What is the science behind making successful Veeky Forums threads?

What is the science behind making successful Veeky Forums threads?

A lengthy post.

No seriously. Phone posting destroyed this site to the point where a post longer than a few sentences is guaranteed replies.

I'm not familiar with phone posting. Would that be because it takes a long time to scroll past a lengthy post on a phone?

Not the user from before but Phone threads are usualy just a few sentences long because it's harder to type on a phone then it is on a keyboard. generaly speaking.

Bait and follow up.

Alternatively, being genuine and following up genuinely, but having a perspective that so contradicts the norm, that people feel like you're trolling but can't tell, try to "inform" you, or get pissed and want to tear you down.

But their attempts are left wanting, and you do not see their light. Yet they continue to respond endlessly.

Post anime girls on an image board frequented by young adults that spoon pillows while stroking neck beards as they browse.

If you want to ask a question, make a post about it that is an obvious falsehood, and be arrogant about it.
People will insultcorrect you and you'll be answered.

If you want to talk about a subject, first try to simple talk about it. Sometimes, there's enough people interested in it to get the thread going.
If not, simply talk about the subject in an outrageous manneer, with obvious falsehood, and make sure to hammer that you are an expert about it.


TL;DR pretend to be a retard.

I actually usually have my hand on my dick, so you know.

Not really doing anything with it. Just kind of there.

This made me laugh the whole way through.
It's so true.

This

I don't know about the science but my dick is behind your mum.

Take your pedophile cartoons back to .

Noice. Top-tier shitpost my mang! Here's your No Bell Prize :^)

Clover was a mistake

never should have installed it on my phone

The first few replies seem to be important. They can really make a break a thread from what I've seen.

On the contrary I've found Clover to be pretty helpful. On my computer I'm busy with textbooks so I don't really look at Veeky Forums much, but on the bus to college I can't really do that so I browse Veeky Forums on my phone. Though I do agree that phoneposting has had an impact on Veeky Forums though I can't see why people can't post long posts; I can write just as fast on my phone as I can with my pen.

Axiom: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.
Fact: Most replies on Veeky Forums are stupid.

Mostly address your target audience.

You can use a skeleton on which to build up posts so that it draws in the readers, and it's even nice to do that as opposed to cracking parts of your life into chunks and throwing it at people like a man in a costume throws styropor buildings for the making of Godzilla.

Making threads with controversial subjects. Which leads to people defending their own opinions as if their life depends on it since they actually think internet is srs business.

For example : Blacks are less intelligent than whites.

>For example : Blacks are less intelligent than whites.
But that's true...

Yeah but it causes controversy among how to address it, which some people suggest it shouldn't be addressed at all.

It's well known that reality have a genocidal fascism bias, so it really is best to not adress it at all.

I've actually done experiments and got to the conclusion that you can't really know for sure.
But I've noticed patterns that can help you out.

Fore example, there are threads that will always be successful because the topic is always relevant to people's lives or they can relate; these threads you see them once in a while since the beginning of time.

Sometimes you will make a thread that will be unsuccessful, then someone else will make the same thread and will be successful.
This can be because of the time you were posting your thread or the amount of threads that were more popular at that time.

Sometimes you will see a thread that is obvious baiting/trolling/childish and it's very popular, then you go in it and see that two thirds of the posts are actually samefags.

Threads also depend on what's trendy at the time or what newfags find interesting.
For example, what was trendy in 2003 is not trendy now, and the people from those times are 13 years older now with different views, senses of humor and experience. Perhaps they left the site a long time ago. So you can't make threads in 03's style and expect them to be successful anymore.

And finally, people will post random shit that is very successful for some reason.
I have no idea why, but as some comments suggested, it might be the first replies that decide the outcome of a thread.

Furthermore, threads that are very successful in one board might not be in another.
I've made a successful thread in one board and then made the exact same thread but oriented towards other topic in another board and they told me to fuck off.

I think you spend a little too much time on Veeky Forums, user...

Not that I don't waste entire days on this shitty website, myself.

>you spend too much time on x, argument

It it does you no harm then there's no reason to stop.

>trying to be successful on Veeky Forums

Whatever floats your boat, my man. Not trying to argue. Pretty autistic in my opinion though if you ask me t b h f a m.

>tfw I have like 20 Veeky Forums tabs open atm

Is it really doing you no harm, though?

Like, when you take a step back and really examine your life, you don't see any harm at all?

Really?

This.

Believe it or not I've learned a lot from Veeky Forums.
It has actually helped me mentally and socially.

Also someone has to do these experiments so people can learn and shit.