Your most visited grocery store has a raffle and you win a 2 minute shopping dash...

>fill entire kart with nectarines

First minute, fill my cart with as many cucumbers, carrots, and eggplants as I can grab.
Second minute, shovel the entire shelf of petroleum jelly into the cart.
Tell them not to worry about it.

The most expensive stuff I tend to buy is meat, so I'd probably head there first and get lots of beef. It's pretty expensive per calorie so I could get a lot and likely get through it all before it goes bad and is probably the most cost effective for "free".

I think eating all the food you get before it spoils on a spree would be tough, so even though it's cheap, I'd grab lots of rice, beans, and lentils because they'll last and I'd not have to buy any more for ages (and they're also right next to each other in the aisle). Probably flour/yeast, too, though yeast tends to not last more than a year for me.

I could maaaybe end up taking most of the spice section on my way from the rice to the flour, but I'd grab lots of salt at the very least.

Produce is good and all, but no point in buying lots with how quickly it goes bad.

My grocery store only has weak liquor, so it's borderline not worth it; I doubt I could do more than the above in two minutes anyway.

Relatively boring choices, but it'd save me tons of money and I'm confident I could do it in 2 minutes.

I skip the cart and run through every isle knocking everything off the shelves.

I'd stock up on hair dye, pantyhose and dentabones. Also, I'd try to grab a case or 2 of grape Fanta.

all of the batteries so i can sell them on ebay

Chocolate then chips.
Mby pop since same isle

I don't even drink pop id just sell it and most of the chips since they would sell easily

nymag.com/news/features/tide-detergent-drugs-2013-1/

I would go directly to the dry nuts aisle and load up on expensive brazil nuts, macadamia nuts, pecans, etc then head over to the baker's aisle and shove all the good quality chocolate bars and bars into my cart and then on the way back swing by the cereal aisle and grab as many boxes as I could before it was over.

Die midwesterners.

>the manager strategically places you at the entrance furthest from the alcohol.
>implying that's a disadvantage
Liquids are fucking heavy. If I start by the meats and then make my way over to the alcohol then I am pushing less weight and can get there faster in order to load up before the buzzer.

>manager strategically places you at the entrance furthest from the alcohol
Go for that shit anyway. Then go for some canned goods and frozen shit if there's time leftover.

I dunno about you, but I'm not entirely sure I'd want my town to know me as the guy who used his shopping dash to horde hungry mans, tinned chilli and whiskey.

Who gives a fuck

motherfucking crab legs. At my grocer the expensive cheese is between the entrance and the crab legs, so as i pass i'm gonna drag their whole parmesan display into the cart. I'm not sure if those cheese wheels are still good or not, but I know for a fact that they're real.

liquor

I'd head to the nice cheese/olives/hummus section,clean it out, and grab a few sacks of onions on my way. I'd have enough time to make it to the meat section and snag at least a few months worth of meat. If I was allowed to smash the deli casings I'd grab a bunch of turkeys and hams.

>get whatever it is you want

all reserves of oxi instock behind the pharmacy desk. would be able to spin it at a really good price i imagine

>run to cheese section
>hoist three or four whole wheels into cart
>run to canned goods
>100 cans of Ro-Tel diced tomatoes and chilies

>specialty cheeses (brie, d'affinois, cambozola, smokehouse blue, and espresso bellevitano)
>seafood (crab legs, shrimp, lobster tails, sea scallops)
>wine and tequila
They're all right next to each other, one after the other.
I'd also grab all of the prosciutto they have.

Depending on how much time I had left, I might run a few aisles over to the candy and sweep all of the specialty chocolate bars into my cart.

I think realistically I could get a thousand dollars of product or more in two short minutes.

straight to the cash registers

>, the manager strategically places you at the entrance furthest from the alcohol.

thats right infront of the electronics for me, i just start piling up the 4k 120hz curved tvs on my cart fort 2 minutes

I'd stop at the truffle bar and just ask them to fill a bag with white alba truffles

After that I'd walk over to the seafood section and clean out the caviar case

That should about cover the 2 minutes and I've got enough to get a sartory bow

>go directly to cash register
>stuff cart with a few thousand € full of cigarettes

This thread really makes me miss Supermarket Sweep

youtube.com/watch?v=UBUM0fM2Qdc

i have a really awesome fruit shop I got to all the time run by italians, so it's got all sort of nice oils, vinegars, cheeses, breads etc, it's got a nice deli too
would probably go and grab all that kind of stuff, palettes of tinned tomatoes, sausages and cold cuts, all kinds of herbs and spices, just lots of super nice semi obscure italian/mediterannean shit too really

Do you shop at delis? Realistically, the best most supermarkets can do is offer truffle oil or paste.

>Do you shop at delis?
I don't understand the relevance. Isn't this a grocery store discussion?
>Realistically, the best most supermarkets can do is offer truffle oil or paste.
You can tell what the truffles look like because they look like truffles, and they have a sign that says "truffles" in front of them. Truffle oil has nothing to do with truffles and I'm not sure why you're bringing it up.

I'd go for the peanuts, bacon/teriyaki jerky, the chips/iced tea isle, next comes the shampoo/body spray/hair stuff

But first I'm ransacking the pet food because that fucking shit costs me more than the food I eat.

I'd fill the cart with meal then freeze it

All the fucking canned tuna there is

Good point, go for all the fucking jared peanut butter there is

This, pet food is becoming expensive as hell.

Afterwards grab the cleaning supplies and if time is left grab the steaks, sausages and bacon

Are we allowed to sell what we grab? If so, diapers and Tide liquid detergent. Both are easily sold and are practially a currency on their own.

If it's just stuff that I am going to use personally? Fresh herbs on the way in. Fancy deli meats, imported cheeses, Then steaks/seafood. If there is time left, round the corner for bacon.

1. imported cheeses
2. all the $50+ bottles of vinegar
3. sweep all the upper shelf bags of coffee into cart (they will act as cushioning for...)
4. expensive extra virgin olive oil
5. nuts (not peanuts. fuck you peanuts. I can already afford you.)
6. all the beef jerky on top.
7. if any time remains, I'm heading to spice/baking aisle and grabbing vanilla beans, saffron (I don't even like saffron, but it's expensive), and the big baking bars of Scharffen Berger chocolate. Should I still have time left, I will grab every jar of black peppercorns I can.

My basic strategery is high price to weight ratio non-perishables. Things you don't need, but it'd be nice to have years of surplus. All of this shit is gift-worthy, too.

Bet I'd clear $3,000

All the booze and wine's on an upstairs mezzanine, so it'd be a waste of time.

I would jump to the rice section and take their biggest bags of rice, which can be 50kg (110lbs) bags.

probably will get 10, which is enough to feed the whole city.

then i would store it for when famines come, when hunger is everywhere it will be my duty to save mankind.

...

Olive oil. Stuff is expensive and I'm running out of olive oil within a week.

After that I will probably stock up on the cleaning products and shower products.

Run for the cheese/deli section, and see if I can grab some gin, rum, or vodka when the cart is full/nearly full

You're the hero we need

You're the hero we don't deserve

It's been said before but literally mad dash to the artisan cheese, turn the cart sideways and shovel.

Meats/seafood, cheeses, and veggies/fruits. And at my grocery store these are placed rather close together.

Since so many have already listed cheese I don't know.

Lightbulbs I guess?

Head straight for the razors. Empty the shelves, then the tabacco. Reckon there should be a couple of grand between the two.

I fill the cart with $60+ booze, which is located next to the cashier, cuz muh thefts :^)

No one in western NY says pop unless they are over 40, this map is out of date.

All these retards not heading to the pharmacy. Light, overpriced as fuck, easy to resell, long shelf life, etc.

I'll just run around and knock everyone elese carts over.

Gift card section

The end

With the money I saved i can just buy a chest freezer.

All the otc shit you can swipe into a shopping cart would be a good strategy. I doubt they'd let you behind the pharmacy counter, since that'd be illegal.

Hypothetically, the store pays for the gift cards. How many of them do you think they'll activate for you in two minutes? I bet they'd slowly charge 2 of them up at whatever amount they felt like. That's just asking them to fuck up your supermarket sweep.

Cartons of cigarettes.

I'll grab $5,000-10,000 worth, sell for a car.

I'd rush to where they sell cigarettes instead of booze, cigarettes are easy to sell to homeless people and high school kids. Great way to make money off of your sweep even if you don't smoke, just do it slowly so the authorities don't catch on

Alternative to the pharmacy might be health foods/natural living. I could get a lot of sixty-dollar bottles of vegan retard protein shake mix into a cart.

Legit I'd just grab a bunch of wheels of parmagianno reggiano and as much liquor would fit in the basket. I'd probably still have extra time to kill

I go to a Super Walmart the most.
even the furthest entrance is fine, because nobody else will be in the store, I can run with the cart for once. booze is in the back left. then it's just a quick run to the next corner to pick up a couple big packs of raw meat, who cares what it is, and to the register. i'll make it just under 2 minutes

Selling loosies is one of the easier ways to catch a case, shit gets cracked down on hard.

Julian?

Nigger, can you read

>grocery store

medical supplies and medicines.

Can you read?

>other
>"One fuzzy belly tickle ha ha juice, please!"

run for the meat department, which is right next to the liquor. grab some saffron and vanilla extract on the way. get good steaks, lobster, swordfish and salmon. then head over to the liquor shelf and grab a bunch of top shelf bottles. probably mostly scotch and bourbon, but get a variety of other things to fully stock my bar.

One good quality imported cheese wheel is worth thousands - so in lieu of electronics, if those were available I would take that and sell them.

Barring that, spices and meats and a bunch of junk.

I'd unbolt one of them deli slicers and take that.

I'd fill the cart with premium brand baby formula, as much as possible. That shit ain't cheap. Then I'd resell it, pocket the money and spend it elsewhere.

Beer is close to the entrance so probabaly there first. Then specialty cheeses. Then bulk foods for dried mushrooms and pine nuts.

Whisky and hard booze first, expensive cheese, some pieces of expensive meat cuts, and some ice cream

A certain part of me wants to grab one of those aisle-end racks with pic related and dump the whole thing in because it's like $20 a pound, never seems to move and is the kinda' shit you'd never buy with a level head but god dammit you kinda' fixate on it after passing it hundreds of times and mocking it each time.

In reality though, probably just split it between cheese and meat. A shitton of jarlsberg, halloumi, paradiso beemster, anglo-saxon chedders, dubliner and some other good Scandinavian-y cheeses, then top it off with boneless chicken, ground beef, roasts, steaks and a few boneless hams and packs of thick-ass bacon. Time provided, maybe snatch up all those almond cheese balls/logs, those things are like fucking cocaine.

Which is about the median age for Erie and the surrounding counties, plus we get tons of college students fleeing flyover states and bringing their vernacular with them. From experience and a quick look at some menus we use soda, pop and both pretty interchangeably.

>"Tonic"
Who the hell besides senile geriatrics uses that as a catch-all? Unless you're talking snake oil or the namesake component of a gin and tonic that's just creepy.

canned goods as fast as i can and give donate it all to the local homless shelter :^)

The 17 year old girl that bagged my grocieries at publix the other day.

Raspberries, dried lobster/porcini mushrooms, pistachios, pricy cheeses, caviar, truffle products, salmon, and a last-minute dash through the yuppie aisle for frozen goods. If I'm still not at 2 minutes, I grab some roses and houseplants.

If they have their service seafood section pre-packaged, crab legs, crab cakes, and anything else that looks good.

I would grab an entire prosciutto ham from the deli section, probably a couple other huge sausages and cheeses

Then I would head over to the meats and get a mountain of raw chickens, ribs, the best steaks I could get. I would then host a huge barbecue for everyone I know and share the love.

That would probably be all I have time for, if I could I would grab a shitload of Haribo gummies too.

I don't drink a lot so I won't go for the alcohol. Maybe grab a bottle or two on my way to the back of the store where the butcher is, and grab some of the better/more expensive meats. Cheeses are right next to that so grab some of that too while I'm at it. Gotta go fast so I won't have a ton of time to pick out all the best stuff, but it shouldn't be hard to get a decent selection. If there's still time after that, go to the isle on the other side and start shoveling herbs and spices into my cart since they're relatively expensive and I tend to go through them pretty fast.

Expensive sausages and cheese
Vitamin supplements
Expensive hair products
Lottery tickets

what kind of grocery stores do you have that sell 4k TVs? Is this some CK meme i'm not aware of?

good point, diapers and formula type shit would sell fast.

What is wrong with his reading comprehension?

Underrated post

Run through bakery first
Grab some choco chip cookies and bagels for the kids
And thru the produce aisle steak and salmons and maybe a few sausages and bacons
Now to the dairy aisle
Probably grab all the fairlife off the racks
Just for the fuck of it
Now to alcohol: 1 meme beer (whatever hot new craft option catches my eye)
And back thru the produce aisle... maybe grab some fruits, especially dried fruits, and veggies, a shit ton of nuts, and some kraft dinners, maybe some canned shit on the way out, beans, oh yea, and jalapeños, and pickles.

Fuck u op I'm going to the store now

I remember Oprah did this on her show one time. The lady that ran to the coffee aisle and filled her trolley with coffee got the most money's worth in her trolley.

With respect to how my grocery is arranged i'd start with the expensive fish/seafood, then grab all the good nuts on the way to the wine(mostly bordeaux/burgundy but a few good rhone too), after that i'd dash for the good oils and vinegars and i'f I have time run to the cheese and just stuff everything from the artisanal section into the cart.

are you really too retarded to understand what they just said or are you just a pretentious bitch?

Those bacon strips are shit.

The fucking booze obviously.
I would just fill my cart with booze.
The place I most visit is not too large, I could easily make to to liquor in 30 seconds.

>Only visit this board when I get bored, so I shop at Wal-Mart
>Entrance farthest from alcohol is lawn and garden
>Next to that is sporting goods, so I load up on guns and, time permitting, ammo

My Safeway only has one entrance.

And it's four seconds from the booze.

...