OK, so I'm trying to become Veeky Forums. I learned to read at six. (Unusually late here)...

OK, so I'm trying to become Veeky Forums. I learned to read at six. (Unusually late here), after that I read a book a week, or more for the next 6 years, until I hit puberty, and got internet access. In the last year, I've read no books the full way through. (I've started literally hundreds, but rarely make it to even the second chapter). I was raised on shit like Enid Blyton, Harry Potter, and Darren Shan. While I don't regret reading any of those, this, combined with the fact that in the last five years I've read less than ten books the whole way through. (L'Etranger by Albert Camus, What If? by Randall Munroe, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, TFIOS by John Green are the only ones that I can remember). I apologise for reading TFIOS. In hindsight, that was uber-plebian of me. I refuse to apologise for enjoying Hitchhiker's though. It's funny, and that's clearly all that it's trying to be.
Anyway, the end result of all this is that when I tried to read Sartre's Nausea recently, I couldn't understand what I was reading. Not because it dealt with complex themes or anything, it's just that the sentence structure, and vocabulary alone was enough to render me completely incapable of absorbing the meaning of the words before me.
My question is, do any of you have any fucking idea what I'm supposed to do in order to improve my basic reading ability enough that I can move onto anything even remotely highbrow? And don't say "Start with the Greeks." I fucking tried that. I had the exact same problem with Homer as I did with Sartre, and found myself rereading the same line over, and over again trying to figure out what the fuck I just read. I just couldn't. What the fuck is wrong with me? I tried reading Pseudo-Apollodorus's Bibliotecha, and the lists of ancestors went on for so long that my eyes glazed over, I went lightheaded, and I began to feel queazy, and couldn't focus for shit, because everytime that I realised this was happening, I would try to go back to the page, and the exact same thing would repeat, and it's not just the Bibliotequa this happens with, it's a lot of shit. I tried forgoing the myth, and skipping straight to Plato, and I couldn't keep track of who was speaking, or when, or what the point that they were trying to get across was.

WHAT CAN I READ IN ORDER TO BE ABLE TO READ PROPERLY AGAIN? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! I'm not asking how to develop good taste or greater insight here, I just want to be able to read a book from start to finish without zoning out, and staring at the walls for thirty minutes and the end of each paragraph that I actual finish, while the majority of them, I just stare at in desperation because the words on the page don't translate into meaning in my brain. Help.

You are just too stupid.

Go back to your anime and 'vidya'

>lumping in anime and vidya with socially maladjusted ideologues of pure resentment

rude, dude

I haven't played any videogames in over two years, (except Crash Bandicoot, and I only play that while listening to audiobooks), I've watched a grand total of two anime the whole way through in my life, and I fucking detest /r9k/, and have since I found out that it existed.

you don't start with the greeks fresh off harry potter or whatever. Read the russians, some victorian novels, early 20th c, some memes, Pinecone, DFW, some Kierkegaard/Nietzsche you don't understand, etc.

Then start with the greeks

Check the sticky

GET A FUCKING DICTIONARY.
If you have problems keeping track of characters, eh. Get a notebook and write down important names or whatever? visual tracking?

Look for the recommended literature link at the top of the page. Start with the starter kit and work your way up from there.

Pick books that challenge you a little bit every time, and try Sartre again in ten years.

Adding to this, reading is a cumulative exercise. Spend time understanding that one paragraph. Once you understand that paragraph, you will understand it faster each time something similar comes up. Down the line you will only be looking up retarded words that aren't footnoted like what a "Verst" is when reading the russians.

>WHAT CAN I READ

…Joyce: "Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man", "Dubliners."
…Ezra Pound: "ABC of Reading"
…Melville: "Bartleby"
…William Blake: "The Marriage of Heaven and Hell"

>IN ORDER

1.'Marriage of Heaven and Hell'
2. 'ABC of Reading'
3. 'Bartleby'
4. 'A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man'

>TO BE ABLE TO READ PROPERLY AGAIN?

Read in segments and fragments. Chunks. Chapter division already does half the work for you. Best to read by sunlight, by a window. Morning, after waking up. Turn your cellphone, computer and or television diet down a bit also to enjoy the experience most.

Read some Kundera slowly. Also, stop apologizing for the shit you read, read whatever the fuck you want. Read Twilight if you fucking want, why would you care about what anyone says?

Your problem seems to be that you're currently a pleb, but are already possessed of an elitist mindset. You don't need to apologise for reading TFIOS, or for reading anything. Those are exactly the kind of books you need to be reading right now. Read things that appeal to you. Even if the elitists that populate the world of literary critique say it's trashy, or you are not the target demographic, if the premise and writing style appeal to you, read it. Children's and YA novels are great for this. They're tightly written in a structure that purposefully prompts you to carry on reading, similar to a movie or comic. They're literally made to condition you to want to read for prolonged periods of time. After doing this for a while, you will regain the mentality needed for absorbing information at a continuous and steady rate, and can move on to more high-brow works.

sorry mane, you're fucked. I'm the same way, hadn't read a full book through since highschool, and I turned 25 this year. I picked up with the republic no problem.

Try John Jakes' North & South trilogy or any Gary Jennings. Steinbeck maybe.

jesus christ, the lad here says that he can't read a book mostly due to lack of concentration and most of you call him a pleb.

OP, just read get a list of books that might be of interest to you and get going. Almost all Veeky Forums core authors have brief works. Say, 100-200 pages. Pick a contemporary author. Read philosophers that write aphorisms (Nietszche, Cioran, etc).

Set a modest goal, like reading 40 pages a day or something.

>Nietzche AFTER greeks
dont listen to him. Dont know about his other works but Jenseits von gut und bose is full of philiosophical bantz you will not get without ie greeks knowledge

A good short story collection can help. Short stories will usually have fewer characters, more focused themes, and with a collection it could introduce you to a variety of writing styles.

Get an interest in reading again
I would say start with childrens books and easy reads
A Series of Unfortunate Events is wildly interesting for plenty of reasons, while the author has a habit of using heavy words and then explaining what it means in the context.
If you liked a hitchhikers guide then try reading the rest of the books in that series as well
I'm sure other anons can think of more easy recommendations.

I became an avid reader like three months ago and I can't stop. I stopped watching tv and I don't spend much time on Veeky Forums anymore.

Here's how I did it.

-Remember the average person reads like zero books a year. If you read 5 pages a day, you are 5 pages above the average person

-Don't force yourself to read. Commit to read 5 pages a day. I swear after three days you'll feel like reading more and after a month or so you should be reading 50-100 pages a day for pleasure

-Read various books at the same time. When I grab a difficult book or one that makes me sleepy I grab another and switch. This should refresh your head. Keep them thematically different. I read economics and fiction.

-It isn't a race. Reading slowly won't make you sleepy that fast. Try to acknowledge what books are for you to read fast and which aren't.

-Buy the physical copies. When you get the books from your own money you'll feel the need to read them to avoid the feel of wasting your money.

-Start with books highly discussed here so you feel motivated to discuss.

i love those shoes

you're alright

Start with children classics ( Alice in Wonderland, Wind in the Willows, Anne of Green Gables, etc.)

really cool advices