Open Harry Potter: the first one.pdf

>open: War and Peace
>ctrl + f: autism
>no results because it's a book

>snogged
I wish british authors would quit reminding me all the time that the characters are brits, Harry Potter became 'arry Pottah in my mind.

>ctrl+f: a e s t h e t i c
>fifty billion results
Swallow our soft power, swallow it deep.

>open L'Stranger.epub
>ctrl+f: The sun
>386 results
Mfw

Its actually a blow to his credibility. He couldn't actually critic it properly without lying.

He didn't word it all that well but he means all examples of such trite cliches, not only that one in particular.

he said he marked a piece of paper every time the phrase came up and that before he dropped the book he'd marked it "several dozen times"

No he didn't.
" Her prose style, heavy on cliche, makes no demands upon her readers. In an arbitrarily chosen single page -- page 4 -- of the first Harry Potter book, I count seven cliches, all of the "stretch his legs" variety."

archive.boston.com/news/globe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2003/09/24/dumbing_down_american_readers/

>As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs." I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times.

Ah, that would be why, we are looking at different interviews.

>claims to be able to read 1,000 pages an hour
why does he tell such obvious lies?

He will be skim reading. People can train themselves to read extremely fast using this method. He probably combines that with his very well known extraordinary memory to better internalise what he reads, which is a real problem with skim reading at that speed.

Should actually stretch his legs more often, the fat fuck.

>ctrl+f: the
>0 results
hmm

It also comes from the fact that he first taught himself English visually, and that he's just been reading books almost nonstop for his whole life.

Keep in mind, he says he goes slow reading his favourite authors and encourages readers to go at their own pace.

>open pic related
>ctrl+f "grinned"
>100+ results
It was my guilty pleasure long ago.

What a hack. Obviously a children's book isn't going to be very well-written, but he actually used made up examples of "problems" within in order to shit all over it. There are plenty of legitimate flaws with the book, but he was too much of a twat to actually bother pointing any of them out.

I've never seen any good criticism of the book from him, which is surprising because he is a good critic. Perhaps he just sucks at critiquing shit stuff. I could see someone being able to articulate why they like something, but unable to articulate why they don't like something else.

>Obviously a children's book isn't going to be very well-written

I bet you're one of those people who says it's okay for kids to be reading anything no matter how shit because "Hey at least they're reading!"

He probably just doesn't want to give the effort in talking about something he thinks people are going to forget about anyway. Maybe if they ever got around to making Bloom's Critical Interpretations: J.K. Rowling he could explain in the introduction (it's a fun read when he has to write about an author he hates) but it looks like it's too late for that now.

Paraplegics need ramps to get up the stairs to the first floor of a building. There is a similar situation with children and reading levels, as children are generally retarded.

Prose can be simple enough for kids and not be shit.

If you want to know what Prof. Bloom thinks kids should read:
mrbauld.com/bloomjr.html

>open Nietzsche: the complete works
>ctrl+f: "---"
>2562 results

And yet it probably doesn't make much difference to the kid. I know I at least could not realise that Alice was better than, say, Eragon, even if I realised the differences between them which I would now say made Alice superior. I have read many comments here saying pretty much the same thing -- and many saying that people couldn't absorb shit from good quality books when they read them as kids.

Meanwhile, there is a real advantage to simply getting kids reading, no matter what it is they are reading. It provides a ramp up to legit literature, when they can manage it. --But you must keep ramping up. Lingering at YA represents a failure in parenting and education and the no-longer child's own standards.
Fuck you.

>open Plato : the complete works
>ctrl+f ''by the dog''
> 1000 results

Fun fact: in the original German books he writes "..." Most Nietzsche editors substitute "---" because it's more readable

>open Playdough: the complete works.pdf
>ctrl+f "Zeus"
>3825 results

>open Aeschylus : the complete works
>ctrl+f all words of more than 20 letters
>6 gorillion results
>mfw

I think you mean "—", kid.

I think that's more the kid's problem if they get nothing from great children's literature. Intelligent, sensitive children certainly are affected by better works and it's our job as parents to teach them how to read literature intelligently.

Of course there are advantages to being literate, but garbage is the same across all mediums. If it doesn't allow a child to become more introspective, thoughtful of others, and more appreciative of genuine aesthetic pleasures, then it's just a waste of their precious time. Time is limited, and it's always better spent among greatness. There's just no arguing that.

I actually ctrl-fd "of course" and got a metric tonne of results. Can't remember exactly what though

>I think that's more the kid's problem
Okay. But that's like just less than 100% of all kids.

>There's just no arguing that.
I just did. Checkmate, fool.

>open Plato : the complete works
>ctrl+f "ἐφμ"
>computer crashes

>Nobody ever claimed it was any more than decent YA fantasy
You've clearly never have been on tumblr, reddit or buzzfeed. Good for you.

Not being great literature doesn't make it garbage. The Potter series has a number of interesting aspects, and some very unusual and strongly played-out themes regarding institutionalized power, racism, and how fascist regimes can take advantage of everyday class and race prejudice. There are few kid's books so openly telling readers not to trust the competence or benign intentions of teachers, media, government, etc. For a tween reader, I have no qualms whatsoever in saying the series is as good a use of their time as whatever else they were likely to do with those hours (probably playing with their fucking phones).

>open user's Post.pdf
>ctrl+f: able to recognize talent
>0 results
mfw

not that user but the first time that was posted people quite got a kick out of it. might've not been the first. probably not.

First time what was posted? The pepe or the ctrl+f meme?

>there are people who actually believe this

>open the Holy Bible .pdf
>ctrl +f 'Jesus'
>782 results

Really, God?

>moving the goalposts this far
Absolutly none of what you said has anything to do with anything. In fact you admit you were wrong and the other guy was right in the first two words you used.
>And yet

Children have the capacity to improve and grow. Paraplegics aint gonna grow new legs

Yes, Bloom. That's because I read the fucking books and you didn't.

> he fell for the harry potter meme

>unusual and strongly-played-out
>at least they're reading something

ay

>open OPs legs
>ctrl+f: stretched his anus
>643 results
>mfw

There are not even 300 pages in the first Harry Potter book so there'd have to be more than 2 instances of "stretched his legs" on each page for that to be even remotely accurate.

>institutionalized power, racism, and how fascist regimes can take advantage of everyday class and race prejudice

These are good things. Why would I want kids reading books that put these things in a bad light?

>There are few kid's books so openly telling readers not to trust the competence or benign intentions of teachers, media, government, etc

Thank God.

>user 1: getting kids to read anything is good
>user 2: but kids could read good stuff!
>user 1: but that isn't any better to kids than bad stuff, so getting them to read anything no matter how bad or good is good
>user 3: GOALPOSTS

Occasional reminder that J.K. Rowling is a better writer of fiction than Harold Bloom.

I just checked my pdf and it's 28.

>50 shades of gray
>ctrl+f 'turgid member'
>274 results
>ctrl+f 'throbbing manhood'
>322 results

>there'd have to be more than 2 instances of "stretched his legs" on each page for that to be even remotely accurate.
And there is. Rowling is a hack among hacks.

You're thinking of ASoIaF.

Faggot

>open book
>ctrl+f
>nothing happens

>open ASOIAF.pdf
>ctrl+f "boiled leather"
>computer overheats, bursts into flames

Yeah, that was a terrible joke. You're not funny at all, it genuinely made me cringe.

This is actually nice.
Also "Bloom Jr." could be a very funny Veeky Forums parody in some way

Did you mean εφη?

what's so wrong with repeating phrases?

what's so wrong with using the word 'grinned' multiple times?

someone explain to me.

PEPEPOSTERS ABSOLUTELY BTFO
wEwooWeWiOOoOOOOOOOooOOOOOooooOO

There's nothing wrong with it unless it's the only word you use to describe somebody smiling, to the point that it seems inappropriate in the context of some scenes, and to the point that you can create a drinking game based on the next time the author uses the word.

>can read a page in 3 seconds
i call bullshit