I was just offered my own cooking show on Food Network. Ask me anything

Festive Frugal Cooking for the Familia is the working title

Half

Idk bro, shit. Fuck off.

Many

OK here's what you gotta do

1. Use spanish words as much as possible, whenever unnecessary. Watch some hispanic weather reporters for inspiration - it's not a tornado, it's a TorNAHdo. That kind of thing. Always roll your R's.

2.Make sure to refer to your food as AUTHENTIC as much as possible, even when it isn't. When it isn't call it Authentic Texan Mexican or Authentic North Spanish or whatever.

3. Find a company to shill for. This guy went with cheese, but i'm sure you can find some el athenic beans/rice/seasoning/whatever to shill for.

4. Remember white people don't got seasonings in their cabinet. Stick to 'normal' shit that can be bought in pre-mixed seasonings. See step 3.

Names too long. Executives are gonna want to shorten it. Go with Festivo Familia.

>poor spic cooks for all 15 family members; the show

please use potato chips

>Festive Frugal Cooking for the Familia

Oh fuck off you shit cunt.

Everyone knows mexicans can't cook, have no actual cuisine worth mentioning, and have even less food safety and hygiene.

I'll keep this in mind

That's ignorant

Do you support the great wall of trump?

It's more like a scientifically proven set of facts.

Good luck, even the food network star bullshit shows usually only go for 1 season, so if you can somehow channel enough charisma to go 2 seasons you're probably golden and will get 10 seasons like FLAVORTOWN.
As an aside, Mexican Mexican cooking or Tex-Mex Mexican?

No

No

>he doesnt support national borders

why?

Authentic Mexican

Make sure you get at least 10 shots of you washing your hands in every episode, it'll make you stand out

...

You need to go back beaner

Is it being filmed in the US, if so are you a US citizen?

Personal reasons

Ok I will

Nah

K

Yes and yes

What's the estimated pay?

I know I said AMA but sorry that's too personal

get a load of this homo

its Veeky Forums, you can violate your NDA

Fuck off

>some wetback gets a cooking show while Ja/ck/ is still struggling to make ends meet and make quota on his sauce sales

Thats awesome op! Will you have your coke guzzling beaner family on the show as well?

What happens if you get fired for going on Veeky Forums because it's a hate site?

>Everyone knows mexicans can't cook, have no actual cuisine worth mentioning, and have even less food safety and hygiene.

You're thinking of white people for the first half of that. And maybe the latter, if you consider rotten shark as whitey cuisine.

if you can show me black lines formed naturally on the ground, then maybe. Otherwise some cunt made them up so I'll pretend they don't exist. Don't be a cuck user

Going to be hard to pretend when trump builds the wall and your economy continues to crash

>gets asked legitimate question in entire thread
>bitches out

Why would the Food Network give a show to someone with a shit personality?

Pretending to be retarded and bad at cooking can only get you so far.

...

I want to suckle her hairy balloon knot.

You're a bunch of dickheads

Chupa mi pinga

Does the show have a live segment where people call in? Make sure to screen calls if it does.

Duff? They bringing you back? I thought you couldn't walk right anymore after yuou ground all your toes off like an idiot while riding that motorcycle.

nigger balls

I didn't save any of them, but those GIFs of the god awful mexican food where they pack it all into a Doritos bag, or that other nasty shit, you gotta do a episode about that stuff, and do it with a straight face, maybe even have some "expert" talk it up. pls OP, help us troll Food Network

Show me the naturally formed barrier around your (parents) house. Oh there isnt any its just walls and doors that some cunt made up therefore you should let me in despite not knowing who I am, furthermore im free to come and go as I please and use your shit and eat your food

Did you go to culinary school?

How did this happen? I mean like, how did you get the attention of the Food Network?

How much did you have to do with coming up with the premise of the show? Were they just looking for a Mexican family cook and settled on you, or was it your idea?

It would be my dream to have a Food Network show of my own one day.

Veeky Forums's future celebrity has already had babby's first meltdown.
Can't wait to see her trainwreck of a show.

I'm wondering why any of you believed this in this first place

>guys I figured out the OP's tripcode

How about mi spiko taco?

>4. Remember white people don't got seasonings in their cabinet. Stick to 'normal' shit that can be bought in pre-mixed seasonings. See step 3.
You mean Americans.

Go Back Dining

>Americans
>white
Choose one.