That kid who says 'fertilized' when the waitress asks how he would like his eggs

>the kid who says the food is great but barely eats any of it

I think my friend still does this. Please, tell me truth so you don't starve, we can buy something else.

It's an old Mitch Hedberg joke.

>the kid who says anywhere is fine but complains when they get there

[audible rage intensifies]

xD

>that kid who took his shoes off at restaurants
fucking indians

>asks for fertilized
>they bring him tendies
What the fuck, I wish I had know this sooner, it's so much cheaper than ordering tendies separately

>that kid who was breastfed until he was 12

I know your mom called it breastfeeding, but you have to understand that you were abused.

"The other morning my sister made some eggs. So we cooked them..." - Emo Philips

>that kid who asks for the works, but then proceeds to say "except for this this this this and this"

>Can I just get the chicken fingers basket.

depends if she was hot

I took my ex-girlfriend's 14 year old daughter out for breakfast. I found out that was the very first time she ordered for herself. It never even occurred to me that anyone over the age of 6-7 might not be able to tell wait staff what they wanted to eat.

3/10

Why would you be taking an ex-girlfriends 14 year old daughter for breakfast? . . .No - don't answer that!

>How do you want your steak?
>Kill it twice

Why do people do this? They sound so autistic. Just say you want it well done for fucks sake.

Better than "still mooing"

I've never been with or herd that in my life. why are you eating with 12 year olds op?

Cuck

>that kid who still ordered from the kids menu until he was 16

I-im not alone, right?

>that kid who told on you when you snuck food

>that kid in the dorms who stole over 30 napkin dispensers, over 50 drinking glasses, 100 pieces of silverware, and over 70 assorted bowls and plates from the university dining hall

I have never ordered from a kids menu

kek'd heartily

And surprisrisingly had no student debt when he graduated.

Kek

>that kid who speaks for the whole table when asked if you all would like another minute to decide

Toppest of the Kek to you, sir.

>that kid who always insist on paying even though you also make a nice allowance and can afford it and the only reason he's doing it is to cause a scene and have the other kids you're eating with think he's a swell guy but deep down he is a controlling sociopath who has to dominate everyone.

>that kid who stutters when giving out their order then turns red from embarrassment and he feels like complete shit about what happened
>I was that kid

hi

>tfw you were no longer a kid by the time you learned there was such a thing as a kid's menu

>Hes never been to a good Japanese restaurant

You don't get rich by spending money

>that kid who goes on a long rant about why tipping is bullshit but he doesn't realize nobody gives a shit.

>tfw this was legit me IRL

I'm so sorry, I need to leave the Veeky Forums shit here where it belongs

>be like two years ago
>go out to restaurant with friends
>friends dad is taking us
>we're all sitting down and qt waitress comes over to take our orders
>I order something simple, eggs and toast
>she asks "What kind of toast do you want user?"
>brainshittingitself.flac
>Look at her with a retard look and say "Uh... normal?" in a condescending manner
>everyone at the table looks at me like a retard
>friend says "He means... he wants his toast on white bread."

mfw I'm a fucking moron. I want normal toast.

I did the same thing the first time a waiter asked me how I wanted my burger. They just brought me it well done. I wasn't condescending about it though, just really confused.

I don't know if i was completely condescending but I was so confused I was thinking "The fuck does she mean? What fucking kinds of toast are there? Toast is toast."

>Toast is toast

Are you me? This is something my stepdad and I have been saying for years

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it

>toast on white bread
are you british

I mean, you can put stuff ON toast, but once another piece of bread is involved it's like a toasted sandwich. But toast generally is toast. I may be your long lost brother.

Nah I'm not british, Meant to say he wants white bread toasted. Not ON white bread.

No

Did he steal his university fees too?

>not knowing restaurants have more that one kind of bread option
you are retarded and socially inept and sound underage as fuck

I literally never fucking have any other kind of bread, nobody I have ever known has anything other than white bread, especially not toast. And I'm on fucking Veeky Forums, you think I go out to eat often? Or in public? Please. Die faggot.

at least you know he doesn't suck dick

>the first time I went to a restaurant where they grate the cheese over your dish until you tell them to stop
>not realize this until I have a huge mound of cheese on my macaroni
was still pretty good

I bet you're one of those Rye-eating queers.

is it just me or has Veeky Forums been meaner than it was last year? I remember this place being pretty chill

>general

well he did order one of the simplest easiest things to make

In my defense she should have asked "what kind of bread would you like"

The election cycle is causing /pol/ users to lash out on other boards.

Correct. If someone asked me what kind of toast I wanted, I would say raw toast, please.

I don't use /pol/ but I also don't frequent Veeky Forums so this a rare occasion here for me.

My cousin was the opposite. He ONLY ate white food. Since he was little he's pretty much lived off of spaghetti noodles covered with butter, fettucine Alfredo, mashed potatoes, and even after working at Subway for 2 years (he's 18 now) he only ever ate provolone cheese toasted on the white bread (he had to learn what the other veggies were) I honestly can't think of another time when he's eaten anything else.

>have a lesbian sister
>whenever we go out to eat she makes a point of this
>'I won't have a burger, looks like a vagina, I am SICK of eating those'
>'I hope this food doesn't taste like pussy, haha, I've had enough'
>'I'll have a Diet Coke.... I'm not on a diet but I don't need to burp sugar when I am eating my girlfriend'
>'can I have extra fries? For my pussy'
>tfw everyone gets angry
>she doesn't care

Its fucking annoying
She is fat btw like 280lbs so don't think 'oh a hot lesbian'. She is fucking fat and annoying.

Sounds like she's trying to hard to make it a point she's a lesbian and is probably actually straight doing this for attention. Next time, just fucking embarrass her, just YELL in her face "WE GET IT, YOU'RE A FUCKING LESBIAN, NOBODY GIVES A FUCK, NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP AND EAT, NOT THAT YOU NEED TO, YOU FUCKING TUB OF LARD, GUYS THOUGHT LESBIANS WERE HOT UNTIL THEY LAID EYES ON YOUR BELUGA ASS"

Bet she stops.

I'm so sorry user

>be 14
>eating out with my family
>order a steak
>waitress asks how I want it done
>never been asked so I say well done
>mother stops me and tells me I've always eaten medium rare and some chefs even get angry if you ask for well because it ruins the meat
>first time learning about this

Methinks the lady doth protest too much

>Tfw I still don't know the difference between well done, rare, medium rare and whatever else there is.

sry I've just heard kids:
youtube.com/watch?v=CB8eItG_v00

Oh boy I've been waiting for this thread. Have a wall of inbred cousins.

>That kid who tucks the napkin into his shirt like a bib, says no when the waitress offers extra napkins, and ends up using everyone else's to wipe his hands and face because he's a slob
>That kid who cuts into his steak, complains it's not cooked, gets a well done replacement and complains it's too chewy
>That kid's evil twin who squishes his steak with a fork, calls the juice grease and complains about it, gets served a dry-ass brick in return and complains it's too chewy
>That kid who eats one item out of his entire meal and doesn't want to take home his leftovers and then complains about being hungry on the ride home
>That kid who asks for another drink after taking two sips of the one he's got and ends up with 6-10 nearly full glasses of soda in his corner of the table
>That kid who orders an appetizer only he likes and then never touches it and snacks from everyone else's instead
>That kid who tells the waitress about his allergies AFTER his food has been brought to him and he has to order all over again and is complaining about slow service while he still has the menu and we're all on dessert
>That kid who gets asked "how's the food" and either burps, farts, or makes humming/smacking sounds as he eats
>That kid who loads his plate at buffets, eats one or two things, loads another plate, repeats until he's wasted about forty pounds of food and wants to go to mcdonald's on the way home
>That kid who pronounces croissant "quah-sahnt"
>That kid who pronounces challah with a CH sound
>That kid who pronounces mozzerella "moo-tsa-rah-lah" with an Italian inflection and that little hand motion with the fingertips together
>That kid who asks if something is fresh or frozen in a chain restaurant
>That kid who wants to sit on the inside of the booth and then crawls under the table so he doesn't have to ask anyone to move so he can use the bathroom every four minutes

>TFW Error: Comment too long

Even if she were hot as fuck, that would be annoying.

Fortunately, I have good news for you: your sister is 100% straight. Lesbians are notoriously tight-lipped about their sex lives.

Is your sister a character in a sit-com?

I sometimes instinctively say I need a minute not trying to talk for everyone, but I assume most of the people I know are adult enough t say "hey I'm ready tho."

whenever I was a kid I was never like that but when I had a cousin who did nearly over half of these things, I wonder wtf happened

so let the kid pay for dinner and thank him.
these kind of domination mind-games only exist in the mind, don't let him get to you.
>source: my childhood friend also become a sociopath when he started making his own allowance.

>I'm not on both boards so this is all new for me

I have a buddy who eats like a fucking child and it makes me unreasonably embarrassed to go out sometimes with him. I don't mean he has simple tastes, he just somehow has a mountain of used napkins at the end where me or anyone else maybe have two slightly soiled napkins. I just don't fucking get it.

I'm 18, ordered a kids menu at a vietnamese restaurant in Berlin because they're generous as fuck with portion sizes.

>6-10 nearly full glasses of soda in his corner of the table
what the fuck

>Grade school aged kid asking for his burger to be cooked medium rare because he saw it on television and wanted to sound smart

Never wanted to undercook a burger so bad and get him sick in my life, I don't know why but it irked me

I liked it

What's wrong with a medium rare burger? Or was the kid just irritating?

Yeah whatd wrong with medium rare burger. If its beef burger then I think Medium is better lol

Did she put out?

Live e.coli and salmonella are dangerous, user

Oh don't be such a faggot. E.coli an salmonella are pretty rare even in cheap ground beef. I guess you've also never been in a car without buckling your seatbelt or rode a bike without a helmet?

Tell your family to stop inviting her to get food until she leans to shut the fuck up.

I like rare meat and I'd never do either of those things.

>That kid who gets asked "how's the food" and either burps, farts, or makes humming/smacking sounds as he eats

my brother died when i was nine years old. that was a bad year.

youtu.be/6x-JVXkd8SQ

I believe he was referencing this op

>that kid who sees something new/different on the menu and considers ordering it but panics when the waiter starts asking what everyone wants and just reverts back to the same thing they always get

Where I live "a toast" is 2 loafes of sandwich bread with cheese in it.

The sandwich bread is most commonly made of various sorts of wheat, however there are some mixed variables such as rye, so people usually specify when they order a toast.

If you just want a plain piece of bread toasted, you have to order "roasted loaf of plain white bread".

Reminds me of the "i only eat white food" customer, didnt have courage to ask why, middle age woman with creep eyes