...if people were rain, I was drizzle, and she was a hurricane

"Tah'Rone understands social issues and oppression in a way you never will, that's why I'm seeing xir on the side," she had told to me earlier. I applauded her bold flouting of social constraints, and agreed with what she said. For all my wits and lore, I could never grasp the many's plight as well as one born poor.

I immediately gave her the fifteen thousand dollars she requested for Tah'Rone's bail. My penis was harder than it could ever be during sex, though we hadn't had it yet so I wasn't certain.

Holy.....

"John Greene is a fucking hack" I wrote, while straightening my Sonic the Hedgehog t-shirt. I couldn't help myself, I couldn't stand the idiotic musings of this hack being posted on the internet anymore. My fingers moved tempestuously across my keyboard "Fucking plebs, I can't believe teenage girls love this shit when they could be reading REAL authors like Vonnegut, R.A. Salvatore or Dawkins." Satisfied with my argument. I casually hit the submit button. I permitted a sly grin to cross my face. My fury had been hammered into a blade, tempered by human reason and my superior understanding of objective reality. Surely this, my rhetorical masterwork would convince all of the hot and ready teenage sluts that John Green was doubtlessly dicking every night that he was both a bad author and a terrible person. I closed the tab with a click of finality, satisfied that I had rent asunder the once placid literary world of these simpletons. I opened a new tab and typed "inflation tf" into the search bar. Only then, did my night truly begin.

>"When they were introduced, he made a witticism, hoping to be liked. She laughed extremely hard, hoping to be liked. Then each drove home alone, staring straight ahead, with the very same twist to their faces.The man who’d introduced them didn’t much like either of them, though he acted as if he did, anxious as he was to preserve good relations at all times. One never knew, after all, now did one now did one now did one."
What did he mean by this?

I could right away tell this was in fact DFW just from the usage and content. *pats self on back*

is this from the ugly guys book?

...

Hurricane isn't a type of precipitation. What a hack.

>...if people were rain, I was drizzle, and she was a snow grain.

A literary masterpiece.

>tfw cuck
Getting Veeky Forums and Veeky Forums isnt cutting it
I guess suicide was the answer all along
Bye bros

>tfw I googled "inflation tf"

She really looks like Dwight from The Office, doesn't she

EXPOSED hehe

> "–you fucking pig. You male pig."

lost

I like these threads

If peoble were body parts I'd be a benis and she'd be a bagine :DD

>i hate cuckcore so much
Give it a chance bro.

>To touch a Woman
>By Karêi Rhyce

No ice is colder
No water wetter
No fire hotter
Than your skin’s touch.

You never grow older
You only grow better
And clearer like water
I love you so much.

No words can say
No images show
That you are really the one

But I look away
Keep my head low
Or you will notice and run.

After a decade, I now understand how school bullies feel.

He's just such a pathetic cuck that feel nothing but animal contempt for him, an urge to push his face into muck and hear the weakness bubble out of him. I want to beat him with my ape hands, and listen to his squeals as I savage his virginal boipucci. No homo.

10/10

>women are crazy
sounds about right

>My fury had been hammered into a blade, tempered by human reason and my superior understanding of objective reality

Holy shit user, 10/10.

>imperfect sonnet
REEEEEEEEE

>imperfect sonnet
My sonnet is supposed to be imperfect, since I the writer) am myself imperfect, and it can never ever come close to describing the perfect creature that is a woman.

this feels like he's one step away from writing about being sat in a corner watching her have sex because he simply isn't worthy of fucking her.

more like she was the queen of the caterpillars look at those eyebrows lmao

...

The next Veeky Forums novel really needs to be about John Green. It's as if our best writing is when we hate. He's Veeky Forumss muse.

This man understands the essence of cuck-core

i like her shoes

...I want more

Tah'Rone was eating my severed lower leg with the idle grace of a tiger or large gazelle, if gazelles were wont to graze upon the flesh of supine humanoids. My penis was still there, and still upright. Neither xe nor my Secular Goddess appeared interested in stemming the somewhat copious flow of blood from my stump, so I ventured with a trembling voice to ask if I could attempt to do so.

"Aw shaddep cracker," Tah'Rone managed between mouthfuls.

"I do believe, though, that prolonging my expiration would be of considerable use to you and--" I was struck with my own leg, several times.

"Do what you want, just no talky in that wack school voice of yos," xe said articulately.

After several minutes, I managed to create a passable tourniquet with some removed clothing and nearby objects, leaving liable to survive for 20 to perhaps 55 minutes, depending on my mistress's caprice. I felt once again very grateful for the evenings spent reading Wikipedia in search of answers to my info-thirsty brain's endless questions, such as how one might survive on a far-off alien jungle planet with no supplies and a developing case of scurvy.

My Goddess (secular) returned from the lavatory, gave the scene an impartial look-over, and then stomped on my tummy a few times at maximum strength, forcing out a surprised scream. "I said shaddep!" yelled Tah'Rone, hitting me some more with my leg.

Severely lost it.
Please more "If people were...

She fucking does, wtf

keep going user this is gold

>>...if people were rain, I was drizzle, and she was a hurricane.
The only thing wrong with this is that it rhymes.

oh god why can't i stop reading

i wish i had never seen this, cannot unfeels

OP is a horrible genius, the voice of a generation

>tfw converted to cuckcore like 1984

Nice.