I want to lose myself in a hedonistic lifestyle with drugs and sex, but i was raised religiously and get anxiety when doing anything sinful
What would you recommend besides bataille and baudelaire? I would love anything roman/greek but really anything to help me change my mindset
>I want to read books on how to party when I could just party
It's biology, not philosophy, you dweeb. Take a drug, drug stimulates pleasure center of brain, now you're addicted, congratulations. You think Cletus smokes meth in the trailer park because of Baudelaire? Read Bukowski if you want to live vicariously through a degenerate loser, or just buy a six pack.
how do i chill out?
should i study rock stars' biographies?
what philosopher's system can help me to chill out?
is there a math equation i can memorize?
Smoke weed
>change my mindset
no, save your soul
read Huysmans and go through all the depravity in your head instead, culminating with a new and true religiosity
The Christians always talk like there is this secret evil dark side to life that (but for the love of Jesus) would consume them. That it's always there tempting you and ultimate pleasure is just out of your reach.
Hate to burst your bubble OP, but no such thing really exists. People just get on the best they can. We're all hedonists seeking pleasure doing a piss poor job of it.
The Picture of Dorian Gray seems like a good choice though.
Then read Houllebecq and see that religion is for fuccbois.
Come to a decision and make up your mind. After the answer will be clear.
I recommend Taoist and Buddhist books introductory books. They will provide you with another alternative to the Christian world view you have been raised with that is not hedonistic, but yet will bring you closer to a world view that does not accept the idea of sins.
"What the Buddha Taught" by Walpola Rahula and perhaps for Taoist literature any of the recommended translations of the Daodejing will be alright. I haven't read it in English so I can't make any recommendations there.
m8 i've been brainwashed so hard that soon i ended up in the hospital because i took 90mg worth of vyvanse
thought i was having a heart attack
>Brain hardwired
>Do something sinful
>Being so debilitated afterwards vow never to sin again
>I want to lose myself in a hedonistic lifestyle with drugs and sex
Dude, it's not worth it, seriously. I mean, it's fun in a silly way, but that's about it. the only worthy thing about life is struggling, and vides only give it to you in a loathsome shitty way.
Kierkegaard
Become the Knight of Faith instead of being a faggot
Is that what Wholekek's about?
Guess I'll skip reading him.
Hey, I saw that anime!
Epicurus is your nigga.
As a bataillefag I'd recommend you Yukio mishima. Things in common:
>desire to achieve something mystical but knowing your regular socially acceptable lifestyle won't give it
>WEIRD sexual drives
>Association between sex and self-destruction
>decapitation fetish
>the need of some kind of adventure even knowing the traditional idea of adventure is no longer available
>Failure and success being strangely intertwined
>Clear distincion between instinctual and ideal love 8being able to discer exactly what qualities about the second are interesting)
>focus on dreams and internal experience, but in a clear yet subtle way
>aesthetic view on life (accepting tragedy as the best outcome because it's beautiful)
Oh, also The Magus by John Fowles.
Houellebecq actually admires him and wishes he was religious.
Honestly if you want to lose yourself with drugs and you feel anxious on drugs smoke crack. It feels pure and clean and great and you simply will not feel bad on it. It isn't really something you fuck around with and then stop so you better be damn sure you are fine with dying alone in the mud someday.
How 2 cultivate aesthetic view on life ?
I don't think it's a matter of "cultivating" yourself, it's just a matter of sensitivity.
READ DE SADE
That's the most Veeky Forums thing I have ever read. Brilliant
bertrand russell's the conquest of happiness chapter 7. I mean, the whole book too, but chapter 7 specific to you.
drugs will destroy your neurons. we have 9381719393881829919182837339929192819839291929839191938839 neurons, if you do drugs you will lose many of them
All of them friend?
Every single one?
A tip re: doing drugs: make sure the folks you do them with have other interests apart from drugs i.e. do your drugs and then discuss interesting things, rather than just talking about drugs/asinine shit/partying. Otherwise it will soon become rather boring and empty-feeling. Also this way they will be actual friends who you can hang out with sober, rather than empty drug-doing companions whom you don't actually like.
...
I was a lot like you OP. My family isn't religious, but they sure have some mental issues, having fun was always seen as wrong, my parents never had fun and they got angry or thought that ppl having fun look silly.
I don't know any literature to help you with that, my friends introduced me to a hedonistic lifestyle during college. It was pretty fun. Beer and weed almost everyday, coke sometimes. Sex sometimes, not that much really, but once in a while that girl who thinks she'll fix you would appear. SHIT, I MISS THAT!
Just go for it OP, alcohol really helps with anxiety, don't smoke weed unless you're confortable with the ppl around you.
I embraced the lifestyle once I realized that my friends were nice and intelligent guys, not losers like some ppl might say.
otherwise known as coping
take some mdma at a local festival and try to be in the moment
...
>try to be in the moment
>try to be
what if the moment includes some of those nasty thoughts you're putting your hands up against
learn2meditate
>what if the moment includes some of those nasty thoughts you're putting your hands up against
mdma is used to treat PTSD better than any other known drug for a reason.
that being said as someone who came from a religious background and never used drugs until their 20s let me tell you: you have to be very careful, limit all hard drug use of any kind to 4 times a year max and soft drug use 1-2 times a month. I've found anything outside of those strict boundaries is a recipe for a bad time and a damaged mind. control the drugs or they will control you.
remember
youre playing with a lit stick of dynamite, so you sure as hell better know when to put the flame out. let it get too close to the end and you might not pinch it in time.
boom
In case it helps you: I came from the sort of opposite side. Came from a pretty non-religious family, sent to bible day camp as a young child but seemingly just because it functioned well as a daycare center. Mother a vehement agnostic and my father a mad drunk.
Particularly when I went to university, I went hard. I went(still go to) a liberal arts college, and I did all sorts of shit; kinky casual sex, every drug I could get ahold of (in every combination I could), heavy drinking.
I don't think I consider these things a mistake, but as life got harder and my fuckups accumulated, I had to turn to something better. My drinking has nearly made me lose my scholarship, and recently led to a near arrest. It turns out that there is something much nicer in a life that involves religion and morality.
read some hunter s thompson
>Drugs
I've only ever done alcohol and mushrooms.
Alcohol makes me feel happy.
Mushrooms don't do shit besides visuals in extremely high doses.
Thinking was the same before, same after.
Maybe it's because of nihilism but even when I tried to get a sleep deprived psychosis by not sleeping for 3 days, and topped it off with 7 gram dried cubensis I only got a few jumpscares.
I sometimes feel like the only people who praise magic mushrooms and LSD so much were morons to begin with.
>I sometimes feel like the only people who praise magic mushrooms and LSD so much were morons to begin with.
the irony
Every nihilist does unconsciously.
I never denied I'm not moronic.
Is this a pasta? It's brilliant. And sad.
sadly festivals are not
Aleister Crowley. He will teach you that you can be a filthy degenerate and still be morally sound.
I wonder if you're simply getting shitty mushrooms? 7 grams dried should be enough to send you spiralling into shamanic ecstasy or a nightmarish hellhole. Maybe get them from another source, or give LSD/mescaline/DMT a shot if you don't get good results, assuming you're still curious.
lol, occasional wit like this is the reason I still come to Veeky Forums
also saging b/c I have nothing worthy to say except that, OP, you can't rationalize yourself into chilling out
perhaps read Nietzsche, idk
I can feel the effects, the change in blood pressure, heart rate, my muscles, my teeth.
I get hallucinations from a high enough dose.
But never had any sort of "expanded consciousness".