> be me
> mother is a natural remedy quack
> have a sore knee
> she assumes it's gout
> makes mustard greens juice for me
> I drink it to appease her
> extremely difficult, as you can imagine
> extremely strong aftertaste
> retch whenever I burp
> always on the verge of vomiting
Tell me about your nature health quak experiences Veeky Forums
did it help?
>Wife has joined the Essential Oils cult.
>Makes the house smell good, but otherwise useless.
>"Honey, you need to stop wasting money on that snake oil."
>"I thought you'd say that, user. But just give this a try."
>Essential Oil makes surprisingly good sex lube.
>"Honey, order some more of that."
Post more detailed story pls
If your wife needs lube you're either 56 or your dick game lacking and she's probably swallowing giant dicks the second your sorry ass is out of the house. Her stupid oils are probably only a means to cover up the sweaty stank of her filthy fuck-sessions.
Isn't it past your bedtime, kid?
>Used to get horrible ear infections as a kid.
>Did we go to the doctor to get antibiotics?
>Nope, fuck that, mom had a pack of the solution.
>Blew cigarette smoke in my ear.
She's on meds that affect her ability to get wet on her own.
I know your jealous that a stranger on the Internet is getting laid more often than you, but you could be using this energy to find a date instead of shit-posting on a cooking board. Up yer game, son.
>maybe if I double down on my stupid faggot lies and insinuate that I'm older than everyone else they'll believe me!
I've heard of this. Did it work?
Eh, temporarily, the nicotine probably does something?
>>>/normieville/
Only children believe nobody can be older than them or know what a woman looks like.
I still do this sometimes for mild ear aches. You don't blow the smoke in the ear though, just hold the end that would normally go in your mouth in your ear instead.
For some strange reason, it works. Nothing to do with nicotine, most likely something to do with relieving ear pressure with the help of heat or some bollocks.
NONE OF Y'ALL FUCKING KIDS KNOW SHIT ABOUT MY NIGGER CASTOR OIL
UPSET STOMACH? CASTOR OIL AND PEPPERMINT
HEADACHE? CASTOR OIL AND GINGER
ATHLETES FOOT? RUB CASTOR OIL WITH BAKING SODA AND SALT ON IT
GOT A CUT OR A SCRAPE? BETTER RUB SOME CASTOR OIL AND GARLIC ON IT
MOMS GOT CANCER? RUB SOME CASTOR OIL ON THE CYST
MOMS DEAD? WELL AT LEAST DAD CAN USE THE CASTOR OIL AS LUBE TO FUCK HIS WHORES NOW
FUCK YOU DAD.
Or maybe they do anal
There are "ear candles", too: basically a waxed tube you hold to your ear and light at the other end, this creates a mild "draft" and kind of works in some situations. I've had a bad cold once and my ear was fucked for quite a long time before one of those snakeoil-addicted mother types got me those candles.
>have painful gout attacks
>friend buys me a bottle of non-concentrate cherry juice and tells me it helps with gout
>don't think it'll do anything but drink it because it's tasty
>gout goes away
the cucks on here tricked me into buying apple cider vinegar to drink.
I've been having a mouthful of it a day and it fucking tastes like shit and does nothing.
Why?
not that guy, but I just remembered the most dissapointing thing of my life
>have had sex with basically my dream girl
>didn't actually look at the vagina (it seemed like a weird this to do)
>it was over in two seconds
>so disappointing I invent an excuse to break up with her almost right away
>she gets preggers soon
>some super beta orbiter gets stuck with it
>basically ruin her life, that orbiter gets cucked pretty hard but doesn't leave her
>dodged two bullets with one bone
Did you think this was funny when you typed it?
I thought it was mildly funny. Funniest post on Veeky Forums imo.
Because reading posts like these is fucking gold
It was okay. Reminds me of a time when this site wasn't such a hellhole and didn't take itself so seriously.