Why is toilet paper so expensive? Do they want us to just not wipe our ass?

Why is toilet paper so expensive? Do they want us to just not wipe our ass?

Just steal it from public bathrooms.

It's a necessity in life at least in certain places(fuck off not everyone can afford some fancy ass-washing kit) so they can make the price whatever they want and there's nothing you can do about it.

>yellow pages

Are you a million?

Two words:

Bee day

You can buy a pack at the dollar store.

But damn if those plush ones don't feel like fucking magic on my ass.

I work at a local newspaper. I trade sunday coupons to coupon ladies for free shit. I haven't paid for toilet paper in 2 and a half years.

I cant imagine this possible working unless its a full shower with a soapy hand washing and then rinsing your asshole, followed by a towel dry.
After a greasy shit that leaves what is much like a splatter smear of peanut butter... how is a little splash of cold water going to fix it without using any paper?
Seriously, explain this. Also, tap water in winter here runs between 4 and 8°C. So you squirt some cold water on your shitty asshole, and then pull your pants up feeling clean? I really DO NOT get this concept.

The kikes

Who /detachable showerhead/

This

It's pretty great, getting one finally made me comfortable with sleeping nude.

I want to know how a bidet doesn't end up creating a mist of shit particles that gets all over your body and bathroom, because I know it does.

And for those of you who shower after you shit, I hope you're washing your legs and feet thoroughly.

yuropeens love the sensation of fluid splashing their assholes after it has been opened really wide

IT'S A STREAM. WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO MIST YOUR ASS?

This is hardly Veeky Forums but Cottonelle toilet paper is shit

When I was a kid I saw Charmin commercials advertise that "it didn't leave anything behind" and I'm like "what the fuck does that happen"

That commercial was for Cottonelle users, I have a Georgia plantation up my ass until I take a shower every time I use it

Use some cloth then and wash it between uses - recycling is all the rage nowadays.

Or you could always use the three sea shells method...

but you use paper first to wipe everything nasty, then go to town with soap and water you fucking caveman
is it really that difficult to imagine?

Most in the US that I've seen (As a contractor who works in peoples homes who have too much money) are pre-heated water and a lot have a blow dryer type deal built in also and it's not a little splash of water. I got one up to almost 8 feet in the air when I turned it on to see what it did one time.

>tfw try to exclusively shit in public restrooms and use all the toilet paper I please

When it comes into contact with your ass, it's going to fucking splatter everywhere.

>not just stealing the big ass roll and using it at home

i buy it at costco

it's really not that expensive

seriously, its not even expensive

ITS A SUPER SOAKER. HOW MUCH PRESSURE AND VOLUME DO YOU EXPECT ?!

eat right for no whipe poops.
I only need to whipe when I drink, when I eat fry food or way too fucking much.
when I eat right it's like I poop compacted pellets that smell musky and spicy.
it's pretty great.

please give us a guide to no wipe pooping sir

>people actually responding to a blatantly off-topic thread instead of reporting it

What the fuck.