HELP. My coworkers keep stealing my lunch out of the office refrigerator. Wat do?

HELP. My coworkers keep stealing my lunch out of the office refrigerator. Wat do?

Other urls found in this thread:

funnyjunk.com/channel/Veeky
youtu.be/bYAwcT0tJx4
law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/18/1365
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

Get a new job.

I worked with a guy who kept getting his pizza stolen so one day he got pissed off and licked the whole thing.. the pizza was gone again. left a note in the fridge the next day saying what he did

he was a gross guy too

aside from that get your own personal fridge

There is nothing you can do bar keeping a cooler in your car and using that instead.

Your friend is a fool because those people will want payback, they will fuck with his food everyday.

make a sandwich and wipe your ass with the bread then cum on the filling.

>driving to work

Cuck

What do you do? Teleport?

Get a lunchbox and buy a separate lock only you have the key/combination for.

Confront them confidently. They will be embarrassed.

Booby trap your lunch. I once filled a canister with SO2 and rigged it to my tupperware. The thief actually burned his lungs since it forms sulfuric acid in contact with water so I pretty much lost my job but it was damn worth it.

I wouldn't have thought of that. I guess if you're going to get revenge on your coworkers, you don't get the satisfaction letting them know.

Can't have your coworkers cake and eat it too

I drive to work, like a normal person. You're probably some flyover faggot.

>driving to work

How cucked can one be, honestly?

>depreciating the value of your car
>spending money on gas
>risk the possibility of being in a car accident
>driving yourself to work in order to make someone else money
>being stuck in traffic
>not utilizing your time commuting by reading

>being so dumb you accidentally take the position you were arguing against because you meant to type "I use the bus"

also enjoy your diseases

Where do you work?
What's getting stolen?
I work paint and my boss once told me a story about some stolen ice cream. He took a thermos of delicious ice cream and filled the top half with white paint. The next day his ice cream went unmolested.

>reee

I take the train like a normal person. Why would you do ever do otherwise? Your tax money is literally paying for it. Might as well use it, faggot.

> getting this mad over someones choice of commute

jeez user take a step back

But you just said you drive

>being so dumb you accidentally take the position you were arguing against because you meant to type "I use the train"

sry, corrected for your sore sperg butt :(

enjoy your diseases

>I drive to work

what the fuck are you even arguing about?
youre calling him a cuck because he said he drives to work but you then claim you drive to work as well.

this shitposting is as bad as the shit you see on /v/. god damn!

>Be a chili head.
>Have normal lunches at work because I want to gas everyone.
>This kind of food thift happens.
>Mad as shit.
>Nit from Veeky Forums and a little troll in my brain starts talking to the frog.
>Take lunch to work, go about my day.
>Lunch time comes up, there are cones up, and the place is locked off.
>Apparently someone ate something ":aced with mace"
>mfw it was just ghost pepper powder on my lunch.
>Go buy something from the deli.

You can always go with making your food super spicy, no way can the situation be spun to make you look bad.

if you're driving to work as well, wouldn't that make you a cuck as well?

>all these assblasted flyovers

Wew, lads. Enjoy wasting your precious hours in traffic, you fucking faggots.

Read the thread before you sperg, cuckboy.

this is the solution. slowly increase your tolerance to chilli and then only bring really hot stuff to work

You said you drive though. Aren't you in traffic too?

>Fuck up
>pretend it was just an epic troll because you have insecurity issues

I feel sorry for your mom most of all

The best part is they learn the lesson again in a few hours.

Talk to HR.

Rat poison

>beaters with heaters are cheap
>public transit isn't free you pinko faggot
>buses get in accidents too
>spending an extra 2 hours commuting every day and not even getting paid for it, versus my 15 minute drive time
>buses get stuck in traffic too
>trains are rarely on time
>pretending like you can read on a bumpy, loud bus or train

>like a normal person
Normal people don't live in urban shitholes where they actually have subways or elevated rail.

I eat plain horse food so no one really touch my stuffs in the fridge.

I miss lunch thief...

Sounds like you're trying to feed him than revenge

kill them

funnyjunk.com/channel/Veeky Forums/K+brownies/xpGcLkc/

Make k brownies or something of that nature.

boogers and cum

really spicy pepper does indeed burn twice
did you tell the police that they just ate your extra spicy lunch? did the police question them about it in a humiliating manner? did they have to admit in public that they're a petty thief and just suffered poetic justice? did onlookers point and laugh while throwing rotten vegetables?

Use cannabis infused oils and butter in your food. Assuming your work place drug tests the employees, they will probably lose their job.

Make some food that's green, like a pea soup. Load it up with green food dye. See who has green mouth.

I hope you realize poisoning your own food in the hopes of poisoning others is a serious felony.

...

>brown eyes

Seriously. Put fast acting laxative in your food so you'll at least know who it is. Then you can fuck with and embarrass them.

Why not just lick it and attach a note beforehand to prevent theft rather than pulling a prank like that

bring something that doesn't require refrigeration and keep it in your bag/backpack/desk

That's the smartest thing anyone has ever posted on this board.

Put pineapple on it

Get a lunch box and put a lock on it.

>people stop eating your food
>they just throw it in the trash instead

good plan

>Cannabis butter
>Poison

wat

I dunno dude why steal someones lunch to begin with

poverty ass niqqas

Go Red Ross on them.

Yeah, I'd probably go for concentrated capsasin.

I have no idea. Though I suppose it could be considered "serving contaminated food" or some other legal bullshit.

The question is easily avoided by simply using some crazy-hot hot sauce. That is a food product so there's nothing wrong with user putting it in his/her food.

>He don't have a Fridge Locker

youtu.be/bYAwcT0tJx4

OP just put something in your lunch for a day or two to make it taste completely unappealing. Like making it unbearably spicy like with or you can dump so much salt in it that it will make it taste almost unedible.

I put a minifridge in my office for this exact reason. Then my boss and his assistant, and my assistant, all use it. And shit starts disappearing all over again.

They could just accuse you of spraying your food with mace if they're fully intent on getting you fired.

And it would be easy enough for a forensic investigation to prove there was no actual mace involved.

Though in many places you might still get fired--in many states a company doesn't need a specific reason to fire someone. Federal law only provides protection against discrimination based on age/race/religion.

Join a gang, kill coworker

>make lunch
>take a picture of lunch with a pet sitting on it
>put lunch in fridge
>next day, put photo of cat-ass lunch in fridge in it's place
>from then on, tape that photo to your lunch

alternately, start buying bulk packages on cup noodles and leave them in the lunch room

don't use the refrigerator, duh, gawd.

>alternately, start buying bulk packages on cup noodles and leave them in the lunch room
Fuck that, you do not feed seagulls to keep them away from you.

Why hasn't anyone brought up the fact that office break room refrigerators are never cleaned? Putting your own food in there and eating it is like playing russian roulette, anyway. Just bring a cooler with those reusable blocks that you can refreeze at night. Who knows, there might even be a /b/ level retard in your office that takes a perverse delight in doctoring the refrigerator lunches with bodily excretions.

>tainting food
>refusal to disclose ingredients

It sounds like you guys are discussing a felony and discussing illegal activities on this site is not allowed.

Whoever it was, enjoy your 10 years minimum in jail and felon status.
Probably why he got deleted.

Food tainting is scum of the earth shit. I respect thieves and murderers more than I do people who fuck with food.

But then you're the autist who keeps a cooler under his desk. Or maybe you become the cool guy who keeps a cooler under his desk. I'll have to investigate further.

What if I poisoned the food, but labeled it "Not for Human Consumption"?

That is completely legal. And you have my favor.

1) there's nothing illegal about putting hot sauce in food. Hot sauce is food.

2) Food tainting may be "low", but it's sure as fuck much better than some fag running around stealing other people's food.

Yes, it is illegal to taint people's food with hot sauce and not tell them. You will go to jail for 10 years if you cause them even mild discomfort.

It's the law, look it up.

>i like stealing food!!
>s-stop conspiring against me!

Enjoy your mouthful of feces.

>Why hasn't anyone brought up the fact that office break room refrigerators are never cleaned?

but HR cleans out our fridge every sunday.
sorry you work at a dumpy office.

It's not their food, though. It's yours.

Nevermind I did it for you.
law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/18/1365

Enjoy your felony, and this discussion stops here before we all get banned

what about ink packs like they have in banks rigged for temp

Add laxatives to your pure glass of water in the fridge.

Add a small bag of sugar-free haribo gummy bears to your lunch

then wait

Was about to suggest something like this
I would say losing your job over something like that would be worth it

Just squirt half a bottle of eyedrops in the food. Massive shits and they can't prove anything

I forgot what thread I was in dude, my apologies. I thought it was another 'spit in hamburger' pimply teenager thread.
Yes, you can spice the shit out of your food and fuck your coworkers up without remorse.

You can even do the mace thing. It's all legal. Serving it to someone is not.

You would have to prove that you sprayed the mace on your food because you were going to eat it.
If you intentionally did it because you know a coworker would steal it and eat it, that's literally food tampering.

Well, since this thread isn't about food service, your posts added literally nothing to it.

Personally I would take a huge bite in front of the cops and then spray the mace in my mouth and tell them "I like it spicy."

But you can just as easily use ghost powder or something nasty. Msg is particularly disgusting and it takes a few bites to taste it, then the vomit/beef flavor comes through and sticks.
I wouldn't call it tampering really, just call the cops and get the fucker charged with theft or burglary and lol all the way back to the desk. If they refuse to respond, mace the fucker.

Half the board is, I forgot what thread I was in obviously. The days bleed into each other when you can never leave.

No, you're just retarded.

Literally the stupidest thing.

that is not a healthy response to someone stealing your food.
therapy is expensive and for pussies but you should consider some kind of self-reflection to why you think that's a reasonable response.
I mean thats like rigging your door with an IED because a burglar broke in

I didn't make the law, maybe you should redirect your idiotic, unproductive hatred and consider reading about global rule 3 before posting again on this board, faggot.

You didn't make the law, but you did decide to bring it up in a thread where it doesn't apply at all.

>Bumpy train
Have you ever seen a rail?

If you dye it enough to colour a mouth, it's going way too green to look like any kind of food.

>Post note on Fridge, not indicating which user you are :
I cum in my food.

What a fucking idiot.

Getaloadofthisguy.jpg

Maybe people shouldnt be niggers and steal grown adults lunches out of a fridge.

Dump a fuckton of laxatives in the food and leave them to their fate.

this is usually a fireable offense

catch them doing it, then show the pictures/video to your boss

> might not be admissible in court, but its usually admissible in the boss' office

> unless this person is a favorite of the boss, in which case YOU might get laid off for threatening the teacher's pet.

listen guys, until they start smashing a bunch of city buildings to install Arcologies so that you can literally live right next to where you work...

getting to work is going to be an issue and if you're riding the bus you're at risk of getting shit stolen, among a number of things, and yes it does cost money

> and the subway is where gangs and pickpockets hang out

If you're in small town america (ie, flyover states, where the majority of americans live) the best option is actually to get an Apartment reasonably close to where you work. Most small towns are cheap, like 300-500 month rent on an apartment. Good way to save money.

Then you can probably walk to work, or ride a bike, or have a car without racking up hardly any miles on it.

Putting the /k/ in Veeky Forums

>flyover
>ride a bike

Are you being ironic? That's a fucking death penalty offense in the south. Fucking commies coming in with their envronment things. What's next? Are we gonna have a mosque open up?