How do Brits make their tea?

Any kind depending on what your tastes are. Don't add too much though.

Use whatever suits you.

Don't use milk that's too creamy though.

Yeah but who has the time for that shit

>frogs aren't people

I like to use the teaspoon to see how strong the water is as it brews, once it reaches a rich deep golden brown colour its good, dont use too much milk or youll ruin it, keep that dark golden brown colour

>decent
>PG Tips
you absolute philistine even shop brand assam blends are better by far

Get a very nice cup.
Put it in the cupboard. This cup is for use ONLY if the Queen comes around.
Get a less nice cup at room temperature.
Start to boil water in your electric kettle. Use one that leaves the water with this weird hint of plastic if you can.
Add a spot of cold milk.
Get one tea bag from a box labelled 'tea'. Ideally there should be no information about the variety or the flavour.
Add hot water and a spoonful of white sugar.
Remove the teabag just the tea is starting to take on some colour.
Wait for the tea to become lukewarm.
Drink half of it.

Ideally you do this while reading a shitty newspaper that aligns exactly with your politics and it is drizzling outside and you have no beaches and crooked teeth and a shitty cricket team.

I think you're being too picky.

PG Tips is fine for a decent brew.

kek
You forgot to mention the sludge at the bottom of the mug after dunking with digestives.

Fuck, it's like I'm really there.

the most British post ITT

>>putting milk in first

Fucking southerner REEEEEEE

two teabags in a fine bone china cup, put saucer on top to stop heat from leaving, 5 minutes, take out teabags (don't squeeze or bitterness will ensue) add 2 teaspoons of sugar and a splash of milk. Dunk two dark chocolate digestives and drink up your sweet strong tea before it gets cold.

PROTIP: I once went to the Savoy for tea and their strongest brew tasted like flowery water. Their cakes were 'ard too. Strictly for ponces, guv.

fucking 5 star post. God, what a shit tier country. Even their supposed expertise in tea is vastly overestimated.

You've gotta get the brand right too. I'd say Tetleys but PG Tips is good too, it's all up to preference.

>implying the post wasn't made by a Brit

Cup your balls. This is the cupping part.
Hovering over a willing British participant, slowly lower yourself down until your ballsack goes at least partially into their mouth. This is the teabag part.
Relax and enjoy. The milk will come eventually

>2 mins

BEHEAD THOSE WHO DO NOT BREW THEIR TEA FOR THREE FULL MINUTES!

You need to let the water cool down a little after it boils. Dropping the teabag into boiling water ruins the tea.

Eating slices of cheese, lads

Faster and more efficient if you boil the water with teabags in it

do britishes actually do this?

I'm a five minute man myself

But yeah go Yorkshire teabags if you can find them OP best cheap and available tea in these isles.

Don't put the milk in til you're done steeping the tea as it fucks with the temperature, and only put in a tiny splash of milk. It shouldn't be any lighter than Will Smith

>let cool down a little

Is that the "little" in imperial or metric?

>boil water
>put either tea bag or tea strainer in mug
>use a good tea like Yorkshire or a reputable Assam
>pour in boiling water
>let steep for 2 minutes (unless you want "builder's tea" in which you can let it steep for a few minutes longer, but it will make a very strong, slightly bitter brew that you'll have to doctor with milk and sugar)
>Squeeze bag against side of cup and remove, or just remove strainer
>add a bit of milk if you like. Sugar is only for builder's tea or heathens.

Teabag in cup
Add boiling water
Stir and the squash bag on side of cup as you remove it
Add milk and sugar

It's nice and all how the brits do it, but if you want to go the 4000 year old Chinese route and brew gongfu cha style, here's how.

First, obtain a gaiwan. This is a lidded cup, anywhere from 60-150ml in capacity. Usually three pieces, a cup, a lid, and a saucer. Sometimes the saucer is omitted. This will run you $5-15 dollars for a factory made piece. You can of course spend more on handcrafted teawares.

With small gaiwans, you can omit a fairness cup (sometimes called cha hai or gong dao bei), but generally you will want one of these as well.

Your tea cup is quite small, generally around 20ml in capacity. You can use larger cups, but small ones have the advantage of letting you drink smaller, stronger, hotter cups of tea.

Boil cold water from the tap if you have good water, boil filtered / reverse osmosis water otherwise.
After it reaches a rolling boil, pour water into your gaiwan. Pour it out into your pitcher, then from the pitcher into your cup(s). This warms up your teaware so that subsequent pours are not cooled down by the container.

Now, add about 1g of loose leaf tea per 10-15ml of your gaiwan's capacity. For a 60ml, that's 4-6g, for a more standard 120ml, 6-10g. You can add less or more leaves to your taste. Generally as you drink more tea, you prefer it stronger.

Pour water in over your leaves, and pour it out into your pitcher, using the lid to keep the leaves from coming out, creating a small aperture through which the tea may exit. There are multiple ways to grip your gaiwan, the easiest to me is holding the lid's "hat" with your thumb, and the saucer resting in your palm and fingers, all three pieces gripped together. The pouring motion is a decisive 90 degree turn, at the speed of gravity's effect on the tea. Basically if you pour too slowly, it will run over the lip of the cup, onto your hand and burn you. Pour quickly and with decisive motion.

This is just your first rinse, to awaken the leaves and remove some of the initial astringency.

Is Yorkshire Gold cool with you guys?

To continue...

Pour from the pitcher into your cups, discarding the water previously in them. Now empty the tea from the cups and pitcher. You're ready to brew.

Now repeat the procedure, pouring water into the gaiwan. You don't need to steep long, maybe 5-10s for this first steep. Pour into your pitcher. Pour into your cup. Raise it to your nose. Smell it. Enjoy the aroma, the earthiness. Think of how far this tea has traveled to arrive in your cup in this moment. Sip and enjoy. Repeat as desired, adding additional time to each steep until the leaves no longer possess a desirable effect.

sounds gay and sounds like a massive amount of work

Takes less than 2 minutes.

just get one of these

This lets tannins in the tea and makes it more bitter. You fucks are shitty at making tea.

you sound like a boring normalfag

Suboptimal. Doesn't allow room for the leaves to expand. There are strainers that do, this just isn't one of them. Poor design.

You need to add milk, not adding milk is not an option for English Tea. I have never met anyone ever who drinks english tea without milk.

Sure, if you're drinking green / herbal tea no milk makes sense but English tea is made to be drunk with milk.

Where do you live lol

>white people can't brew loose tea without a basket or strainer

If I'm in a hurry I use 2 tea bags so I don't have to wait

Why even boil the water then?

What are you on about

You're not going to absolutely stuff the thing with leaves, how could they not expand?

Tannins are great.

One day you will drink Australian Afternoon tea brewed in water pulled from a river that just leaches tannins from the surrounding plants all day and you'll learn.

That's coffee you turd. Black tea can be served with 95-100C water.

>all these (((brits))) itt telling op to used tea bags
how do you even function

>he thinks tea shouldnt be bitter

...

>chocolate and milk

Kill all brits, you guys can't even get your own "" "speciality "" " right for fuck sake.

>pick up kettle
>fill kettle
>realise you filled kettle past the Maximum point
>pour excess water onto spider plant on windowsill
>put kettle on
>go to lounge to retrieve favourite mug
>rinse with mildly warm water
>watch the rain outside while you dry mug with dish cloth
>get Yorkshire tea bag out of tea/coffee/squash/medicine cupboard
>put in mug
>contemplate stopping kettle early because it's already steaming and rattling slightly
>obviously don't because you're still somewhat sane
>wait for the click
>immediately pour boiling water into mug, splashing a good amount on the work surface
>pretend you know a secret way of getting the most out of your teabag by pouring the water directly through it
>go to spoon drawer
>realise there are no spoons
>go to drying rack at sink to get spoon
>blame the missus for misplaced spoons
>move teabag about a bit
>smoosh it against the side
>decide that smoosh wasn't neat enough, go for another smoosh
>move bag around a bit
>go get red milk
>one final smoosh, remove teabag now firmly adhered to spoon
>bin teabag, leave spoon on side to spite the missus
>splash of milk, watch it do its thing
>realise it won't stir itself, go get spoon again
>draw a line with spoon to mix in milk
>admire how dark it is despite having milk in, silently brag to yourself how good you are at making tea and how manly your preference for strong tea is
>chuck spoon in sink
>bring mug into lounge
>take a sip
>remind yourself you're an idiot because that's literally just boiling water you tried to drink and you deserve the burnt tongue you just got
>fall asleep watching Take Me Out and let tea go stone cold
>throw it down the sink

God save the queen takes on a whole new meaning.

Very similar to the Irish method

But don't amerikettles the 15 minutes to boil because muh 110v

"There is a very simple principle to the making of tea and it's this - to get the proper flavour of tea, the water has to be boiling (not boiled) when it hits the tea leaves. If it's merely hot then the tea will be insipid. That's why we English have these odd rituals, such as warming the teapot first (so as not to cause the boiling water to cool down too fast as it hits the pot). And that's why the American habit of bringing a teacup, a tea bag and a pot of hot water to the table is merely the perfect way of making a thin, pale, watery cup of tea that nobody in their right mind would want to drink. The Americans are all mystified about why the English make such a big thing out of tea because most Americans have never had a good cup of tea. That's why they don't understand. In fact the truth of the matter is that most English people don't know how to make tea any more either, and most people drink cheap instant coffee instead, which is a pity, and gives Americans the impression that the English are just generally clueless about hot stimulants.
Go to Marks and Spencer and buy a packet of Earl Grey tea. Go back to where you're staying and boil a kettle of water. While it is coming to the boil, open the sealed packet and sniff. Careful - you may feel a bit dizzy, but this is in fact perfectly legal. When the kettle has boiled, pour a little of it into a tea pot, swirl it around and tip it out again. Put a couple (or three, depending on the size of the pot) of tea bags into the pot. Bring the kettle back up to the boil, and then pour the boiling water as quickly as you can into the pot. Let it stand for two or three minutes, and then pour it into a cup. Some people will tell you that you shouldn't have milk with Earl Grey, just a slice of lemon. Screw them. I like it with milk. If you think you will like it with milk then it's probably best to put some milk into the bottom of the cup before you pour in the tea."
-Douglas Adams
Had to be trimmed for the character limit

boil water
wait 4 mins
pour water over tea bag (English breakfast) and a small dollop of condensed milk (or just a dash of full cream milk and one teaspoon of sugar)
wait 2 mins
consume within 8 mins and 15 seconds.

Teabag

Hot water

Milk

Two sugars

Remove teabag

If anyone tells you different they're probably a fucking paki

>if American
>get this tea
>use only free range water
>walk around house saying "I say old chap" while water boils
>pour water into mug with teabag
>walk around the house for 5 minutes saying, "bit of a cock up in the Yankee White House, isn't it mate?"
>take teabag out and add some milk, bit of sugar
>walk around the house sipping tea, saying "I guess it's not Arsenal's season" or some other soccer crap
>fall asleep on couch watching Coronation Street or Dr. Who reruns

>boil kettle
>pop teabag in
>stir
>take teabag out after a couple of minutes if you want, i leave mine in

Don't listen to these cucks

Put the milk in first, then teabag, then boiling water

>how do the brits brew tea?

>REEEEEE YOU MUST RESPECT MUH 40000000 YEAR OLD CULTURE
>*totures dog*
>IF YOU DON'T BREW IT JUST LIKE THIS YOU MIGHT AS WELL DRINK PISS
>*soaks egg in the urine of a 10 year old boy*
>YOU MUST MEASURE EXACTLY 1.01101 GRAMS OF LEAF WITH A TRADITIONAL SEE SAW SCALE
>*gets addicted to opium*
>NOW YOU MUST PERFORM THE TEA BREWING DANCE WHILE CHANTING "CHING CHONG, TEA NOT LONG, JUST LIKE PEE PEE IN MY THONG"
>*autisticly ching chongs*

looks like someone can't appreciate a nice, plump grapefruit

But it's only possible to fill one of the hemispheres.

OP is asking how people with jobs brew their tea.

What's with all these poofs brewing their tea for 2 or 3 minutes? You're basically drinking hot sugary water, not tea.

t. 6 minute man

Something like assam, sure
Anything more delicate and it's going to be fucking disgusting

>use a proper teabag
>teabag
If that's what you brits really do you're real fucking degenerates.
Russian here, the only time I'd even consider drinking bagged is when I'm away from home without a proper brewing pot, and even then I can just get one of those cups with an in-built strainer.
It's very little effort for an astronomical increase in tea taste and quality.

Tea shouldn't be bitter.
Tea should be astringent.
If you can't tell the two apart please stick to soda.

>Dropping the teabag into boiling water ruins the tea.
depends on the kind of tea, black tea can't be ruined by too hot water

They can, but upon seeing the savages leave the leaves at the bottom of the mug they thought "this can easily be improved upon" and so invented the modern tea strainer.

Why do brown people never seek to improve without being pushed by whitey?

>Russian here
Please annotate your posts with this gem right at the beginning, so I can stop reading immediately.

They use teabags and milk, which confirms that they don't know shit about tea. Same as most Americans drinking stale Folgers saw dust from a dirty ass Mr. Coffee machine

Oi oi, m8. blood senpai blood senpai blood senpai

Buy PG Tips

>"" "speciality "" "
but tea isn't special. It isn't revered in any way shape or form in england.
There's no faggotry, ritual or ceremonial routine involved with its preparation or consumption. Its an unpretentious hot drink for the masses.
You fags are retards if you think tea is something only hipster gaylords like you can enjoy properly.
Pull you head out your ass

Like a lawn improves a garden

I go balls to the wall and dunk my hand directly into the boiling water to fish out the teabags.
I then crush the excess liquid from the teabags using a clenched fist.
Then I drink it straight out of the pot at 200° F with no milk and no sugar because I'm not a fruitcake.

This is the only manly way to consume tea.

I bet you thought this was real funny when you were typing this out

Never add the milk or sugar before the tea... Or everybody will die from the horror and you'll look like Mongolid

British tea is shit
make it Japanese/Chinese style if you actually care.

>Get a less nice cup at room temperature
no shit, where do you keep your cups? the fucking freezer? mine are always room temperature

i've been doing it wrong. i've been getting the cafe au lait/"high yellah" look

I will teach you how to make prison tea (actually it's syberian), or "chifir"
>usually a "dose" for one is a filled matchbox of tea, which is around 5-6 bags
>you will need a small pot with a lid and a glass of water (0,2l)
>heat up water until it's boiling on the highest possible heat
>without lowering the heat, drop the tea in
>let it sit on the highest heat for a minute and 2 on the lowest
>after that throw a spoon of sugar in (optional), put the lid on and immediately wrap it in a blanket in preferably 3 layers, throw a pillow on top just to make sure
>after 15 minutes unwrap the pot and pour the dark-brown liquid into a cup
>if there's residue in the pot throw it out or keep it to brew some more "poison", but out of the pot
>you should have 0,1l of chifir in the cup. put it back in the pot and heat it up - then put it back in the cup
>drink

Modern Irish are just Brits with a bit of an accent.

≥get warm bath water
≥put it in a mug
≥english tea

>start make British style tea
>bridge on the river kwai starts playing

Buttmad slope detected

You eat the teabag

underrated (apart from the red milk bit - wife got you on a diet?)

>Scoop water from a freshly flushed toilet
>Leave lipton teabag sitting in it for at least 10 minutes
>Add three cups of milk to cover up the raw sewage taste
Brits don't know shit about tea, go buy a french press and some loose leaf.

>go buy a french press
consider suicide