I am officially the fattest I have ever been in my life and far fatter than I ever wanted to be

this is always my go to salad when im having a party

Forget salad, it's boring. Just eat less, you fatass.

Depends on what you call a salad.

Salad leafs lose almost all their volume once they come in contact with stomach acid. And they make up the bulk of most classic salads.

Of course, if you add a shitload of carrots/paprika or whatever it might help satiate but it basically ruins the concept of most salads.

>Salad leafs
Lettuce. You mean lettuce. Get into English, faggot

>it basically ruins the concept of most salads.
Stop confusing lettuce with salads. You don't even need lettuce in a salad to make it a salad you absolute retard.

if you eat enough of anything you get full

bamp

Does this board look like Veeky Forums to you?

Not true

I'm the fattest I have ever been too!

32 years old, 5'10, 153 pounds. I don't even feel bad about it.

Citation needed

I'm only on "a pint of real mayonnaise" and I feel dirty for watching...

Salads won't make you thin. Consuming less calories than you burn will.

Salads are a good way of cutting cals by making one of your three meals of the day into a 200 calorie dish the size of a small pony.

Only in America could someone mix those ingredients and call it a salad

They lose their volume but at the same time they release gas which fills up your stomach. It's why competitive eaters binge on bags of salad to stretch out their stomach before competition. If you eat salad you will feel full.

Salad can be vastly more than 200 calories depending on what is in it and how it is dressed.

what the fuck is this?
ive been to america and this kind of stuff never came up? where do you go to experience authentic american cuisine since ive clearly been duped.

I thought Kay's good cooking was the worst crime against food I'd seen, I was wrong the yanks have her beat fat paws down

Here's my signature salad

>Shredded iceberg lettuce
>Half a pound of crumbled bacon
>Three hard boiled eggs, sliced
>Fried chicken, cubed
>Shredded or cubed cheese
>Cover it in a layer of caesar or ranch dressing and mix well

Red leaf lettuce
Endive
Cubed chicken
Walnuts
Blueberries
Crumbled Feta
Vinaigrette

>where do you go to experience authentic american cuisine

Furr's, Luby's, Golden Corral, Cracker Barrel, Piccadilly.

>stop eating junk food, exercise, and eat less in general
>???
>profit

Clearly the solution is to eat a bit of greens with your lifestyle

Just mix a jar of may with condensed milk and a cup of sugar then eat it, enjoy that authentic American flavour

Straight up greek salad you fat mess. Tomatoes, cucumbers, oregano, red wine vinegar, good evoo, green peppers, imported greek feta cheese and if you're good some kalamata olives. You can add a green leafy lettuce or maybe spinach to change it around a bit, they both go especially if you add a good imported greek feta to the mix.

Chef's Salad is true Americana you savage.

In uni i remember hearing that fructose doesn't trigger the same satiety mechanism that glucose does

>Imported greek feta

Sorry Greek boy, but Beyaz Peynir is superior to feta.

Don't eat salad for every meal, you'll fuck up
Go keto and basically follow this -

>Buy fucking tonnes of eggs from a farm for cheap
>almost every meal contains eggs
>add extra veggies to everything to bulk it up especially green
>swap rice for grated cauliflower (just microwave it for 5 mins)
>keep a spice rack and season well
>drink only water, black tea/coffee, green tea

Thats about 90% of it done. During the week ill eat like this and the protein keeps you full.

Some weekends I eat like a retard and drink but everything is under control.

Eventually you'll look at stuff like pizza and realise it's a 'treat' not something to order every night because you can't be fucked to cook eggs for 10 mins instead.

If you want it filling try going asian salads

> thai beef salad
>Viet Chicken salad

We make these at work, litterally can only go a side salad bowl of it before i'm filled up. Majority of it is beansprouts and wombok but the meat sits with ya for a bit.

Did she died?

I'm at my biggest too user, about 200kg, but I also lift big things. Still have a fucking huge gut though. I don't bother with dressing but others here have made the point already so no dramas.

Beetroot, lettuce, carrot, tomato, small amount of cheese, couple of eggs, cucumber, alfalfa, 5 bean mix and snow peas. Tastes bloody good I tell ya.

Idiot.

>200kg
>440lb
>I also lift big things

Yeah, your fucking bodymass

jesus christ.

they consume more calories than they burn on a daily basis for several years. it's really not that complicated.