What are the best books to read to impress people, look smart, and get laid...

What are the best books to read to impress people, look smart, and get laid? You can differentiate between the three if you want but I would assume they are all linked.

Infinate Jest

read leaves of grass on campus under a tree sitting on actual grass. the girls will come.

Fault in our stars

I mean that unironically

I once impressed a cute hipster girl working at a café I frequented in university when I told her I'd read all of Delillo. I hadn't (and have yet to), but I'd read most of his more popular/well-known works and a few of the more obscure ones for good measure. I think she'd stumbled her way through White Noise for a class and had gotten a few pages into Libra and Cosmopolis, so she was impressed that I'd read so much of his and others' works (I'm a little ashamed to say it, but I name-dropped Pynchon and Melville). We eventually started seeing eachother and fucking a couple of times before she quit (or got fired, I can't remember).

tl;dr Don Delillo

as someone who reads and considers Delillo a favorite author, I cracked up at this, and wanna give you a high five.

Have you read The Last Samurai by Helen DeWitt? She strikes me as very similar to Delillo.

Simone de Bouvouir - The Second Sex.

Will help you get laid by humanities educated women.

No I haven't. I guess I should check it out.

The Great Gatsby, Lolita, and anything by Camus

Also, the more intelligent girls will dig you if you like Joyce, but theyre rarer

To impress people, read the classics

To look smart, read postmodern books

To get laid, read Jane Austen, some poetry, Bernard Shaw (plays in general), and Simone de Bouvouir

my diary desu

>Lolita

Risky. There's a class of female who would call you a pedophile if they saw it in your home.

What would girls think of me reading Wollstonecraft?

Try it, you pussy. Read Lolita in front of a bunch of feminists.
>they call you a pedo
you can shrug it of, because you are alpha
>they ignore you
you realize you lost that one internet argument.

pleb-filiter then, no?

OP wants to get laid, not cherry pick

Song of ice and fire if you wanna have sex with fat whales that fantasize about being raped by the Mountain

You all know its true. Unless you study literature, you will be surrounded by women, who only read shit or don't read at all. Therefore you would need something that such a person would know about. Here you have a title everybody knows and most women have read or at least discussed with their friends. It also sets the tone and gives it a sexual vibe. Not that you need a book to pick up a chick.

Skinny whales also read that shit.

tips for girls: tropic of cancer, songs of maldoror, story of the eye

these will filter illiterates

Why would you filter them? So much potential lost.

my experience exactly. ofc i read it in my hometown, not at uni. people entirely ignored it. to people who dont know about literature, one book is the same as another.

>Camus
This one works well for me, ladies love it when you describe the absurd