Latin Poem I wrote

Ūna puella iuvenis
Suum amantem lūget
Quem in sanguine iacet
Apud cadāvera

Suam manum parvam
Super suum pectus repausat
Adhuc in dolōre undulāns
Dum sanguinem spargit

have you read any latin poetry?

Some Catullus, but didn't analyse it. Does it show that badly?

Is there any benefit of learning latin? Do you appreciate the Aeneid better?

No benefit, but I think it's a beautiful and expressive language.

should be
>qui in sanguine iacet

and what is repausat supposed to mean? and how is one supposed to scatter blood?

also a poem of this subject matter ought to be written in elegiac couplets. what's the metre here?

>macronibus scriptum
DELE HOC

None, I just wrote it for fun and training.

Repausat is to rest. And the blood is sprayed, not scattered.

ok, pauso is post-classical, i would use requiesco instead. i still don't understand why she is spraying the blood.

also the excessive use of suus and its cognates is a bit clumsy.

I'm new to learning latin, but wasn't it strongly regimented by meter? I can't see any patten to short/long vowels here

The man (her lover) is spraying blood, not her.

Dactylic hexametre, I think. You'd need some degree in Latin to manage those, though, this was a free-verse translation I did for fun.

Sounds like uh greek to me

Why are you such an asshole?

The criticism I gave was purely constructive

Sure it was, but you were a dick to OP. Especially the dickhead rhetorical question like "how does one scatter blood" or "what's the metre here?".

OP here, no need for that.

Do you at least know that 'una' doesn't actually mean one, right?

Way to be condescending. Yes, I do.

You do realise it's ūna and not una, right?

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