego with megalomaniac tier nonsense (like thinking you’re a god). It’s about letting go of your afflictions and neurotic impulses linked to subconscious memories.

user, even after enlightenment one still has to psychoanalyze. Life is an eternal journey of waxing and waning. Suffering and overcoming. Moving back and then moving forward. But regardless, your soul is inextricably linked to divinity/spirit and you are always loved. Although it sounds mawkish, it’s the truth.

Take care, user. I believe you can overcome. Now believe it yourself!

>So many newfags falling for this shit bait

Biz never not dissapoints

>Which post of mine are you referencing

The one I'm replying to obviously. There's no doubt in my mind that many blacks hate whites and vice versa but for you to say most do makes me thing you don't actually interact with people outside of echo chambers. Also you recommended an alex jones video. Alex Jones is considered a meme by pretty much everyone, even /pol/.

Good advice.

>shilling abrahamic bullshit

Yeah, nah, you're a fag user. Don't lead a lost soul further astray.

>show me da wey
I'm going to help you despite this ridiculous meme shit, so you're welcome user.

Copious amount of Ketamine and Mushrooms. you can figure out how much and what delivery systems work best for you. Feel better

This is all bullishit cuck shit. Reading philosophy. That's going to make him even more depressed.

i don't even understand why he's upset. Isn't Bulgaria like all white? HAvent they not let in Muslims? That's like heaven on earth.

>avoid pain by being ignorant!

That’s why he is afflicted in the first place.

If you can, spare more of your enlightment , i got into soren kierkegaard with a book called if/if . Would look up Jung any more recomm?

I mean, you recognise that finding God is bullshit right? Sure it serves a social purpose and it might help this user, but you do realize they are fables right?

Race is seriously the only thing that exists to you, christ. Philosophy can do a lot more for someone than make them depressed. If you think that thinking about the nature of life and reality can only bring sadness then you should probably just kill yourself.

I mean, I am of the belief that this purposeless life has more than enough to keep one entertained/happy, but Jesus you polfags can find the most bullshit reasons to be happy. Christ.

No muslims, no tax on crypto, but a lot of gypsies. Its a great place for a retirement

Honestly, it would be wrong for me to say there is a certain list of literature one needs to read to find peace. It’s much more complicated than that. But Kierkegaard is great to read. Read Jungs “Man and his symbols” and just read detailed summaries of his notions. He outlined a great deal of information taught by sages throughout human history. Joseph Campbell, M. Scott peck, and Nietzche provided useful information for me as well.

Race isn't the only thing that exists to me. I'm actually the nicest person in the world. I don't actually have a problem with other races. The reason I have problem with other races is because they are brainwashed into hating white people by the kikes.

Look around you dude. Our country is being invaded by 3rd world filth. And they hate whites. I wish it wasn't the reality but it is.

I'm going to go out having a fun time and ruffling feathers. Cuz these mongoloid Spicks coming here do not like whites. And these Muslim inbreds hate whites. I'm a nice guy and wish it wasn't that way but I'm going to stand my ground and raise hell.

...

I believe you are a nice guy, and for a while I felt equally vindictive. But it’s terrible for your body and mind. All you can do is prepare for the worst or escape before the fire rises. Minorities are being manipulated to hate whites in the west. It’s going to get worse but you can aid changing suc( perspective by showing your kindness. I changed a lot of minds when I worked in the city. They’re just ignorant. I still get mad sometimes, but save your bite for when you need to.

Help change their perspectives*

>took huge profit end of december
>cashed out
>been partying since january (get high everyday playing videogames)
>already buying back into super cheap alts
>trippled my position in different coins
>comfy awaiting the upcoming bullrun

Why the fuck would you want to be alive for eternity? What the fuck would be the point of anything? Eternal paradise sound absolutely miserable to me. Why do you think celebrities always end up being alcoholics or drug addicts? Because they have it so easy and are bored as shit which makes life miserable. I honestly think reincarnation would be the best possible outcome for an "afterlife" because you'd get another life with all the struggles and new people that come with it. Then when you get "bored" you die and get another life and to start all over again.

just read 12 rule for life and stop being a pussy

Sounds like you need to find God too.

You're underestimating omnipotence. God (if he was real) would be able to make heaven a place where misery literally isn't an option from any angle, not even from the "well if everything's perfect Ill just be bored and miserable" approach.

Do more blow. Use the motivation to actively trade more, build your wealth back up. Your parents sound fairly well off - find ways to get money out if them, get more shitcoins, and take profits periodically to do even MORE blow.

Rinse and repeat.

And this is Veeky Forums not /r9k/. Pic related. Get rich, no more problem.

Christianity is far more philosophically based desu. The premise of the Bible being truth and Jesus being God is a pretty tough pill but the actual spirituality and worldviews of Catholic philosophy is super consistent, logical, and helpful for every day life.

Buddhism also teaches philosophy that is consistent, logical, and helpful for every day life. I don't really have a problem with people being devout christians because they like the lifestyle or the philosophies, but when you shit on other perfectly viable religions that's when I start to take issue.

Islam is cancer though.

Look into Islam

Of all the advice given in this thread this is by far the worst.

First you have to go live in an actually decent country

>i fried my dopamine receptors, wtf is wrong with me

Finally, an user after my own heart.

Orthodox here. Don't confuse these burger puritan heresies with actual Christianity. Most people I know are fairly friendly towards Buddhism, seeing it as closer in nature to a spiritual philosophy like Platonism that got superstitioned up a bit much on occasion. Like any human philosophy it has its flaws, but it's positives are undeniable (re all the meditation research it sparked) But then us Orthodox still have monasteries, meditation disciplines, ritual symbolism to direct conciousness and all that good stuff Buddhism has (and more!), so we don't find it quite as exotic maybe.

Has
>gf
>friends
>money
>rich parents
>crypto

And still complains while doing coke. You're one of those people who have to lose it all to finally start appreciating things

You lack purpose, that's why you're depressed. You have friends, you have family, you have a community, I suggest being content with that. Find a job that entails physical work so you can at least see the fruits of your labors. Office work is abstract and intangible. You're not gonna see the results in real life what you typed in a spreadsheet. See those roads, houses and bridges? There's a reason laborers and engineers feel more accomplished and happy and it's because they can see what they've done. Same with farmers. Nothing beats seeing the produce you've farmed and enjoying the harvests when the time comes to pluck them out. Find purpose and you will find happiness.

Buddhism is literally just the folk version of Nihilism. Nihilism stands up to basic logic but nihilism as a system of ethics or morality is a major logical paradox. Basically relativism.

Contemporary Buddhists pretty much just decided that the paradoxes are used as rhetoric. "The truth is there is no truth to be found" is said to cut off your unquenchable desire for an ultimate truth. But it is also taught that the root of human suffering is ignorance.

Because of this fundamental "desire to stop desiring" Buddhism has devolved into anti-intellectual shit positing. Instead of transcending suffering by avoiding all desires teachings now encourage avoiding all suffering by diluting yourself to not be effected by suffering. A completely different goal.

Living as a Buddhist monk is essentially avoiding suffering by changing reality not achieving a state of no desire. Everyone wears the same clothes so I will never feel bad for not having nice clothes. Nobody has a wife so I will never feel bad for not having a wife. Nobody eats steak so I will never feel bad for not having a steak.

Seems comfy but fake.

Pic related: it's based existentialism and doesn't encourage "redpilling" yourself with paradoxes

Meditation is ultra based and should be practiced no matter what religion you are.

As a Catholic I hope in the future the politics of history are put aside. There is lots of good shit that is popularized in orthodoxy but underused in mainstream Catholicism. In America young catholics main inspiration comes from non-denominational movements and it's quite disheartening.

...and the women... oh god, the women...

the most retarded things tend to work OP.

get a small ''dot'' tattoo on your arm and look at it every morning to remember you are not a fucking degenrate and to get your life together. I know it sounds retarded, but trust me, if you are going to get this small almost invisible tattoo, you are going to wake up everyday remembering why u got it and it will help you somewhere subconsciously, since you'll remember why u got it in the first place.

Been feeling the same way. It's really only cause I'm on the computer majority of the day. I uninstalled all vidya, stopped watching porn completely and am only going to use the internet when I need to do school work or if I want to research something interesting that pops up in my head. No more watching boogie2988 just to roast him in my head for fun.

Get off the computer anons, I know there are some of you out there like me that are reading this.