Post Veeky Forums feels that are too old school to ever experience

post Veeky Forums feels that are too old school to ever experience

>tfw no 16 year old wife that dies in childbirth

>tfw no servant to kill my dad

>tfw not an aristocrat at a time when my class still has infinite social mobility relative to the up-and-coming bourgeoisie so that i can be a huge crazy eccentric and do all kinds of crazy shit like go down to participate in an italian revolution by writing romantic poetry about some princess i fell in love with for two years who is also a nihilist feminist narodnik who dresses up like an amazon and pegs people with a dildo engraved with greek aphorisms at zola's parties, and i get weirder and weirder as i age and it has no practical impact on my life because i have infinite money from some inheritance that i can just throw around, so i just take a train to live in some famous paris commune type deal and publish angry letters in the perfect latin i was taught before i could walk about the french king's social reforms and everyone actually reads them because there's not much else to do back then, and for hundreds of years to come everyone meticulously studies every little thing i did or wrote or weird kinky sex relationship i stumbled into, all without any effort on my part because that's just what one did back then

>tfw local elder hasn't remembered poem I wanna hear

I guess I'll know Ovid in the next life

>tfw not able to find riches due to low population and low tech law enforcement
>tfw will never get rich and 'buy' the girl of your dreams to sit by your side at the fire place and stroke your cock while she sings

>tfw parents arranged a marriage with a literal 10/10 girl from the neighboring kingdom
Feels good man

>tfw will never be a bandit highwayman with my bros and get hunted down one by one as I learn the true error of my ways and am hanged with a free heart and an unclouded mind as I have found peace and communion with God

>you will never be in an arranged marriage

dating is such a hassle

>tfw you will never be out on sea after four years of whaling and encounter another fellow Nantucket whaling vessel that delivers letters and information to you and your fellow seamen, one of the letters being from an old friend who has informed you that your wife and only child have died from an outbreak of cholera

This feel so much
Like if I like the girl I'm basically good for life y'know? If she's good looking and nice it'd be perfect. Plus all that money and power the marriage will bring me.

>be me
>first day at the academy
>show up late to lecture
>whole class stares at me
>start spilling my lentils
>mumble out an excuse
>Plato tells me I'm being unjust and should take my punishment
>olive oil starts gushing from my aegis
>cover my face with shame
>try at sit down
>slip and get laughed at by some homeless fuck in the corner

>tfw never able to destroy all extant manuscripts of academic endeavor and brainwash entire populations into abandoning rational inquiry and accepting superstitious dogma as ultimate truth
feels bad, famiglia

user this is a historical feels thread not a meme atheism fantasy thread

>you will never take part in a street brawl with some actual fascists in a shitty European country between the wars

>you will never fight actual commies with your Freikorps bros

>I miss the days when women were traded around like cows
Nah, society and natural selection just got sick of little beta bitches like you.

how is living in 2017 not "Veeky Forums"

>ywn have excrutiating pain in your teeth because dentistry hasn't been invented yet
>ywn be treated by a doctor whose idea of anesthetic is "a stick to bite"
>ywn die at age 35 because no one knows what bacteria are
>ywn be trephined
Pastfags are cancer.

Gabriele D'Annunzio? My history is a bit rusty

roastie getting toastie

>you will never get prescribed cocaine and opium to cure your neuroticism by a jewish doctor like all your intellectual friends in vienna

>the academy
>not The Academy

I am disappoint

>you will never be alexander pushkin

>you will never be mikhail lermontov

>you will never be anton chekhov

>tfw you will never be able to fight in a holy war with God at your side

>tfw you will never be crucified

>tfw you aren't a witch

>tfw you will never wear flower sacs as a fashion statement

>tfw you were never born to incestuous god-kings of the desert

>tfw you give your children heroin for their smallpox

>you will never turn and spit and ride on

>tfw you light an entire river on fire

That feeling when too pretentious to name the book that I'm reading so I drop a major plot feature on an online image board so that strangers I will never meet that would not like me irl can jerk off to my totally uninspired and arbitrary taste of classic literature: the novel.

>ywn rape a virgin and force her to carry your child and cook your food and wash your clothes and...

Et cetra

>yfw her hot headed bro challenges you to a duel for raping his sis and you kill him

>tfw you have an orgy in the Tzar's palace

>natural selection
>still relevant in 2016
I guess Shaniqua on welfare with 15 kids is just favored to survive over the 40,000 white u.s. males that commit suicide every year.

Kill yourself, pussy

>ywn exist trapped in an infinitely large library containing every book ever existed
>ywn glimpse the entirety of the universe from the basement of your defunct lover's pathetic brother
>ywn be unable to perceive external reality beyond the memory of a 20 centavos coin
>ywn progresively gain William Shakespear's memories until they replace your own
>ywn kill the person who uncovered the secret of your ancestor's magnum opus to reveal the location of British artillery to German forces
>ywn fall in love and lose celibacy with your Norwegian Ann after she nicknamed you Sigurd and you nicked her Brynhild

Tepkok

>tfw you never saved or got saved by your best friend in a life threatening situation, choosing that over the main goal

>tfw traveling to a foreign land will never again be significant and make you more interesting in the eyes of your community

Travel is cheap, quick, and easy these days making it accessible to so many. I've been to Japan. 60-70 years ago, that would've been considered amazing. But now we have all these globetrotting whores and jetsetting execs. Travel is dead.

>tfw you will never spend your entire life farming and die broke and illiterate
truly tragic

>tfw you will never be an opulent monarch in Europe or East Asia and get to pluck the freshest and most virginal flowers at your heart's desire

> ywn live in a world were Picasso's ugly paintings haven't corrupted art.
> ywn never experience what it's like to have two cousins, one niece and a child die in one week
> ywn see a leppar play the handorgan

>Travel is dead.

You should probably venture out your parent's basement more often, kid.

Travel is nothing more than a vanity project for you? Jesus, man

Socrates on women.
>Socrates: You say that you cannot be happy without a women.
>X: correct
>S: I assume the relationship with said women would involve sex on a regular basis?
>X: Yes
>S:Just to clarify, having this would make your life better. As in, make you happy. Suggesting that at this moment you are unhappy until you get sex?
>X:Yes
>S:Therefore it is right to assume that all your life, there has not been a moment where you were happy? Outside of having sex with a woman of course.
>X: Well uh...
>S: Birthdays? Christmas? Hanging out with friends? Beating a hard videogame?
>X: You win socrates

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