>"Sam Coll was born in 1989, in Dublin, Ireland. He graduated in English and Art History from Trinity College Dublin in 2011 and later obtained a Masters degree in Anglo-Irish literature, writing his dissertation on Samuel Beckett and sentimentality."
Excerpt from debut novel:
>"He had been dreaming of the cats when the scratching of the dog at his door awoke him. He awoke, by degrees and blearily, to find himself ensconced on his couch, awash with a medley of tins and tang of staling booze, his mobile phone numbly clutched in his porky palm, the metal now wet with the sweat of his clasp, glistening from the slimy balm that fell from every oozing pore all over the skin of his body. For he had fallen asleep in the midst of a message he had been typing, with no small struggle (so fat were his fingers, so tiny the keys), intended for Arsene, which so far read:"
Irishfag here, nobody, fucking nobody talks like this. It sounds like he's trying to do an impression of a James Joyce recording which I suppose is a summary of his life
Liam Hernandez
Ree get the fuck off my board hemingway carver fags are the fucking scum of this earth just fucking go write a story for the new yorker and stop shitting up my board theres nothing """""purple"""" about descriptive writing fuck off iceberg theory scum just leave reeeeee
Gabriel Phillips
I'm Irish and everybody I know talks like this. Are ya from Mayo or some shite?
Henry Price
Didn't you make this thread a couple of days ago, Sam?
Elijah Thompson
>When it is put to him that this is a madcap university novel he bristles at the thought before telling of his own brush with the Trinity authorities. >It happened as a result of an idea he had for a short play involving an ailing Jonathan Swift. It grew into an unhealthy obsession as he envisaged Michael Gambon playing the part. “Gambon has this problem at the moment, he can’t remember his lines. So I figured the perfect part for him… Michael Gambon in a rocking chair, he has one line. Playing the old Swift rocking back and forth, saying: ‘I am what I am… I am what I am.’ Surrounded by a thousand other voices speaking lines from Swift’s other works.” >“All Sir Michael has to say is one line, it’d be an experimental half-hour with film… He’s already played Churchill with a stroke. He’s doing a series of great men in decline, so it would work.” >His compulsion for the idea became excessive and this culminated in him losing his temper in the Players Theatre. He was shouting and roaring trying to convey his idea in completely the wrong fashion. >“I got possessed with it. I got aggressive in my means of trying to convey it to people. Stupid… I’m ashamed of it in retrospect. But the only solution is to stay out of Trinity.” >This incident led to him being banned from the college campus. He’s quick to point out the cynical showbiz angle that could be taken from the story: >“This novel is the Trinity book, by a Trinity student, who can’t enter Trinity!!”
Woah... he's so passionate and eccentric!
Christian Martinez
I'm adding just another bump to get this thread really going lads.
Buy the book now on Waterstones, Amazon or any other significant retailer of reading materials.
Ayden Howard
Here I am just ever so gently bumping this thread once more
Nathaniel Gray
A mere bump among bumps
Dominic Myers
why are you here
Jacob Torres
I'm here to bump, my dear friend
Charles Perry
I'm not going anywhere bub. That prose is clearly fucking purple.
>encsonced
Not necessary. What would be so wrong with "He awoke, by degrees and blearily, to find himself on his couch"? Ensconced implies comfortable, which couches generally are by default. He awoke with discomfort, then that could be forgivably pointed out.
>porky palm
Why not just "in the palm of his hand"? Feels like forced alliteration. If the character is fat, there are better ways to show it than in holding his mobile phone - which fucking anyone can do. For example, he could be shown wheezing as he climbs a flight of stairs - something that the average man would have no problem with.
>sweat of his clasp
It sounds like the writer was trying too hard to avoid repetition of the word 'palm'. He could have cut things down and wrong "his mobile phone numbly(?) clutched in his sweaty palm." The use of the word 'numbly', it occurs to me, is also stupid here - 'numb' refers more to sensation (or lack thereof) than the strength of an action, or in this case, grasp. Why not "his mobile phone clutched limply/feebly in his sweaty palm"?
>sweaty palm >oozing pore
We get it, the guy's fucking sweaty. Talk about dragging it out.
Purple. As. Fuck.
Kevin Clark
Idk why I laughed at that. Here's a consolation bump.
Jose Powell
Yet he is published while you my friend are not. Enjoy demeaning others on this forum for the rest of your life, my friend.
Michael Young
Yeah by a tiny ass independent nobody press, in fucking Ireland of all places. Colour me impressed Paper is cheap, nothing impressive about being published today
Isaac Thompson
Not quite, my ignorant companion. His book is also to be published in the UK, likely by Faber or another large publishing house. If only your talent matched your bitterness! Alas.
Evan Russell
>His book is also to be published in the UK, likely by Faber or another large publishing house.
Yeah I'll believe it when I see it Sammy
Owen Walker
>He awoke, by degrees and blearily, to find himself on his couch, awash with a medley of tins and (the) tang of staling booze, his mobile phone clutched feebly in the palm of his hand
Holy shit, it does read better.
Being published doesn't mean shit in this day and age.
Caleb Rogers
Ya obviously have neigh ken bout the Irish publishing scene laddy. Shame it is to be you. Great shame in-deed.
Dylan Gutierrez
Getting published now is more difficult than ever I'll think ye'll find, oh young one.
Good keks indeed. It's an hilarious book. I'd recommend that you buy it now!
Jacob Campbell
Stop it.
Jaxon Barnes
This sounds very nice, though it is a bit purple I admit, could do with a few less adjectives.
Camden Mitchell
>Yet he is published while you my friend are not Are you sure about that?
Julian Flores
>born in 1989 He's only a year older than me and looks like he's 40?
Parker Sanders
Ulillillia is self-published, that doesn't count.
Charles Nelson
Too much genius takes a tole on a man
Nathan Williams
Why are you pretending to be Irish?
sounds like he's doing a Michael D impression.
Your book is shite sam
Nathaniel Stewart
I notice this thread has not been bumped as I imagined it might. Let's get bumping friends.
Bump.
Lincoln Adams
so do inbred Irish genes
Thomas Kelly
>le purple prose is bad meme
Jaxson Wilson
It's really not purple, flowery or descriptive or busy maybe but it is not purple. It's clear you don't know what you're talking about, your long green text laden post says very little.
Adam Robinson
Yes, it is.
Flowery or descriptive or busy is fine. It's clear as day however that OP's author is using as many adjectives as he can for the sake of using them, which is the definition of purple.
As it happens, the post you're quoting says more than almost any other post ITT, and most of it is constructive.
Isaac Cox
>making threads on Veeky Forums to promote yourself
Cooper Thompson
This nigger is year older than me and yet looks like he's 50. Is this what living under protestant unjust control is like?
James Ward
>long green text laden Author ease-ladenly detected
Isaiah Scott
The best authors wrote purple prose.
Tyler Gomez
But I am not.
Adam Phillips
Dude looks like he performed cosmetic surgery on himself using only his fists.
