"Thanks for inviting me for dinner. I heard you were quite the cook."

Probably something vegetarian. I'm thinking a curry or gumbo with plenty of spice. Rice as a side dish regardless.

She looks like an attention whore, so maybe a vegan dinner.

Hummus with pita to snack while I cook some pasta with pesto, likely made of broccoli instead of basil.

will you make her eat all the eggs?

>Her

spaghetti, overcooked, with some store bought sauce that tastes like watered down tomato paste

cause I cant cook

>burnt stir-fry
"T-this is wok hei."

you should practice user, start by following the pasta instructions so you don't overcook it and tweak as you see fit.

For the sauce just leave it on the pan until it evaporates more, at low temperature so you don't burn it.

Add little salt, you can add it in the end on your plate if you feel the need.

Chicken alfredo with just a dash of semen

thanks for the tips, Ill try that next time

>Id make some thai curry or sushi
Pretty good plan imo.

Ribs. If that girl is afraid of eating meat and getting her face dirty, it's over.

Spaghetti

>blue hair

Kids these days ... I don't get it. Is it a social statement or another resurgence of the Smurfs? Srs.

Aposematic tendencies present in dna

this desu anons

Kid from this day. Most of the people my age I know who dye their hair do it because they think it looks cool and they like the color they choose. A few do it because they have parents they want to rebel against, but most just do it because they like the way it looks.

Look up a pretentious oil and vinegar mix for bread
Pasta and alfredo with shrimp

I came here to say exactly this.

garlic bread

Something light. Gassy sex on an upset stomach is not pleasant.

>dyed hair
>brown eyes

Nope

Uh

I can make a salmon bake?

"I don't know who did you heard that from, but they are a liar. I said going out to eat"

Smoked cock
A warm, wet mouth should be perfect

>tfw I've been spending every night for the last week imagining going on a date with a cute girl at the grocery store where we buy ingredients and then go to either of our houses and bake our own pan pizzas with our own toppings on each half (I put pineapple and pepperoni on my half and she puts green peppers, mushrooms, sausage, pepperoni, and extra cheese on hers) inside my cast iron pan that hasn't been washed for 3 years and watching a movie together and she teases me by calling me a fucking child for putting pineapple on my pizza, so I get upset that she can't tolerate my tastes and then she offers me her "superior" pizza as she calls it and then I tell her to get the fuck out of the house or I leave her house and we never see each other again and then I start wallowing in misery and regret at home because she was actually a cool girl and then I spend every night fantasizing everything going right with her and we share a lot of time together with our interests/hobbies and even try new ones like a cute couple

If you thought the last half of that post would make me sorry enough to not call you a mong for putting pineapple on your pizza, you were wrong.

Whatever would make her leave.

That Nickelodeon colored hair is a turn off. I think I'd only want her once. Then once I've had a sniff and a taste I'd never want to see her again. Also, maybe some kind of pasta.

hey, we live in a world where pasta an lemon tastes good, so whatever, have pineapple in your pizza.

A bowl of eggs

I'll make you a Kogel mogel - Because its cheap, sweet, jewish and needs a beating... Just like you!

Spaghetti aglio e olio with a simple salad of spinach, Roma tomatoes, and carrot ribbons with a balsamic dressing. For dessert, a blood orange and vodka sorbet.

She looks like a weeb so I'll make pork katsu served with shari rice and a side of tsukemono. The whole time I'm wooing her with my Super Smash Bro technique and why I'll never use Meta (moar like BETA amirite?!) Knight because he's broken, just like her pussy will be very soon.

After dinner, it's Nyanko Days followed by some hashed roleplaying session from a hentai she claims is her only 'release.'

She probably doesn't have a car so she'll spend the night. Morning I'll make omurice, musubi and miso soup. If she hasn't pledged to be my waifu, she's a total ice queen and I'll be forced to drop her off at her mom's place.

>panhandlers with the pit bull and the cardboard sign

Those are professional panhandlers user. They make upwards of 6 figures a year from suckers like you.

Carbonara

Last thing I made my girl was french onion soup (which is a bitch to time right it takes like 3 hours) and reubens since she had never had one. They both turned out great despite not getting a decent loaf of marble rye.

Used the left over corned beef to make corned beef hash the next day, which I rushed and it turned out not great, but still good.

Before that I just kept it simple with twin dry aged NY strips done right.

>What do you make for her to charm her with your confidence in your movements, preparation, and knowledge of said dish?

Talked up the shit out of dessert and pulled some little debbies out of the cabinet, which we ate. She thought it was cute.

On a side note... wtf do I do with all this leftover gruyere?

>Talked up the shit out of dessert and pulled some little debbies out of the cabinet, which we ate. She thought it was cute.

REDDIT

Naw, I thought that was original. damn.

This, I did this without the hentai stuff and it works. Once a weeb bitch has imprinted on you it will never leave your house.

>her fingers
What the fuck?

what the fuck, I had a dream last night and in it I was in a hot tub with a girl that had this exact hair

I see you

i'd heat up a family size box of 6 banquet salisbury steaks and have jagerbombs to drink

bibimbap and top it off with an over easy duck egg to make it non-mainstream for her.

>Blue hair
Probably a veg, so I'd puree a me soaked cashews, stir fry some onions and garlic, add tomato puree and a cup of dry white wine. Add freshly chopped cremini mushrooms and the cashew paste. Spice with salt, pepper and thyme and add some fried, thin tofu strips. Serve that with fussili verdi and the rest of the wine, maybe a salad for starters and créme brulee as a dessert.

This woman looks like the exact type of the one you'd date in college but never marry later in life.

>stupid fucking blue hair

Nope.

>blue hair

in the trash
I ain't cooking her shit

this

it's a pleasant shade though, unlike the ones in that image

I don't make her anything, I tell her to get out of my fucking house or I'm calling the cops.

>blue hair

Fucking antifa pieces of shit.

Who are you kidding? It looks awful

Anime curry from scratch.

This.

Fuck out of here with that stupid fucking blue hair.

The carbonara. Easy and cheap, but looks fancy to make.

kek I used to date a girl who dyed her hair and couldn't cook a cheese sandwich

I'd always make her tomato soup and grilled cheese before she sukk but I left her because she was a hoe and her life barrelled downhill after I kicked her out

s-sorry

i also let her see the band aids on my fingers from cutting myself accidentally. so clumsy, desu.

Made my twink bf steak and potato hand pies. Bought a cheap marked down cut of lean flank steak, marinated it overnight, browned in a pan with carrot, celery, onion and mishroom, then slow cooked. Made dough from scratch, and folded in potatoes tossed with a light cheesy cream sauce with the beef and its gravy.
Add some sharp shredded cheese to bake onto the top of the hand pie thats brushed with egg wash.
Add a few glasses of the same red I used for the steak marinade and his sweet ass was mine.

Panko-crusted chicken and some wilted spinach with garlic. Sure that's just chicken tenders and leaves, but the fuck does she know?

Yeah looks like a tranny to me

not now boner

did you fug his puchi?

You see how many cultures I can appropriate on a whim? Get mad.

Then she submissively fellates me.

She has blue hair? She's not coming in.

This is a psycho-free zone.

>tfw ill never have a bf to cook for me then ravage my boypussy after

Pineapple pizza on my firebrick oven. Literally sex on first date even if there were no touching involved.
>Look ma no hand orgasm

Never had gruyere because I'm too much of a cheap fuck, but it's a supposedly traditional ingredient in quiche lorraine. I went through a quiche phase a few years ago and don't make them anymore because I don't think they're all that, but if I did make them again, I'd try making them in a rich and creamy savory custard style with egg yolks and heavy cream, because the normal style is too spongy for me.

In this order:

>burgundian beef
>shark risotto
>barreado
>ratatouille
>frittata

Specially the first. Easy to cook, it tastes great, and something I do so often I'm used to improvise depending on tastes of whoever is with me. And it gives me a great excuse to drink wine.

Is this really the original teryaki flavor???

>flour
>rice
also fuck mixing carbs, why not add pasta and potatoes as well while he's at it. disgusting.

i enjoyed that read

>tfw i will never have a relationship beyond eye contact and basic niceties with a female member of the human race

die cis scum

>also fuck mixing carbs, why not add pasta and potatoes as well while he's at it. disgusting.
Tell that to my mother, who mixes corn meal, rice pilaf and spaghetti cut into small pieces and top it with an egg regardless of the spaghetti sauce.

I can forgive French and Italian together in one meal, but barreado sounds very out of place with the cumin. And that's quite a lot of food for one meal for two people. Stop trying so hard, you cuck. She'll notice this bitchboi behavior. Also:
>burgundian beef
Call it Beef Burgundy or Beef Bourguignon like a normal person, you fagit.

You are literally scum. Please consider praying the gay away. I do not understand your preference nor does it make sense biologically.

I don't want a blue hair near me. I would just buy a stand up cut out of Trump and put it in a window that she could see. I don't need a thot in my life.

...

No it's reality man. I just don't see how people could crave a smelly processed hot dog over roast beef. Why choose that life? It is not rational.

Curry from last night but reheated and mixed with noodles. So exactly what I'm eating now.

She looks 14 and braindead. I could probably give her some Great Value macaroni and cheese, she'd moan "omg slay meeeee" and post it on her Snapchat story. Then I'd send her home to do her homework.

Some people just enjoy the juicyness of a hot steaming frank more than dry beef slices.
Both were meant to be slathered with mayo.
To each their own desu

Why does everyone hate people who dye their hair? I don't understand why it matters, I don't give a shit if someone thinks they look better with neon pink hair. Sometimes it actually looks pretty cool.

>You don't have to tell me what happened, but you do have to eat this

NO. Pray the gay away please. I am merely looking out for your future children.

Is that what Flavortown looks like?

Dude I'm straight and I'm not even gonna have kids. Fuck reproducing in this day and age, and honestly fuck kids too.

>Sometimes it actually looks pretty cool

I'm talking about the kids that were never born that will be forced to go into the black hole unwillingly.

Disgusting, children are a blessing.

There it is: the response we've all been waiting for. Staring ravenously at our screens, we hungered for it. We needed it. You are a cog in the hivemind of the Internet Machine. The aeonian meme rages on like an unbridled river of repetitive jokes, forced references, and mind-numbing puns. Without the cog, the machine cannot operate. Without the McChicken, we cannot succumb to the will of the forum. I can't breathe. lol