What does it feel like to have a Ph.D in Pure Mathematics?

Do you physically feel smarter than before? What do you do on a daily basis?

> PhD in math
> Hardy had MA bc PhDs weren't given out then
> Hardy felt like shit when he died
> Maybe if he had a PhD ...

300k starting

Hardy was a manlet?

I wake up in the morning and the first thing I remember is that I have my goddamn doctorate in mathematics, this results in an immediate rush of endorphins and testosterone which will last for the rest of the day. I then get to work writing down the proofs to the theorems that I solved in my head last night. After that I fuck my 10/10 wife while thinking about my research. I then leave without eating breakfast since I no longer require sustenance. Next follows morning lectures gracing plebs with some invaluable insight into my mind and its firm grasp on the most important field of study in human history. The rest of the I spend developing various mathematical structures on blackboards, the results of which will applied to curing all cancers and building thermodynamically efficient cold fusion reactors. As the day winds down I ponder my surreal existence, I have to dig up my degree to remind myself of the reality that I do in fact have a PhD in mathematics. Finally I fall asleep holding my doctorate and 300k salary slip in my arms.

And then I do it all again.

I-is this for real?

>And then I wake up.

FTFY

I wake up in the morning and the first thing I remember is that I have my goddamn undergraduate degree in gender studies and social justice, this results in an immediate drop in confidence and self esteem which will last the rest of the day. I then get to work writing witty tweets and empathizing with the struggles of black transgender women. After that I let a black man fuck my 1/10 wife while thinking about lyrics for the new national anthem. I then leave after eating a big breakfast since my large frame requires a lot of energy to sustain. Next follows morning facebook posting gracing cisgendered white males with some invaluable insight into my mind and its firm grasp of institutionalized microaggressions. The rest of the day I spend developing various theories of social justice, which will result in the downfall of all of western civilization and complete abject moral poverty. As the day winds down I ponder my pathetic existence, I have to dig up my degree to remind myself o the reality that I really did drop out half way through an undergraduate degree in gender studies and social justice because teachers kept calling me the wrong pronouns and causing ptsd episodes. Finally I fall asleep after overdosing on xanax holding my high school diploma and my last crumpled 5 dollar bill with a picture of harriet tubman on it.

And then I do it all again.

>physically feel
>smarter

pick one

kekakeeno

Each morning, after waking from my deep slumber, I work myself into an erotic frenzy by thoroughly contemplating the profound teachings of Neil DeGrasse Tyson, and upon reaching the apotheosis of prurient ecstasy, I exultantly spray my high IQ man juice onto the recipient of my choosing (usually paper or a blackboard, but in certain joyful instances, the backside of a willing and enlightened female specimen) in the design of whatever formula or expression i have deemed to be of suitable aesthetic and intellectual merit as to memorialize for the benefit of posterity. If you will indulge the witty wordplay, I have filled whole sheafs (ha!) of divinely privileged paper with my prolific achievements and musings in the (alas, vain, I fear) hope that future philosophers will, with the benefit of centuries of intervening human advancement, be able to properly appreciate the full extent and significance of my brilliance.

I wake up in the morning and the first thing I remember is that I have my goddamn degree in shitposting and testicular cancer, this results in an immediate rush of memes and cancer which will last for the rest of the day. I then get to reddit writing down all the shitposts that i have stolen from tumbler. After that I go to Veeky Forums and fuck my 3/10 gay boyfriend while thinking about my threads in /b/ and all the anons who called me a fag. I then get banned by moot for being too faggot. Next follows a prolonged period of multiple deep layers of unhealthy crippling depression. The rest of the day I spend drawing various sex toys and rubber dicks in MS paint and masturbate to them, the results of which applied can be used to spread all cancers and building a super efficient cum sucking machine. As the day winds down I ponder my faggotery existence, I have to dig up my asshole to remind myself of the reality that I do in fact have a AIDS and HIV. Finally I fall asleep holding my dick and and 3 original stolen memes in my hands to be prepared for the next day.

And then I do it all again.

>sheafs (ha!)
loled

underrated post

bump

>result will be applied
pleb

i fucking kekked

Great!

>pure math
>results of which applied

Graph theory used to be considered "pure math".

Came on my ex-wife's back once and then started writing some proofs on her back using my cum.

Are you assuming that equality leads to destruction of civilization?

>contemplating the profound teachings of Neil DeGrasse Tyson
holy keks, my nigger

>ex-wife

I know those divorced mathematician feels. Plus underrated thread.

Why do all academics divorce at an old age? Chasing too much student poon all the time?

I wake up in the morning and remember that I have a PhD in philosophy-the subject that gave the fucking PhD it's "Ph"-and lord it over plebs who have to grind through exacting calculations while I can pull stuff out of my ass, publish it, and get tenure. Savor the fact that analytic philosophy can claim shit like Russell's Principia Mathematica-a core piece of metamathematics and birth of modern logic notation. While poor STEM fags are busy slaving in cubicles I'm busy soaking up the rays and pondering the proper way to say "Tractatus".

>While poor STEM fags are busy slaving in cubicles

nah, we're all making 300k starting at our easy as fuck programming jobs while you struggle to feed your family on an academic salary and never publish anything of worth to humanity.

What do you think happens after he falls asleep at the end, dumbass?

I wake up in the morning and the first thing I remember is I cannot remember anything because I crammed 30000 hours memorizing 204710319e+13 bioprocesses and 10389373281937e+11 biomolecules to understand how a cell stored energy, this results in an immidiate rush of cortisol and my StPD triggering again which will last for the entire day. I then get to work in the lab, preparing my reagents and flexing my muscles I have built after pipetting. I then fuck my 10/10 right hand while thinking about how everything is worthless and we will all die in some way shape or form. I then leave without eating breakfast because I forgot it. Next follows some depressing morning lectures where an old man talks about even more bioprocesses and molecules, and barely grasping the most important field in human history. The rest of the day I spend in the lab, fucking up nearly all of the experiments, with all tests coming up as negative, which will apply to my already bad case of depression. As the day winds up, I ponder my fucked up existence, coming to the point that everything is worthless. Finally, but not finally, I cannot sleep, hallucinating and thinking about my 50k starting.

And then I do it all over again.

Can confirm. PhD in nuclear physics here. Only making 299k though because it's not math. The math PhD overlords I often work with are amazing manifestations of humanity, however. Their cocks are often so easily measurable due to their immense size and girth that we're able to calibrate hadronic detector systems by using aforementioned perfectly formed peni as pendulums from which we derive absolute time.

Fucking math PhD's man.

This thread is pretty goat

Thank you for the new fetish.

A pack of losers that cannot deal with dynamic divergences let alone pratical.

I only have a master's degree in biology so I wouldn't know
>tfw brainlet

>I wake up in the morning and the first thing I remember is that I have my goddamn degree in shitposting and testicular cancer

Kek'd, caught me by surprise

>flexing my muscles I have built after pipetting
Kek

>by using aforementioned perfectly formed peni as pendulums from which we derive absolute time
What a goat phd mathfags!

I only know shit-tiers ones...