Why is getting published so hard? I'm sending a novel to agents, short stories to various journals/magazines...

Not OP, but here is the first page from a middle chapter of a story I'm finishing right now. Any pointers?

Reminds me of TLoTiaT. Not sure if there's a marke/publishert for it, but the over the top vice can be interesting. Cool style, I guess

Your novel sucks.

>TLoTiaT
Just learning of this now. Thanks!
Here is the following page.
Can continue if you so desire.

>why yes, I HAVE read Infinite Jest. How'd you know?

That is actually quite unintentional, although I there are worse works to accidentally evoke. Can you point on some specific parallels you see?

far too wordy, the "subject - verb - object" sentence structure is exhaustively repetitive, the character waking up is a cliche, far too much passive voice, you mix your tenses up too in a way that is confusing. mixing up tenses can artful, but here its just hap-hazard. this was just 5 minutes of looking over your excerpt. god knows what kind of mess your novel is in.

there are smaller publishers that might be willing to put to print more dense styles like whatever you seem to aspire towards, but you'd have to establish some credibility before anyone would do that for you.

publishing is ultimately about profit. theres a margin for discretion when it comes to art or style, but it is thin, especially so for green, cold-calling authors like yourself. dont take rejection personally.

>far too much passive voice,
I welcome your other insights, But I am genuinely curious about this statement.

>god knows what kind of mess your novel is in.
It is actually nearing final edit, and will be released early 2017.

I wouldn't ever have been published if I hadn't formed relationships with practicing writers, my regional writers guild and its mgmt, people who own and operate publishing houses, literary agents, etc.

I'm not saying quality means nothing, but I'd focus more on making connections if I were you.

I really like it, would deffinitely read the whole book, sounds interesting, your writing is smooth and exciting, rhythmic, flowy, nice word choices, intelligence and philosophical; and because I have not read infinite jest, though now that other user mentioned I do see some of the 'aboveness' of dfw, I thought of commenting before I read that dfw comparison, of who your style reminded me of, but then I immediately realized that is the most disrespectful and snarky dismissive thing to do to an 'artiste' (I mean, being compared to greats cant hurt at all, but the general, just saying 'oh yeah, you paint/write/music just like _________ so like,,, you are not original, you just copy, there is no reason to consume your art, its not worthy of mention) but now that they said who you remind them of I was thinking Vonnegut, but definitely more suave university intellectual

I assume partly that other user 'yes I HAVE' may have been just entirely joking trolling and does not know much about lit, and is just saw big words and compared you to king intelligentsia meme.. but again, I havent even read infinite jest.

too many big words. use the simplest language you can to convey an idea.

wowowowow this is such good advice!!!!!!! Tell me, have u read Jorge Orville-Redenbacher? I think he had a similar suggestion.....,,,,,..,...

Well thanks, that is encouraging.
>'aboveness' of dfw
I will look at his prose and see if are there any cosmetic modifications I can make.

The story has been a lot of fun to write, and has been through a few drafts at this point. Just met with my editor and she recommended I read "Glamorama" which I was unfamilar with.

here is the first page of story. As you can see there are a few different characters and different perspectives.

This is sadly true. Who you know and who you blow makes a lot of the world go round.

I blame the jews and you.

What is C?
What is a geodesic?
How does an adobe sphere look like?
>bloated with cloned down and stacked matching pilows
are you saying they look the same?
>welcome to the plesuredome
tell me more about doctor who. really do you expect people to google everything or be as pretentious as this character?
>succulent objects
its like you are trying to offend my ears.
>having a character named pleasure
even if the story is all about sex and sex toys, it just comes of as garbage. like some old kiss comics or sex criminals comic
>hex shaped mattress
I get that you are trying to make every design into eye cancer but is there no way to spare the reader?
>stimfarme, etc
cluttering a work with stuff like that is a sign that there is not much constant without the smoke screen. also why do you constantly go in and out of exposition?
>pornocracy
please tell me you are not the guy who posted about porn guy vs gay mafia. I liked his idea and I don't like this so it would be a shame if you are him.
>the other
Why are they telling each other information that they both know?
>words are a full body mirror, skewered ephemera of my neurons
pretentious. how to say nothing with maximum amount of words.
>sweet and hot and uniform
? why no , there and why are there constant full stops?
>I want it to slaver on me
what? Do you mean "I want to slather it on me" or something like that?

>Do more C
>Do more H
my speedballin nigga

>That I am surprised to have not seen it before

I know this is bait, but shit grammar there mate. Not gonna get published sounding like a retard. It should read along the lines of "that I am surprised to have not seen before".

>same.
full stop?
>about a size of man's eye
I clumsy spot to convey that at. happens to me as well. Why not try "I quickly palm the eye like black orb" or something like that( of the top of my head)
>version
or vision?
>mid circle
Why not just mid flight?
>topped
how can you be topped in a virile elder beard?
>aye, father, I had gotten so far ahead in my chores, and I had begun to tire." thou were immersed for but a few minutes, Stimming last season's torrid highlights.
?
>thou have surely earned a moment's rest
I think this is the first correct use of Thou I have seen on this page. all the thous seem less tecno Amish and more like failed ye old english renaissance faire

This is a little more the level of feedback I was anticipating.

This page, as explained, is mid-story. Many of these terms are explained earlier in the story. It is a little jargon intense, and I didn't put in much hand holding.
>its like you are trying to offend my ears.
This tells me more about the reader, and that I have managed to create something offiensive, which is kind of fun.
>character named pleasure
It's Plesuré, like Pezh-uh-RAY. It is an intentionally "old kiss comics or sex criminals comic" type name, in fact.
>constantly go in and out of exposition?
This is actually an interesting question.
I'm still finding that balance between showing, and explaining.
>"The other"
This transition shows the characters telepathic abilities, in which she shows that they are of the same mind.
>slaver
Actually, yes. Slather was the exact word I was looking for.
Most of the stuff I will disregard as stylistic nit-picking, but I do appreciate your reading this draft. I'll be sure to put you on my "Special Thanks" page.

Glad that came through!

This is actually a typo.
Thanks!

>But I am genuinely curious about this statement.

Not him, but it's just a general writing advice to avoid passive voice and write in the active voice instead. It's just more forceful and less wordy.

>version or vison
Version seems to fit better. Version, like a copy, or an imitation.
>Mid Flight
Mid Circle conveys the looping graphic of the fake crow image. It isn't' actually flying, it's circling.
>Topped in an Elder beard.
It is part of his head decor, like the hat, also topping him.
>correct use of Thou I have seen on this page.
Thou is just an archaic synonym for "You." Sometimes "thee" is appropriate, and there are a range of other instances, as referred to in this handy chart.
>Techno Amish
That is a cool word pairing, thanks!

I guess I was looking for specific usages where I had used passive voice. Upon re-reading I see the stylized tense-shifts (intentional), but not the passive voice examples.

>Pezh-uh-RAY
I got this. I never pass up the opportunity to subvocalize black-sounding names
Confusing "slather" and "slaver" ishygddt though, you some kinda brit?

>"slather" and "slaver"
I hadn't really thought about the spelling, and remembered lots of Robert E. Howard stories with "Slavering maws" Of course, that was actual retardation, and the word was Slathering the whole time. Basic typo.

You ever heard of artists going the straight route for 10+ years before going experimental? That's what you need to do.

If you only knew, user, if you only knew.

>Slavering maws
No, that's correct

Holy crap, it is supposed to slaver. I led that other user's lack of English skills effect my edit. Last time I let that happen.

There's already a sequel to Neuromancer, mate

Little do you know, it's a novelization of the unfilmed sequel to Strange Days.

Mona Lisa Overdrive was not great.

>effect my edit.
effect (v) to make happen
affect (v) to change/impact
effect (n) a result
affect (n) demeanor, mannerisms

I like the layers of this post.

>Why is getting published so hard?
I'm not going to read any of the responses here because they're probably all completely wrong.

To publishers literature is not art.

You are simply not accounting for their agenda. You are probably too afraid to place a guess anywhere near the truth of the matter. You have probably spent your whole life repeating over and over to yourself that the real truth couldn't possibly be true. That it's crazy, it's insane; only "those" people think like that; just look at them, they are miserable failures. Nothing they think could be right.

The simple truth is that literature exists to massage peoples' minds to open up to the pressures all around them. To catalyze their assimilation to their masters' will. Literature exists to conform minds. It exists to destroy souls. It exists to refine slavery.

Basically all you utterly worthless pieces of shit in human form that want to be "writers" are already dead. You've been dead since birth. You will never achieve anything because you are so absolutely ignorant of reality that nothing, not a single thing you do, makes any difference to what will last in this world.

Mass murder is all around you. It confronts your perception at all times. You are one of the victims. You are already dead.