Food Autism

What are some autistic things you do to/with your food? I'll start:
>when food is too hot i spit it out and usually swear, followed by waiting an extended period of time for my food to cool down until it's cold and unpleasant in order to "teach it a lesson"
>only drink my drinks in one chug, starting and finishing any drink i have by chugging it all down at once
>whip my hands around the kitchen to grab things like im Mashiba from Hajime no Ippo or Kamaji (the boiler man) from Spirited Away because i think it looks cool
>use salt shakers to shake salt into my mouth if im waiting for food at a restaurant, just so i can get some savory flavor to tide me over
>shoot back the little cups of creamer you get at restaurants
>play the "Chef" soundtrack on my phone every time i cook anything

>he doesn't gauge the temperature of his food before he shoves it into his mouth
Omg I thought I was the only one

the fuck?

You're fucking pathetic. I feel sorry for your parents.

I forgot one more thing:
>only season one side of my food and pretend to be desperate for resources so i have to ration out the "good" parts of the food and not waste all of the seasoned bits too fast, lest i have to eat the rest of the unpleasant food without seasoning. (Ex. "I rushed through my meal without thinking and now i've got all this tasteless pork chop and only a sliver of surface pork left")

>when I eat shitty food I don't like, I pretend I'm living in the wilderness and that this was the only thing I could procure, and that I'll starve if I don't eat it
Works pretty well desu

I do this thing where I put it in my mouth and repeatedly open and close my mouth to crush it down

Then I force it down my throat

So does your mom

That's where I picked it up from.

>>shoot back the little cups of creamer you get at restaurants

Okay fine. You got me. I do this.

And I'll cop to the less-fucking-nuts version of Which is that I'm very particular about the order that I eat my foods and the pacing, or bite-order even. Like I know people who will eat all the skin off a breast piece of fried chicken and then eat the meat, which seems like a waste. Spread it out so that most of the meat has at least some of the skin with it. I wouldn't artificially manufacture that feeling, though, and I don't think that that's particularly weird.

When I'm alone and eating steak I only eat it using my hands and mouth and then lick my hands clean like an animal

When eating carrots I always do a Bugs Bunny impression, even if I'm in public or something I do it in my head just not out loud

When I eat fried chicken I imagine I'm black because it makes me enjoy it better to get into that mind state

When I eat chili dogs I pretend I'm Sonic The Hedgehog

Okay fuckit, I'm not that strange of a guy, but when I was younger the way I would eat corn chips is to chew a couple of them up into a ball of cornmeal more or less, hold it in my hands and bite pieces off of it to eat separately. I don't know why. Different consistency?

When I was little I used to chew up Cheese-its and roll them into little balls in my hands and eat them. I have no idea why I did this.

>get into that mind state

Why, in gods own name, would you want to enter that mind state? Have you ever watched local news in a midsize or larger city?

When I eat instant ramen, I keep a constant flow of noodles going into my mouth. I slurp it up without blowing and finish one packet in about a minute time.

I make little cracker sandwiches filled with previously chewed up crackers.

Sometimes I like to completely over fill my mouth with food. To the point where I can barely keep it closed. I'm convinced food tastes better this way.

When drinking water, I kinda pour it down my throat without physically gulping.

>When I'm alone and eating steak I only eat it using my hands and mouth and then lick my hands clean like an animal
FUCK I love to get those cooked rotisserie chickens and do this. Just pick up the whole thing with your hands and go at it. I was veg for a while and did this when I stopped, was so satisfying

I don't know why but I can't stand cold savory food. With sweet stuff I have no problem if it's cold but savory food must be warm/hot.

I eat the thing I hate most in the dish first. Like green peppers. This just makes the most sense to me.

>when eating chips or crackers, I store the chewed mush in one side of my cheek and suck out the moisture, leaving a big ball of chip that I take back out and take bites of like an apple

>I eat chicken and pizza cold, but I heat up a sauce to dip it in and pretend a studio audience is applauding my innovation

>I cut everything I eat into equally sized and symmetrical pieces.
>I throw every peel or piece I don't eat in my backyard because it's biodegradable, if I throw it in the trash I feel guilty.
>I have never eaten the tip of the banana my entire life, I always take it off because my mom told me it was poisonous when I was little, even though I know it isn't now I still can't eat it.
>I look up the vitamin content of everything I eat and plan my meals to have a balanced and varied nutrition intake.
>I've drank green tea every morning for the past year.

>use salt shakers to shake salt into my mouth if im waiting for food at a restaurant, just so i can get some savory flavor to tide me over
>shoot back the little cups of creamer you get at restaurants

You sure you're just not an eleven year old? I did this type of shit as a kid.

Sometimes when I don't have anything to eat I will go to the grocer store and take free packs of ranch sauce and croutons and I will eat them together at home while pretending it's caesar salad without the salad.


Sometimes when I am not in the mood for pretend salad I will just go take like 8 packs of croutons and eat them in one sitting because after the 5th or 6th bag it does a good job of curving my hunger.


In the past I have eaten leftovers from people's plates in restaurants. I also once stole a burger. There was this older couple dining on the outdoor patio and I was walking by when their food came. Without thinking I grabbed the burger off the plate and started running while stuffing my face.

If I get a pizza with any veggies I have to pick the veggies off or just ask for pepperoni/plain cheese

I've put french fries and macaroni and potato chips on pepperoni pizza at the same time.

I tried frying an egg in coconut oil and it didn't turn out very good

There is this family in my neihbourhood that grows fruits/vegetables in their backyard. Sometimes when I don't see their van in the driveway I will sneak as quick as I can onto their property and steal some fruits and veggies.

I do the same thing

Stealing isn't autistic, it's just morally insensitive

But the noises I made when doing it was definitely autistic. I made grunting/pterodactyl noises.

And they appreciated that, no matter what else you did. You're a special little snowflake, embrace it.

Thanks I feel special.

If I got a sandwich or burger, the lettuce gotta be inside. If any of it, or any other leafy thing is hanging outside the edges I have to tear it off

I still do this. I'll cook a t-bone and shrimp mashed 'taters and only use my hands as I binge on Netflix and drink wine straight from the bottle. So degenerate yet so satisfying