How do I find a literary bf?

damn, that painting
post more masochistic sluts

I don't really have a collection of them but I can google what female suicides I remember from Shakespeare plays.

and lastly Ophelia ofc

good night sweet ladies

>repression
Wew, lad.

he's right you know

sleep tight user

met a literary cutie at half priced books.
>user, you buying "as I lay dying" for school?
>nope, wanted to get it just to read.
>let me tell you, it's a great book.
>Great, I loved "the sound and the fury"
>I'm sure you'll like this too

was love at first sight. made sure to grab an application to work there before I left.

Go to your local Gay Bar with your Kindle

>you will never share an apartment with a bookworm qt
>you will never share a bookshelf with a bookworm qt
>you will never dfwpost on Veeky Forums together
>you will never do a stupid bookclub "read together" thing together
>you will never go to the bookstore together
>you will never sneak attack hug him from behind while he's reading
>he will never do that to you
>his foot will never knock over a stack while you playfully cuddle
>you will never have passionate philosophical discussions followed by passionate fugging
>you will never form associations between meaningful passages and memories of him (he was showering when i read that, he was making tacos when i finished that, he smiled when i read him that, etc)
>you will never tell each other that everything's alright when you have existential crises
>you will never find enough meaning in another that you could write about it
>you will never find meaning in another
>you will never find meaning

sorry for sperging out but death pierce me fuck

I couldn't find a Veeky Forums boyfriend but at least I found a Veeky Forums one. He's wonderful but I wish we shared more book interests.

>virgina woolf-style?

na babe. go out like sappho.

How do I find a lit gf who can't find a lit bf?

pick me senpai

best damn advice I've ever seen on Veeky Forums I did not know oprah was lurking on Veeky Forums

I find the idea of a girl for whom reading is more than an expression of her public image too intimidating a thought.

No thank you.

how did the dyke die?

i know a guy
but first: how big your tits

>every e/lit/ist man ever

I just want to be intimidated by a qt who's a deeper and wider reader than me.

>be thin female
>???
>profit

describe her user, describe her to us for our masturbatory pleasures

It's not intimidation as much as a competition in which you switch roles to teach and learn and fuck

>black rimmed glasses
>short
>early-mid twenties
>not chubby, has a bit of weight to her
>shorter light brown hair with blue highlights
>black pearl and hoop ear rings
>quiet voice

hard to do her justice, but memory is a bit fuzzy since it was about two weeks since I saw her.

please faggots kill yourselves. I hope every day is torture for you. I hope you know when you walk down the street everyone hates you and is judging you and is laughing at you. you will never be taken seriously. unless of course you have some gay profession. have fun always being a lesser human being. just know being a faggot is a mental illness and you can always go for treatment.

>hey someone's buying a book I know about
>better talk to them about it!
Dear God am I glad to live in a socially anxious culture so I don't have to deal with this crap.

Why even live?

>tfw you never will sleep in the arms of a cute gay guy, while he reads your favourite book

>tfw you will never feel strangely empowered by reading great books by dead homophobes coughnabokovcough

>tfw too stupid

OP, are you the girl that 'doesn't actually read but shitsposts all the same'? if you've been lurking on Veeky Forums you already know what to do:

*pretend to be lit.
*hang out where the non-autistic lit male population is (near universities, second hand bookstores)
*set a profile on dating sites posing as a "le awkward but nice"
*stalk lit males on goodreads

If you manage to be "qt", "not a slut" and not intellectually threatening to the male at the same time, maybe you'll succeed.

Best of luck.

(Also, I have advice if you're ugly, not very intelligent and unable to read a single book. But I'm not going to share that information here)

t. a woman of resources.

One day, oh fair maiden, you certainly will
Now, stop speaking that you'll thyself kill
When the time is right, a good, gentle man you'll meet
But until then, please post a picture of your lovely feet

how do you faggots live each day. like how the fuck do you get through the day. back in grade 9 like 2001 I remember my favorite hardcore band wearing tight pants. not skin tight girls pants like emo/scene bands but like Levis 511. not super tight but tighter than the exco ecko Sean Jean shit everyone wore back then. this was before kids ever thought to wear girls pants. I showed my dad a picture and I said I want pants like that. he laughed and said that shit was popular when he was a teen. what do you know he's still got some at my grandparents house. score! I got myself some tighter Levis. the morning I decide to wear them I'm walking to school. a car is passing by "NICE PANTS YOU FUCKING FAGGOTTTTT". :( uh oh this isn't going well. I feel like shit. I wanna go home and change. fuck that can't be late for school. walk up to school everyone's outside. people are staring and laughing as I pass by. it only gets worse when I go inside. hear people joking about my tight pants. fuck this sucks. never again. then a few years later that kinda shit is in style and I see niggers in tight pants. maybe I'll give it another shot.

how do you faggots walk around knowing everyone else thinks less of you and makes fun of you. wouldn't it be easier to just pretend to be straight.

>has to say 'not chubby'

she's a land whale isnt she kek

face it qts don't read cause they don't need to. Reading is only done by the uggos to compensate

t.uggo

Kek

it hurts to be called a faggot doesn't it?

can't get a qt bf if nobody knows your gay

kill me

no I'm very attractive actually which is why I don't need to read

>spot qt in the philosophy section
>start conversation
>glasses, skinny bordering on skelly, soft hair and voice, totally adorable
>at one point reaches up high on a shelf
>shirt pulls up a lil
>hip bone prominent, skin victorianly white and smooth, cute undies peeking out from shorts
>muh heart and dick
>snapped out of it when he drops five huge tomes into my arms
>"here, i think you'll like these"
>uhh, thanks
>reaches up for more
>see smol wiry muscles in his arms
>comment on them, "from lifting all these right?"
>giggles
>muh HEART
>adds a few more to the stack, heavier than the first load
>as I struggle he starts talking about hermeneutics
>apparently Grondin is a complete quack
>also make a crack about wanting to grond on him but i'm out of breath
>asks me what I think about Descartes
>try to make a crack about giving the dick but my arms are giving out
>look down at stack
>book on top is in German
>manage to get out "i can only read English"
>he frowns
>"user, don't you know translations are for plebs?"
>try to shrug and also drop everything
>he pouts, hands on hips
>"have you even read being and time, user?"
>shake head
>"...being and nothingness?"
>shake head
>get shoved
>books crush chest
>last words are complimenting his shoes and my phone number
>last thing i see is him stepping over the spaghetti dribbling out of my pocket, shaking his head

but you can't get a good job if everyone knows your gay. everytime I call people in for an interview and they turn out gay I just kinda fuck the dog on the interview because I know I'll never hire them.

why would they tell you if they're gay or not

I can tell if they act gay. if they are gay and act straight. congratulations I can't tell! and now you have a chance of working for me.

some tales say she jumped off a cliff

Why would anyone want to work for you if you fuck a dog during the interview?

Congrats on being an insecure manchild!

hey its not me I'm worried about. it's my iassociates. it makes people uncomfortable to work with flamboyant homos. as much as we like to think we are all accepting of homosexuality the truth is we aren't. not enough anyway. especially in my profession.

In this alternate reality where you are an employer, is it their behaviour/manner or just the fact that they're gay that makes you dismiss them?

behavior and manner. so if your looking for a job. act straight.

>he
FUCK

>especially in my profession.

Which is?

> as much as we like to think we are all accepting of homosexuality the truth is we aren't.

Yeah, but that's bc of our own dumb insecurities.

You can be my muse but only if you fart in my face.

>you will NEVER live on a small quad of old stone buildings with leaded windows
>you will NEVER steer a gondola as your qt RP-accented gf giggles and tells you not to crash
>you will NEVER take a walk along the river with your qt privately educated girlfriend on a frosty February
>you will NEVER attend a formal ball with your qt Hermione-esque gf who blushes when she sees your reaction to the dress she's wearing
>you will NEVER have an hour-long discussion with a jaded, witty professor who finds you "utterly intriguing" and leave his office to find your qt gf pretending to read an advertisement pinned to his noticeboard
>you will NEVER ride old-fashioned bicycles across cobblestone streets beside your qt gf and laugh as you speed down a hill with your legs outstretched
>you will NEVER share a cheap bottle of red wine with your qt Home Counties gf while listening to Cocteau Twins in her dorm with candles providing the only light
>you will NEVER arrive a little late to a raucous, controversial debate at the Union and sneak in with your qt gf, ducking and offering whispered apologies as you make your way to some spare seats
>you will literally, unironically NEVER take a slow walk beside your qt vaguely artistocratic gf through the fallen leaves of a quiet park and make her smile as she clutches her coursebooks across her chest
>you will NEVER sit in a small concert theatre and watch your qt gf playing viola and experience a overwhelming feeling of pure love for the girl you one day hope to marry
>you will NEVER run through heavy rain to your qt elite gf's dorm and have her hug your drenched coat and hair as you provide whispered encouragement about her exam the following day
>you will NEVER stand on the lighted porch of your home watching your parents through the frosted glass as they approach to open the door and feel your bookish gf squeeze your hand a little tighter
>you will NEVER read Cat on a Hot Tin Roof in bed with your refined intelligent gf and try to stop yourself from laughing as she adopts different and exaggerated accents for the characters she's voicing
>you will NEVER sit at the dinner table in your qt posh gf's home and have her mother express her genuine shock at the fact you're from a poor background and have her father respect you a little more for turning out the way you have despite that
>you will NEVER sit up in bed still half-asleep and slowly unwrap one of the gift's your qt attentive gf got you for your birthday and have her stand with her hands behind her back with her lips pursed in anticipation of your response to the books she has spent time researching in the hope they will be ones you enjoy

I'm an eastern regional sales manager. I'm in charge of the retail store managers and their business.

not sure if kek or cry. Is this the infamous post-irony?

Can I get a gf if I mostly read Stephen King and historical fiction?

That's probably an advantage over reading literary fiction. You'll have something to talk about and she won't think you're pretentious.

You are all faggots. Truly the most feminine thread in a while.

>not enough anyway
It's too much as is lad, you are annoying as fuck no one wants to know what goes in and out of your anus

I cringed desu family member.

There is literally nothing more masculine than two men having sex.

My issue is not with that, but with this sentimental twaddle of yours and those sappy dreams you are all having.

so what this guy is saying is that the glass ceiling effect fucks over us too? employers see us as women? I don't get it. I never thought my orientation would effect my ability to get a job?

There is literally nothing wrong with sentimentality or sappiness. You've clearly had your sensitivity blunted by a callous and materialistic society. I long for the days wherein men were able to attend elegant balls and meet cute, pale, blushing girls who giggled as she discussed you with her sisters and looked over at you only to look away with her heart pounding when you returned her gaze. Now men are forced to degrade such innocent and pure romantic ambitions and instead sit coldly sifting through a tide of constructed personalities on their mobile phones (a Semitic invention, by the way) in the hope that they may be able to be the third fellow that week to invest his girth into her decaying loins. An absolutely disgusting state of affairs all round.

>employers see us as women?
Fags, not women. It's like women, but without all the interesting parts attached.
>I never thought my orientation would effect my ability to get a job?
Did you consider trying not to be flamboyant? I'm sure the voice intonation and the hand movements are not absolutely necessary.

>invest his girth into her decaying loins
*tips*

>I long for the days wherein men were able to attend elegant balls

...

>There is literally nothing wrong with sentimentality
>proceeds to write about literally everything wrong with sentimentality

It's because of the fear of becoming like you that we have to resort to cynicism and irony instead of being true to our sensitivities.

Excessive sensitivity just becomes edginess after a point.

You should kill yourself desu

asl?

you'd rather hook up with a virgin that acts like a 12 year old girl than a grown woman that loves to fuck?

It would depend on how emotionally stunted the grown woman was tbqh

one that's well adjusted to the adult world?

2/10

Nice bait.

Virgin detected. Kek only you robots want a shy virgin gf because you know you can't handle a grown mature woman who wants to fuck, like that user said.

>b-but purity! used roastie goods!

Enjoy looking for purity while other men fuck all the girls.

Seriously, a pedo hates gay folks? What a lousy hypocrite. He must've understood what it felt like to be senselessly hated for something he couldn't control his feelings on.

Mirin' your digits.

This. If a girl tells you she's a virgin that just means she's already lying to you.

yeah, you got me. when i said "not Chubby" i meant this.

24/m/Philadelphia

Also like what I've read of Lenin.

yes

Chain your foot to a chest full of rocks with a picture of your dream girl on top and then drown yourself in the ocean.

good a goodreads?

>tfw no farting bf

>tfw no academically successful bf in a relationship in which you strengthen each other as individuals and form a power couple

just end it for me

>tfw no academically successful gf in a relationship in which you strengthen each other as individuals and form a power couple
I think I might pretend to be gay to make this work.
I was talking to a qt for 3 months but she's clearly fucking stupid and I'm probably going to cut her off because it's not going anywhere.

gross tattoos. what a waste

Here's another waste:
instagram.com/emilysteaparty/?hl=en

>I read Shakespeare XDD
>I love Stravinsky XDDD
>I'm not just a roastie whore XDDDD

>you will NEVER have an hour-long discussion with a jaded, witty professor who finds you "utterly intriguing" and leave his office to find your qt gf pretending to read an advertisement pinned to his noticeboard

I literally can't express how much better my life has been since I attended Oxford. I went to a state school and gradually became the stereotypical moody, withdrawn sensitive type who both despises the quality of his immediate culture and feels a weird pride for having been raised in a sort of anti-intellectual and brutal environment. I was all set to take my Russell Group humanities BA and spend my life working as an anonymous, insecure wageslave forever thankful of being offered a job and forever too insecure to pursue my creative ambitions. The chip on my shoulder had become something of a wedge, and I felt too out of place regardless of my environment, too resentful and bitter to even attempt to make it in the artistic world. Then I finally applied for Oxford and got in to study an English MA, with reassurance that should I work hard enough a career in academia or within one of Oxford's affiliated companies would be almost guaranteed. I turned up as apprehensive as usual, and the first few days were spent regretting my decision and desperately feigning a cultured personality. But then I realized that the people there were just interesting and that the snobbery and exclusivity I had anticipated was just a myth borne out of my working class upbringing. I've since graduated, having spend the year dining in grand halls with groups of interesting people, dating several girls (one of whom, a petite Russian whose family traces back to the aristocracy, is now my fiancee). I work four days a week at a publishing company and earn £38k a year. I regularly meet up with friends from my college and visit Oxford for nights out and for meetings with my professors. The Martin Eden-esque novel I have been writing for two years has been selected for publication at a major British publishing house and, honestly, I could not have imagined a few years ago how great life could be. I come on Veeky Forums and see how pathetic you all are and just shake my head and chuckle. If I saw you guys on the street I would of course throw you a penny or discuss Bukowski or whatever "realist" writers you enjoy, but ultimately I would be able to tell within ten seconds if you're an Oxbridge grad and would dismiss you as a potential source of good company if you are not. I never thought I'd know what it was like to be objectively better than somebody else, for the value of my existence to be superior to the value of a stranger's, but now I do and I've never been happier. People are awed by power and prestige. All I need to do is mention the university I attended (if only for a year) and they immediately begin to hunch and look at their feet because they know they are in the presence of greatness.

Lel I can't tell if this is pasta or not.

It's not.