"Son I want to lose weight, make me a salad"

>"Son I want to lose weight, make me a salad"
>Spend 20 minutes making them a salad
>They pour a million gallons of ranch on it
Who /fatanddumbparents/ here?

>tfw fat dad

I go to the gym with him for support and cook healthy stuff for him when I visit, but I can only do so much. :(

They spend hundreds on Nutrisystem every month and stuff their faces with it. I'm not sure what they're trying to accomplish.

I'm just the opposite. Parents are nice and fit and I've spiraled into a fat slob the past 3 years.

My dad has spent his entire life working his ass off to feed his family and on the little off time he gets he stays in excellent shape and watches his diet.

I'm sure it disgusts him to see his 270 lb son who doesn't even work.

kek. I don't know dude, but it probably has something to do with the fact that to your father you are simply a byproduct of an ejaculation that went horribly wrong.

My parents are diet posers. They have been on a "diet" for years but never lose any weight. It's not complicated they just do it to seek attention it's disgusting behavior really.

Mommy went to a nutritionist to work out a new diet plan. He put her on some protein shake diet for two meals a day, then suggested a portion controlled "colorful" meal for dinner. I watched mommy sort of try for a week and then give it up. The problem with mommy is that she never learned how to cook. She doesn't know how to use veggies.

My mother has been obese my whole life. I've long passed the point where I've accepted that I'll have to bury her in an Olympic sized swimming pool-tier casket. She'll be 66 this fall and it's not as if she's going to change at this point.

>offer to make her something good and healthy
>"No, I don't like that"
>not sure how she'd know since she never has had it
>instead will just have some frozen chicken or fish sticks and fries
>goes to Tim Horton's every day and gets a medium ice cap; on weekends, add an extra large cappuccino to this
>isn't remotely active since muh knees and arthritis (not blaming her for the second part obviously, but being like 5'0" [if that] and at least 250lbs sure doesn't fucking help)

Grandmother is fat too, but in her 80s she's in far better shape than my mother and will likely outlive her, honestly. Half the reason that I'm so anxious all the time is due to always worrying that my fat fuck mother was going to drop dead of a heart attack at any moment - even if I was silly to think that. Now my attitude is simply "Fuck it, you reap what you sow, you damn moo cow."

People need to learn to stir-fry. It isn't the healthiest way to get veg but I think it is the best way for picky fatties to eat some produce.

My grandmother is 81 with breast cancer. She has been 300+ pounds her entire life at a height of around 5'4"

She is still alive but will probably be dead within the next 2 years

My mother went on a diet after she turned 50. She is fatter now because she fell for the low-fat and fruit meme. I tried to tell her to count calories but she didn't listen because she is a narcissist and has never listened to me ever in her life.

>20 minutes to slice some lettuce, fruits and/or vegetables (seeds and nuts optional).

>Mom is convinced that it's okay to do things like eat six doughnuts in one sitting as long as she eats nothing but salad prior
>Salad laden with bacon bits, breaded chicken strips, thousand island dressing, and cheddar cheese mind you

>270 lbs
Must sound normie as fuck but I don't understand how you can reach those levels of hamplanet. Exercising/lifting genuinely feels great to do

>Mom is convinced that it's okay to do things like eat six doughnuts in one sitting as long as she eats nothing but salad prior
That's right up there with people who don't think that liquid calories count.

>eat reasonable salad (as in mod loaded with a ton of stuff like bacon)
>have 500+ calorie Starbucks mocha venti cream swirl hydrosphere bananarama Saskatchewan cappuccino with it
>"we wuz healthy n shieeet"

>ranch
why would you need anything beyond lemon juice or vinegar on your salad? why americans do this?

>Exercising/lifting genuinely feels great to do
congrats on your normal body. some bodies are just fucked up.

No, you're just exceedingly lazy. Stop making excuses, blaming some external factor for your own failing.

You can't outrun your fork. A lot of obese people clearly have problems with binge eating. I've had fat friends who could clean 1000+ calories plates and still be hungry. Their daily caloric intake would be nearly impossible to work off by exercise alone; they would have to completely change their diets too.

And they completely deny responsibility for their actions, even convincing themselves they do no wrong (those two-dozen cheeseburgers before lunch are of course forgotten about).

>Go to American friends house
>They ask if I want a Sandwich
>"Yea sure"
>They give me a burger

OP is obviously a grill who did this with a 3'' parer. Big knives are scary.

Yeah, one leaf at a time.
If someone takes 20 minutes to make a salad it better come out looking like a piece of art.

That dude is weird because no one calls a burger a sandwich. That's like calling an oreo a cookie.

When you're that fat, it hurts to work out. Not just DOMS, your back hurts for days afterwards and you don't want to go back.
Ask me how I know.

You must be trolling. Oreo's slogan is literally, "milk's favorite cookie."

my mom is not obese, but she is completely in denial of her alcoholism and the impacts it has on her health
>drinks tallboys with the cats all day
>gets fat
>user i dont understand i never eat

>drinks tallboys all day
>never eats
>has serious digestive problems and shits herself on a weekly basis because she has been subsisting on malt liquor and fried chicken for at least ten years
>user i have celiac disease you should go to a doctor and make sure you dont have it too

everytime I suggest she stops drinking, she'll dry up for a month and then says 'i didnt feel any better or worse, and i had nothing to do' and starts drinking again. She smells like old bedsheets and unwashed hair. sucks too because she is 44 and three years unemployed so on top of her being a degenerate, I have to support her, and she's probably going to be alive for at least another 15 years.

Do you fuck your fat ugly sister?

Well, yes, dude, they are technically cookies, but no one refers to them as such. Just like how burgers are pretty much sandwiches with a shit load of meat but no one calls them sandwiches.

Poison her beers mate.

>Exercising/lifting genuinely feels great to do
I'm not a hamplanet and I get exercise. However, I can't fully extend one of my arms, and one of my ankles is a bit fucked up. It turns exercise into a pain in the arse and makes the entire Veeky Forums wiki useless.

The obesity is more to do with being surrounded by zero-effort tasty calories, though.

>Dade guzzles down two liter knock off sodas
>Cooks eggs with way too much oil
>Eats mounds of animal crackers
>Saltine crackers by the sleeve
>Easily go through a whole jar of pb
>Loves greasy ass patty melts
>Mexican food errday
>Plenty of other bullshit
>Not obese af from life in construction and remaining active after retirement
>Suddenly stroke, blood clot in the brain stem
>Congrats you also have beetus
>I become caretaker, naturally being his seed I also have shit eating habits
>Changes are abound for both of us
>QT nutritionists explain the basics of nutrition
>Learn about calories in/out, macros, meal prepping
>We both gradually adjust, lose weight
>Dade makes solid recovery with therapy
>Shit's only getting better

>tfw eat shitty but am active enough that it doesn't really matter

Recent blood test results?

>visit parents
>user would you like some soda?
>tell them I don't like soda
>What do you mean?! What do you drink?!
>tell them what I have in my house, which is anything but sugary drinks
>mom is shocked that I don't drink it
>she decides to throw out her cans of coke
>is off the rack for a couple days due to a sugar cut
>starts losing weight easily and drops a couple pants sizes, even stops walking like a penguin

This is a good thing, but really she had no idea how much she was just taking in with just the drinks. Now if only she had learned to enjoy food instead of inhaling it, whenever I am eating I get a quarter in and she's already done eating and complaining about things being too slow. For example I would never be able to eat sushi with my mom cause she would eat all the pieces in 15 minutes. Whenever we bbq my parents would bake everything in 15 mins and be done with it, we eat for another 20min and that's it, never without argument cause they're in a hurry always.

Anybody have semi-unhealthy parents with a life-insurance plan? Sometimes I think about this when asking about my mother's drinking.

It hurts for the first week or so, then you get used to it. Start small and build up, the key is consistency.

>visit
Why the divorce user?

Do keto I was 270 too in 4 months went down to 210

I'm not going to be one of the guys telling you you're making excuses. instead i'll tell you why they're doing so. It's because they once were the same as you, but instead of whining and giving up when it started to get hard/hurting they kept going. and slowly it hurt less and less and their bodies went towards a normal size.

So blame yourself, not your body you fatty

I live on my own.

>Son why are you such a fat piece of shit
>Join swim team, lose 20 pounds, join gym, obtain 20 pounds of muscle
>Dad sits at home watching TV all day, bitching at my mom to get him food
To be fair, he is a 60 year old carpenter who worked for 50 of those years

And like the beta you are, you didn't tell them the problem with ranch

A very good point.
If you're going to help someone change their diet, you have to help them understand why their choices are bad in the first place. Otherwise they're going to keep gravitating toward the same shit.