Ok user, tell us your restaurant idea and we'll tell you if we're willing to invest

it's a 12-seater communal eating spot with an open kitchen and a wicked vinyl record selection that the patrons can play as they wish. we will sell blanched kale at $22 a plate that we source from our rooftop garden for a fraction of a penny per bushel and you can only get a seat if you follow our moderately attractive hostess on instagram.

Sounds great, will you also sell over priced cocktails that come in mason jars?

just as sure as the coffee is fair-trade and the kale is served on rough-hewn stoneware!

Simpson's did it! Simpson's did it!

it's an anime pizza place where we make pizza and show anime, kawaii

First serious answer in this entire thread.
I would mix exotic spices from African and Indian cuisine with American BBQ. Fusion is all the rage this decade, but I think even the sushi slurping hipster whores are getting tired of nothing but Asian food. I would hire expert pitmasters from around the world to team up and come up with new ways to do BBQ. If it works out, the possibility to turn it into a chain is real. Flyover loves BBQ, coastal cunts love pretentiousness. This could work anywhere.

I was thinking of a Tepanyaki style restaurant, but with breakfast food. You have a chef in front of you and he cooks eggs, bacon and pancakes of all shapes and forms in stylish ways.

It's seasonal european dishes, no fusion, quality in season produce, reasonable portions, full bar and a night menu of more fun and not necessarily european tapas type dishes but still seasonal. Absolutely NO fusion, ever.

Each meal order requires the customer to choose a character to role play as to 'enhance' the experience. For example a hardworking factory worker taking his well earned break, opening his lunch box (prepared by his loving wife).

McDonalds, but you can only get breakfast items in the daytime and vice versa. The happy meals are adult themed and have mini-vibrators and tiny porno mags instead of toys.

Barbecue chains rarely expand beyond regional status because people in the US have strong preferences about how they like their barbecue. When you try to introduce a new style to people in another region, it's usually not successful. They talked about this on either Restaurant Startup or The Profit, I can't remember which.

>What is street food?

A restaurant that only serves breakfast cereal

Two-hour AYCE breakfast buffet open 24 hours near either a uni/college campus or in a truck stop area.

But ayce buffets make money on old people and women that can't eat much. College bros and truckers can inhale 3 pounds of food.

I might be talking out my ass though

Been done. It was called Cereality. It was a shitty idea then and it's a shitty idea now. It started in '03, expanded rapidly in '04 then collapsed in on itself when people woke up to the notion that they were paying $5 for a bowl of Count Chocula when a box of the stuff costs only $1.77 when on sale ($3 regular price).

The one run by the Hipster Douchecunt Twins in London seems to be doing okay, though, I hear.

Hence the two-hour limit. Was thinking of having the buffet itself in a room separate from the seating area accessible by a hotel key-card like entry active for only 130 minutes (give ya an extra ten cuz I'm nice) from the moment of activation. You walk to the room. Swipe. Go in. Get food. Swipe. Get out. Sit. Eat. Repeat.

I would go to this, especially if the staff dressed up and played along and there were photo ops with cute waitresses. Sounds like a good place for a birthday party.

Some other ideas of characters: a death row inmate having his last meal, high school cafeteria lunch as a freshman, a made man having a good time with his colleagues a la Goodfellas.

It's in a location that's growing and has few resteraunts yet.

You had better watch that fucking door.

build a wall?

Atrocities: a not so family restaurant
We serve pretty normal food but it's all themed on horrible events from history/recent history.
Examples include:
The Bonnie & Clyde Burger: Two brutally tenderized patties on Texas toast with lots of Swiss cheese
Waco Waldorf Salad: for that signature Atrocity's twist... we toast the nuts!
The Hindenburger: Bursting with flavor, served up slathered in our "Flaming Hot" sauce... oh the humanity!
Titanic King Crap: pulled fresh from the freezing waters of the Atlantic, comes with an iceberg wedge salad
Curt Cobain Cob Salad: served with our signature buckshot dressing
Jonestown Kool-aid: by the pitcher, enough for the whole table, so good it might be the last drink you ever have!
... and the like
It will look a lot like a Red Robin.

You walk into a room alone, there is a table with 4 seats, it's decorated in a very homely fashion
Suddenly an oldish woman shows up, she is dressed as your mother, she greets you and asks you to take a seat
Next the second actor shows up, he plays your father but the father you always wanted not the drunk fuck who died before you could ever make peace with each other
Last person to show up is a very beautiful young woman, she will be playing that girl you never got out of your head but her role is also your girlfriend
Your mom will serve her famous dinner and you will all enjoy a family dinner together, you will get to take one picture wich you will take home with you and you never get to come back

It's like a pizzeria but with historical figures

NGL i'd eat there

All you can drink bar that only serves top shelf alcohol. Patrons pay $30-$40 to cover the cost of drinks (beer,wine, and liquor). The food will range from made to order gourmet burgers, chicken wings(multiple sauce options), fresh cut fries(multiple seasoning options), and a weekly rotating special ie. Monday is Pizza, Tuesday is Steak, Wednesday is Pasta,Thursday is Tacos(authentic ones served with onion,cilantro, and lime), Friday is 1/2 priced burgers, Saturday is Philly Cheesesteaks, Sunday is 1/2 price entry.

I would call it 4est

Giblets only restaurant

Tapas, but with various interpretations of open-faced sandwiches

>It's all deconstructed too

>getting tired of nothing but hipster food

I don't know about other countries but US Diner style and barbeque style stuff is all the rage atm in Australia. Im fucking sick of it, burgers a shit

Name: Offal

Concept: "traditional" "peasant" style meals made out of the 2nd cuts of meat, i.e. liver, tounge, intestines, etc., served in a simple, classic way.

Atmosphere: Typical hipster "rustic", mason jars for glasses, old liquor bottles for water carafes, unfinished wood/masonry walls, wood burning stove for heat

Location: recently gentrified neighborhood, preferably in a college town or similar

The scam: Pay little for the cuts of shit meat, stew them in sauces all night, serve on "artisanal" flat bread with a side of "fresh co-op veggies" tossed in a few tablespoons of white vinegar. Charge double for PBR and local beers, start raking in the cash.

The Basement

The restaurant is divided up into small, single-occupancy booths. Each one is fully enclosed, and contains a chair, a desk, and a computer terminal. There's an IRC channel with a single other user, . You can ask for the menu and order using the bot, food is delivered via dumb waiter. The bot compliments you when you return an empty plate.

...

nice meme but at Disney World there is a restaurant where the dining room looks like a 50's kitchen and the waitresses all play the role of your mom (don't let you order dessert until you clean you plate, etc)

kek.

Because this would actually work. I saw a PBS cooking show a few months ago that raved about some britfag restaurant that served only offal. Charging a small fortune for a hog spleen simmered in some sauce. It was supposed to be "renaissance" britfag food, but it would work in the US hipster market too.

You're most definitely not fired, user.

>kawaii
where has the time gone...

>Titanic King Crap
I laughed

I've an idea for your restaurant.
Chicken à la OJ: all white meat, battered and sliced up.
>it's tendies, so you can get all the neetbux

>not recognizing Rustle

would you believe someone already thought of that

That's actually fascinating and explains why the BBQ place that came into town a couple years ago failed miserably when it's lackluster replacement is wildly successful.

So mcds for 3rd shift workers.

not that user but
>mini-vibrators and tiny porno mags
is actually pretty accurate from my experience of working third shift. nearly everyone on the shift was a pervert. it was great.

Does the waitress playing your mom give you a sneaky hand job under the table?

I worked at two different places like that around high school.

>A restaurant that looks like a traditional Indian restaurant, but they have a reservation-only special where they recreate that gross-out scene from Tenple of Doom as accurately as they can. Would have to hire non-Indian brown people considering how the Indians would probably get offended and leave every time someone ordered it.
Obviously most of the stuff is either impossible to get by FDA standards or because it's endangered (or a fictional insect), so there'd be a lot of substitutes.
I can't possibly imagine this type of restaurant ever going under.

>beautiful, lavish meals prepared by ex-Michelin star restaurant chefs under the impression we serve then through a beautiful dining area, but in reality we lock that place off after they enter to work for the day and start funneling in customers through the fast-food lobby attached to the other side.

You would be out of business in a few weeks, you'd go broke so damn fast, all you can drink, top shelf, heh, plus food.

>top shelf alcohol with garbage tier food
Worst idea I've ever seen

A sandwich place with a wide variety of regional ingredients (French cheeses and cured meats, Mediterranean and middle-eastern style meats and veggies). Would serve kebabs, falafel, Savoie specialties, different kinds of pâtés and terrines ... Would have 3 weekly sandwiches chosen online by poll. Heavy use of social media for exposure.

An indie/retro pizza joint with pizza and games upstairs and a rape dungeon downstairs

How about Cambrian Cuisine.
People would dine on stuff that would gave been available around 500 Million years ago, before land animals arrived. That means Seaweed, Mushrooms, Ferns, Moss, Lichen, Jellyfish and other Cnidaria, Sea Slugs, Echinodermata like Sea Urchins and Cucumbers. No fish, grains, tubers, land insects or animals. Would be pretty expensive but you would dine like the mighty Cthulhu.

Authentic Korean "meat-centric" restaurant where patrons cook their own food on a grill installed in the center of each table.

Need $200K to install the ventilation pipes that suck up smoke from just above each grill.

all the meat is served bleu. no matter what. no refunds.

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY

I call it The Haploid Shack.
You can start with a sunny side up egg, continue with a big selection of caviars, continue with Sea Urchin roe and end with that Japanese dish called Shirako which is basically coagulated Fish Sperm. Single-chromosome cuisine.

I'd go here

A place where you can eat lifeforms infected by a parasite. Like Corn Smut, or Caterpillar Fungus. The latter is actually a caterpillar mummified by a fungus, picrelated, pretty expensive Tibetan product.

> he doesn't know king Jack and is yet to lose the plot

If only faggot janitors would stop banning ja/ck/ threads this would be an actual coming board again

Public lighting is nice and useful but we destroyed the ambiance of the night. To begin with my restaurant gives you the right night experience using. The decoration is inspired by medieval and colonial times and uses lot of wood and plants. I built the desks and chairs myself, I have the last word in any aspect of the decoration or the food. We serve mostly simple food and some of my creations. My creations are intended to raise the name of my city. The food is simple and cheap, it's just a hobby I don't want a single cent from my work.
Also it's an underground restaurant and I dont need your money.

>30-40 for an open bar of top shelf liquor
Wew, lad. You ever bought a top shelf liquor? I've had rum that was 14 dollars an ounce.

SAM HAMMICHES

>my gf and bro are both named Sam, we sell ham sandwiches, ONLY ham sandwiches, Koshers and Halals need not apply

>pic related

Fuck off back to /tv/, retard.

So like a cafeteria buffet? My college has a place like that, just an entrance fee and all you can eat buffet. Sometimes the food is pretty good. Other times it's just alright or bad.

It's honestly one of the better on-campus places simply because it's all you can eat.

Ramen spot. I squat in an alley with a large pot of ever-simmering broth on a propane stove, coat hangers with drying noodles behind me. A little grill from which I offer grilled squid and home cured pork belly. A cooler with soft boiled eggs and juliened scalions. I am a powerfully built ginger with a big beard, and I speak fluent japanese. I would squat there yelling at passersby in japanese.

Would you be offended when they call you a weeaboo faggot and tell you to get out?

Latin Buffet.

A nutcracker bar, where people from all round stop by to crack some of our freshly grown nuts (planters peanuts) try our new nutty flavors of chipotle, sweet honey, and bbq

Just stick with the medieval theme desu. Serve meat pies and turkey legs, and other authentic period food. Make the waitresses dress like sexy wenches and call the patrons Milord.

This all sounds a little too real.

>Cambrian
>land plants

This. You probably want to try for at least the Devonian Diner if you want to include plants.

>Devonian Diner
That also gives you fish, right? I think land based animals were starting to become a thing then as well, so you could serve grilled newts or something to represent early tetrapods.

Shit I've had whyskey that was 30 euros a glass. Even basic high quality stuff like Mc Callans or Laphroaig will usually cost a minimum of 40 euros a bottle

Kek

an actual good idea

Cozy eatery that sells pastries and flour based dishes. We'll market ourselves as "gluten-free free" to cash in on people that are sick and tired of gluten free hippies. Later on we will do other similar campaigns that try to appeal to cynicism!

>$30-$40 to cover the cost of drinks
>top shelf alcohol

You either won't serve top shelf alcohol or you'll be bankrupt in a month.

>kawaii
stopped reading there

Would get half of japan to visit your country

These have to be popular enough now by 2016 that states outside of California have multiple Korean BBQs in each town.... right?

If not, you poor poor bastards.

Hi newfriend

Utterly wrong but nice try, weeb.
Gookmoot is going clamp down on you fags, the japs hate you and your kind.

Its your normal typical greasy spoon chinese resturant
but its run by white people instead of asians
and I'll make sure I only hire the most pretentious of hipsters who will talk about how much they love traditional American style chinese food and how nobody nowaday is making it correctly

but in reality, its all from the same distributor that all the other chinese resturant get their food from

Too late desu

Wings & Thighs
Hooters but with good food

this was mostly true 10 years ago but not now

it better be some good fucking ham user, i can see myself as a regular

like the rainforest cafe, but even more. The whole place looks like a jungle, and even has a river going through it.
Waitresses in loincloths show you to a patch of dirt. All the utensils are crude stone facsimiles and the food is stuff like bowls of berries and hunks of cloned mammoth meat.
You can get a discount on your food by stripping naked and getting in character as a caveman.
Sex is allowed.

Raman shop in the UK.

I'm half Japanese, worked in a Raman place for 8 months in Japan. Think I could adapt it to the UK being half English.

My marketing plan is Hipsters.

This stopped being true over a decade ago.