ITT: Write something that proves you are sublime

The pipe heats up in Bob’s cut-up mouth and Mary’s cut-up fingers: goodbye, blood (sucked back into their cuts) and hello, Blue Marble. Stainless steel clangs as Mary’s boots type out a rain dance, here decoded from Morse: “Come on down, bored ondines! Make new life in our lush dendritic forests!” Invite accepted: here’s a bass-bumping Sprite party pounding at the bounds of their brains. Bob leans his head back and now loves his straps. Mary sits down and grabs Bob’s good leg. They both shut their lids and feel their skulls rumble like shuttles into Earth’s inner atmosphere; it does always feel like returning, expecting an impact with incoming ground (to stand on solid ground, bare feet pressing down wet grass, oh! that would be so nice!) but no, it’s been an orbit, at times high and at other times low, for as long as they can remember (and this trip will be no different). It’s just another passing kiss with this dreamy Amazonian air (bottle as much of this shit as you can!), and once again they whizz over the emerald green horizon through steaming clouds into big black, fall up and “come to” in their uncharted zone of deep space like so:

>It’s just another passing kiss with this dreamy Amazonian air[...], and once again they whizz over the emerald green horizon through steaming clouds

This good

This is dreadful and I'll never understand why people write like this. It's flashy noise. So tiring. If I were the kind of person who says "ugh" I would say it right now, but I never utter the word, so you're lucky: you don't want to hear someone say "ugh". I'm not going to point my eyes upwards either--"roll" my eyes, as some people say--although you definitely had it coming.

>If I were the kind of person who says "ugh" I would say it right now

This is dreadful, I don't understand why you write like this!

Sunset found her squatting in the grass, groaning. Every stool was looser than the one before, and smelled fouler. By the time the moon came up she was shitting brown water. The more she drank, the more she shat, but the more she shat, the thirstier she grew, and her thirst sent her crawling to the stream to suck up more water.

I don't practice Santeria.

user is sublime

- Anonymous

That is the most pretentious thing I've ever read. It's like you're doing a really bad parody of Lolita's intricate style...

Beautawful.

I don't practice santeria
I ain't got no crystal ball

Protip: ctrl+f for a keyword before you post the most stale and obvious joke you think is so clever.

I can shit without dropping a single drop of pee.

I did a dookie in the potty.

Why is 90% of this comment defensively avoiding the phrases "ugh" and "*rolls eyes*". It's like yes, those are empty criticisms, so why not spend your words clarifying the specific problem(s) with the writing?

I'm the writer and I want to tease out the problems with the writing.

My guesses at the problems are:

- exalting exclamations! are an annoyance
- mythological references don't pull their weight
- consonance/assonance distract
- some mixed metaphors don't fit the general theme and prevent a coherent mental image from forming

Any more? (asking anyone)

interesting creative ambitious writing makes my writing seem like shit so to make myself feel better I should try to make you feel worse / maybe there are some problems with your writing but I dont actually care about that and why would I want to offer any criticism that could actually help my competition?

ALL OF THE DEEJAYS SURELY WILL TAKE A LESSON!

START TALKING TRASH AND I'LL COME WITH MY SMITH AND WESSON!

I am sublime.

I realize this is a very bad poem, and I am currently working on it, but I would like to hear whether the wise people on Veeky Forums think it has come from an inherently sublime personality.

Art Understood as Spanish Moss

When I behold these scraggled, hoary corpses,
I cannot help but think of those ink’d fingers
Which lay ‘neath Yeats’ or Shakespeare’s coffin lid.

From them at crazy intervals red petals
Concede their beauty to a corpsèd eye,
So that that eye may bloom in other seasons.

They bear no odors. When, as a child, one fell
On you, its scentless stillness mortified
The tender forearms, though they knew not what

The languid tendrils meant. Now I will tell you.
The scientists contrive (for so they must)
Another, falser name for it than moss—

Yet here, as other instances, I trust
Far more the common dialect. ‘Spanish’?
Forsooth: They are conquistadores’ beards

O’ergrown from hard prolongèd habitation:
Their eyes (their oaken eyes) have lost their sheen,
Their strict and lisping laws of conquest, no more green.

And ‘moss’? Indeed: it needs no gentle usage,
And may cling fast to even the stoniest mind.
Its curls are surly masters’, not white maids’.

Its grey complexity can only grow
In sweaty tropics; yet, when it coolly fades
And frees the mind, one misses those twined veins.

Obligingly it drifts with any wind
That blows it with sufficient heat and gusto,
And wishes its complexities unfurled;

It is the great Anatomy of lust—O,
How near through it will seem that dusky world,
O how its hands the Inward Eye do mend!

And, when the sky is purple, vaguely turns
Encompassing the Ear with gamic peace—

Then on the instant all finds that it yearns,
And Process packs itself in sapphire urns.

Is there such a thing as living? Isn't life given to us unasked and so taken away? Is living just doing what we're taught to do while others happen to do so in sychronic fashion on our own and private and only span of life? Life happens the same for the underdog who rose to vile dictatorship and the since birth bedridden. What appeal has life to offer that makes it any better than the cold but kind embrace of the never-ending void? None, and so is the reason we don't have a choice in it, for everything in it is suffering and is meaningless.

I love coming to these threads so I can cringe.

...

decent bait

...

(italian chef gesture) (crying laughing face) (100)

Ssshhhh....Two words. Arts Degree.

You fucking piece of shit, what are you good for if not to satisfy my masochistic exhibitionism?

6+ inches

6+ foot

I feel like shit everyday, have no self-awareness, and I Hate myself.

I am the steam that rises off a frozen pond in the dead of winter, catching the white sunlight and blinding you.
oh, wait, thats sublimation

what is?
the.
I might be too drunk though

This has the appearance of greatness. I don't think there is enough meaning to fill it, though. It's overgrown, isn't it? But I am a novice poetry reader and no poet at all, so pay not much heed to me. I'm far too unrefined to find it any meaningful flaw other than the vague air of fine ornament that hides nothing. If it helps, it is enough to fool me, had you said it was a famous poem from a famous poet.

I identify as sublime.

Doesn't it irritate you, my "criticism", give you the impression there could have been more pith in less words, with less pedantry and mannerisms? So you deserve. Wasn't it dishonest? It wasn't, I assure you, though it was facile. Your text did the same to me, even though stylistically very different, even though much more thoughtful, I am certain. Your text was cruel to me for it promised lush relief but it made me wade back through its watery tissue for not much. You are thinking it is my flaw, and I am thinking it is my flaw, but it's your fault for stirring this flaw in me.

Pretty but pretentious as fuck

The fuck are you saying?

Show sublime ID then

lick my cock. or whatever

If you feed me enough, i emit gas.

The knife carved a line upon the back of Orion. Ye be cursed! He said, with a voice that sounded like a mixture between Ophra winfley and sand paper dragged across a stainless steel bowl made in china.

Severely underrated post right here.

Behold the winds, strong and plenty, deep in the darkened void of my asscrack.

Kek

This is why Veeky Forums is my favorite board

haha proves

youtube.com/watch?v=xvj0rxhjpWA

No.

Prove that you exist first.

Shitposting like this only works once in a 1000 years.

Bumping for this under-acidic post.

I am

i had sex.
it was only a dream.

Humans have always been a species doomed to fail