Don Quixote for the Digital Age

A few months back, I self published a book called A Boatload of Guns. It’s a weird little novel based on a screenplay I wrote in 2010.

Set in 2011, the story follows a delusional substitute teacher from northern Vermont who falls in love with a fictional Cuban pen-pal and embarks on a mission to liberate Cuba by delivering a boatload of guns to the island’s weaponless public.

Alfonso Quinones de Vermonte enlists the help of his social media-obsessed friend, Pancho Santos, and his vintage Harley, Poderosa, and together they take off on a journey from Vermont to Miami. Along the way, they are mistaken for guerrilla marketers and become inadvertently associated with Occupy Wall Street, the Tea Party movement, an energy drink marketing campaign, and Senator Bernie Sanders.

If you’re interested in the contemporary American political climate, Bernie Sanders, Che Guevara, political satire, internet culture, gun control (pro or anti), twitter #revolutions, or Don Quixote, you might find this book entertaining.

I hate spamming message boards but I'm terrible at self promotion and would really love some feedback. If you're interested in reading/reviewing let me know. First 10 responder get a free digital copy.

amazon.com/Boatload-Guns-Kirbert-Curto-ebook/dp/B0189X4E1A

I'm here for that free copy.

Dude, free stuff lmao

Yeah I want free shit

Free copy please sir

free shit u kno it

I'll take a free copy of your book senpai

I don't want.

Shiettt

I'm from Miami so this seems interesting

I'll give a look

aw man, you had me with
>Set in 2011, the story follows a delusional substitute teacher from northern Vermont who falls in love with a fictional Cuban pen-pal and embarks on a mission to liberate Cuba by delivering a boatload of guns to the island’s weaponless public.
and lost me with everything else. take all the Quixote stuff out and i'd be interested again as the initial premise is pretty good.

>take everything out of that book you've already written

yep. the Quixote stuff kills it for me. the author had a great premise and screwed it up by making it an homage to Cervantes? why? it's okay to use the work as a skeleton or scaffolding during the first drafts, but to stick with it for the final is lazy authorship, i'd say. matter of fact, i think the premise is strong enough to garner interest from publishers if not for the Quixote part. well, unless it's shoddily written.

>I haven't read it, yet I know that it's shit because it's an ode to Cervantes
Fuck off, user.

lol, it's gonna be ok man, dude published his first novel and it's a small one. dude is just tryna get a foothold, get some writing under his belt. dude is experimentin. all sortsa great writers write whack first novels. le meme himself just wrote an autobiographical bildungsroman and changed his gender. if dude here made something fun n pretty enjoy it. dude don't have to write ulysses his first go. dude just havin fun

ok I'm not dude himself so I'm not sure what dude wants and I haven't read it, that was speculation, but give dude the benefit of the doubt yeah? all sortsa good authors do derivative and recycled plot lines and parodies. dude is gonna be ok

dude, did you not read the synopses provided by the author? it's not like i'm reaching for reasons to dislike it out of my ass. i also didn't say it was shit. it may very well be spectacular but i wouldn't know b/c i have no interest in reading it. i've already read Don Quixote. i don't need a self-published modern retread.

who didn't enjoy Clueless?

> don quixote
> 234 pages

smells like samefag in here

>reading for the plot

who reads for plot?

look, there are plenty of great books to choose from out there. if the initial premise of a novel by a self-published author with no prior work does not kindle my fancy i see no reason to be excited by it. not slighting anyone here. the novel could be great, for all i know. but i won't because i have twin stacks of Nabokovs and Faulkners to read. now, if, say, Thomas Pynchon came out tomorrow with a novel based on Don Quixote, you're damn right i'd read it.

anyways, good luck with the novel Curto.

>self-published ebook
no thanks

"
>lol
First line of book: "@HcklbrryTwn: Persons attempting to find humor in this narrative will be disappointed. Persons attempting to find originality will be shot.

>be me
>getting familiar with the canon
>decide to read the Odyssey
>tfw I'll never read Ulysses now

fwiw, Ulysses would be OK by comment-op's rules-- Odyssey is used as scaffolding, not updated event-for-event. Sure, the references are scattered throughout, but neither the plots nor the chapters line up very much

funny you should mention that. i did a study on Ulysses during my college days and will always tout Joyce as one of the greatest novelists of the previous century. now if you're comparing Joyce to Curto, well, i leave it at that...

ps. nice doggies.

>nabokov
ah, so that's why you're a pleb asshole.

>pleb asshole
didn't you mean corncobby asshole? get your pre-established meme insults correct, you unoriginal !

Well, as far as we're both concerned, this guy is to us what Joyce was to a reader in 1916, some nobody who published a book that didn't sell

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Rollin' with the hooooo-ooo-mies ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

hey, dude is just tryna be fun and love lit. why hate the dude?

from the plot i can already tell i will not be reading it because it sounds horrible

mate, from the synopses and the abbreviated information he provides above, I can assure you Curto is no Joyce.

in any case, long live Curto!

Is this whole book written in tweets?