Kebab chef here, living and working in london, hammersmith. ask me anything

kebab chef here, living and working in london, hammersmith. ask me anything.

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>chef

Good one. You just put meat between bread.

Kebab chef lol your delusional you paki fuck all you do is slice meat and put salad in bread your subway with a knife and less salad kys

Kebab chef lol your delusional you paki fuck all you do is slice meat and put salad in bread your subway with a knife and less salad
Go home and kys

>kebab chef
fuck off

it's an art basically. you have to know the exact amount of time to toast the bread perfectly. also you have to be very good with knife to slice meat properly. it takes years to master. it takes 6-7 years to finish med school and become a doctor and i'd say it takes even more to become a good kebab chef.

Kebab chef lol your delusional you paki fuck all you do is slice meat and put salad in bread your subway with a knife and less salad kys

self-delusion: the post

i'm not saying it's harder than finishing med school. it obviously isn't. i'm just saying it takes more time to actually master it.

it's one thing to eat it and another thing to make it, boss.

white sauce recipe nao plox

>Kebab chef

yoghurt, garlic, salt, lemon juice. yes, it's this easy.

I notice people are calling you a Paki but the chances are you are working with Turks.

Ammirite?

fanks m80

>if takes over 9000 years to learn how to toast some bread and cut some meat
is everybody in the kebab business mentally challenged?

Most are muslims, so yes.

>Veeky Forums masturbates over jiro claiming how it takes decades to make a perfect mash of rice with slice of raw fish over it
>when some guy says the same thing about literally harder thing to do than to make sushi, everyone loses their shit

Veeky Forums everyone

are you german by any chance? your immigrants will be largely turks. britain is different, theirs are from former colonies. london is overrun with pakis

>kebab
>literally harder thing to do than to make sushi
full retard

we are all paki here in hammersmith, i am also a paki. some syrian guys wanted to open a kebab place here three years ago and one of them got killed because of it because no place for all of us, you understand? lol.

>london is overrun with pakis
Who told you that?
London has more Indians than Pakis but kebab shops are still the domain of Turks.

American memes are just way off the mark.

WHY IS KEBAB SO DELICIOUS

it tastes good but it will make you fat in no time if you eat only kebab, boss

Call Turks pakis for to lulz
If all white people are "white" then all brown are pakis in my book it's fun to say

>more Indians than Pakis
same shit, who cares

INDEED. I WATCH MY KEBAB INTAKE.

I will like to travel to Europe but it seems to be overruled by brown immigrants that are hostile, arrogant, and not very smart.

What are some safe areas in England for an America tourist?

>it seems to be overruled by brown immigrants that are hostile, arrogant, and not very smart.

>What are some safe areas in England for an America tourist?
Everywhere to be honest.
Unless you want to hang around in dodgy areas in major cities you are fine.

Britain is far whiter than America, the South West being the whitest - you may get told about Scotland or Northern Ireland but they are rather depressed areas, poor and desolate.

is kebab something i could make at home pretty easily?

no

a few years ago i applied to an online dating chat and there i met a girl or at least i think it was a girl who was pretending to be someone else. she said she was from York and she wanted to meet so i bought a ticket to York to meet her and when i came here she didn't respond to my messages anymore and just disappeared. when i was at York for 2 days searching for her, i didn't see a single muslim person so you might want to go to York, boss.

Why is kebab always so dry and tough? Why are greek gyros so much better? Why are greeks better than turkroaches?
Yes.

>Why are greeks better than turkroaches
because greeks aren't muslims

Kebab Chef here. I can't believe what I am reading. Do you guys actually think being a kebab chef isn't a skill worthy of praise?

I am sure you worship Sushi Chefs. Now, let us look at the skills needed to make kebab vs the skill needed to make Sushi.

>Cooking
A sushi chef does not have to cook anything. He just picks off pieces of fish meat. A kebab chef must often cook 3 or 4 gigantic pieces of meat at once without overcooking or undercooking even slightly. This is an almost impossible task. Put a Sushi chef in charge of a single rotating doner and he will need his 'nori seaweed' as a blanket to console his crying eyes

>Folding
A sushi chef has to fold seaweed which is naturally pliable. Meanwhile a kebab chef must fold pita bread which can break at the slightest touch. This mastery of lightness is why kebab chefs are famed for their sexual prowess in towns like Rotherham and Rochdale.

>Cutting
A kebab chef must use a gigantic knife with enough precision to ensure equal serving for every customer. A sushi chef is often awarded a razor sharp knife and must cut off pink slabs of salmon which are hidden beneath rice anyway. Nobody notices a sushi chef if he fails.

>Menu Design
Sushi menus are easy to design. You can use anime style fish and Japanese art. Turkey is not famed for its art so a Kebab menu is harder to create. I have often spent 40 hours merely photoshopping a chicken burger to look good for my menu.

>Customer Service
Average customer in a sushi restaurant: 'Arigoto, *bows*, I wish to sample some sushi, allow me to wait patiently'
Average customer in a Kebab shop 'OI YOU FOCKIN PAKI CUNT GIVE ME MY FOCKIN KEBAB NAAAH SO I CAN WALK 10 FEET AND SPILL HALF OF IT ON ME BIRDS TIGHT TITS'


Pic related its me.

>Nori sheets are naturally pliable

Alright have a (You)

A Kebab "chef" doesn't fold shit. He just stuffs meet and veggies in a breadbag and drowns all of it in sauce. Every 15 year old turkish immigrants cousin can learn that in 2 days.

t. german

here's a (you) for your effort in typing all that shit out

Boy that is a long ass bait.

Where is a good place to get breakfast near Euston?

Also this is why kebab chefs are renowned for their "sexual prowess"

Cooking: Are you really this delusional All of your cooking is done by a fucking rotisserie. Literally all you have to do is set a timer. In addition sushi is not the only thing thats fucking served. Theres tempura, cooked fish (which is way easier to overcook than a doner)

Folding: Like I said, nori is way more fragile then pita bread, you're delusional if you think otherwise.
Cutting:
The cut of a sushi roll is the most noticable thing. If you fuck it up it basically ruins the roll you moron.

Menu design:
>ANIME FISH

Holy jesus you just have never been to a sushi place before.

>Customer service:

Not your fault that your trash food attracts trash people.

>kebab chef
>kebab chef
>kebab chef

Your doing gods work mate, love me some kebab

YOU HAVE TO GO BACK

Sushi Chef here. I can't believe what i'm reading. Do you guys actually think being a Sushi chef isn't a skill worthy of praise?

I am sure you worship Kebab Chefs. Now, let us look at the skills needed to make Sushi vs the skill needed to make Kebab.

>cooking
A Kebab chef does not have to "cook" anything. He just slaps 3 or 4 rotating cylinders of dog, horse, and goat meat onto skewers and let them cook all at once, never overcooking or undercooking because they run on automatic timers and burners. A trained monkey could do this. Put a Sushi Chef in charge of four rotating doner's and he'll need his nori seaweed as a blanket because he'll fall the fuck to sleep.

A Sushi Chef has to carefully slice off peices of the freshest and most delicate fish meat with a knife folded so many times the slightest twitch of his hand will send it careening through the fish, his arm, and bury it into the wall. There is a reason only the finest samurai sword makers can make knives for sushi chefs. Furthermore, often the seafood arrives alive and must be subdued, quickly and without pain so its riger mortis cannot spoil the flavor. Until you have had a knife fight with an ahi tuna that has escaped it's tank, don't talk to me about cooking.

>folding
A kebab chef has to fold pita bread which is naturally pliable. Meanwhile a sushi chef must fold seaweed which can break at the slightest touch and will embed razor sharp splinters in your skin. This mastery of lightness is why Sushi Chefs are famed for their sexual prowess in towns like Tokyo and Okinawa, and your Mom's bedroom.

hammersmith? i could probably take a 20 minute bus ride to where you are, but there would be too many ye olde kebabbe shoppes to choose from

underrated funpost

cont

>cutting
A kebab chef has to use a giant piece of rusted scrap to hack off a chunk of gristly meat for every customer. A Sushi chef must often earn (with the blood of his enemies) a razor sharp knife that could kill him if he's not careful, and must carefully slice off pink slabs of poisonous salmon and hide them beneath rice, which is also poisonous. Nobody notices a sushi chef if he fails because he is dead.


>menu design
Kebab menus are easy to design. Just throw a bunch of cryllic paki arabscript onto a board with a picture of disgusting meatloaf so the drunk retards know what to point at. Japan is known for it's art, as well as the vengefulness of the spirits of those artists as well as their clans. If you improperly represent or befoul the clipart of a japanese artist, the angry ghost of his ancestors may come to curse your home, or he may send ninjas to murder you in your sleep. I have often spent 400 hours merely photoshopping a nori roll to look good for my menu and prevent vengeance killings.

>customer service
Average customer in a kebab shop: 'OI YOU FOCKIN PAKI CUNT GIVE ME MY FOCKIN KEBAB NAAAH SO I CAN WALK 10 FEET AND SPILL HALF OF IT ON ME BIRDS TIGHT TITS'
Average customer in a sushi restaraunt: 'Like OMG look at all this asian stuff do you have any like, california rolls? Anyway this better be perfect or i'll take pictures and put them on facebook and claim you have like, rancid meat.'

pic related it's me.

be mad that your people aren't as smart as the Japanese and made it into shit street food instead of a high class cuisine

Based nip.

>tfw sushi was originally just shit street food
>tfw they managed to meme it into haute cuisine somehow

daily reminder that 98% of all muslim immigrants are sunniggers

Turkish people are more intelligent than Japanese people on average. This is why

>Japanese have to stay in school 10 hours a day. Turks don't
>Japanese need a strict bushido code because they are too stupid to interpret a guiding text like Muslim Turks do with the Koran
>Japanese are too stupid to increase birth rates
>Japanese are too stupid to join the EU meanwhile Turkey will join this year

it's called sandniggers, idiot

>Japanes less intelligent then arabs.

That's literally not true.

Average IQ for SE asians is like 107, for arabs it's 97

Japanese people are more intelligent than turkish people on average. This is why

>Japanese people have to stay in school 10 hours a day. Turks don't
>Japanese follow a strict bushido code instead of a self contradictory guiding text written by a pedophile like Muslim Turks do with the Koran
>Japanese are intelligent enough they can make robots to do everything for them leading to a lower birthrate and less overpopulation
>Japanese are too smart to join the EU meanwhile Turkey will join this year after disposing of all the refugee corpses they 'handled' for Europe

it's because the average Japanese immigrant has higher goals than "I'll just sell some food lol"

Good god, both your countries IQ's are virtually Neanderthal level.

nah, fucker. It's called sunniggers as in SUNNI muslims. Try going to /sg/ for once and educate yourself beyond /pol/s memes

the fuck is /sg/

The funny thing is that neanderthals were probably smarter than homo sapiens actually.

>Turkish people are more intelligent than Japanese people
BAHAHAHA
>EU
what the fuck are you even doing right now?
>turkey joining the EU
are you drunk?

>underrated
you can fuck right off

...

When are you removing yourself?

+1 Karadzic to you

...

Listen you guys, for all the shitposting in here
>some of which is legit funny
working in a kebab shop or stand is legitimate professional cooking. You have to master the primary skill of a professional chef, which is knowing exactly what you are supposed to be doing at any given and not doing anything lest you fuck everyone else up and the hate your guts.

It's the equivalent of working ina diner, a sub shop, fish and chips, or yes, sushi. it's not haute cuisine, but a good doner cook would be able to slide right into basically any kitchen and learn the ropes in a few days if they're at least 1-2 grades above Filipino-tier in human evolution

>working at a McD is legitimate professional cooking. You have to master the primary skill of a professional chef, which is knowing exactly what you are supposed to be doing at any given and not doing anything lest you fuck everyone else up and the hate your guts.
>It's the equivalent of working ina diner, a sub shop, fish and chips, or yes, sushi. it's not haute cuisine, but a good McD cook would be able to slide right into basically any kitchen and learn the ropes in a few days if they're at least 1-2 grades above Paki-tier in human evolution

McDolan's line experience is worth mentioning if you are trying to get into a real kitchen. You'll still start in the dish pit but it shows you understand the concept of assembly line food production and can do what you're told

...

He said it was more complicated than being a surgeon m80

he LITERALLY never have said that

see >it takes 6-7 years to finish med school and become a doctor and i'd say it takes even more to become a good kebab chef.

He was probably trolling (can never tell with dumb pakis), but it was indeed said.

he said it lasts longer, not that it's more complicated

Kebab shops buy those elephant legs frozen, it does not take 7+ years to stick one on a spit and carve it.

it takes long to MASTER it, you mong. anyone could make a shitty kebab in a day or two. you need to work there more than 10 years to master it. just as is with sushi.

I do not believe it takes 10 years to master sushi either, kebab shop workers have the same level of skill as a McDonalds fry cook.

just quit posting. saying that it takes longer to fix a kebab than to become a surgeon speaks more for the inability of mudslimes to learns even the simplest tasks than anything else you could have come up with

jiro literally said it takes a lifetime to master making sushi, why would it be any different with kebab

Jiro is a crazy old bastard, his son hates being trapped there.

>a few years ago i applied to an online dating chat and there i met a girl or at least i think it was a girl who was pretending to be someone else. she said she was from York and she wanted to meet so i bought a ticket to York to meet her and when i came here she didn't respond to my messages anymore and just disappeared. when i was at York for 2 days searching for her, i didn't see a single muslim person so you might want to go to York, boss.
why the fuck did noone pick up on this

that's like comparing a nasa engineer to a bicycle mechanic

Because it is more obvious bait than what OP the samurai kebab slicer MD posted.

I doubt people care that much about kebab.

Also, there seem to be lots of factors that apply to sushi that don't exist with kebab. The knife skills. The need for manual dexterity to form the rice ball properly and quickly. The ability to identify the right kind of meat/fish and how to prepare it properly, and so on. Not to mention the sushi chef needs to learn that for dozens of different species whereas the kebab chef only needs to learn it for one.

>Also, there seem to be lots of factors that apply to sushi that don't exist with kebab. The knife skills

you what nigga? the knife skills are so much more important with kebab than with the sushi. just fuck off m8.

>knife skills are so much more important with kebab than with the sushi
you're not even trying anymore

are you fucking retarded? seriously, are you?

with sushi you literally have to slice only one thin piece of fish while with kebab you're using machete to rince meat off of a stick.

tell me, oh master chef, which one is harder? once again, are you fucking retarded?

>with sushi you literally have to slice only one thin piece of fish while with kebab you're using machete to rince meat off of a stick
i want to see some retarded sandnigger try to prepare some fugu then. let's see what takes more skills

donexe.com/

Fuck off, you lot even use electric slicers with set thickness now.

that's no real kebab. everyone will say you that. if i walk into a kebab restaurant with guy not slicing meat with machete, i would spit into floor and leave. everyone will tell you that. no good kebab restaurant with a star uses that. it is frowned upon.

fugu is not sushi. only nigiri is sushi.

>fugu is not sushi. only nigiri is sushi.
get out already

And most chefs will spit on the floor and leave if they see you preparing the majority of food with a fucking machete. Would you trust a surgeon to operate on you with a machete?

Golden rule of kebabs (in the UK)

If you can see distinct layers of meat on the doner skewer, you're probably alright.

If the doner is one solid mass of grey material, avoid.
Another sure-fire sign of a good kebab place is if they're cooking over actual charcoals.

hes taking the piss obviously.

My golden rule (in Poland) is that if the place isn't run by Turks, avoid. Polish owners are more likely to cheap out on the meat, both in the "serve you less meat than vegetables" way and the "buy the cheapest meat possible and never throw old meat into the trash".

Same rule for chinese/vietnamese food. White guy behind the counter = walk away.

why are all english kebab overpriced and shit...

no really I hope you never make a kebab again

The largest kebab here is £7 here with salad and sauces, not too expensive considering it is a days worth of food.

Are you a retard?

Kebab shops in London are all ran by turks

>Turks
>Arabs
Not the same thing you spastic

7 quid is a rip off

For a days worth of food?