I want to be the guy who is always eating but I don't want to be fat? What should I do...

I want to be the guy who is always eating but I don't want to be fat? What should I do. I want it to be my thing like oh yeah he's always eating that guy? he's eating all the time

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Work out when no one's watching you eat

throw up every time you go to the bathroom

What kind of brain damage do you have OP?

Youll need to work out atleast 800-1500 calories per day. By lifting weights, running, easy exercises like situps/etc, and biking, pretty much every single day.

The regular human diet is around 2000-2500calories depending on how amerifat you are. So if you want to always be eating youd probably be eating like 3500-4000calories per day.

To not get fat youd have to work out seriously hard. And all your snacking and eating would need to be some seriously balanced shit. Not alot of sugars. Veggies. Meats. Grains. Etc.

In reality, you might actually get in great shape with a diet like this. But youre more likely going to end up sick and fat or dead.

Eat stuff like greek yogurt, other low cal stuff

If you ate nothing but greek yogurt and you need 2000 cal, and the packages are 200cal each, that should more than cover your admittedly unusual social desire.

eat celery

it has negative calories because you use more to digest it than are in it

Dirt cookies. Zero calorie, strengthens your immune system over time, and you can tell people it's an act of solidarity with the less fortunate of the world.

That's pretty fuckin funny

The ultimate hipster food. And then after the hipsters have it for a year or so, the cookies can get on Walmart's shelves and become a meme food for us all.

>What kind of brain damage do you have OP?
He was watching the Oceans movies where Brad Pitt is always eating. Or 2F2F.

eat things that don't have a lot of calories
work out a lot
frequently vomit
get crohns

Easy, just have prime genes. I don't get fat, no matter what or how much I eat.

How old are you

You should double the number of meals you having but halving the quantity of each meal.
More meals mean your metabolism will get faster, also, you should work out. And sleep at reasonable hours.

My advice is to be less of an idiot and to exercise. But mostly be less of an idiot.

Doublemint Dave

This is a retarded thing to put effort toward

27

All that fiber though. OP only has one stomach.

Lol, op, you are like tomoko right now. Why would you want to do this? People literally won't notice, won't care, or will ask why you would want to do this.
Also, yeah, smaller portions, limit sugars, stay active.

Fuck that off choose something that rhymes with your name. My second name is Janus so I exposed myself to some children and know I'm known as 'nonce' around the local area.

do people still believe in the negative calorie thing? do they factor that into their daily calorie intake, like list a -5 or whatever in their food journal?

I mean, when I'm counting calories I don't count the ones in stuff like celery and spinach, because it's like a bribe to myself to eat more vegetables (they're free!). plus, those 10 calories or whatever are not going to make the difference between me losing weight or not; if I ever reach the point where they do, then I give up because that's a bit too far into calorie nazi territory for me. I'd rather have 1-2 pounds less of weight loss at the end of the year in exchange for the benefit of having eaten a good amount of greenery.

idk, maybe my mental gymnastics aren't any better than the negative-calorie people's.

are they gritty? I'd consider eating them if they weren't gritty. my teeth don't need that shit.

THIS IS PATENTLY FALSE. YOU SIMPLY THINK YOU EAT A LOT. TRY ACTUALLY COUNTING THE CALORIES YOU EAT ON A DAILY BASIS. YOUR EXPECTATION WILL NOT MATCH REALITY.

read this you fucker, Cooking and eating food is such a waste
boards.Veeky Forums.org/ck/thread/8374835#top

op youll fucking die if you "eat all the time"

ur pancreas shoots out insulin at specific meal times

if you never give it a window between eating it never knows where youre eating and not eating and then it says "fuck you i dont want to do this job anymore" and u get diabetes

thats what happened to me when i said to myself " i want to eat all the time"

only eat around other humans
never eat when you arent hanging out with people.
i did this on top of loads of running when i was a mentally ill self imposed skelly and it worked out breddy gud except i got sick a lot

celery has fuck all fiber
i eat 80g of fiber a day
deal with is bitch. your inferior digestive tract is desined to die out.

just eat when everyone is watching and don't eat when you're alone

>>>>>> le me 105 kg fatass
>>>>>> le me with gallbladder removed change diet drop to 57 kg
>>>>>> mfw now i cant digest well fats and i eat the same as when i was a fatass now im stuck @ 70 kg

WHY WOULD YOU WILLINGLY CONSUME SO MUCH FIBER? DO YOU SHIT THREE TIMES A DAY? I MUST KNOW MORE.

its healthy for the human body, i shit 2-3 times a day (this is how often a healthy human should be shitting), they are large dumps, im usually not on the toilet for longer than a minute or two, it all comes out with ease. wiping is usually minimal, more often than not i take the first wipe and nothing is on the tissue. my bowels are cleared out, and i feel much better eating this way, my gut flora is optimised. low levels of flatulence now, the first week however was pretty bad.

INTERESTING. THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR DIETARY HABITS AND STOOL PHYSICALITY. I HAVE RECENTLY ELECTED TO CONSUME THE MINIMUM DAILY VALUE OF FIBER (25G) AND HAVE NOTICED SOME OF THE BENEFITS YOU HAVE LISTED OTHER THAN THE SHITTING THREE TIMES A DAY PORTION. I DEFECATE DAILY NOW WHICH IS AN IMPROVEMENT.

CHEERS TO YOUR HEALTHY COLON.

you can eat all day and be healthy but only with a perfect lifting routine

Even as a beginner if you use a diabetic diet principle (glyx index - you can find some special plans online) you can go down to at least 12% BF while eating 2 pizzas a day. Now you will pay the price if you are older with heart/kidney/liver problems etc. but it is possible to look great and eat like a pig if you just plan it properly and have a perfect lifting routine.

Who /fastmetabolism/ here?

3 dumps a day as an absolute minimum, eat as much shit as I want, whenever I want

It's a gift and a curse