>*A portly fellow in a flame shirt waddles to the counter of a Starbucks* >"What would you like sir?" >*The atheist squints around the coffee bar, his hands at the sides of his khaki shorts like he had two holsters. With one hand he expertly pulls out his wallet and with the other, he brings the tip of his hat down before placing his order* >"Coffee. Black." >*A hush falls over the patrons and staff. Women gush in their panties as whispers from men can't believe what's transpiring. The barista looks like he's about to faint, his grip on the cup furiously shaking as he slides it over the counter to our hero. If this order is taking place in the ghetto, several black people go DAAAAAAAAAAAMN* >*The cheetoh avenger slaps down a sticky five and a quarter with his hamhock fist before mumbling to no one that they should "keep the change", knowing he's a far more euphoric human being than people that put sugar or milk in their coffee*
Don't worry dauntless fans of the sodium-hearted avenger, he'll be back in next weeks tantalizing issue, "I'll Have EVERYTHING With Bacon..."
Charles White
I like black, but a little tiny bit of cream in coffee is objectively way better than black. Better mouthfeel, better taste
Leo Cruz
> mouthfeel
Texture.
Brayden Green
God doesn't exist and you're just scared of dying.
Owen Butler
Body
Anthony Cooper
He chose pasta over everything else on the menu.
Eli Hernandez
>mouthfeel I love it
Christian Jones
>Body mouthfeel
William Gonzalez
Really made me think
Alexander Murphy
You guys all sound like a bunch of sluts.
Brandon Peterson
If this is oc, then I applaud you.
Landon Gomez
>*A portly fellow in a flame shirt waddles to the bar of a local T.G.I. Fridays* >"Would you like to have a seat, sir?" >The atheist squints around the restaurant, his hands moving in the pockets of his khaki cargo shorts as if he's fondling some pasta. With one hand he expertly pulls out his '24k' gold money clip, and with the other, he retrieves his ID to show to the bartender. >"Scotch, Islay. Neat." >The terrible music in the restaurant stops; patrons look up from their variously flavored margaritas and happy hour beers in astonishment at this towering giant of manliness. A few drunk sorority girls are still laughing while they eat boneless "wings" until they catch notice of his staunch visage and are hushed. >The bartender informs the informed gentleman that their only Scotch is Johnny Walker Red >Baja Blast Boy will have none of that plebian swill; as he slams down a tuppence upon the bar, he exclaims "Good day!" and twirls his cape whilst promptly exiting the establishment to frequent the Taco Bell next door for the first time. Perchance their chalupas may soothe his foodlust... for now.
Zachary Hernandez
What's wrong with black coffee? In my country when you ask for a coffee you get a black coffee and it's mostly what everyone get. You have to ask for a "noisette" to get a cream coffee
Camden Martin
Fucking christ.
Kevin James
You're completely missing the point of the meme/ greentext.
Nathaniel Murphy
>"I'll have a flat white" >"sir, you want comet ping pong, just down the road"
Samuel Turner
...
Luke Ross
top kek
Isaac Johnson
>texture
Watafakfam
Elijah Martin
nice 1 m8
Wyatt Butler
The point being that op doesn't like black coffee?
Evan Nelson
It's old pasta. The point is it's making fun of people that drink certain things, exclusively in public because they think it gives them an aura of sophistication.
Robert Gonzalez
kek
Nicholas Walker
I love black coffee. Just because you're a pussy who needs an extra sweet white mocha, flat and with whipped cream doesn't mean you have to be so salty.