Thoughts?

Thoughts?

one of my hobbies is reading bible passages in an exaggerated, hysterical southern drawl sometimes for hours at a time; the neighbors once called the police for disturbing them

The historical books are interesting, but to get the most out of them they should be read side by side with contemporary sources. Ecclesiastes is probably the high point of the Old Testament. The prophecies are fun. The poetic books are either shit, or shit in translation. I don't speak Jew.

The New Testament, overall, is a step down. The sermon on the mount is powerful, and getting a first person account of life in Rome is neat, even if that first person happens to be a retard who can't appreciate what he sees around him. But it's not until Revelations that you get any particularly juicy language.

lol'd

great hobby!

YHWH tier
>Pre Kingdom of Israel historical books
>Job
>Luke
Great tier
>post Kingdom historical books, king David and king Solomon and the like
>Matthew
Good tier
>Revelations
>Mark
>Psalms and Songs
Okay tier
>Rules books
>Jonah
Bad tier
>Prophet books
>Apocrypha that isn't Maccabees
>John
My God why have you forsaken me tier
>Acts
>Letters

Yesterday I read that Margaret Thatcher kept a copy of Wealth of Nations in her purse. I think this is really stupid, was she gonna stop and real quick do some studying on capitalist economic theory. She was a fucking poser desu (She probably never even read the part where Smith outlines the necessity of organized labor).

Carrying The Bible is much better because at least you can pop it open and read some cool stories about Israelites killing Phillistines or people getting tricked and other parables.

The feeling that you get reading the Bible is like no other. Isn't it amazing that we have this book which is the actual Word of the Lord? When I sit down with my Bible and begin to read it's like the Holy Spirit is right there with me.

Genesis is of course essential. It's an important lesson that explains why man is where he is today. The Book of Deuteronomy is especially moving, and highly informative. It lays down important laws for our conduct that keeps us away from the path of sin. For example

>A woman shall not wear a man's garment, nor shall a man put on a woman's cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God

You're reading a Catholic bible, I hope? Personally I would not read anything written by a Protestant. I would suggest reading The Book of Kings, Psalms, Proverbs, and then all of the Gospels. I can't stress how important it is to read the Gospels, if you read only the Old Testament you are basically Jewish. And then of course you should read Romans, Corinthians, and the Book of Revelations. As you can imagine this is a very eye opening section.

>And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet colour, and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls, having a golden cup in her hand full of abominations and filthiness of her fornication

God bless.

My diary desu

Son you are like five posts too late.

I like how genesis has an almost proto-absurdist message to it; god is fickle and unknowable and things happen to people that don't really deserve it; Cain didn't deserve to be scorned and Abel didn't deserve to be murdered, but both of these things happened because the world is a weird, cruel place that doesn't always make sense, and god is the same way, but the characters struggle against their happenstance.
Maybe I'm reading into it a bit too much but I feel very strongly that genesis has a "you just gotta deal with shit sometimes man" theme to it

>Cain didn't deserve to be scorned
I base this on East of Eden and not my own conclusions but I think you're wrong. God refuses Cain's sacrifice because God doesn't like vegetables and Cain takes it as a punishment when God was just stating His preference. Cain murders Abel out of jealousy which was wrong but very human, God understands this and tells Cain to wander the Earth but forbids harm from coming to him so that he may do good later, not because God was angry with him.

Pauline garbage.

But Cain tried, and all you can do in the world is try. God gave Cain the harsh lesson that in the world sometimes trying your best doesn't cut it and you have to deal with that, and Cain decides, of his own free will, to murder his brother in retribution for something he really had no control over. Cain didn't learn his lesson, and God, who is more of a manifestation for the earth or the machinery of nature, especially in this story, makes it so that Cain will learn this lesson: you struggle for the joy, and sometimes being a good person isn't enough to get it, so you have to pick yourself up and start again.
You could draw parallels from Cain to Sisyphus in a way

>rules books that high
>above John
Bad taste, desu.

Reading Leviticus is more fun than watch John homolust for Jesus

>people giving the Bible 1 star reviews on goodreads thinking they're clever
For what purpose

I don't think it's so much God being arbitrary but that Cain didn't put forth any effort in his sacrifice. And God doesn't punish him for this either but gives him a pep talk. But instead of trying harder next time he falls deeper into resentment and kills his brother. I think the point is "you have to make life better for yourself or you'll become a resentful asshole."

I've been wanting to read it through but I can't bring myself to it. So far I waded my way through the Pentateuch, then jumped to the poetic books which I loved, now I'm looking to read a small assortment of the historical and prophetic books before I move on to the Jesus part.

The big five start off amazingly, but it slowly goes downhill by the midpoint of Genesis, somewhere after the flood. They're repetitive and feel like a loose compilation whose editor, contrary to modern practices, didn't want to sift through the material and keep what was best and essential but rather looked to cram in as much as he could while still making a general impression of unity. The most boring parts were not, as I had been warned, the laws in Ex, Deut and Num--actually I found those quite interesting--but rather the actual narrative which seemed to me very topical, parochial, thus irrelevant. Most people would disagree though. On the whole however, the big five were worth it.

The poetic books were far better. Ecclesiastes and Job are, well, God-tier; Job does feel just as puffed up and badly edited as the above, though its form flaws are very much forgivable in light of the content. The Proverbs and Psalms have soothed and lulled me these few winter nights; "comfy" is, I believe, the board-approved term. Did I say repetitive? Can't help repeating that. Still not repetitive enough to bore me as much as the wilderness wanderings and subsequent shenanigans. As for Ecclesiastes, it should be taught in schools and read by everybody.

From the Historical books I've read last night Ruth and Esther, which were quick and fun and do not fit in with the rest anyway. They were recommended in an old archived thread. A few days ago an user was preaching about Lamentations and Isaiah. Any other worthy, hopefully short, books in the good ol' shekel-aficionados' Bible, Veeky Forums? What about the Apocrypha, anything good in there?

Oh, and another question for you Bible experts out there: when does the Holy Ghost show up for the first time? So far I haven't encountered even once those words.

Isaiah is pretty much the key prophetic book as far as I can tell, though you'll get mixed opinions on it. I think if you liked rules books you'll probably like it. Daniel has some good apocalyptic imagery in it. Jonah is pretty good, short, it's kind of the comedic relief of the prophetic books. About a reluctant prophet.

I haven't read the whole thing, but I'm pretty sure the Holy Ghost/Spirit shows up in the New Testament.

>when does the Holy Ghost show up for the first time?

IIRC, it's hardly even a "character" in the same sense that Jesus and God are actual beings/characters in the Bible. It's really just an epithet for "the spirit of God".

It's very first mention is usually considered to be Genesis 1:2, depending on your translation:
>... And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. (KJV)
Other notable translations that use "Spirit of God" here are: ESV, ASV, RSV, Douay-Rheims, NASB, NET, NIV.

On the other hand, the NRSV and NABRE use "wind from God" and "mighty wind", respectively. The NRSV, in particular, is in line with Jewish translations of the Old Testament (or, for them, the Tanakh), which tend to use "wind from God", too.

The Holy Spirit doesn't ever make an appearance; it's more of a symbolic representation of the light and love of god coming into you
Nevertheless, in Acts it shows up and helps the apostles preach the Passover(? Maybe it's Pentecost) after Jesus' death.