This man is watching you cook your most recent meal. How badly do you fuck up?

360 is full circle, you probably should go 180. Now hate me.

I hate you for being so new

I'm not sure if he was trolling me with that response or if he is just a total newfag

meh

OK. I'd ask him how come he isn't talented enough to get that third star.

I am absolutely certain that Marcus Wareing has murdered at least a couple of people. You can just imagine some new line cook making an off colour joke about a dish, the whole kitchen going stone cold silent as he just stares at him, then Tito doesn't show up for work the next morning.

He would fuck my shit up.
I made chicken alfredo last night and not only did I cut myself chopping mushrooms for the first time ever, I also dumped far more oregano into the pan than I intended to, due to accidentally using the wide mouth side of the seasoning bottle, instead of the smaller side.
I also put half a handful of linguini into a pot of water before the stove eye was even on.

I swear, I never fuck up that bad usually.

I was exhausted from work in my defense, but it tasted good at least.

He'd be like "why did you cook that meat well-done?" And I'd be like "Because it's 1/4 inch thick chicken fried cube steak. I'm aiming for a decent crust on both sides more than I'm aiming for medium fucking rare ya cunt". And he'd be like "Are you pairing that with Nacho Cheese Doritos?" and I'd be like "Yes you can't have any."

>not using fresh herbs

I don't know what's the fuck he is. I am about to make some frozen pizza and crack open a can of diet mountain dew.

really badly

i'm working on recipe involving yogurt and cornmeal but i'm not quite there yet

>he fell for the fresh oregano meme

...

Oh boy
>drunk last night
>raided my nearly empty pantry
>chicken broth from powdered bullion
>add a can of beans
>you like m-my bean soup?

I think you're on to something, OP, reminds me of how when I worked there, I would go pass out hot breadsticks, but I'd also get really good at being able to hold multiple breadsticks behind my arm, so I could sneak into the bathroom and eat them. I'd also sneak into the back and grab slices of cheesecake to eat in the bathroom too. I was never quite good at making sandwiches though. I didn't know what pesto was and it looked gross, so I never knew that when I was spreading it on sandwiches like peanut butter, it was way too much. Another thing that was too much was this one time, this black guy and his mom's car broke down in our parking lot and he was out there screaming and kicking the back window multiple times until it broke. I think he was frustrated. I had a crush on Jenny, but she was a year older than me, and I had heard that she was having sex with one of the managers later, so that kind of sucked. She had really pretty eyes. Another person that had really pretty eyes was a guy we called Baby Huey, but he was very fat and tall and was eventually fired for grazing the breasts of female workers when pretending to reach for utensils or ingredients.

Seen her latest hairstyle?

Why is he wearing eye makeup?

That's actually pretty good, like the side character in a post apocalyptic film that endears themselves to the audience then self sacrifices for the protagonist.

he'd probably fire me on the spot.

last thing i did was show the prep guy how to do the lunch special on garde manger.
showed him a bag of shitty kale and said 'last day for the special and this for sure needs to go away tonight, you're gonna have to pick through it if you want to find any usable' when i should have just thrown the bag away right there and said 'no kale, 86 lunch special'.

might actually get fired for that one! oh well. if i get nailed, i get nailed.

>this man doesn't know what the moon walk is
jesus you inbred