Why is the interaction with the pizza man always so awkward?

Because you are autistic and all of your interactions are awkward.

It is usually not like that. It is usually like the OP pic where they are making faces at you. The whole thing is embarrassing if you think about it.

because theyre losers and expect to be tipped for doing nothing.

honestly a 35 year old man working for 8 dollars an hour is pathetic. something went very, very wrong in their life. its shitty to have to make eye contact with someone like that. you want to scream "WHY NOT JUST GO BACK TO PRISON!!!!!" to them

You are not mentally stable.

Are you a pizza delivery guy? Or do you have some other reason to call me crazy?

posting on Veeky Forums is a pretty good reason

Because it's understood that all pizza delivery drivers are hired with the assumption that they will judge the fuck out of you and hate you if you tip anything less than $20 and they are asked to write shit about you on their daily reports to corporate HQ

How don't you know this fucker

Because he barely speaks the national language. Tipping isn't commonplace for food delivery in my country, but the guy on the phone and the delivery person always speak with an accent thicker than any pizza crust I've ever seen. That's one of the reasons online orders are becoming more and more popular.

>Or do you have some other reason to call me crazy?

I'm not the guy you're replying to, but I can think of two reasons:

1) wanting to scream at them
2) assuming that most pizza delivery people are in their 30s.

no
see:

It would be more awkward for him considering it's your home. Unless you're a giant sperg monster.

Walmart depresses the shit out of me.

This screencap from Veeky Forums might help you

Because you know that he knows you're too much of a lazy degenerate to go pick up your own pizza.

Plus he knows that you know you want the interaction over as quickly as possible because you're embarrassed by the tiny tip you're gonna give him.

Because this interaction is the final end result and realization that you were too lazy to make food, you were too lazy to even get dress up and go out for a nice meal, you were too stupid and fucking disgusting to even go out and pick up food that you had someone else make for you - and in the end you were so fucking pathetic you had to have some teenager or mental incompetent do something for you that you couldn't even manage yourself.

go back to Veeky Forums with that autism. Veeky Forums doesnt have l-l-literal difficulties talking to people over the phone

I wouldn't say it is awkward delivering pizza, but it does make me a bit anxious. I find that if I have a pizza on the way, I can't just sit down and enjoy doing anything like watching a movie or reading. My mind always wanders back to when the pizza guy is going to get here. I end up just pacing around the house looking out the window every 5 minutes. But I also have a dog that goes insane whenever the doorbell rings, so I usually just order takeout.

I'm a pizza guy, i don't mind the autistic fuckers honestly, they just want the food and you out of the way ASAP, and as long as i get some dosh out of it IDGAF.
It's the tipsy soccer moms that get real chatty that annoy me.

>tipping

lol no

>It's the tipsy soccer moms that get real chatty that annoy me.
They all want the D

I'm a pizza guys too, and pretty much this.
Except for me, it has always been the chatty old ladies that bother me. Especially when I have 3 other orders in my car. But I have never really judged or laughed about some dude who is a bit autistic, mainly because I have delivered to lots of people who should probably be classified as literally insane. If this shit job has given me anything, it's stories to tell.

I don't want their disease infested poon. Although once, a particularly drunk soccer mom invited me in for drinks, we were slow and i was bored so i said yeah. It was extremely awkward, she made me a screwdriver and i chugged it real quick and got the fuck out of there, enjoyed the nice buzz the rest of my shift till I sparked it up after my shift.

Don't just leave it like that
Tell us asshole

Because you're awkward, bud

>stories to tell
well then? get on with it!

I almost never order delivery because why not just call in a take it order and go drive to pick it up.

The only thing slightly embarrassing is the fact that the delivery guy is usually twice my age and stuck in a shitty dead-end job. I always ask myself, where in life did he go wrong.

I always feel a little screwed over. Like, I gotta go make myself presentable, make sure the dogs are put away so they don't bother the guy, and make sure the entry to the house looks clean - just so some 30 year old guy making minimum wage driving pizzas around and demanding $10 tips is given the most comfortable experience possible at my doorway, because that's what respectful people do.

I have to put best foot forward no matter how trashy the other person is because that's a part of polite society. You know, the best part of being home alone is being able to just fucking relax for a few hours with a hand down my pants and making racist remarks on /pol/. Having a stranger breaking up that party is offputing.

I usually just pick up the pizza. Saves $8 and I don't have to worry about some punk coming back to rob me later once they see in the doorway.

This is more of a sad story.

>delivering pizza to shitty part of town
>pull up to house, has no grass in front, just dirt, weeds, and all kinds of trash bags with trash scattered all over yard
>get out of car and begin walking to door
>4 year old boy sitting in yard playing with trash like they are his toys
>he is absolutely filthy, looks like he hasn't showered in months, and has very sad, defeated look on his face
>smile at him and say, "are you ready for pizza, buddy?"
>he stares at me with empty expression
>get to door, hear moaning, and see woman riding some fat dude on couch right next to front window
>they don't see me, really awkward, but decide to knock on door
>woman jumps off of fat guy and runs into other room out of sight
>fat guy gets up, cracks open front door, and says "sorry we'll be out in a minute, and slams door in my face" we just completely naked, kek
>a few minutes later, woman comes out from around the back of the house in bathrobe
>turns out she is very young, maybe 18-21, perhaps a prostitue? because the dude she was fucking was like in his fifties
>she acts like nothing happened, and gives me money
>give her pizza and she goes back inside
>doesn't even invite kid in to eat
>walk back to car and drive away as kid continues to play with trash in front yard

that is a pretty mild story, but something about it really got to me, and still makes me angry inside when i think about it.

*he was completely naked

I deliver pizzas and I like it because I'm an awkward fuck and I'm only good talking with strangers for about 15 or so seconds before I panic.

We do it too

Huh. never knew humanity could go so low.

Also the only people who don't tip are niggers

I wonder how much of this thread is ironic shitposting and how much is actual autism?

should have alphad the fat fuck and nailed the hooker.

t. 40 year old pizzaguy

i tip but i fucking loathe the ordeal. I fucking hate to say make 24 when its 21.90 And i give him 25. It challenges mmy autism hard

I bet it was her kid. Got any more?

Just tell him to keep the change. It's easier and you'll build up trust with him over time.

im not rich..... I dont wanna pay a shitload of money for not that much. I dont see a point in tipping a shitload of money ,i just want to give this dude my money and be done without always thinking if its enough ,if he will jizz on my pizza next time or give him all my spare euros. I fucking hate tipping

I order pizzas and go out the side door to meet the pizza guy in my driveway wearing dirty pajamas and having greasy hair from not showering in 2-3 days all while my dogs are barking their heads off at him from the window

You care way too much, the whole point of delivery is so you don't have to clean up and prepare to leave the house and go out in public, what do I care if either a teenager or a burnout in a dead end job thinks I look gross, if I'm ordering a delivery pizza he'd be right in assuming that I haven't left my house in days, so why the pretense

Meh, I'll save the $3.50 delivery fee and just drive to pick it up. There's a Fat Boys and a Pizza hut literally two blocks away from where I live.

pay upfront on the web then, so when the delivery comes you can either be a total dick, take the food say thanks and slam the door, or you leave a glass full of single dollars near the door so you can always tip an exact and round amount you want.

>pizza hut

overpriced shit

Do you only have cash or something? Just pay with your card and you can put down the exact amount you want to tip, no need to fuss with change

thats actually good advicehere most delivery man dont have device for cards.

Because you know they want a big tip but you don’t want to give them anything despite societal pressure to support an employee their boss can’t

i always pay for my pizza upfront while ordering and i always have a dollar coin for the guy so when he comes, i take the pizza and say ''here's the tip'' and handle him the dollar and he always turns his back on me, bends over slightly, mimics spreading his ass cheeks and says ''if it's just the tip, it won't hurt''

i ordered more than 50 times and that shit happened EVERY FUCKING TIME

pizza is great though so i'm putting up with it

I dunno, compared to the local Black Jack and Dominos it seemed equally priced. I'm not all that picky when it comes to the 'za.

You're completely right. I think I have some screws loose. Probably autism like everyone else.

It's like you fuck them, and they think it's a relationship and not just a tip.

The only genuinely awkward interaction I've had with a delivery person was Thai food

That motherfucker literally knocked once and WALKED INTO MY APARTMENT

My fault for not locking my door, but his fault for WALKING INTO MY FUCKING APARTMENT

I was happy to have my food, but he almost got rekt.

If any of you are delivery people, don't do that.

Seriously.

The amount of autism in this thread is overwhelming.

...

Seriously, Pizza Hut / Dominos is highway robbery

$10 special

+ Delivery Fee

+Tax

+More Tax

+Tip

$10 special is now $22.50 for a medium mediocre pizza

Every fucking time

im pretty fit so i often order 2 pizzas.....50 dollars for 1 meal is fucking crazy

>im pretty fat
FTFY

Dominos is the only place I order from that ISNT a complete ripoff.

2 for $12 special
$2.50 delivery
+Tax
+2L Soda
+Tip
$20 for two mediums pizzas, soda, delivered, after tip. Not unreasonable.

seriously. OP started a shit thread to complain about one of the most trivial interactions when the answer to his "problem" is the mere fact he's autistic as fuck.

I like your writing skills user

not to mention one pizza is 5000mg sodium. I have blood pressure issues and 2000mg sodium is enough to give me severe symptoms.

>are you ready for pizza buddy?
made me laugh fucking hard imagining that

>this is a 10/10 in bongistan

I always order online and in the "delivery instructions" box I always write to send the most attractive female delivery person (or male, if there are no attractive females) and for them to shamelessly flirt with me in front of my wife so that she thinks I am still desirable.

thx m8

i appreciate you, friend

Someone actually requested this when they ordered before. I sent one our bigger dudes to the house instead of a female worker.

He came back with a tip

t. college student who has it all figured out

Most delivery places have a website though, through which you pay with a card and input exactly how much you want to tip the driver. Then when he gets there you don't even have to hand him anything.

What are you telling me you actually call the place on the phone like a barbarian?

yeah it's usually like that if you keep having a notion that it has to be awkward.

you ordered food. their job is to deliver the food. your job is to pay them if you didn't already pay online. they knock on the door. you answer. make with any small talk if they initiate it, they ask how you're doing tonight, say good, fine, alright. they hand you the receipt to sign or you hand them cash. you tip them or don't tip them. they hand you your pizza. you make sure the order is all there. they tell you to have a good night or whatever and you tell them the same. they begin to walk back to their vehicle. you shut the door.

have the money/tip ready when you open the door. don't create a scenario where you have to leave them standing at your open door for you to go get it. don't hand them exact change or a coins towards the tip until they get the pizza out of the insulated bag or they are going to fumble with it. have a counter or a table you can set the pizza on near the door when they hand it to you to avoid awkward multitasking scenarios when trying to pay them or sign the receipt.

if it's really an issue having pizza delivered to you, there's a thing called carryout. you cut out the social encounter with a delivery driver altogether and don't have to feel a shred of guilt about tipping.

>be me
>be really high at half past midnight
>watching a documentary about Athens
>decides to order papa johns because munchies
>website order asks for name
>enter in Alexander the Great
>wait for pizza. Forget about it until doorbell buzzes
>wearing nothing but sports bra and sweat pants
>smells like pot
>"p-pizza f-for..."
>I remember
>"A-alex?"
>playitcool.jpg
>"yeah"
>"...the great?"
>"that's me"
>...
>...
>I tip 30%
>enjoy my pizza

>btw i'm a gril xD

>Americans are now so conditioned to tip that they can enter their credit card details and award a tip even before their food has been prepared, let alone ordered.

Amazing.

One time pizza man came to my door and I handed him exact change and the little scrawny fuck had the balls to huff and says 'thats it?!', I said 'yep' and shut the door in his face.

>inb4 that didnt happen

It did. And im American.

There's such a thing as writing the tip on the receipt, eurotard. So if you're really that autistic about it, you can pay online, and then inspect your shitty $5 pizza before deciding if you want to tip $1 or go all out and give him $2.

>This pizza is shit.
>Best only give him an extra $1, not $2. That'll show him.

Amazing.

the pizza was shit regardless

Or..... $0?
>eurofag education
HAHAHAHAHAHA

>then inspect your shitty $5 pizza before deciding if you want to tip $1 or go all out and give him $2

Amazing.

Same, kinda made me want to be a pizza guy just to say that to kids.

God damn it feels good to not be a retarded 3rd worlder that can't even use basic critical thinking skills.

...

user... Did you really not call the fucking cops or CPS or anything after seeing that? You're a real piece of fucking shit.

These threads are entertaining but how often do you fat fucks get pizza delivered to worry about the delivery guy fucking you over for not tipping enough? I eat pizza maybe 5 times a year can't remember the last time I had one delivered.

So what should i order from papa johns?

Large sausage pizza, they'll take care of you

No, he just has manboobs and had the courtesy to cover them up

As someone who used to deliver pizzas, I'll tell you all this now. As long as your driver isn't someone who's only working only for tips, the driver literally does not care what you do. As long as you answer the door and pay for the food everything's good

I order a pizza maybe once every couple months and I don't think I've ever seen the same delivery driver twice despite always ordering from the same place. So everyone ITT is either paranoid or orders several pizzas a month or something.

>right back in the jungle again

Fantastic

>Why is the interaction with the pizza man always so awkward?

because he's seen you naked.