I'm in the UK...

I'm in the UK, West Midlands area but I can go generally everywhere [even on buses to Paris/Belgium/etc] until early March.

Where/what should I eat?

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Go to a pizza express, because pizza chains don't have to be trash.
It's expensive unless you use their always-available online deals.

i haven't seen one of those, what is it?

also the pizza i've had in england has been pretty shit so far.

bump because i've had enough Indian food.

also, go to Otoro/Oboro [can't remember which name] in the fish market near the Bullring. it's magical.

Pizza express is so shit. Also you pay so much for a sliver of a meal

Go eat seafood in Wales. Pizza express is incredibly bad. There are good restaurants everywhere these days if you care enough to read about a local area, so pick the locale you're most interested in and work back from there.

Pizza Express is a pretty poor pizza chain.

If you want good pizza go here in Glasgow.

paesanopizza.co.uk/

pizza express is garbage wtf

Assuming you have a car, if I were in your shoes I'd go on a tour of the tiny villages of the U.K. When you come across one that catches your eye or are just bored of driving, stop at the pub, get a beer, chat up the folks and find out where you can find a room and the best place to eat. Do the same across the channel.

Yeah, do this. Places that sell 90% frozen food are by far the best!

Is it really that bad? I've driven over most of the U.S. (Americunt), and there are stretches where you can drive an entire day and not see a single fucking thing and when you do roll into some shitty little town the only options are fast food or a greasy spoon. It's a beautiful country, but you largely live off of beef jerky and trail mix on the road. Guess I had a romantic notion that the U.K. countryside was like an old Avengers episode. Always wanted to do a U.K. road trip. Leaving disappointed. Thanks a lot cousin.

Don't get me wrong. The food at these places will be tasty and filling and you would probably not realise it was mostly frozen produce.

FPWP

Village road tripping with great resturants or gastro pubs is a thing in posh rural areas with tourist flow like the Lake District, Rutland and Thames Valley. Every other village in those places will have a 7+/10 kitchen of some sort doing local food/specialities. Just pick a guide book up so you dont end up eating in cute looking chain pubs. Pubs can have great food, but look for the ones that grow and sell their own produce.

Manoir aux Qaut'Saisons
Ledbury
La Gavroche
L'enclume
Restaurant Gordon Ramsay
Rules
St. John
Curry in Tooting or Veeraswarmy or Ganapati
Kebab at Mangal II

I suggest you hop a plane to Guadalajara and try some authentic Mexican cooking.

>Authentic
So fried crickets and corn smut?

pretty cool suggestions from those of you that bothered, i'll try those out.

Don't bother with Wolverhampton that's all I can say.

China town in Brum has some nice cheap places, cantonese roast meat & rice, sichuan, and decent malay food too.

Not found any good Viet spots so Pho out of the question.

There are some decent smoke houses around I hear too

Also OP really needs to say what town/city

And give us some cuisine otherwise just gonna be a ramble innit

Nandos m8.