I'm writing a book of aphorisms a la Nietzsche, but with a comedic turn

I'm writing a book of aphorisms a la Nietzsche, but with a comedic turn.
I'm on page 125 so far and I wanted to hear some constructive criticism on the type of aphoristic creations you will likely see throughout the book.

"Besides the great -or horrible- Bubonic plague, there is one thing that, throughout human history, I have dubbed the most painful: The chattering of old women"

"Naye, Mr. Darwin; Naye, Mr. Aristoteles; If there is one thing humans are made of, it must be Habit. Yes! Humans are creatures of habit!"

"Nietzsche once mentioned Ascetism as the greatest of all drugs! Naye, ladies and gents! For the greatest drug is Sodomy -naye homo-."

"Did i mention that humans are creatures of habit!? I deem it possible to be said that I've made a habit of repeating such aphorism!"

Do you think this could get published?

Other urls found in this thread:

xvideos.com/video16777023/frank_wolf
fucktapes.xxx/mp3/EDAWaAFg5SL/frank-wolf-jerks-off-in-soccer-socks.html
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

Grist for the mill.

Well done, I cringed.

In a good way?

LOL

It was somewhat cathartic.

lmfao

horrible, stop it, you're a fucking cunt

These are atrocious. They're so bad I can't even laugh at you, I only feel pity and uneasiness at the thought that people like you exist. It's like looking at those girls born without the better part of their brains whom their father, for some sick reason, allowed to live. You know the ones, there's two of them I think and they look like human puppets made of real flesh, with somewhat flat heads but otherwise pretty well formed in the vats of some demented scientist. There's a short clip of one who appears to be bobbing about a room held by the back of its head by the happy father as if he were a deluded young bitch holding its stillborn pup as her mother instinct tells her to, her other instincts warning her there is something wrong with it but she doesn't yet know what. You look at it and it's obvious that it breathes but it's not human, it's not even animal, it's merely organic. At first you squint at the screen and feel a bit of a shock as you struggle to take in the uncanniness, then you laugh, after all this is Veeky Forums, you've seen worse, you're not here for the first time and you're not a normie, hahaha, you're jaded, heh, but your laughter is hollow and in the end there's just the pity and disgust and sadness at this wretched world.

So yeah, that's kind of how I see your sorry display, OP.

...

This

Whew, lad, don't be so negative.

you are a shooting star OP. I bust my gut laughing. these other nerds are jealous.

You should post some more.

kek

this is funny keep going

Woah, OP here.

This post was a marvel of a spiritual ride for me. And as a way to thank you for your noble time, dear sire, I shall show you one of my best aphorisms as sign of gratitude.

May your soul rest forever, after witnessing this caligraphical display:

"In Leviticus 18:22 it is written -and I shall paraphrase here- that "No man should lie with another man, yet he be put to death" but I, instead, have to only to say the following "Whoever doth speak ill of literary or comedic genius, shall surely be put to rest!". For, just as Heraclitus' aphorisms showed us that the unlearned were merely experiencing a dream; Those unable to appreciate great aphorisms --as well as those who promulgate The Gay Agenda-- are no better awake, than eternally slumbering"

I fear it might get a bit repetitive.

Most of my aphorisms are one-liners, and most pages hold atleast 10 of them. So far i've written atleast 1250 aphorisms and atleast 500 are attacks on Darwin's personal life, while the rest are spread between gay jokes and attacking future critics of the book itself.
Idk i feel it's getting very repetitive but i need more pages if i want to get it published.
Should i keep going?

>"Besides the great -or horrible- Bubonic plague, there is one thing that, throughout human history, I have dubbed the most painful: The chattering of old women"
that doesn't even make sense

are you saying that the most painful "things" in human history are the bubonic plague and the chattering of old women because that's objectively not true

The most painful thing in history is the anal fissures you get after being rawdogged by a 12 inch negro american

What's her name?

Hey OP, I got some aphorisms too:

>It is true that a frog in a well might be ignorant of the world that lies around it, but not the firmament above. Indeed, even in the water there beneath him, he will have a glimpse of the infinite eternal, and with much less to distract him than those whose lines of sight are much more horizontally inclined. This is why, therefore, the least worldly men are still often the most wise, for they tend not to clutter their minds with small and worldly things of little consequence - though of course, they may not have had the luxury of choosing. For this reason, Joyce was right to say of his native Dublin, in explaining why he chose it as the setting for his Ulysses, that the universal lies in the particular.

>Those who insist that a successor must not suffer for the sins of their predecessors, are nonetheless insistent that the latter be permitted to make the former suffer, should they perceive the sins of the latter as directed unto them. No clearer evidence of this have we than with the dwindling number of former, nonagenerian 'Nazis' - who, typically having participated in the regime under duress and having played very minor parts in any case, find themselves wheeled out to face the judgement of their victors' children and grandchildren.

>Across the spectrum, one hears a certain claim in contradiction to that of Louis XIV: "L'etat c'est ne pas moi!" Seemingly unrelated is the claim of de Maistre who, speaking in regard to the US Constitution, declared that a constitution for all is a constitution for none. In the spirit of this claim, with regard to the former, we are left with a question: Can a state with whom no one identifies, be for everyone? Can this be so?

>The conservative is one who, looking for a collective to which he can belong, either does not realize there is only a rabble or has foolishly consigned himself to one. The latter deserves his fate, whereas for the former there is hope.

>Is Chomsky not rather some sort of philosophical asbestos? He places himself as a buffer, between the reader and the inferno of modern capitalism and all the maladies contained therein - and yet he chokes you, slowly and in secret, from within.

>Somehow, the French have managed to portray themselves as the most qualified of all peoples in matters of taste - yet I can think of no finer example of French taste than of Proust's comments in regards to asparagus, comparing the pungent odour it imbues upon one's piss to a flask of perfume.

>The Ancient Greeks, it is true, could not turn water into wine - and yet they treated it as such. Is that not more admirable?

A kek or two but it's very one-note
>Do you think this could get published?
Most certainly not, there's no audience for this

Late bump, but I actually like some of these. With some polishing you could go places.

"With due regard to Wilde and the better part of the Athenian military, OP has proved time and time again- consistently!- that he is a faggot."

Overdone

The point of philosophy is ideas. The point of aphorisms is clarity. Here we have neither.

>her

>The point of aphorisms is clarity.

Clearly never read Nietzsche. Many of his were very ambiguous at the best of times.

Yeah, but he had something to actually say

>I have dubbed.
Its the authors point of view.

>it's a twink without his makeup and wig episode

xvideos.com/video16777023/frank_wolf

fucktapes.xxx/mp3/EDAWaAFg5SL/frank-wolf-jerks-off-in-soccer-socks.html

Speechless I stand contemplating this your most sublime sensitive Soul. Dearest Alastor, I am your truthful spiritual companion

19/m/US, p.m.* me your kik so i can your d*ck

*Reply with textcode [pm]...[/pm ]

i think if you've ever red Nietzsche or even most oriental philosopher's who wrote in short aphorisms or poems youll realize that the essence of an aphorism is ambiguity for if it were a clear idea it would suck since it'd be too short to be complex. Ambiguity or obscurity point out towards a deeper meaning beyond the short length of the text

sorry i was responding to