Is possible for a socially retarded person to understand socializing using logic and reason?

Is possible for a socially retarded person to understand socializing using logic and reason?

no

Probably, but it won't help you.

No, socialisation is a non-rational system. All you can hope is to pick up tricks to make social situations less awkward.

>socialisation is a non-rational system

Socialization is not a system, it's a process and it's completely logical.

Unless you have trouble telling the emotions of a face, whatever damage you suffer is reversible.
Take steps to improve yourself and socialization will come along.

No, it's a system, and it runs on non-verbal cues and non-rational impulses. Thinking it's a process will get you no-where, you can't learn how to do it like you might learn how to play a guitar.

actually yes, I realized around 10-12 that I was weird, so I observed other people interacting and tried to identify patterns and replicate them. It took maybe 5 years before I was very good at it, but now it's been 10 years and you wouldn't know I'm weird just by talking to me

Yes you can. It's painful though. You will feel your soul crushing inside when all you want is to go back to your computer and fap to some loli.

>so I observed other people interacting and tried to identify patterns and replicate them
I wish there was a book I could read about this. Just pages and pages of social cues and responses, funny lines and stuff to memorize.

You probably won't. In the end there are rules though, simple rules. The most important thing you need to understand is that in a way all people are exactly the same. They all want the same.

>They want to feel acknowledged
Everybody loves to hear an honest compliment. Note: You don't need to lie to use this. Just run around the world with open eyes and when you see people doing a good job, tell them. Also take them seriously. Everybody fucking hates people who are condescending all the fucking time. It's annoying as hell when you feel that passive aggressive vibe in every word, as if everything that is said comes with an asterisk*

*) But I'm way smarter and better than you.

>They want to feel secure
People feel secure when they feel they know the situation they are in. People fucking hate uncommon things. That includes you: Don't act, dress, talk or smell weird. Just adapt as much as you can. You don't need to change who you are, just learn to keep a facade for other people to see. It makes you appear less vulnerable and it makes people around feel more relaxed. Joke around a little and smile, so people get the impression that everything is fine.

>They want to feel loved
Now this one sounds a little theatrical. But it's true. Everybody chases after the idea of actual love. And I don't necessarily mean the romantic kind of love. I mean just some relationship based on some intrinsic chemistry, not based on other factors. To get there, you need to show people who you are, otherwise people won't know. Be open, be honest and admit your weaknesses.

That won't help. You need to get out there and talk to people. You will be awkward and make a fool of yourself but it's necessary.

get Netflix and watch everything in comedy and drama. Actors specifically project, so patterns will be easier to identify and replicate. Also look up method acting, learn how to do it, then just method act normal the rest of your life. Good luck.

>That won't help.
I think it will. Although direct socialization is absolutely necessary, it'll go much easier and faster if you're armed with a couple hundred pages of memorized responses.

I don't see why not. It's a skill like any other. Just that most people learned it naturally. Some are more talented at it. But you could still at least get average social skills through study + practice.

But the most important thing is experience. The hardest part is breaking through this circle. Almost every other person you would interact with will have years of social experience. Thanks to social media this is even harder since people will expect you to have an account with like 300 friends and photos of you with other people on vacations and parties.

What you need is some kind of "social skill internship".

No.

I understand more and more about dogs every single day. But try as I might, this hasn't yet caused me to turn into a dog.

You can't make a cat a dog.

...

D-did you just confess to being a cat?

Read that, didn't do anything for me.

I once read a psychology book when I was young that described typical social cues and body language that helped me out with this problem. If I can find a pdf or something I'll share it

To add to OPs question, is it worth it? I find it hard to care about other people. Not because I'm an edgelord, but because I don't really care about anything. Socializing can lead to connections, which are obviously very important... but why?

because it lead to a more happy life, we're social beings and having real friends is important for a good mental health.

people kill themselves because they can't stand being alone.

>people kill themselves because they can't stand being alone.
Really depends on the person. Might be true on average but then you've got the hermits and mystical recluses and whatnot, monks meditating in solitude for 20 years and shit. Plus I think voluntary solitude is different to imposed solitude. People liking you and wanting to be around you and you deciding you don't actually like them that much/waste of time is a very different scenario to being rejected by people who you very much want to be accepted by.

read this.

>People liking you and wanting to be around you and you deciding you don't actually like them that much/waste of time is a very different scenario to being rejected by people who you very much want to be accepted by.
Also you'll only ever hear of the latter kind really, since they'll probably kill themselves.

Not the same thing. The book doesn't help in everyday socialization and chit-chat.

understand how people work. i find a lot of the "irrationalities" are language based.

think about it, a complex communication system as in, well defined with lots of rules may be fun, but would suffer from low general compatibility with other peoples communication systems.

the normal system is at times very vague, as in.. (*clears his throat) the verbal outputs streams of humans don't always line up by literal meaning.
understanding that they're at times more determined to convey mood and contain little "fights" or "spats" of power or... just contain alot of nuance, makes it alot clearer.

the nuances are rarely literal, which is why literal understanding won't get to understanding them, but are quite orderly, since people there is actually alot of social norms.

..you'll get a feel for it, OP.

funny, because I just read a part on that book that deals with being a conversationalist.

>version2, my writing was too shitty
understand how people work! i find a lot of the "irrationalities" are language based.

think about it. a complex communication system as in, well defined with lots of rules may be fine for you, but would suffer from low general compatibility with other peoples communication systems.

the normal system is at times very vague, as in.. (*clears his throat) the verbal outputs streams of humans don't always line up by literal meaning.
understanding that they're not meant to, but are meant to convey mood and/or contain little "fights" or "spats" of power or... just contain alot of nuance, makes it alot clearer. the nuances are rarely literal, which is why literal understanding won't get to understanding them, but are quite orderly, since people communicate similarly because of social norms.

..you'll get a feel for it, OP.

the fact that emotions and impressions trump reason is kind of annoying though.