How do you behave at a formal dinner? Thanksgiving is coming up and I don't want to embarrass myself in front of my gf's family.
We never really cooked at home when I was growing up, it was always takeout straight from the container in front of the TV. IDK if we even had cutlery.
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>IDK if we even had cutlery.
How can you not remember if you had forks and knives or not?
I never saw any except those plastic spork things.
Oh. In that case, hold your fork in one hand and your knife in the other. Don't start eating until everyone is seated and they say grace. (If that's something they do) Keep a napkin in your lap. If anything is out of reach, ask someone to pass it rather than reaching over other people's plates. Don't talk with your mouth full. Don't eat too fast. If you need to get up during the meal, excuse yourself first. Don't drink more than your hosts. Keep your elbows off the table and your hands above it while eating. Most families won't expect more than basic table manners. They'll probably be expecting you to be somewhat awkward and uncomfortable, as long as you're not being completely uncouth.
-A napkin is to be tucked into your collar, putting it in your lap is what poor people do
-Eat your food as quickly as possible to show your host how delicious you think it is
-Give the appearance that you're sophisticated by randomly selecting a newly opened wine and declaring that it's corked before quickly empty the bottle into the kitchen sink or nearest house plant to disguise the subterfuge
-Place your elbows widely apart so they're touching those adjacent to you to establish dominance
-Snap your fingers and point first at your host then at your plate or glass if you require more food or drink respectively
-Before dessert is served, it is customary to blow out any candles on the table and sing 'Happy Birthday America' which is sung to the tune of The Stars and Stripes Forever (use Google if you're unsure of the exact lyrics, bear in mind there are regional variations)
-Bring your own dinner roll and butter which you have monogrammed before baking (use the round spoon to melt the butter over a candle before pouring it on your roll)
-Tip your host at least 20%
-Check ahead of time whether the meal is BYOC (bring your own cheese)
what do you mean how do you behave?
>tv dinner
ok so I'm going to assume you're white, i thought white people were "civilized".
it's not hard to figure out how to act at a formal dinner.
ffs look it up on youtube if you have to.
I civilized your sister last night.
Punch the largest male in the home to death to establish dominance.
Eat the can called "cranberry" straight from the jar.
Shatter the largest window and escape through it with the television.
Yuo r mein gr8est Allie Jamal.
If there is a bowl of water next to your plate, make sure you drink from it between courses. It cleanses your palate and stops you from getting too drunk.
The Americans are awake.
You should have posted this thread a few hours beforehand, Americans can not get into table manners and always make fools fools of themselves.
>always make fools fools of themselves.
Now who's the fuccen fool?? LMAO
The purpose of manners is to enforce class distinctions. You will be unable to hide the fact that you're from a lower social class than your gf. You can charm them into liking you, but you can't fake manners.
>Don't drink more than your hosts
Never have been able to conquer that one.
>The purpose of manners is to enforce class distinctions.
Explain, with examples. I was always taught that manners exist to allow people of different backgrounds to be comfortable around each other, as the rules can be learned and are the same for everyone.
>Now who's the fuccen fool?? LMAO
You just don't get it do you Cleetus?
>the rules can be learned and are the same for everyone.
Wow. That's a middle class fantasy. The rules are very different for different classes, and the higher up you go the more it's about knowing your place among the betters and lessers - who has to show deference and who doesn't.
That is how manners are in America. We actually have a huge aversion to overt class distinction, mostly because we have never had a landed nobility.
I how manners are everywhere else.
My advice is moderation in all things while at the table, eat moderate portions, don't talk too much, do not engage in any controversial topic, even if asked, and generally do more listening than talking.
Silverware is used from outside in, red wine - red meat, white wine - white meat, asparagus is eaten with the fingers, do not reach over another diner for anything, complement all dishes and eat everything on your plate, even if it sucks.
I've dined with royalty. It's the same as dining anywhere else. Put your napkin on your lap, chew with your mouth closed, alternate who you talk to on each side between courses. I've never felt the need to show or accept deference.
GENERALLY SPEAKING, I SPEAK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG STICK.
>I've dined with royalty. It's the same as dining anywhere else.
A good host sees to it their guests are comfortable. But you have to admit things are different at a meal with servers than one without. And even with servers there's a difference between those hired for the occasion and regular house staff.
I occasionally drop silverware on purpose just to make the help pick it up. Yes, I am an asshole, but for some reason the irrational rush of joy at someone debasing themselves for my ease just is too good to pass up.
You have NEVER dined with Royalty.
I ca tell from your attitude that you would never actually do what you say you did.
>the help
lmao you've never eaten at anything more classy than a burger king
>dining with Royalty
Sir, if i wished to dine with inbreds I'd go to West Virgina. Royalty is just a vague european affectation that means nothing outside the minds of strange sycophants like you.
Different posters
>Different posters
Fair enough.
I suppose my comment was more directed at
Obama fucked up big time there, does he not have advisers?
After he proposed a toast to the Queen that should have been the end of the matter!
The band was obviously queued to start after the toast was made, why he babbled on afterwards is beyond me.
Somebody fucked up.
>asparagus is eaten with the fingers
What?
Asparagus is a finger food, unless it's on your plate drizzled in sauce or so limp and squishy that it would soil your hands.
yep, it's one of the few foods that it is legitimately meant to be eaten with the fingers even in the most formal of settings.
Not if it's sauced.
It is if I'M sauced, if you catch my meaning heh heh heh
>white
i got the impression he was a non-white who grew up in the ghetto if thats the kind of shit he dealt with
Or a white who grew up in some ghetto, black or white-trash.
I keep my fork and knife in the left and right hand respectively, and do not switch. (In Yurop.)
I've read here that in the US, you have to switch between cutting and lifting your food to your mouth, in order to eat slower and not like a glutton. The second part makes sense in my definition of table manners, but I can't tell if the first is a troll or not.
Will Americans judge you for eating European style? Like it's an affectation or something? It's just that it seems much easier.
Switching hands is sometimes referred to as the American style, but not everyone eats like that. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen anyone do that. You will see people hold the knife in their left hand and fork in their right, though.
For some reason, people on this site seem to think if something is called "American" that means everything and everyone in the entire United States must conform to it.
Some will. Though the practice of switching hands is dying out . It was initially an archaic form of dining picked up from the French that by the time was adopted was already abandoned by the source if I remember right.
>This
Sometimes as a joke familys will put it on the kitchen floor next to some nibbles to confuse and test the new family member's character so just pick them up off the floor, put them in front of you and daintily sip from the bowl whilst you absent-mindedly eat some tasty nibbles. That should impress them.
>In fact, I don't think I've ever seen anyone do that.
Apparently I do it? And did not even realize until this thread??
I also consistently get made fun of for drinking with my pinkie finger out. I guess my mom beating manners into me worked, but I will put my fucking elbows on the god damn table.