Literary Confession Thread:

I think ive read everything i needed to read in this reencarnation.

no u

Ever since I read Stirner, I have been treating my property how I want to treat them, the "golden rule" be damned.

It's been going as expected thus far.

I find Shakespeare's plays boring to read, and mildly entertaining to watch.

you must have a lot time

Literature has become some kind of toxic addiction for me. I hate it, I hate what I write, I hate what I read, and I cannot stop because of some compulsion to understand everything and find perfection

I almost never read and barely know about anything about the content posted here.

I like to write but I feel all my drive die when I am faced with an empty page

Literature is the tool of idiots.

I'm Clifford Le Sargent

you mean the tool of the elite

sounds pretty awesome desu

Most of us know this already. Usually when you confess something, the information is new.

How did you expect it to go?

I was Kafka in the past life.

Think the actual sentences and words out in your head. This will happen if you read. Mature another year or two. Post at a time other than summer. Read. Don't just rely on abstractions of stories you want to tell. Imagine those stories told. Think big-picture. Do you want to die unwritten?

I like books as well as literature.

Finnegan's Wake is gibberish.

You might think so but it's shit. I wanted to be a businessman or something practical instead i have wasted nearing on 8 years of my life obsessing over shit that doesn't actually matter. I can't focus my energies on anything practical beyond the most basic necessities of living because of this retarded obsession with knowing the absolute truth of reality and expressing it however possible, a goal which is not only impossible but far beyond my specific capabilities as an individual. I realize this, that I will fail, that I can't do it, but I cannot stop, it never leaves, I never even feel like I'm properly awake unless I'm thinking about these things, the rest of my life is just some blur i am half aware of.

It is most shit because I can see, vaguely below the surface of the constant confusion, the normal patterns that should be occurring. I will get a job, or start some relationship, and there is a very muted sense of fulfillment that should be much stronger, that should animate me to pursue those ends to better places, but they are always like little mutters below a thick white fog, and above the fog the only thing I can ever feel is this desperately urgent need to find these answers to questions I don't even really understand.

Sleep more.
Read less.
See a doc. See a shrink.
Maybe go Into the Wild if you can. At the least, go on some hikes. Someplace really fucking cool. Appalachians or Grand Canyon or whatever.

Holy shit Veeky Forums I don't know how to apply myself.

Can't even think of self-imposed goals that won't look ridiculous a day after I think of them.

I'm writing a book about a gay prostitute, and the first chapter starts off with him wiping cum off his face.

lol fuck that kill urself

I decided to start reading books and i got myself A Clockwork Orange.
I can't make it through the first 10 pages.
Did I pick up something too hard? Should I stay with the cereal boxes descriptions?

I don't mean to simply complain but I have done those things, there is a kind of fundamental arrogance in me that won't accept any answer because it isn't good enough, and I feel that there is a better one to be found.

What you say makes sense, and is true, but there is like a corruscating venom in me that doesn't allow for anything like that, I hate everything except moments of ecstasy and insight.

I feel like on some fundamental level God completely fucked up, and we were left to deal with this utter bullshit which we can only trick ourselves into liking, and it is hard to trick yourself when nothing works, when nothing affords real satisfaction because of its inherent filth.

I have had periods of brief respite and happiness which are always ruined as soon as I open my eyes and see what is going on, that it is only an intoxication of love, power, comfort, whatever it might be, below that there is an awareness of a much more real reality that can't be held back, it is like a beast growling under a blanket, and it is so much more intense that its awful character doesn't stop its being so much more attractive, so much more necessary and urgent and real.

But I realize that is also bullshit, and the fact that I feel that way is bullshit, and that is the entire problem

I actually haven't read THAT many books.

Sounds pretty gay, desu.

Why

I'm almost certain that's true.

ACO is really simple once you realize all the funny words are just a meme

So the whole book is a meme?

Go one book to the left

A Clockwork Orange is one of the most frustrating things to start, then it turns fun. As a rule, hunt down a glossary (don't most editions have one in the back?) and stop and look up EVERY word you aren't 100% sure you recognize. It will come naturally too you sooner or later. (This holds true for real-life words, too - get a nice dictionary if you're going to read for real. If not, get the fug out now.) Here's some defense on the silliness of the words: real-world language mergers look like this, with random snippets of language A inflecting language B; and the goo-goo-ga-ga talk reflects the psyche of the main characters and of teenagers at large to boot. It's no less irritating (or mimetic), but those realizations made me understand why they're there.

It's kinda shit imo.

You can't, at once, think pleasure is bullshit and pain is not. They are the same, if you will either.

You lack self-control, and, I imagine, you have too much self-pride yet express too little of it. There's energy pent up inside you and you aren't doing a good job of leveraging it. "I can't leverage it" is an excuse, and if it's excuses you want, then there's nothing in the world that can save you.

Try writing. It's my rule to write anything I wish had been written. Any answer made by you ought to be perfect on your terms, no? Or, if you haven't come up with that answer, try some different forms of meditation.

You sound really derealized; look into medication for that.

Obviously the things you like drive you; my advice is to try treating your neurosis the same way you'd get into a workout routine. Think big-picture. What will make you happy five years from now? Whatever it is, strive for it. Deep happiness is all that's worth chasing in life.

Wanted to get Brave New World but there was no stock in the bookshop
Thanks for the advice. I guess I should've read the preface. The dialog like that is something I can get, similar stuff happened in Martin Fierro IIRC (made us read it in HS, argentinian here, pretty good book).
Although I should also keep in mind that English not being my main language could be a big kick in the nuts. I'll keep these in mind though, thank you.
Aw :(
Well at least I'll try to find out why is it and why is it not?

Goddamn I can't even reply well, and I want to start reading books

>You can't, at once, think pleasure is bullshit and pain is not. They are the same, if you will either.
I don't mean that pain is more real, pain is equally unimportant I agree with you. It is an awareness of reality I am talking about, actually looking at the world as it is, and the twin streams of euphoria and terror that tend to appear when you do so.
>You lack self-control, and, I imagine, you have too much self-pride yet express too little of it.
Fairly intuitive analysis given how little you had to work with, I have a complete lack of self control but I don't have self pride, I don't have a cogent conception of myself at all
>There's energy pent up inside you and you aren't doing a good job of leveraging it. "I can't leverage it" is an excuse, and if it's excuses you want, then there's nothing in the world that can save you.
When I 'leverage my energy' it is just pure violence, there is no sense in it, i restrain myself because abandon leads to complete destruction, I think all people are like this
>Try writing. It's my rule to write anything I wish had been written. Any answer made by you ought to be perfect on your terms, no? Or, if you haven't come up with that answer, try some different forms of meditation.
I write constantly, I have written thousands of words a day for years on a completely diverse set of topics, it is like adding wood to a fire, it accomplishes nothing but further inflamation
>You sound really derealized; look into medication for that.
How can you expect a concept like derealization to matter if the entire question is one of finding what reality actually is,that is the entire problem itself
>Obviously the things you like drive you; my advice is to try treating your neurosis the same way you'd get into a workout routine. Think big-picture. What will make you happy five years from now? Whatever it is, strive for it. Deep happiness is all that's worth chasing in life.
5 years from now I would like the same thing I have always wanted, to be normal, to just participate in life like other people do, i dont even care how it is, but I have absolutely no expectation that that will happen because nothing ever works, it is a pathology of motive

I disagree fundamentally that happiness is the goal of life, when you look at reality it cares very little about harmony, about things being calm, about niceness,it functions in very different ways, and we are a part of it and to deny our inherent violence and wrongness is to be totally blind

A guy who looks like James Joyce fucked my girlfriend and now I hate James Joyce.

I once had a marathon masturbation session fueled by a fantasy whose central character was Martin Luther.

is that your excuse for being a NEET?

The picture of dorian Grey is my favorite book

did he sniff her farts?

>twin streams of euphoria and terror tend to appear when you do so
So why don't you focus on the euphoric? Your perfectionism is being the death of you (doubtless an insight for you). It's important to reconcile the bad in the universe - and remember, reconciliation doesn't mean a way of upping complacency.

>I don't have self pride
Get some.
>"I don't have a cogent conception of myself at all"
Get one.

>abandon leads to complete destruction
This is not leveraging, this is letting lose. You need self-control, fast.

>I think all people are like this
All people who can't control themselves, sure. A Freudian would go nuts on you, you know.

>I write constantly, it accomplishes nothing but further inflammation
I'm sorry to hear that.

>derealization
Actually my bullshit diagnosis now makes me think you have OCD or something. I should bite my tongue on that end, but I'd look into either of those tangents.

>to be normal, to just participate in life like other people do, I don't even care how it is
Are you so sure? It sounds to me like your problem comes from a desire to live your own way, but an inability to do so - one that stems from your ability, again, to assert yourself, take self-control, all that. Were you in a rational state of mind, I can't imagine you would want to live like everybody else.

I disagree fundamentally that happiness is the goal of life from a universal perspective. From a human's perspective - and that is the perspective that usually matters to me - I care about what brings me pleasure, and so that is my goal. The goals of life and the universe run against one another. Pick your side. Reality is not nice, and not-nice times are what make men.

You sound like a person who never grew up inside, but you also sound read enough to find a way to grow the rest up.

You empathize with Raskolnikov a lot, don't you?

I don't really see the point in reading regular non-genre fiction that's supposed to be true to life and relatable. I already know what normal boring life is like, I don't need someone else describing it to me as well.

What if that person is smarter than you, user? What if that person sees a different world than you, user? experiences a different world? lives a different life?

I hate reading but love audiobooks. Kill my self?

I loved The Myth of Sisyphus but I didn't really get The Stranger

It'd be true if being an idiot wasn't relative. There's a lot of annoying things about cutivated people, but I've never found the other side of the fence to be any better. Though there is and will be exceptions.

t. Veeky Forums

>believing in reincarnation, yet can't even spell it
Someone needs to read more

i love murakami (the pleb murakami)

i mostly read nonfiction and feel guilty reading fiction even though i know i can get more from a fiction work than a nonfiction work

I'm Clifford Le Sargent

My entire knowledge of philosophy consists of my high school ethics class, some wikipedia articles and the first ten pages of Bertrand Russel's history of western philosophy.

I just spoke to an Irishman who was giving me a job interview for an hour about Dubliners but haven't actually read it. I only used references that I memorized from Veeky Forums posts, even reciting quotes as well as stealing from goodreads reviews.

I've only read one book so far this year.

I've read barely any Shakespeare even though I'm an English student.

i debate books on /lit ive never even heard of, nevermind read

Also I'm addicted to detective/crime fiction. I've even tried fooling myself into believing it has literary value.

I write fan faction for my Chinese cartoons series. Am I going to pleb hell?

Here is a song written about you, I hope it makes you feel better :
youtube.com/watch?v=SuGRbPK8ySk

once you have doubt about your hedonism, switch to the dhamma

I started reading Infinite Jest and got about a fifth of the way through the book before realizing that I hadn't been reading the endnotes, and that in fact the ebook version I was reading did not even have the endnotes to begin with. I put the book down right then and haven't picked it up since, even after finding a version with the endnotes and hyperlinks to them within the text.

How? I've read Dubliners and I'm not sure I could speak about it for that long.
Also, why haven't you read it? It's an easy read and quite enjoyable, you obviously spent much more time learning about and it and memorising what was said about it than it would have taken you reading the actual book...

I've been putting off reading King Lear for like three months. I don't know why. I love Shakespeare, and in my defense I've been reading other good stuff in the meantime. But every time I sit down to read it, I get distracted by something else. I don't know what my problem is.

I don't know what to gain from reading anymore. When I was in high school everything blew my mind. Not to say that I understand everything now, but when I read something new, I don't get that revelation, that spark. It's more or less so and so said that thing. Does anybody else experience this? I still love to read it's just it seems to be something I do because I'm used to doing it. Talked with a buddy of mine about this and told be I'm probably depressed. I dunno, I don't really feel it, but I have noticed that things I used to really enjoy in my youth are kind of fizzling out. New hobbies, perhaps?

Confessions #1
I bought "Being and Nothingness" by Sartre when I was 14 and it took me almost 10 years to make it through the introduction.
#2 I read most of Dostoyevsky's work by the time I was 28, except for "brothers karamazov," tried it at 34...I aint got time for that shit. You gotta use all six names for somebody every time they are mentioned? C'mon Nigga.
#3 I could care less about dfw, Lerner and all of the new yorkers favorite "stunt authors." I used to, then my nuts dropped.

safest confession ever

you are the ned flanders of anonymous confessions

I'm developing a scat fetish, just like Joyce!

>I dont read I only meme about reading
>my life

The Book of the New Sun affected me more than Ulysses

You became Catholic?

I read translated poetry
Also I've read the whole meme trilogy not in english
Mason&Dixon is among the best things I have ever read, this books was magical

No that was a purposeful nod to the Pepeist religion. They believe that they leave this putrid existence and eventually turn back into frogs by reee-ncarnation.

I really like Ayn Rand even though I find her writing subpar. I've argued many times in her defense and have come to the conclusion that most people can only think of witty quotes or her failings as a person rather than argue anything about her philosophy.
It's like telling someone you're a Nietzschean and everyone endlessly tries to remind you that the nazi were influenced by Nietzsche and he caused the Holocaust.
Her philosophy isn't perfect but I feel like nearly everyone turns their brain off when they want to just dismiss why she's wrong, often only resorting to memes and nothing more.

>I've argued many times in her defense and have come to the conclusion that most people can only think of witty quotes or her failings as a person rather than argue anything about her philosophy.
rationalwiki.org/wiki/Objectivism

knock yourself out

>open page
>first thing is a quote about how Objectivism is evil
Fucking kill me.

your cog.dis. is showing

I knew that Rationalwiki was bad but I didn't expect complete slander.

You are spooked the fuck out

Meaningless term. If anything, most of what Striner bitched about concerning spooks is the same things Ayn Rand bitched about on collectivism.

I would rather gouge my eyes out than read Shakespeare.

Please do so.

I refuse to do either.

It's okay, I was 13 once.

but objectivism is evil
this is a fact

1) morality is real
2) objectivism is opposed to morality
3) u.s.

>objectivism is opposed to morality
Wut? Objectivism is heavily in favor of morality.

I don't know what to write, trying to read the needs of the collective unconscious is so difficult. I realize my methods are possibly mistaken, and my motives might be nothing but a fear of the inevitable (death), but this longing for something new doesn't stop? Is it a matter of legitimacy? I don't know what to do, what anyone wants.

To be fair Nietzsche was actually banned in Nazi Germany so it wouldn't be like that.

BUT HER SISTER WAS A NAZI AND FORCE OF WILL YO~

>could care less
kys