A girl attacks you with a blunt object

A girl attacks you with a blunt object.
How do you react ?
Also reccomend core exercises

this is Veeky Forums, not Veeky Forums

I would run away and call a police officer because I'm an adult. It's 2016, misogyny is so out of date.

I try to play it off as cool as possible.

crack my knucles this biotch gonan get some

one, two, triple cross counter

I'm not a fucking weakling so I'd just restrain her.

And just do body weight stuff.

Disarm her then shit on her purse.

Stop her and tell her to aim for my balls

Teleport behind and whisper into her ear, 'a wicked attempt, fair maiden, but thy hand not fault mine own life!' then peck a little kiss on her neck before teleporting away with a heart chuckle

Sensible adult, enjoys Flaubert, the Modernists, plenty of literary eras

Cool kid who reads pomo to be cool

POWER FOR POWER
FLEX YOUR MUSCLES

Kafka

Pynchon fan

I guess I would have to tie her up, for my own safety.

Then I would search her thoroughly for any concealed secondary weapons. Can't be too careful.

depending on how hard I might go down + cry or take said blunt object and hit her with it at least twice

>skipping mine

bitch

it's a stretch, but thanks for keeping things literature relevant.

I noticed that too, it was rude.

gene wolfe fan not worth mentioning

Austen fan

Henry Miller and Anais Nin

Neoclassical poets like alexander Pope

Knock her out, cut her sinews, and drag her on the back of my chariot

Planks, Leg Raises, Bicycle Kicks, Crunches

Mildly freak out, stammer out "why are you hitting me," chuckle nervously at the situation until I realize no one is helping me, choke down tears until I can escape and then release them till they fall into my clenched teeth while I hit my head with my fists for being so pathetic, again.

This is actually just a quote from a lost Bret Easto Ellison novella

Pessoa

>participate in shitpost bait thread
>get interesting recommendation

Thanks my man! This isn't ironic sincerity, it's sincere!

Call her crazy repeatedly while backing away (possibly in circles).

Take pan off her and shove it up her vagina then shout "How you like that ya pansexual"

I suplex her through the drywall and look for a folding chair.

I'd take a big poopie on the droopie . xx haha

haves any of u taken a big pookie of the dookie? haha

haha i poopie off the doope

thanks for reading

Pull out ccw and shoot her.

I'd attack her with my blunt object.

slap her
bitch

Also this counts as a core exercise.

great post

I try to restraint her, avoid her attacks, convince her to stop. If all three fails, I call the police.

>Arrive 14 minutes later and shoot you
Good job!

I'm not an American though. Hopefully my country cops aren't like that.

>I'm assuming I'm being attacked in the middle of the street by some girl I don't know
>Initially, I'd probably just grab my head and back the fuck up while shouting.
>"OW!"
>"What the fuck?"
>"What the fuck is your problem, lady?"
>At this point, I'd probably just grab the pan/stick/book/magazine from her and try to get her to calm the fuck down
>"Jesus, hold her down" [to any random passerby]
>If she kept going nuts, I'd probably say something to the effect of--
>"JESUS fucking Christ"
>"If I finally managed to subdue her for good, I'd probably just shake my head and say something like--
>"Fucking psycho, man"
>And then I'd top it all off with a final--
>"Jesus fuck..."

Core exercises:
SKWATZ. DIDDYLIFT. BENCH. BI'S.

GOTTA EAT BIG TO GET BIG, C'MON.

very good
very good

Shove the object up my ass and walk away