Who's the greatest writer of all time?

Who's the greatest writer of all time?

my diary desu

satan's diary would be very interesting

it really wouldn't desu

It'd be an interesting read if it existed.

Or does this include everyone's writings and actions since the fall of man?

>Or does this include everyone's writings and actions since the fall of man?
Why would it. It'd be him being an asshole to everybody, it'd be hilarious

You're in luck.

>today God passed me by in the hallway knocking my books out of my hands
>he said "drop stuff much"
>Gabriel laughed

Melville, followed by Flaubert, followed by Tolstoy, followed by Shakespeare, followed by Proust.

>Who's the greatest writer of all time?
Mr Smartty Pants of course, just drop sentences in his pants and prose flows out like water.

24k/10

>tfw David Foster Wallace isn't the first post

it really is summer Veeky Forums

>Archangel Michael shoved me into a locker again
>when I told God they just high-fived and told me to eat a dick
>I'm gonna get these assholes back, I swear

Yes, because endless memeing about a guy who can't think, can't write, and has no discernible talent really shows how cultured we all are.

Shakespeare

the greeks

>fall of man

Oh You

>I got a letter from The Beelzebub asking me to meet behind the gym after school
>When I got there I realized it wasn't from him
>The archangels held me down
>They tarred and feathered me
>They laughed chanting, "why are you covering yourself with your wings, Angel Bitch!"
>Angel Bitch
>The name still haunts me
>I killed myself that night
>Woke up in hell
fml

>Guy who didn't know how to read or write sudendly writes the best literature in English for years to come
Sure
The best author is someone from the golden age of Spanish literature, prob Lope De Vega or Gongora

>Qt 3.14 asked me the time
>Before I could tell her God came from behind and pulled my pants down
>The girl started laughing when she saw my pointy red tail sticking out of my underwear
>God said "That must be the end of one of his mom's dildos"
>He then proceed to grab the girl by the hip and walk away
>I'm gonna keep sharpening my trident

Joyce

Joyce Carol Oates

I smirked and smiled, whoo hoo!

> I think I might start giving guitar lessons

Dante Alighieri off course

Kurt Vonnegut

King James

I don't know, but definitely a woman.

John Green.

the venerable Bede
or Chaucer

Someone from the future.