Just picked up this mean mother fucker on my way home from work and want opinions on the best way to cook and serve it

Just picked up this mean mother fucker on my way home from work and want opinions on the best way to cook and serve it.

what the fuck is it

It's a steak dumbass . . .

What's that white cum on the right side?

The marbling on that steak is perhaps the best i've ever seen.

It looks like someone came in a bag of pepperoni.

The white part is the fat to add texture and flavour and to marble the meat.

>marble the meat

What do you mean by this?

If I spread the fatty spread under the plastic evenly across the top of the whole steak then the marbling will be flawless and the meat will be the perfect flavor.
I'm just not really sure what to do after I spread the fat paste over the steak. Should I marinate it or..?

decent bait. chuckled

Fat

That doesn't help me whatsoever.
Ive had this shit laying out in fucking room temperature for over an hour and nobody can tell me how to cook it.
I thought this was the cooking board? Not the not know how to cook it board. I hate every one of you im thinking about fucking just trashing it and saying fuck it.
I can't even tell if its any fucking good.

how would you even open that without damaging the product
the meat is fine its the shitty packaging its in. you are going to destroy your steak before you can even slide it on a bun

You could poke a hole in the fatty leyer and open it wide with your thumb like a bag of chips you dumbass..

OP here.
Decided just to unpackage and boil it since it seemed like the easiest way to make sure all the bad bacteria in the center are dead.
The fat that was in the plastic before I unpackaged the steak product started out with a almost squirty consistency but as it boils it is taking on more of a cartilage like structure around the pot. Will them add on to the flavour or?
How often should I stir it and should I add salt?
pic related

>boiling steak
Die.

>boiling steak

OP here.
Wah-La

no ketchup?

Looks like fucking labia.

Well thats what happens when Veeky Forums doesnt help me for SHIT

Why did you do this? What motivated you each step of the way?

I dunno but the onset of sickness is coming on much quicker than anticipated. I think I may have poisoned the shit out of myself with this.
I picked up the steak from the Dollar Tree on the way to my house using what change I had left from breaking a few dollars at work.
Yep probably time to hit the ol' ER

Oh man, this was really fun bait to watch unfold. Thanks for the laugh OP. If this was real, let's just hope a woman doesn't allow you to cum inside her. We don't need your bloodline to continue

>boiling steak

i know you're trolling OP, but god damn

Do Americans really call this a "steak"?

From what dimension is this from meat and cum in a plastic bag

get your picture in focus next time if you want me to contribute to your shit thread

Your lucky you got anything at all you neat fuck.

This thread makes me sad

you can get steak from the dollar tree?

...

>neat fuck
Yeah you're right, I do keep my place pretty clean and tidy.