How would you like your eggs cooked, user?

How would you like your eggs cooked, user?

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>ON THE HEAT
>OFF THE HEAT

I'll just have a hollandaise sauce shake thanks.

scrampled hun

Over easy. With some toast to soak up all that yolk.

I'll take them blue rare, m'lady.

"Surprise me"

She would genuinely be impressed I bet

Yes

I didn't order eggs.

How you like your eggs, girl?
... Fried or fertilized?

She has that pig nose kinda thing going on.

Eggwhites only. Side of Oatz. Glass of water. Please be quick, I have to finish my workout.

Mmmm this

SOFT BOILED WITH TOAST SOLDIERS YOU DUMB CUNT

"fertilized" then I give her a wink and drop a magnum condom on the ground and flash some hundreds real quick

Why would you let a waitress call you by name?

okay

sunny side up and over easy are the only correct choice

I want mine poached

Sunny side up, over easy, poached, or soft boiled.

As a kid I hated runny eggs and would always get them over hard or scrambled.
Not sure what the fuck my problem was.

Why are you being mean

ok also, sorry, just a lot of work

if it were a diner i was at on the regular, that would be cool
strangers calling me my name cause they got it from my driver license or something INCENSES me, i'm not your buddy, bitch

Over medium

does this work? can you proposition random mid west waitresses and have it succeed?
asking for a friend, he's right here

>boil water
>crack egg in bowl
>turn water temp down to soft boil
>stir water to make whirlpool
>pour in egg
>wait 3 minutes

meh, not that much work... and no chance of burning it, which I like.

>Eggwhites only
racist

takes more effort than frying the shit don't be weird

>date an American southerner for seven years
>get addicted to cheese eggs
Cheese eggs, please. (:

sounds like you're ready to plow

It's your name. Why don't you like to hear it!? You got a fuckin problem with yourself, buddy!?

Whoops! I dropped my MASSIVE CONDOM for my MAGNUM DONG...

>heat pan
>add oil/butter
>add egg
>flip egg
>onto plate

That's one less ">". Which is more work?

boil water takes more time

and it aint easy for what you get

One less meme arrow?

it's presumptive.
although i know it's weird and i'm probably in the wrong

Not him, but I only ever make a poached egg for ramen, so I'm boiling water anyway.

Actually, I started removing the yolk, mixing the white in with the noodles like an egg drop soup, and then adding the yolk in the bowl with everything lese after it was done and just letting it sit in the hot steaming water for a bit so it gets creamy then mixing it up.

It's fucking perfect.

>ON THE HEAT
>OFF THE HEAT
That's less than yours

Dippy eggs.

Over hard

This.
Only a fag would want to drink up the warm, thick bodily fluids of another animal.

In a diner? Sunny side up, always.

over easy, please

You should try pulling that stick out of your ass sometime, it's probably rotten by now.
>pleb tastes

pouched over easy on toasted english muffins with hollandise on the side.

it's what i just had for breakfast.

>How do I want my eggs cooked?
>*kills waitress*
>*lights resturant on fire*
>*shoot up a school*
>*comeback and revive waitress with T virus
>I'll let you decide the future from here on out
>*tips fedora twice*

scrambled i guess


eggs are shit honestly

Had egg like this for breakfast.

Sop up extra yolk with cottage cheese.

I bet you don't like onions either, faggot

Over medium

Y-Yes please

Does no one else like soft scrambled?

Literally ambrosia tier, god I love eggs

I call em wet, and yeah they taste like butter if done right. been really into soft scrambled with thick hot sauce and sour cream,

youtube.com/watch?v=H4s1ECI0Eac

but eating them is totally different.

Over hard please don't burn the yolk please

I'm never going to a restaurant for breakfast ever again.

>couple hours before work starts
>rare treat that i made it through traffic this fast
>would usually just grab some jelly and toast and hop along to wage slaving
>decide to try that hipstery looking coffee shop a block from my job
>walk in and and see cashier is old white woman
>order extra buttermilk pancakes with bacon and scrambled eggs
>ya know basic shit anyone can cook
>she says ok so thats two orders?
>"uh no i want extra pancakes thats one order"
>pay and sit down
>15 minute wait not so bad i suppose
>lady walks up with two plates of pancakes
>chuckle and shake my head decide to play it off
>about to dig in
>wait what
>my bacon is fucking raw
>ok
>eggs start looking suspicious
>poke it
>slowly realize it wasnt scrambled, but that some one cooked the eggs without stirring it in the pan at all and just scrunched it up to make it look scrambled
>what the fuck
>ok whatever my pancakes are gonna be delicious right?
>they cant possibly not know how to make pancakes right Veeky Forums?
>pancakes are powdery on the inside
>had enough
>bring my plate up front
>"Who made this miss"
>shocked silence
>"my meal was barely cooked"
>um let me get the manager
>"you dont have to do that, i just want my money back"
>they were going to charge me 25 dollars
>decide mcdonalds would be a safe bet today

Fuck this bullshit

Whoops! I dropped my monster condom for my magnum dong!

yep, at least maccies is cheap and consistent.