Does anyone have any books that can help me not give a fuck about anything ever again?

Does anyone have any books that can help me not give a fuck about anything ever again?

I have always been shy and anxious since I had a speech impediment until I was in high school, and it basically stunted my communication skills and made me never talk to anyone ever. Recently I am okay at talking to people, but I still get scared and anxious.

I am literally so tired of the feeling of anxiety in my stomach, I am just constantly worried about my future and about what people think of me. I have tried moodgym and it helps, but the anxiety comes back. I have gone to music festivals to get it out of my system, but even when I am there and drunk as fuck I still think about what other people think of me.

Is there a book that can cure me being a pussy and also putting everything in life off to mindlessly watch youtube videos? Like at night time I write myself notes because I become super motivated at night, but in the morning I wake up and just watch youtube videos for hours. Also I am heavily addicted to a "legal" opiate for 2 years and it fucked up my bodies reward system, but too hard to quit :\

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=700I5J_305I
sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/12/151210181635.htm
theconversation.com/magic-mushrooms-expand-your-mind-and-amplify-your-brains-dreaming-areas-heres-how-28754
pharmaceutical-journal.com/news-and-analysis/features/psychedelics-entering-a-new-age-of-addiction-therapy/20066899.article
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

>Does anyone have any books that can help me not give a fuck about anything ever again?
Choose between:
Stoic/Epicurean texts.
Rational-emotive therapy texts.
"The Ego and It's Own"

>I have always been shy and anxious since I had a speech impediment until I was in high school, and it basically stunted my communication skills and made me never talk to anyone ever. Recently I am okay at talking to people, but I still get scared and anxious.

>I am literally so tired of the feeling of anxiety in my stomach, I am just constantly worried about my future and about what people think of me. I have tried moodgym and it helps, but the anxiety comes back. I have gone to music festivals to get it out of my system, but even when I am there and drunk as fuck I still think about what other people think of me.

Have you ever considered anxiolytics?

>pic related

Persian detected

>not knowing who chestbrah is

i wish i was persian desu, from what I've seen the men are essentially the most attractive a man can be imo.

will look at all of those, I started epictetus discourses, and also the ego and it's own but I will try to finish them

also I don't really have proper medical coverage to get anxiolytics, but thanks for the advice

Nig, this isn't /adv/. Here's some adv though: get off the opiates immediately. start exercising, because you sound fucking fat. at least 5 times a week. now disconnect your internet for long portions of the day (phone too) and start reading. Books? Here's a few that helped when I too was an angsty teenager

meditations
siddhartha
i am a cat
solaris
the fall (read the stranger first, if you haven't already)
the plague

I would also read some pop-sci physics, something along the lines of 'the elegant universe'. It's amazing what some basic scientific understanding and history can do for your world-view *tip*

I hate that memecut

Was just going to recommend stoicism. Helped me bust out of a huge slump in my life. I haven't really changed much about my situation, but the enchiridion changed my whole outlook on life and living, and I'm much more content.

Meditations and the good old Schope, nerd.
>and it fucked up my bodies reward system, but too hard to quit :\
>:\
Consider suicide.

Thanks for the book recommendations, as far as exercise go I currently lift 6 days a week and do cardio every other day, it's really the only thing I am motivated to do for some reason, and I am aesthetic af. I always see people recommend exercise and shit for depression, and while it helps while you're doing it, I still feel the same afterwards lol

will consider it, thanks

>google chestbrah
>Zyzz brother
>Zyzz an Armenian

I was pretty close!

Neuromancer

It taught me not to give a frick about the multinational corporations ruining our lives. they are the real government and soon we will have billions of debt and wait in line for poverty hand outs.we are all slaves in a command system. break free

>not give a fuck about anything ever again?

Be careful what you wish for because I kind of wish I cared about things. I'm rarely anxious and never worried and I don't ever do anything.

But anyway

The Conspiracy Against the Human Race
The Ego and It's Own
Meditations
Schopenhauer's essays
Bio text books

Tell me about his "legal" opiate. Will it ever fill the void left by a lack of dilaudid?

by using opiates, you are becoming a body without organs, but not the desired, the cancerous one; you need the absence of it to make thing worth something. reward yourself with it and in the delirium, you are becoming a body without organs able to produce something incomprehensible and to, possibly, take down the Wall

>dilaudid
been there, pham.
withdrawals were unmanageably intense.

It's a blessing to not have access to them luckily I never got into shooting up, just railed the lil devils.

started with kava with friends in highschool, then I tried poppy seed tea and started drinkin that shit every time I could, then started kratom because it's cheap and can feel really good, then I got a hydrocodone hookup, so for the past year I've been raping my bank account with kratom and hydrocodone, it's dangerous to mix, but the two make me feel like my body is an orgasm and it lasts a long time too

that was beautiful but I didn't fully understand it. I am treating myself via physical good feelings over taking down the wall and having good mental health? I agree and really want to quit, but I am a pussy and the withdrawls hurt so fucking bad for so long

can someone confirm if this guy is wrong or right?

thanks

Just curious, what do you do for work? Are you a student?

just quit my retail job a few weeks ago to enjoy summer, then might be starting community college after summer is over

I don't even want to go to school, but I think it's the only way I can stay with my parents and not have to pay rent lol, really want to start my own business

Quit the drugs and you may just get what you wish for. I know it sucks but it's not as hard as you are making it. I have nearly a year clean from dope and it gets easier everyday. That isn't to say that I don't think about it everyday, but that it is easier to distance my desire from my action. While I enjoy my life better without the constant need to use, I care less than ever before. I am no longer concerned if I present myself in the way I intended. I am not concerned with how others view my actions. It isn't quite the same as depression or feeling that everything is pointless, but more of a way of accepting that how I intend on presenting myself and how others perceive me are rarely going to be identical. Again, my recommendation is to quit the drugs, which is likely one of the only things you really enjoy, and the outcome may be exactly what you wish, to care no longer.

>complains about anxiety
>wont' read the man who invented the idea of angst

Anxiety is simply the dizzying heights of freedom user. A vertigo of possibles. You need to see excitement in that. Have some faith.

quit drugs. quit Veeky Forums quite majority social media
you need progression and what you're doing atm isn't working

read nietzsche
listen to singer-songwriter music(bob dylan,sun kil moon,smog)

> The Game
> I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
> The Selfish Gene
> When Panic Attacks

you're welcome.

Oh. Also workout and eat well.

Conan The Barbarian - Robert E. Howard.

Seriously- Philosophy won't cure your anxiety - values if independance and self-determination will.

listen to the smiths on repeat
youtube.com/watch?v=700I5J_305I

...

Emerson's Essays. Particularly Self-reliance, and Spiritual Laws,

Have you tried hitting yourself hard on the head with a plastic bat repeatedly? It helps me, desu.

LIGOTTI—CONSPIRACY

thanks, you're right I really do need to quit. I have tried four times and I always make it through the intial withdrawls, but I eventually just say one night fuck it and I get high. I am motivated right now to quit, but four days from now I am not sure I'll feel the same.

I really don't get how people can quit permanently. I want to, but whenever I get upset about something I start taking it again. But I will give it another go.

will look into all of those thanks.

stoicism is not about not giving a fuck about anything. it's about not giving a fuck about things outside of your control. if you just want to walk around and be a dick to everyone, stoicism is not for you.

You need to recognize that other people worry about themselves, not you.

I'm in your situation, I've read every book, nothing helps. Benzos are the only answer, personally I don't think they're worth it but they'll certainly accomplish exactly what you want.

The fundamental problem with your question is that anxiety isn't a function of your prefrontal cortex, you can't think it away. All you can do is force yourself to engage in the situations you're afraid of, which will be pretty much intolerable at first. God speed, user.

Stop trying to quit. You're never going to be able to if you keep trying like that.

First try to do it only once a week and make sure you pick the day ahead of time, just on Saturday or what ever. Then go once every two weeks then once a month. You get it.

If you just straight try to quit it's like walking through a tunnel with no light at the end; some people have strong wills and can do it but you probably are not one of them judging by how you tried four times already.

this books don't do shit
gotta take the steps and fail over and over until you get it right

>Does anyone have any books that can help me not give a fuck about anything ever again?

You sound young and edgy.
Stirner would be perfect for you.

The Heart Sutra. It might sound like nonsense, so start with 101 Zen Stories from Zen Flesh, Zen Bones to see how the ideas of the Sutra are manifested in people.

inb4
>but user you don't understaaaaaand, I don't want to find freedom from anxiety, I really just want to feel high and entertained and socially accepted!

Good luck with that. :)

i always watch youtube vids on rejection therapy and shit, but I literally don't see how I could do that

I guess I could start benzos but I feel like they are very addictive and shit, I have been thinking lately that all drugs take back from you what they give you in one way or another, but maybe that's just opiates. Do I just need to tell my doc I have anxiety to get a prescription?

>I really just want to feel high and entertained and socially accepted!

yeah that's pretty much how I feel, but I am open to new idea and will read the 101 zen stories one. You just reminded me I should probably start meditating again, thanks!

I've never heard of quitting anything that way but I'll look into it, is that how you quit your addiction? I feel like it would just be really bad withdrawls for one day, then for 2 days, then for 3 days etc. Like isn't it just prolonging the withdrawls or am I missing something?

That is true of most drugs (not necessarily psychedelics, which are all good or all bad depending on the way your brain works). And yes, benzos are very addictive, that's exactly why I don't use them.

There's nothing wrong with saying you can't do it, that's the choice I've made and I'm happy with it. Know yourself, and know what you can or can't get enjoyment out of.

fuck lumberjack hipsters. i speak for the trees

honestly don't kill yourself trying to be something your not.
maybe its genetics that you're shy. can't change who you are.
just use it to your advantage really
but quite the drugs if anything.

I'm shy and I did a year journey of being "alpha" and all i did was have sex more often but the girls weren't really my type in anything.
my advice too you is study really hard in community college and focus on your field of choice and getting a good job.

t.adderall and benzo addict who almost had a heart attack 3 times

>that how you quit your addiction?
I stopped smoking and I've only done kratom once so it might be different.
I think it is good because when you stop there is that feeling (I'm sure you know) where you're kind of bummed that you're never going to do it again.
But instead I feel like "just have to wait a few days" and it's a lot easier to motivate yourself to wait a week than it is to wait till your death.

I don't know how bad withdrawals because when I did it the one time I just felt sick and threw up a bit the next day but that was it. Obviously it's very different for you. My biggest problem was always the mental addiction.

>Does anyone have any books that can help me not give a fuck about anything ever again?

I don't think books will you help that much with that. Things you could do are already mentioned in this thread. Stuff like working out, meditationg will help. Also putting yourself outside of you comfort zone will help. I also believe age is important fact. Back in high school I was very shy and always worried what people thought about me. Now 10 years later I hardly give a fuck about what anyone thinks about me.

don't read any of the shit in this thread it's all broicist/memeistentialist/orientalist bullshit and will, if anything, turn you into the average whiny Veeky Forums poster. just go to /adv/ and get some quality normie advice

this guy has it right

The Power of Now cleared my social anxiety, would recommend.

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Zen/Chan Buddhism tbqh
Just stay the fuck away from new agers and esoterics.

Helps you not care about shit you ought not to care about, stop breaking down when you can't help but care (good bye rumination) and makes you care authentically when you ought to care.

Also great for anxiety.
Read pic related (especially Gethin for intro to Buddhism) Dogen, Hakuin Ekaku and Takuan Soho (him last, he was a nut).
Some more contemporary dudes would be Kodo Sawaki, Shunryu Suzuki and Katsuki Sekida. Obviously there are more. But that ought to do it for now.
Alan Watts can give you a more easy intro to Zen, but he's a bit of a new ager.

If you are worried about "hurrdurr religion", take a look at Brad Warner. I don't like him personally and I don't think he is very smart. But he is a good example of how "flexible" Zen is, especially if it's not practiced as a religion per se.

PS:
Also, if you have insomnia, you will want to fix that.

Listen to "Sleep with me" podcast. That shit works like a fucking charm. (Start with the "Cry Cave" episode.)

...

I'm hooked on kratom, have been for two or three years.

I've read the Ego and Its Own, it has helped somewhat. Same with Meditations. It's hard to internalize some of this stuff when you're actually out and around people. The body is used to being scared, so it just naturally defaults to that state.

Experience being around people will probably help the most though. Also I've been listening to some quantum physics shit on youtube. Knowing that everything is just these particles doing random ass shit, kinda helps.

Eat like 5 grams of dried P. cubensis mushrooms.

In medicine they sometimes have to shock your heart to keep you alive.

Similar thing in psychology and psychedelics are the shock.

I give you my personal Guarantee that if you eat 5 grams of dried P. cubensis, or an equivalent amount of some other psychedelic fungus, you will not feel the same tomorrow, as you do today.

>looking for external means to further your sociability
>not going inward

The more you externalize yourself in this word, the further from what truths you are seeking will become, OP.

Just sayin'

In what way not the same?
Will he not give a fuck, or will he give different fucks... what would be the end result?

Not him, but less anxiety and depression.

sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/12/151210181635.htm

also this

theconversation.com/magic-mushrooms-expand-your-mind-and-amplify-your-brains-dreaming-areas-heres-how-28754

>Will he not give a fuck, or will he give different fucks... what would be the end result?

Impossible to say. Imagine everything you think turned upside down. That could be good or bad or neutral. Just eat the mushrooms and see for yourself.

How do you get this stuff?

Also seems to help with addiction

pharmaceutical-journal.com/news-and-analysis/features/psychedelics-entering-a-new-age-of-addiction-therapy/20066899.article

>not reversible procedure with unknown outcome

wew, I guess my avant-garde yt channel will have some better original content at least

post channel. need some inspiration to work on my own.

or at least give synopsis

Give up and become a heroin addict. You're already halfway there anyway.

wow this is really great. I truly don't know how to feel about christianity

>wow this is really great. I truly don't know how to feel about christianity
>Wow this is really great

I think you do. :)

It's experimental drone music with or without tribal-music inspired drums, some distortion and hall effects, etc. Playing around with a synthesizer creating eerie soundscapes; samples from lectures, speeches, TV shows, etc. Videos are samples from old TV shows, or captured by myself or a friend (usually long-take stills in the early morning or night of some street etc), weird cuts, effects, people looking into the camera with an expression like they think life was a mistake; a combination of all these. It follows a few themes such as decay, old Mesoamerican culture, orthodox Christian principles, overpopulation, luddism.

I started the channel out of pure irony and by being inspired by a rather unknown """artist""" with just above 1000 followers on yt who obsesses about Operation Odessa, Peru, existentialism and so on. He deletes his videos in fits, changes art direction and repeats it again. He's a German or Pole who lived in Peru for a while. Tracked him back to an obscure nihilist forum for Himmlerites where he shitposts deep one-liners or plain nonsense. The other guy who inspired me was nobodytm.

Besides more traditional avant-garde projects and pieces.

While it started off as irony it became an acquired taste and I would love to put out some better work.

I'd post my channel if I wasn't so embarrassed. I'm essentially a pseud and poser.

sounds like some grade a hipster shit. and here I am simply wanting to dissect video games.

The Bible.

is this a meme now?

The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle

>i wish i was persian desu, from what I've seen the men are essentially the most attractive a man can be imo.


wow

how can someone be so wrong is beyond me

jesus

just off yourself my man

Ogh, just post it faggot.

Sounds interesting. Please post the link, this place is anonymous anyway

OP here, I am going to spend all day tomorrow reading and shit, I got motivated to quit the drugs yesterday, but I couldn't fall asleep and had to dose up.

I really feel hopeless since someone said reading won't do shit. Also I realized I was too late to apply for my college so I have to wait an extra 6 months for the next semester which really fucking sucks and I am really upset about, but I guess it can't be helped lol

please tell me what is right then, cuz to me that's the definition of masculinity

OP UPDATE

I went to the gym and some guy introduced himself to me and i got all awkward but he didn't care, he told me that he has been 2 weeks sober from heroin, and I told him that's fucking awesome, and then later I mentioned that I was struggling with an addiction and told him what, and he said it was pussy shit compared to what he was doing, and earlier he said we'd exchange numbers before we left, but he did stretched then waved goodbye

like wtf... do u think he is mad cuz i take pussy shit? I wasn't trying to get empathy from him, just explaining that I understand what he's going through to some extent. maybe he just 4got we didn't exchange numbers.. this is the type of thing I need to not give a fuck about, but now I am going to be thinking about how I fucked up for the next few days :/

When I was young I cared what people thought of me.
As I got older, I stopped caring.
Now that I'm very old, I realize that no one thought about me to begin with.

Plastic hit head bat did you try sir?

i realize that but i still care, so maybe the cure isn't realizing it but age is the cure?

no sir

Coming here for advice is idiotic, you can tell because no one suggested you see a physician to help with your substance abuse, and a psychologist to help with the anxiety problem.

Seriously, do that. Nothing will be more helpful than getting professional help. Or you know, listen to a bunch of mongoloids on an Assyrian iPad upgrading bazaar.

its gonna take more than just books desu

Those might be helpful, but a physician cannot help with addiction, nor a psychologist with anxiety, until you make the decision yourself to face discomfort and adversity.

Hit head bat with a plastic bat, sir.

You're welcome.

Stop hating yourself, man. You have to love yourself. Who made you hate yourself? Why do you hate yourself when you are what you must live with for your whole life?

Hit head with bat, sir.

You could ask the same of this entire website. It's a sad place.

i can't afford it lol

what does it take

any advice on how to make that decision

idk desu

more than books

What about Camus helped you exactly?

Pretty much Camus, to become the absurd hero by embracing absurdity in this absurd society. You give a fuck about society being absurd, but in a way you don't focus on it so much because you are an absurd hero.

It's pretty cool, I don't know if Camus was like that but he fugged a lot of actresses so probably he only used in special cases. I think he did gave a fuck about life.

>any advice on how to make that decision

Think only about what your complacency is costing you, what you're missing; obsess over it until it becomes even less tolerable than the pain of breaking that complacency.

that's good advice thanks

frank yang said to not give a fuck he focuses on what people think of him, but what he wants is for people to think he's insane, so i guess it's similar to that?

Anything of Henry Miller.

Cognitive behavioural therapy.

No book will help you, this is your answer, the longer you postpone it the more you'll be affected by it, it will change your life to the better.

Can I read a CBT book or something? I read somewhere that CBT can actually cause patients to have an increased amount of anxiety afterwards so I am really afraid to try it, although moodgym is basically a form of CBT.

Like would a textbook or something work? I am poor as fuck and a therapist / psychologist isn't on my insurance...

Anxiety is a symptom of not working hard toward what you truly enjoy, your brain doesn't know what to do with all the surgically precise criticism so it just uses it on yourself until you apply it to something productive and healthy

Faculties for criticism*

It's heavily inspired by stoicism, the whole don't worry about things outside your control, so you may find it helpful to read that concurrently. Especially if you want some sort of philosophical framework. For the pure CBT you should be able to find some work books online that help you put into action that mentality, which is essentially the therapist will have you doing. Though to be honest having a therapist, if they are any good, would be the ideal. Especially with your substance abuse problems.

Why would you talk to people? Dont waste your energy on them, FEEL everytime you MUST say something and your words will blow everyone's mind.
Just be strong on the inside. FAGGOT

Actually I just read on my insurance page that Mental health and substance use disorder services, including behavioral health treatment are covered by it, I had no idea.

Should I just try to do that then? Or should I give the workbooks a go and see if they work or not. I honestly would feel really awkward at therapy, since I feel like my problems aren't as big as some with huge mental health issues so I feel like they might think I'm wasting their time? Also with the substance abuse thing, what could they even do, I already know how to get through withdrawls, I just can't stay off it for long.

not sure if that's very good advice or garbage, but thx lol

pic related, it's how I would feel at therapy since I would probably be scared to open up

Also does anyone know if anxiety/depression can be genetic? Since all four of my grandparents, my uncle, and my dad are heavy alcoholics (no idea how they've all lived so long), and my brother and cousin were on my depression meds. Also my cousin who I grew up with got addicted to heroin and overdosed last year, could it just be that I'm genetically pre-disposed to be addicted to shit and have anxiety?

anyways goona go to bed, thanks for the help everyone, I really hope to fix myself

i miss nobodytm
those people are always so erratic

I have a pretty similar problem although I'm not addicted to anything, so I have even less excuses than you.

You say you cannot afford it, give me more information on your circumstances and I will help you figure out how to get treatment.

Job status,income, age.

Because if you live in most first world countries, even America, you can.

See it's covered. They won't think you're wasting their time, anxiety and substance abuse are serious issues.
They see many different kinds of issues.

Go!

One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest

Sounds like the combine got you. Live for yourself, even it means people think you're a dick.