Sup Veeky Forums, let's discuss terrible restaurants in your town that quickly closed

Alright, that makes sense. It isn't like Wisconsin is known for their excellent buffalo mozzarella, I will give you that

Calling major BS

It is. I remember this exact same thread years ago.

>place called Wild Berries
>they had this massive restaurant, I mean really massive building out by a bunch of hotels
>painted all bright colors like lime green, lavender and hot pink, like some 80s vomit disaster
>go in once with roommate to see what it was like
>menu was massive, like ten pages of Denny's-tier foodstuffs, just greasy spoon shit
>order some omelet with hashbrowns
>omelet is hard, hashbrowns are soft
>roommate's food isn't good either
>we're the only people in the entire restaurant although they had the potential to seat like 300 people at a time or more
>owner/chef comes out and asks if we'd like to try a complimentary piece of pie
>say yes, begin looking at the dessert menu, at least 30 types of pie on it
>he comes back with two pieces of pie we didn't order
>it's some kind of pineapple goo pie with a coconut meringue on top, graham cracker crust falling apart, it's not very good at all
>he says "it's like a pina colada pie, but with pineapple so it's tropical"
>don't have the heart to explain to this dumb old man what pina colada means
>leave
>never come back
They closed after about four months.

I've got one:
>Cafe Gratitude
>Organic/
>Raw
>Vegan
>Fruitarian
>Before every order you had to say what you were grateful for in life
.>Hippie servers
>Never remembered what you ordered
>last 3 months in my town

Californians are scumbags

I'm a gratarian but even hat is going too far.

Dick's Last Resort
Only it's not closed.
www.dickslastresort.com

>From the website
DICK SEZ:
"Hope yer hungry, Sucker! From lip-smackin, fall-off-the-bone ribs to buttery fresh crab legs,
our kitchen pros will fill yer gullet with the finest ingredients this side of wherever! We've got
Ribs, Chicken, Seafood, Burgers, Sammiches, Appetizers, Salads, Desserts, and all the Booze
you could ever use! Go ahead and loosen yer belt 'cause yer Bucket O' Good Grub is served!"

ehh, it's a gimmicky tourist restaurant. i've been to the one on the riverwalk in san antonio. they gave my sister a hat that said "the blonde is fake but the dumb is real" so whatever, had a good chuckle.

>in Brazil
>self service "chinese BBQ" place
>no chinese food, only BBQ and some kinds of sushi... (also tipical brazillian food)
>owners are actually Chinese...
>everything tastes the same... LITERALLY the same, with exception of the rice, even chicken, the sushi and the pig tastes the same... some weird taste like old oil...
>cheap and dirty...
>revisitted the city again last month, its still there... I didnt go in but I could smell that old oil smell from the goddamn door...
>the place is always packed...

Berkeley?
The food orders themselves were things like "I am blessed"

>To Go, a burger joint near a high school in LA
>Run by Armenians
>Food is pretty good, but more expensive than the nearby Taco Bell
>Takes forever to get your food, so there is nothing To Go about it
>Lasts maybe a couple months before being replaced by Tub's Fine Chili, which is based

Literally still open in Los Angeles

>Rainforest cafe

Christ, I hate California now and I'm liberal. That restaurant needs to implode from their own absurdity.

Those Californians can be a bit much. Good thing there are so many kinds of us.

>a restaurant recently opened up in my town last year
>it's basically like a coffee-shop but they serve cereal instead of coffee
>about $8.00 for a bowl of trix and some strawberries
>parking lot has been empty since the first couple months
They haven't closed yet but I wouldn't be surprised if they did.

So Youre the kind of faggot that would complain at a french resturaunt because the truffles come from Italy?

Kill yourself nigger

>French restaurant
>no French salad dressing
>no French toast
>at least they French fries
>check the ketchup...it's Heinz
The fuck is this shit?

You're from chicago and thats a chain of resturaunts.

>be Canadian
>live in bilingual town with majority French population
>Frenchies will support any French business regardless of how shit but boycott anything not owned by french local
>rumor has it two French families that own most of the property in town raise rent on any non local business
>shitty family restaurant is in business for years
>they serve shitty versions of popular dishes from these type of places but for a higher price
>shit like nachos but topped with pizza cheese, green peppers, tomato and bacon or a club sandwich with turkey cold cuts and walmart brand tier bread
>restaurants and other businesses give up trying to move in
>all wondering why the town's growth has drastically slowed down and local businesses have no traffic
>restaurant owner throws fit outside town meeting about the big bad Englishmen going into the city to eat good food and abandoning the town
Moved out of there recently, good riddance

desu, Quebecois are truly a different bread of citizen...Anglos spend money on houses and interior fixings while Francos spend all their cash on going out and cloths...

Stopped in on a buddy of mine in Montreal a few years back...he's got a new Yaris, yet a mattress on the floor, no table or chairs and a shit load of milk crates...

Guess he ate well and was up with all the latest fashion though...

>hippy place in the closest 'city' that serves only juice, toast, and sandwiches
>around $10 for toast with hummus and goat cheese on it
>food is all right but I could make it just as good at home without emptying my wallet
>juice I could make in the blender
>have dumb names for everything and actual call sandwiches "sammies"
>takes forever to get anything and they barely use hairnets
Still open to my knowledge.

I worked here, for reference I live in a fairly small town
>raw vegan takeout place
>had like 15 glass jars of things like dried dates and nutritional yeast and usually 2 small entrees that always looked wet or burnt and you were supposed to make a boxed lunch out of that.
>the owner\chef would ask people if they ate non raw vegan food or if they vaxinated their children and then yell at them until they left if they said yes.
>closed in about a year when the owners husband stopped paying for it because she ran off all the regulars and it would stay empty for days.
>the entire time she was open she only made about $1000 in sales.

t. butthurt anglos

>cajun restaurant called "Gator's"
>gimmick was they actually served alligator
>am cajun so i looked forward to having a place like this near me
>the gator was just fried nuggets and was super expensive
>the only other supposedly cajun food was gumbo
>it was even "dark" gumbo
>but not really
>it was basically just a veggie stew and tasted like they just tossed a packet of instant gravy to make it "dark"
>the rest of the food was grease and salt based
Fucking white trash appropriating the term "cajun" acting like it applies to them.

Wait too much avocado in everything makes it California style

I live in a bible thumpin', rural, Alabama town. Local golf club announces alcohol free policy. No beer in snack bar or dining area. New menus decorated with crosses, fish symbols, and bible verses. 6 months later, file for bankruptcy, reopen under new management, and lotsa booze. Even Baptists want their likker.

>nachos but topped with pizza cheese, green peppers, tomato and bacon

Fuck you, pizza nachos are GOAT.

Although I did grow up in a shitty town (American south) that was being strangled to death by the Town Fathers who owned the local (shit tier) grocery store, used car lot, and so on, and refused to let anyone else into town.

Not a restaurant, but in my town we had a bar that was called #thebar. They lasted about 2 months.

>haha bro you know how people always say "the bar" when talking about like any bar? why don't we just open a place called "the bar" it will for sure be a hit

Nice repost, faggot.

their closed. Yelp page prolly isnt up anymore you dub piece of shit

and we all moved to colorado. Now colorado is fucked.

I used to go to a place called "the pub"

Get this. The place is called Country Boyz now, and it's a fucking black bar. Small town, USA is fucking weird.

>boolean search for Big Dick Burger
>only result is this thread
Put this at the top of the list of things that never happened.
Google and Internet Archive cache Yelp, btw.

There was a short lived bar called the Bull and Bear Tavern. Trying to be a high class white collar bar in a blue collar town. Funny story, the bar was sold and soon was a known gay bar. They didn't have to change names. But again, even that was short lived

WHAT THE FUCK? I'M THE GUY WHO ORIGINALLY POSTED THIS. I'M THE GUY WHO ACTUALLY WENT TO JACKASSES. I THINK I EVEN USED THAT IMAGE IN THE OP.

Could you at least start threads like this with an original story, instead of stale pasta?

having a car is nice, id probably get it before furniture too if i had to choose like that guy

>a new Yaris
Whoa, I bet that guy is loaded.

...

I really don't get the hate you canadafags have for quebecois. When I bummed around the US for a couple of years the quebecians that were vacationing here that I hooked up with were always good folk. It seems to me like you canuck tribal anglos have the same kind of attitude the coasts have to flyovers, no?

>Bull and Bear Tavern
wut

There's a Bull and Bear Tavern near me that's a 10/10 comfy british pub with insanely cheap food and great beers on tap.

I suppose that's a common name.

kek. I know the feeling. They rail against the sin of drink and gambling, but go to a Mississippi casino at 11:00 A.M. on Sunday and count the number of hypocrites dressed in their sunday best pulling the slot arm and swilling free liquor. How can you not be cynical nowadays?

When our ship pulled into port in Baltimore, all the BM and deckfags insisted we hit that place first.

Food was okay, drinks were great. 6/10.

Which hick town are you from? Sounds like a town near Montréal.

Yelp keeps shut down restaurants in their database for years.

>Based bar and restaurant named Elishas gets sold
>replaced by some shitty chinese place lasts a few years
> Another Chinese place goes there
> Lasts like 8 months
>Yet another chinese place goes there
> Doesnt last long
> Now, another restaurant is there, its a "Chinese/American" place
>They have Chinese food, plus "american" food like Nacho's, burgers, etc.

Its not that bad desu.

The baptists think it's pure evil here, regardless of underlying illnesses, general behavior, problems it helps you solve.
I sit at home alone and drink beer and never got in a tiny bit of trouble. Yet I'm still hiding from the entire baptist church at the age of 26 because they will disown me for a 12oz can.

And they all drink and eat opiates in secret. That's just a fucking fact. Their game faces all include coming to church pissed off their faces and then bitching about drunkards.

It's an evil I have to deal with. I don't join these conversations. I have lupus and can't take opiates, I'm fucking thrilled to have a beer and then lay on my couch and rot. Fuck the baptists.

lol my friend worked there

There was a place in my home town for a while called "nomz", which served "traditional American food" which consisted of burgers, hot dogs, diner breakfast plates in the mooning, etc.

Whether there once and the service was mediocre, not awful, but not great either. The food on the other hand was shit. I had a cheese burg and fries, the burger was a wet mess that feel apart when you started to pick it up (I ended up eating it with a fork) and the fries were cold soggy steak fries that I just didn't eat.

Never went back after that, don't remember how long it was open.

Dude, you really need to tell them that. I know, I live in a small town in the south (gag), but when those smarmy fuckwads knock on my door, I tell them to fuck off and if they're not off my property in 1 minute they'll be dealing with my hounds from hell (pic related).

Isnt that place run by the Landmark cult?

>"Our Best Restaurant"
>Southern throwback old people shit
>Everything was fried or smothered in gravy
>Apple sauce was at least 50% cinnamon
>Meatloaf tasted like gravy
>Cornbread was so greasy you literally drank out of it like a sponge
>One big fucking room full of round picnic tables and shit
This was 9 years ago but I remember this experience so vividly, must have lasted about a year or so, the chain still exists but I would not recommend.

>cornbread
>greasy
what the fuck

there is always a vacant restaurant space in the shitty mall we have in our small town and whenever a new place starts up it's closed within 6 months. i assume they close down because they suck ass and i think the last one was charging quite a lot for what was shit food at best.

>People will never know the feeling of sadness seeing "Cajun" themed restaurants outside of Louisiana

It's a literally waterboy tier mockery. I make it a special case of mine to go in with my thickest drunken accent, speaking half shit French and try some food, while looking extremely disdained the entire time you eat. Those fucks left the shells on the shrimp in my poboy once. Fucking Yankees. God forbid getting anything like.gumbo, you already know it's gonna be watered down bullshit.

Next time I go I'll ask for possum blood or some shit. These fucks won't know I'm mocking them.

I don't get this place, like sure it could be funny but it sounds annoying as fuck. Why would I pay people do debase me?

>People will never know the feeling of sadness seeing "Cajun" themed restaurants outside of Louisiana

On the other hand, when you do find a good cajun restaurant outside of Louisiana, it makes it all that much more impressive and satisfying.

It is depressing that the good ones are so rare. Hell, even the best ones usually hit or miss on a menu item or two.

I have yet to find a place that can serve both good red beans and rice and good etouffee. it's always one or the other. and don't get me fucking started on the god damn state of jamby our boudin outside of Louisiana. What a fucking disaster.

Sounds like NB

ghetto sf bay area townie as fuck hick suburban location. we have a Mexican restaurant, burger place, Italian dinner and some fast-food. pizza place closes down an in its place is a 'hot dog shoppe' . me and whiteheads buddy were smoking weed n picking up beer one Tuesday morning and are like "what's this place? and walk inside , there's like hotrod photos all over the walls, 50's style booths and an 80y.o lady I. a poodle skirt at the counter. I look at the menu, it was hotdogs and nothing else so I walk out, wtf. never saw anyone in there or ever heard anyone talk about it. the next time I came back home it was gone

Jean your grammar is slipping through

Calm down ignatius

Lel, I'm unironically american. And my true experience interacting with a number of quebecois has been positive. They must like travelling, because everyone from canada I met in my extended journey around the US was from Quebec. I like them. They always seemed like decent folk to me, but I don't have your ingrained tribal prejudices about them. You also don't have the ingrained tribal prejudice I have against niggers, so I guess we're even. If you met niggers travelling in canada, you'd probably think they were good folk too.

Don't forget Washington State, now it too is fucked.

i ate at a place in Pinedale Wyoming just like this

>Dub
Was that on purpose? Because he did get some nice dubs

Judging from other dishes with cali in their name, either vegan/vegetarian, outlandish amounts of avocado and exorbitant prices for the food.

>Yet I'm still hiding from the entire baptist church at the age of 26 because they will disown me for a 12oz can.
Why do you care if a religious community you're not part of "disowns" you?

I grew up near Beaumont, Texas. Plenty of great cajun places, plus everyone knows how to make it good at home. I grew up on my dad's gumbo and etouffee. Just had a big crawfish boil two weekends ago.

However, this is only incidentally because I lived right on the border of Louisiana, so I guess the point stands.

Also from the Golden Triangle area. We're basically Louisiana anyway so that barely counts.

The was a food cart near my house in Queens six or seven years ago that sold "food".

I paid $5 for a styrofoam container with cold rice and rock-hard meat of some kind, there may have been vegetables underneath. I don't think it had a license to sell anything and was just there squatting, it was so sketchy I was too scared to ask for a refund.

I live in Austin, there's a few places to get good cajun food here.

I've have crawfish 3 times this spring

Look up the menu from a place called "Mellow Mushroom". They kinda go insane with the specialty weirdo topping assortments. They're pretty good, though.

Is this in Britain somewhere? I remember a news article about that.

>fish store
>not a restaurant, just a place to buy fresh fish
>fish gradually gets less and less fresh
>store starts preparing meals
>eventually starts preparing completely irrelevant shit like burgers and pasta
>by now fish is secondary
then they get a second wind
>stop doing shit with prepared food
>go back to pretty fresh fish
>and ice cream - not good ice cream, really bizarre and obviously artificial ice cream
If you've ever had "frozen dessert treat" that refuses to melt even under near-boiling water, it was like that shit with flavored syrup on it. They didn't last more than 2 months after that started, nobody wants ice cream when the smell of moderately fresh fish hits their nostrils.

ended up being replaced by a delicious, proudly inauthentic mexican/tex mex restaurant that has stayed in that building longer than any previous store

I posted about this when it happened a few years ago.

> live in somewhere in big city Asia
> some dippy kid decides to start a vegan pizza restaurant
> announces how it'll have only vegan stuff
> nothing for anyone else, just vegans
> vegan fake fucking cheese even
> I figure he'll last six months tops
> four months later he posts a going out of business sale
> I buy some stuff off him dirt cheap
> it's all in perfect condition, looks like new

Felt a little bad for him because the stuff was so nice and he sold it so cheaply, but seriously, how stupid do you have to be to try to start a restaurant based on forcing an unpopular dietary preference on the customers?

What Asian city? He probably could've gotten business from Buddhists if he marketed properly.

Lighten up jackass

Oh, and another one. Keep in mind, Asia.

> some guy starts a high-end German restaurant
> I try to find it, can't
> turns out it's in the middle of nofuckingwhere
> have to drive forty minutes out of the city
> it's in a row of commercial buildings that have zero parking anywhere near them
> literally facing onto a high speed main road
> back of building is a beach
> I get there a week later
> wedge my scooter onto the front entrance
> he's already permanently shut down
> says he has no money to keep it running
> was literally expecting to post a few mentions of it on an expat bulletin board and have customers flock in from miles away
> that didn't happen
> he isn't even going to try to keep it afloat until he develops a customer base

Like, Jesus fucking Christ, did you plan this out?

Taipei.

Yeah, there are some vegetarian restaurants for Buddhists, but the rules aren't merely "vegan", they cannot eat "warming" foods which means no onions or garlic. And the Buddhists do allow animal-based food, just no *meat*.

Vegan cheese? Ain't nobody gonna eat that shit voluntarily.

Is this at all related to Dirty Dick's Crab House in NC?

Ordered a massive hamburger because I'm a glutton: probably 1 lb of ground beef, bacon, onion rings (on the burger), barbecue sauce, 4-cheese blend, lettuce, tomato, pickle. Comes with fries on the side. Called the Galaxy Burger or some shit like that (because it'll be going past Uranus! Hyuk hyuk!). Around $18 in total. Patty comes out still pink, send it back to have it cooked some more.

Safe to say, they don't serve that anymore. At least they comped the burger.

>pre 2008 Obama administration
>Mediocre plates of food and poor sevice
>at least they know how to pour beer right
>20$ plates of food
>2008 recession hits
>same restaurant has relaunched 4 times already with same owners
2017 and its still medioce
>If you met niggers travelling in canada, you'd probably think they were good folk too.

I nearly lost my shit laughing in the library

This place called begonias by my house.

The food actually was amazing most of the time, but there was no centric theme with food from all over the world, the place was named after a fucking flower, it was like 15-20% too expensive and the decor was 1960s knockoff european restaurants with local college art put up on the walls (although the art was generally nice, it didnt fit at all). I actually loved going there, and could tell the chef knew what he was doing, but he desperately needed a manager or someone who know what they were doing outside of the food. Every time I went I was the only one in the restaurant, it was kind of sad really.

Although for the year it was open it was my go-to place to bring girls I had over the night before from brunch/lunch, and they always liked it because we'd be the only ones there and the food was good.

Because they are whiny little cunts who want to separate but still use Canada's natural resources like a real province

No one likes them because of their shitty attitude to anglophones

Learn a real language please

amazing, I've cooked at some shit places but that's just incredible

>'Gastropub' opens up near me just as my area begins to gentrify
>Every pint is like a fiver plus (pub next door is two quid a pint)
>They serve what on the face of it should be great food - Skate wings, crab linguine, good burgers and steaks etc etc and the pub classics ofc
>Except it's all terrible, it's like they've gotten the ingredients all together but brought in someone who has never cooked before in their life to try and put it all together.
>Lasted just shy of a year
>Shame as they did have some nice ales on tap
>Now it's a Taiwanese 'street food' place
>Fuck hipsters