Lit I can't fucking stand it. I just look in the mirror and I get uglier and uglier the sadder I get...

How would you do that?

I'm listening to schubert's piano pieces. I would go for a walk but I don't want to be outside feeline alone.

Seconded.

>This counts as writing and literature, right?

no, fuck off, get a blog

I have one, but there's nothing valuable in lonely depressive writing like this. I exhausted all the possibility of making good writing like that years ago, because it's not an original concept to my canon of work at this point.

just b yourself

I used to get really depressed a lot and the thing I could never believe was that things would get better, and they never did get better in the ways I wanted but then it was because I wanted those things that I was depressed. I'm not saying I wanted closeness and now I live without it or any wierd rk9 mgtwo shit, but I did grow up and start to think about life in a different way, and now I'm sort of pretty happy, and I have the things in my life that i craved when I was depressed just not in the way I thought I needed them. The best quote I've heard re this topic is "depression is an inability to imagine the future" which I think is true. Hang in there and make tough decisions about what to do with yourself and you can make your life better, I would have NEVER beleived that at many points. And you other guys should be ashamed of your selves, we don't know if this is fake or whatever but at the end of the day this person is very possibly in pain and deserves our sympathy, you absolutely do.

this is quite dank:
youtube.com/watch?v=NdqBfMb3pX0

seconded

Thank you very much. What you really said resonates with me, I like the part about how when you want something it makes you depressed, I think that that's very true. It's also nice to hear kind caring words on a place like this, it's refreshing.

I'm listening to prokofiev piano concertos right now, they're lovely.

Why do you care so much about being in a relationship? You don't pretty insecure, being in a relationship won't cure that, you'll feel constantly anxious out of fear of getting dumped, cheated on, etc. Stop looking for happiness in other places than in yourself.

>but I did grow up and start to think about life in a different way
This. It's gotten easier for me to move on and make do with what I can, like working on different crafts instead of moping about 24/7 and inspiring more negative thinking.

It's been less than a year and I'm already doing most of what I've always wanted to do that did not necessarily involve the input of other people. You have to pull yourself out of the rut. Heavy emphasis on "you."

You sound*

>ignoring a problem is a good way to solve it

>I just look in the mirror and I get uglier and uglier the sadder I get. Sometimes I look at my face glow when I'm in an okay mood, then I just think I'm not beautiful enough

ehm... don't get sad and your face will always glow?

also you are way too focused on your appearance for a guy imo

No idea where you pulled that from, but that isn't what I was implying at all.

>also you are way too focused on your appearance for a guy imo
Is it weird that I get jealous of trans people and it makes me feel depressed? I wish that I could be beautiful. I was just in a transgender chat room and it actually made me feel sad, because there were so many beautiful people in there, and a couple of them even had partners and they were playing around with each other on the camera and it made me so sad. They were talking about how much they hate cis male chasers and I felt like I was nothing more than a foreign object in their chat room, so I left and felt extremely sad. I didn't really say that much and they didn't really say that much to me, nothing noteworthy. I've just been feeling extremely sad about it ever since.

>non-existent problems need solving

problems like these i.e. overanalysing yourself only become a problem when you're not doing anything else

No problem. Gkad you could find something positive to take out of it and I really wish you the best. I'll check those concertos out some time.

...

>I am worthless according to my own metric
>If I just keep myself too busy to self reflect that's not a problem!

John Williams - Stoner
Victor Hugo - The Hunchback of Notre-Dame
Bram Stoker - Dracula
Yukio Mishima - Temple of the Golden Pavilion
Fyodor Dostoyevsky - Notes From Underground

>i am worthless because i'm not doing anything
>if i keep doing nothing i will solve it even though i am worthless

these thoughts come from physical realities. a lack of mental stimulation is going to make you feel like shit. the 'metric' your worthless mind came up with isn't going to be accurate. you have no great insight because you suffer

also the more you engage with the world and other peoples' expectations the more you realise the 'metric' is skewed and that really no one cares because they're all too concerned with trying to make their own way in the world

and also the more you surprise yourself with the little things you lose sight of when you're just running over the same thoughts in your head and fooling yourself with confirmation bias

buy some face masks, sleep and eat regulary, see a therapist
everyone is unhappy don't be so self centered you aren't special

>these thoughts come from physical realities
What did he mean by this.
>really no one cares because they're all too concerned with trying to make their own way in the world
I never said anything that contradicts this.
>fooling yourself with confirmation bias
I'm not you. Stop fucking assuming.

yeah except people who are beautiful and have wonderful memories with their friends and lovers.

>What did he mean by this.
i went on to explain it in the very next sentence

>I'm not you.
you're right, your problems are wholly unique and have never been solved before

being beautiful might mean on average you get treated better, but that doesn't mean you can't also have mental illness and be depressed or mistreated and abused, same with people with 'friends and lovers'
google all the models who kill themselves
also are you 15

sex, attention, compliments, undue praise, all sorts of mind games. im a shitty person. but i'd make you feel pretty.

Are you pretty?

I'm not understimulated
>your problems are wholly unique and have never been solved before
>everyone has the exact same problems

pretty well above average like 8/10 or some shit. pretty enough to make someone who isnt or whos down feel better.

Not that user, but there is pretty strong evidence that beautiful people do have advantage in society:

"People’s physical attractiveness also predicts their frequency of dating, their feelings
of popularity, and others’ initial impressions of their personalities. We perceive
attractive people to be healthier, happier, more sensitive, more successful, and more
socially skilled, though not more honest or compassionate (Eagly et al., 1991; Feingold,
1992; Hatfield & Sprecher, 1986). Attractive, well-dressed people are more likely
to make a favorable impression on potential employers and to enjoy occupational
success (Cash & Janda, 1984; Langlois et al., 2000; Solomon, 1987). Income analyses
show a penalty for plainness or obesity and a premium for beauty (Engemann &
Owyang, 2005)."

Though you are right that this doesn't mean beauty is a impenetrable shield against unhappiness or existential worries.

I'd recommend "One Nation Under Stress" to you, OP. It's a psychology book about how stress (and by extension other mental problems) is used in the US. Some pretty interesting insights on the effectiveness and underlying philosophy behind the concept, and why the mental problems and solutions of the middle-class American fail to address these undercurrents. If you want to get rid of the feelings no matter what though, you can follow the typical self-help trio of productivity, meditation, and medication.

'not no one' isn't 'everyone'

anyway have you tried killing yourself?

I don't believe in medication, because I believe in a different world I wouldn't feel this way and there wouldn't be a need for medication. I have always felt that way, and I have never trusted my mind to some sort of chemical when we don't even fully understand the human brain. Just 50 years ago we used to shock people and cut out parts of their brain with an ice pick, even if they were just misbehaved children. You think that medical technology has really progressed that far in terms of psychological therapy? I highly doubt it. Plus I was taken to a hospital involuntarily once because I was lashing out at someone and they called the police on me, I have experienced first hand what sort of idea of "care" that this country has, and I think that if that's the way that hospitals treat people, and they drug you with a bunch of drugs (like 4 at once) and misdiagnose you with things you late get recanted by professions in the field, it really makes you wonder what the fuck our country is doing when they're trying to take "care" of people's mental health. I don't trust our medical system for a second with my health.

>'not no one' isn't 'everyone'
That was kinda my point.
>kys
My mom would be sad.

I have notes from underground and stoner but I haven't read them yet. I just ordered dracula, it was cheap on amazon, thank you.

your point seemed to be that the opposite of no one having your problems like i said would be everyone having your problems. what i said was that 'not no one' has your problems, suggesting that some do, and there is the possibility that they can be overcome

have you talked to your mom about this?

>I don't believe in medication

hows that going for you

My point was that saying that you can't kniw me from as little info as you had isn't claiming that I'm special which you were implying.

No.

Had to amputate my leg due to an infectious disease.

if you're op i'm not sure why you're starting a thread about yourself that ends up in you telling people they don't know anything about you

also maybe you should talk to her

I wasn't recommending you take it, just a suggestion. Though you are right that institutional medication, as far as mental health goes, is quite bizarre. Unfortunately the only way to get better would be to put more controls on the pharmaceutical companies to prevent rapid drug testing, thus getting rid of unsafe, rushed medicine. But at the same time, the reason these companies push out medicine is to turn out profit, because most politicians are rapidly cutting funding for mental health instiituions, to the point where you have an alarming amount of schizophrenics, bipolars, and other deviant (and potentially dangerous) living homeless on the street. And because most Americans don't really care about declining mental health institutions, it will never become a policy issue, but will continue to indirectly fuck them in the ass.

I'm not op.

yeah and you never hear about this, instead you just hear about a bunch of fucking assholes making sure they don't get their fucking guns taken away aka have some fucking common sense regulations, or you hear about fucking closeted homophobic bigots trying to make it impossible for transgender people to use the bathroom, or bullshit lying two faced politician selling some other fucking propaganda. Fuck! I'm sick of it, no one addresses these real problems, because of fucking HUMAN GREED!

i never claimed to know you because i never responded to a single post where you explained anything about yourself before i stated my point

i'm pretty fucking hot to honest wit u famalam no point being fake modest, but .... my social skills are total shit, so i never get any poom. well, every so often a hot chick comes a long and basically demands some dick, but in between those lucky occasions i have to wack it all the time, such a downer man...if i had even slightly non-autistic social skills i could get so much aesthetically pleasing sexual encounters, oh well

come on this is supposed to be one of those threads where we complain about how we don't get laid enough but all these shillary cucks have turned it into a anti-constitutional rights thread, take it to /pol/ u communist gun grabbers, no one cares, you all live in lilly white communities with like zero muslims and 1 black guy (who's probably a token professor of african-american lit at the local ivy) so just spare us the tales from the hood bullshit

dude I voted for bernie, I'm not voting in the general election.

let's not talk about politics please. I only brought that up because it was pissing me off that our country doesn't do jack shit about mental health.

Well, the fact that you're worrying about such things has more to do with the current state of the world that with some sort of congenital mental disorder. Sort out why do you want to fit in so bad and all your worries will be gone.

*sigh* yeah sure whatever

I donno, it's not like that Cho guy couldn't have got free counseling from VTech, and that guy who shot up those little kids was middle class, his mom could have took him to a shrink and medicated him...hell, those Columbine fedoras were medicated to the gills with all kinds of drugs...I'm not sure mental health treatment makes a difference really....i mean banning those semi-auto rifles would be ok i guess, but since the people who want to ban guns won't let us secure the border what's the point when anybody can just walk across the border with whatever. when you have corrupt catholic crime states like mexico and hondoras a couple hours away banning guns and making drugs illegal isn't going to do anything

Yeah that's why I don't think medication is a good idea and I wonder to what extent anyone really needs medication, because I think most of the problems people experience come from the world around them, real mental illness isn't impossible, I'm not saying that either.

so what the fuck makes you think it's ok to post your bullshit here you fucking mongoloid sad fag just kill yourself already fuck

the only guy who was legit insane of all these shooters was that guy who shot cathy giffords, if u saw his youtubes he was a really schizonutzo, but the rest of those dudes were just angry nerds

I didn't say banning guns, I meant making the process of getting a gun more difficult, because honestly it blows my mind that people have to wait weeks to get a car and get trained to get a car, but it takes like 5 minutes to get something that's literally designed to kill people, because FUCK SAFETY! Not when it comes to MUH GUNS, amirite?

lmao dude you remind me so much of myself.

the guy who shot up all those gays was a licensed security guard it wasn't like he just popped out of a sketchy rape van at a gun show and bought a bunch of shit, there was nothing that would have blocked him from buying those guns...the dude who shot up fort hood was a fucking soldier, should soldiers not be able to have guns?

Well, people need medication in order to cope with all that shit. Honestly, I think craving for relationships and worrying about being ugly or handsome in order to be accepted is the same thing. Having those things will solve none of your problems, you'll soon realize how shallow are the enjoyments they have to offer. If you really think the world is so fucked up, then don't look for solutions in things which don't seem to work well for people who have them.

Idk man, it's a tough question and I don't have an answer. I don't really wanna discuss this particular subject in this thread when it doesn't pertain to the theme.

dude, how u look has nothing to do with if people love u or not...just open your eyes man, do u see how many fat slobs have moderately hot wives? and no they aren't rich, they're just average slobs...also, it doesn't take much to make yourself more appealing, hit the gym and get at least a little in shape, throw out those jorts your mom bought you and buy some decent clothes, etc. you don't have to be a fucking movie star to get pussy or the human race wouldn't have 6 billion people...by blaming your something you can't change (your looks) you can avoid the fact that your personality is shit and your hygiene might be poor

me either, i live in an urban area with a decent amount of gun crime, and one of the biggest muslims communties in the united states, but quite frankly i don't give a shit about guns...the drug dealers will always get guns, if they can't buy them at walmart they'll just buy them from the people who supply them with all their drugs, and if some terrorists wants to terrorize the area and they can't get guns they'll just use bombs, or fucking airplanes like the last time, who gives a shit, it's a political distraction so people don't think about all of hillary clinton's middle class destroying neoliberal policies, anyway... let's get back to wallowing in self pity about how we don't get as much pussy as we think we should!

I don't understand where are you going with this argument man.

you can kill a guy with a banana, your logic is idiotic.

try killing 49 people with a banana.

>My mom would be sad
so what, moms are great at being sad, let her shine

ez pz with a bad enough banana

get your negativity out of this thread please. there's somewhere for you in this world where you can be happy, but please don't spread your negativity in this thread because that isn't making anyone happy.

fuck you