Why isn't there a Veeky Forums bar exam? You know...

Why isn't there a Veeky Forums bar exam? You know, like an exam that Veeky Forums users have to go through to gain access to the site?

I only want to shitpost amongst the literary élite.

Because the best part of Veeky Forums is telling people how much smarter I am than them. Especially /pol/tards

There you go

Just go insult people on /pol/ then.

>tfw too introspective and autistic to integrate into normie society
i don't understand their way of life so it's wrong

Here they are insects. On /pol/, they swarm you like locusts.

>tfw this is what literature looks like to normies

haha

Normie is actually a word they used to ridicule people like you, y'know. Anyway, don't need to worry about a thang bby, that shit is nigger talk.

There is. You need to have read at least 15 out of these, preferably 20+

Absolutely Required Works:
The Odyssey and the Iliad by Homer (~12th - ~8th century BCE)
Major Plays of Aeschylus (456 BCE)
Major Plays of Sophocles (406 BCE)
The Holy Bible (~8th century BCE - 1st century CE)
Genesis
Exodus
Daniel
Ecclesiastes
Job
Psalms
Romans
Gospels (Matthew, Mark, John, Luke)
Revelation
Apocrypha
The Aeneid by Virgil (19 BCE)
The Divine Comedy by Dante (1307)
Don Quixiote by Miguel de Cervantes (1605)
The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (1616)
Paradise Lost by John Milton (1667)
Faust (Part I and II) by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1808, 1832)
Eugene Onegin by Alexander Pushkin (1833)
The Major Tales of Nikolai Gogol (1840s)
Moby Dick by Herman Melville (1851)
Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert (1856)
Crime and Punishment by Fyodr Dostoevsky (1866)
Major Plays of Henrik Ibsen (1870s)
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy (1877)
Dubliners and Ulysses by James Joyce (1914, 1922)
The Magic Mountain by Thomas Mann (1926)
The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner (1929)
The Aleph and Other Stories by Jorge Luis Borges (1949)
The Recognitions by William Gaddis (1955)
Pale Fire by Vladimir Nabokov (1962)
Gravity’s Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon (1973)
Zettels Traum by Arno Schmidt (1970/2016)

*Some substitutions allowed. e.g. TBK for C&P, AK for W&P, other Flaubert, etc.
**This is just a BARE MINIMUM for peopel who profess to be interested in literature.

OP here. I got 21 (22 if you count Ibsen, but fuck Ibsen desu).

not bad senpai, now it's time to work on depth + expanding breadth. start here.

Lesser Known Works by Famous Authors

Unknown Masterpiece by Balzac (1831)
Demons/The Possessed/The Devils by Dostoevsky (1871)
The Forged Coupon and Hadji Murat by Leo Tolstoy (1910, 1912)
Babylon Revisited and Other Stories by F. Scott Fitzgerald (1931)
The Glass Bead Game by Hermann Hesse (1931)
Invitation to a Beheading by Vladimir Nabokov (1935)
Doctor Faustus by Thomas Mann (1947)
The Fall by Albert Camus (1956)
Krapp’s Last Tape by Samuel Beckett (1958)
Butcher’s Crossing by John Williams (1960)
The Old Capital by Yasunari Kawabata (1962)
October Ferry to Gabriola by Malcolm Lowry (1970)
Suttree by Cormac McCarthy (1979)
Baltasar and Blimunda by Jose Saramago (1982)
Blow-up and Other Stories by Julio Cortazar (1985)
Foucault’s Pendulum by Umberto Eco (1988)
The Unconsoled by Kazuo Ishiguro (1995)
Mason & Dixon by Thomas Pynchon (1997)
By Night in Chile by Roberto Bolano (2000)
Seeing by Jose Saramago (2004)

6 kek. I've read different books by the same authors though.

Fair point.

That doesn't account for people who are Eastern literature specialists. I don't do much with Western lit.

Brilliant

Why would you include Kawabata so randomly here, and no other Japanese author in the first list?

>Here they are insects. On /pol/, they swarm you like [a species of insects].

because japanese authors don't have any real influence on "The Canon"

this is a bare minimum foundational books list senpai, not a comprehensive/representative list of "good books"

You wouldn't pass the exam.

>Here they are insects. On /pol/, they swarm you like [a species of insects that swarm].

On Eastern canon, they do.

but litterature is so boring that only we self-masturbatory ego-faggots have the time to bother with it anyway. All the other morons are at /v/ and /tv/

Nigga, I wrote the exam

>The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (1616)
That's impressive that he wrote all that shit in the same year

the eastern canon is irrelevant

if it was an eastern canon list it'd just be all chink books desu

You and I both know that you wouldn't pass the exam.

Nigga I didn't just write the exam, I AM the exam

>shakespeare invented the human in a single year

the madman! is there anything billy shakes CAN'T do??

>The Odyssey and the Iliad by Homer (~12th - ~8th century BCE)
>The Divine Comedy by Dante (1307)
>Don Quixiote by Miguel de Cervantes (1605)
>Faust (Part I and II) by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1808, 1832)
>Crime and Punishment by Fyodr Dostoevsky (1866)
>Major Plays of Henrik Ibsen (1870s) (read two I think, Dockhus and some other...)

I've read parts of the Bible and I'm dating a christian girlfriend right now...
Also read like 3-4 William Shakespeare plays and watch movie versions of them

*sniff* I guess I don't belong here. And I was about to start reading Anna Karenina and Madame Bovary too...

It takes decades of devoted reading to become part of the literati.

Why not Euripides?