Can someone greentext the hooters experience for me...

Can someone greentext the hooters experience for me? I want to know what it's like to eat at restaurants because I don't get out much. I would also like to know what IHOP is like these days.

The wings are pretty good and most of the girls are pretty, but the name "Hooters" is false advertising these days. Most don't go past B cups.

> be me
> go to Hooters
> girls have big tits and short shorts
> for some reason they have to wear skin colored pantyhose
> watching this pretty girl bring wings around
> get aroused
> start masturbating under the table in secret
> my friend told the waitress it was my birthday
> get brought up to dance on stools
> whole restaurant sees my giant boner
> cry in shame the entire ride home.

>walk in to hooters
>holy shit these chicks have barely covered racks
>sit down
>order food
>eat shitty overpriced food
>waitresses do a little dance routine at 8pm
>get another $7 shitty beer to stay for show
>show fails hard
>leave with disappointment hanging heavy from my heart
>or maybe that's just the greasy food announcing that I'll have the runs by midnight
m'lady

>go to hooters
>holy shit
>these owls have huge tits
wings are meh

>be me
>be in vegas with friend
>go to the hooters casino because your friend hypes shit up beyond belief for himself and wants to go to hooters
>get "okay" wings and drink hooterade, which actually isn't half-bad considering it helps you forget the overly cheery and friendly waitress
>like fuck you've been walking all day and didn't even get to see the blue man group just go away so you can drink in peace
>proceed to play blackjack with a dealer who is clearly uninterested in even attempting to show you how to play despite mentioning that you've never played before
>waste 30 bucks on the slots and head back to your hotel room which is on the other end of the strip from where you are
>let your friend go off to the strip club because you're tired but make him keep in touch
>fap
>fall asleep at 10 because you worked a shit night shift job for the past year and a half and cant stay up past 9 really without feeling tired
>be woken up at midnight by your friend asking to borrow 100 dollars so he can go back to the strip club
>give him the money and go back to sleep
>wake up at 8 and munch on leftover hooters wings

6/10 overall, really

>> girls have big tits
You've never been to a Hooters, have you?

the ihop by me has a constantly rotating staff because they keep doing heroin at work

Live in SoCal.

you know it's getting bad when all the sober rednecks work at waffle house

IHOP

>You are fat
>everyone is fat
>everyone is eating gigantic plates of pancakes
>the waiter is on the phone with somebody speaking spanish
>the food is okay, I guess
>you look into the back and see someone slugging a tallboy in front of a griddle
>it's amazing how badly somebody missed in the bathroom
>when the time to leave comes someone needs to get the wheelbarrow because for some reason you just ate 4 pancakes covered in the sugariest syrup known to man

It's better than Denny's though

omelets are mixed with pancake batter to make them fluff up.

>go to hooters
>girls are all pissed off if you go after 8PM
>Overpriced food on everything
>Drink prices for well drinks are OKAY
>order food
>it's fast food quality
>get drunk
>leave
>realize I spent 40 bucks at a shit bar and tacobell tier food

Not sure why, but Hooters in Florida has much better wings than any I've been to outside of the state.
Girls are consistently mediocre unless the place is near a state school
At least in FL, wings are superior to any of the other chain sports bars if there's a game I want to watch.

Yeah but Hooters casino has $3 and $5 blackjack which is difficult as hell to find on or near the strip. Also blackjack is easy what the hell is wrong with you

>waitress is wearing a lot of makeup; 6/10
>Paying for college with Hooters
>Pantyhose and socks are cringe worthy
>Push-up bras
>Order beer and wings
>Give a 3 dollar tip on a $12 bill
>Go back 4 months later

>go to IHOP
>hair in every single dish

I remember not having been to an IHOP for that reason in 8 years. Then I cracked because I wanted pancakes and boy howdy guess what was holding my eggs together?

IHOP

>go to ihop
>everyone looks pissed
>niggers and spics everywhere
>White trash letting all their kids run around
>see niggers bring in kids just to "eat free"
>wait staff always looks like they want to murder you
>get food
>It's passable(omelets are 10/10 though)
>get bill
>could have just gotten mcdonalds all day breakfast
>shit something out hours later that was considered "food"

Blackjack is one of the easiest games to get cleaned out on in Vegas. That and Poker.

>go to hooters
>be kinda Veeky Forums
>girl basically acts bleh around you
>hogs the tables with all the old men at it acting slutty as possible
>service is crap unless I sit at the bar


EVERY

FUCKING

TIME

It may be easy to understand, but when the bitch starts splitting cards and you have no idea what the fuck is going on then your mood begins to change

I don't know. Being at Denny's at 4 in the morning is a kind of a zen experience.

>go to Hooters alone
>have some fried pickles, wings, and a cocktail
>leave a 20% tip
>go back a few weeks later for fried pickles and a cocktail after work
>waitresses are nice, leave a 20% tip

mfw I go to Hooters for fried pickles because I'm an adult and if I want to see tits and have a woman pretend she likes me I can go to an actual strip club

>thinking hooters waitresses work for anything other than fat tips

you probably look too young to have money

Yeah when I went to Vegas I spent a full day just playing blackjack in the Hooters casino and drinking. They have low minimums and favorable rules. 10/10 would do again.

>be english
>dont go to hooters

at least we have taco bell now.

well I'll be damned, theres one hooters in england.

why is it in fucking nottingham?

this is the appropriate answer

also, their wings are really damn good if you ask them to mix the 911 sauce with the regular sauce. if you're extra lucky you'll get an old negro cook who's been there a while and knows the correct sauce ratio.

last time i went to hooters i ran into a girl that use to be fucking awesome in highschool.
she was no longer awesome.
i got talked into going to a strip club maybe a year or so later buy a bunch of friends that came to town for a couple of weeks and the girl was there looking like a straight junkie.
this bitch was handling peoples food a year or so ago. ugh.

Blessed be the California breast implants.

>well I'll be damned
Probably.

>why is it in fucking nottingham?
The whole Robin Hood thing fits with the main theme of Hooters restaurants.

>>fall asleep at 10 because you worked a shit night shift job for the past year and a half and cant stay up past 9 really without feeling tired
Grave yard shift is the absolute worst even though I usually stay up during that time of night

Afternoon shift is where it's at though

IHOP:

>walk in
>no one greets you for 3-5 minutes
>get seated
>all the waitresses are black or latina
>all the families are bmwf with a bunch of mixed kids
>waitress takes your drink order promptly but doesn't come back with your water for seven minutes
>you order a dish of pancakes
>when you get them, they are some weird kind of spongy, not really soft like normal pancakes, more like an actual dish sponge
>you spread on the whipped butter and choose your syrup: you have maple, strawberry, boisenberry, or butter pecan to choose from. All are equally overloaded with sugar.
>you put a bite of pancake in your mouth
>it tastes sterile and is not warm or fluffy
>the sausage links you got with your breakfast are pink in the middle but when you point it out to the waitress, she "takes them back to the kitchen" and never brings them back to you
>the eggs that came with your breakfast are rubbery and cold
>you never come back to ihop

Luckily you spent less than ten dollars on that awful food, or you'd be legitimately pissed.