Daily reminder that this stupid fucking thing exists

but then it's not fresh squeezed [spoiler]from a bag full of veggies that have already been pulped that you can literally just press together with your bare hands to extract juice actually faster than the seven hundred dollar fucking piece of internet connected iphone aesthetic hipster garbage[/spoiler], user!

youtu.be/tOgIHOtSZGo

Why the fuck is it so complicated to set up? There is literally no reason for that

The concept isn't bad for businesses(coca cola multi-fountain's do this), hospitals, etc. It's largely impractical for home use though outside someone with medical issues who needs X dispensed on Y regimens.

120 million dollar start up company. Some guy conned 120 million dollars out of silicon valley.

The idea I don't think was bad, it was everything else about it that was

I remember when my parents got onto the juicing craze back in the 90s

They juiced up a bunch of stuff, and it was good

And then we had eat the leftover mashed bits because we didn't want to waste food

Why the fuck do you need a goddamn wifi connection if you have to manually feed the packs and stock the glassess

What the actual fuck

Are you going to be remote juicing things?

to check if it's been recalled

It's all so that you have to use their proprietary juice packets so that you have to keep giving them money after you buy it. It scans a QR code on the package and connects to their database to confirm it's a valid code, the device will not work unless it is. It also deactivates codes after they've been used.

What get's me the most about this besides the price tag is that fact that it's only doing like 8 ounces at a time. The amount of time and cost for a single small glass is absurd. Honestly the price doesn't even bother me that much, people stupid enough to buy this would just be conned into buying some other useless overpriced shit anyways.

Reminder than China of all places fixed it

youtube.com/watch?v=qczImf93M_E

You have to buy a $700 dollar juicer so it checks whether the subscription based juice bags they sell you are gonna kill you or not

I don't even

The bizarre thing is, juicers aren't that complicated. MY terrible ex had a fairly nice juicer, and it took five minutes to set up and make juice, and another ten minutes to clean. The dumb part of juicers is the pulp waste. Getting a bullet and making green shakes is the better optiin.

I'm sad to live in a time where there's DRM on your juice. Much less an overpriced proprietary "juicer" that doesn't actually juice fresh fruits and vegetables existing.

YOU MEAN THERE'S A BETTER WAY?

Do not squeeze the packets by hand!

>comments are disabled for this video
I can't imagine how bad that comment section was, it has 4x the amount of dislikes to likes

What is the point of juicing? Why not just eat the vegetables and fruit

A $700 machine that presses a fucking bag of juice.

What the fuck.

Didn't they refund everyone who bought one of these when they were revealed to be a sham?

No.
They still refuse to admit it's a sham.

>good company

reading an expiration date is too hard
we need machines to tell us

>Revealed to be a shame
>Put a sealed packet of fruit/vege juice inside 'juicer'
>Flabberghasted, shocked, appalled, dumbstruck when they find out you can actually squeeze a bag yourself

They knew their target market. Why would they back down?

> it eliminates a lot of inconvenience

spending money is inconvenient. having to wait 2 mins for a machine to wring the juice out of some rapidly deteriorating mulch for a single glass's worth is inconvenient.

making your own juice is a tradeoff between mild inconvenience and the ability to make juice according to your preferences with the freshest fruit you can get. this is just expensive cartons of juice with an incredibly low shelf life and the element of choice and improvisation removed. no thanks

>there are people ITT who can't even use pic related
millennials were a mistake

the only thing I don't like is how they deliberately lock you out of being able to use it if you can't prove you didn't buy THEIR specific pack, it literally doesn't even squeeze out the juice otherwise, it won't even close.

On top of that, the juice packs are squeezable by hand. I actually think it's a novel idea to have little juice pouches like that, that you can squeeze into a glass, but then you look at it and see oh, you ahve to refrigerate it, and oh, it's non-recyclable and you have to send it back to the company, and a ton of other fucking issues.

plus the price. It's got no real reason to exist, it doesn't even act as a luxury item, it literally complicates the thing it's made for. The very definition of a kickstarter item come to fruition. A whole bunch of useless gimmicky bullshit on something as simple as a squeezer.

Wait, I'm gonna waste that much plastic on a single fucking glass of vegetable juice?

This thing screams USA so loud I'm not sure whether I love it or hate it.

I thought the machine added water or something, are these literally just bags of juice that the machine basically just opens for you?

I tried to explain Juicero to my girlfriend the other day and that's exactly what she said. They have all the processing and infrastructure in place to deliver fresh high quality juice daily or weekly to people who are willing to pay for such a service. WHY HAVE A FUCKING APPLIANCE? They could be making a killing distributing fresh juice as a subscription service. I live in silicon valley. I drink alot of juice. I'd pay good money to have juice delivered. I have discretionary spending money. I spend too much money on juice already why not spend it on convenience. They used to have milk men who delivered milk. I want juicemen in stupid outfits to bring me fresh OJ in the mornings. Fuck juicero. Fuck my life. My sci-fi juice dreams will go unfullfilled. I can't wait for the apocalypse so I can disregard California's restrictive gun laws and start a motorcycle gang to hunt my own juice in the orchards of the central valley.

>this nigga Doug probably ballin' harder than you ever will
>stupid

yes. it's basically a bag that goes through a machine belt where it gets mashed to absolute shit, then a hole gets prodded on, capped with a nozzle, then it's shipped out, it's why there's a bunch of extra husks of whatever fruits/veggies you have inside of the bag, and why you have to mail the bag back. It starts to rot after you empty the bag otherwise. Pretty quickly too. ~6 hours, horrific smell.

Even though the only people who would buy this are the retarded housewives of lawyers and their stupid college kids "studying" for a Chicano Studies degree and living in a dorm, this product still angers me. I'm not even mad at the company; it's not their fault if dipshits will hand them money for something stupid. It feels like it's one big troll job trying to point out the worst aspects of capitalism.

I tried to determine if this was a hoax, looking through videos of it on Youtube, trying to find regular people using it, instead of commercial materials by the manufacturer.

Surprise-surprise, the QR code reader in this sucks ass and fails to read the label 70% the times you put a bag in.

Insert bag, attach corners precisely, close, press button. Watch button turn orange.
Open.
Remove bag,
attach it again.
Close.
Press button, orange again.
Repeat.
At the third try it might read the code and decide to start squeezing.
Wait good 3 minutes to get a tiny glass of juice squeezed from pre-ground pulp.

At that time you should realize that buying a bottle of juice at your convenience store would have yielded juice of about the same quality, except for 10% the price and 10% the hassle.

why do they wash it twice and peel after chopping the vegetables?

this post was a wild ride

I've had a stressful day.

With all that diversity on their team I would doubt there is a good engineer among them.

>can't get a job because sperg and 2.0 GPA
>waah the pajeets took muh jerrrb
Get over it /g/, you're the 21st century equivalent of a coal miner. Shit-tier tech jobs go to cheap overseas workers. Should have studied harder instead of watching all that anime.

But I'm a bio-loser in an oversea country, not an engineer.

that thing cramps me
at least the Juicero won't cramp for a while

idc mine works fine
brb enjoying juice

Over-engineered piece of shit.

engadget.com/2017/04/25/why-juicero-is-expensive/

>I want juicemen in stupid outfits to bring me fresh OJ in the mornings.
Fuck now I do too

learn to elbow grease faggot

LMAO @ all the poor-fags in this thread who will never have the joy of convenient fresh squeezed juice delivered to their house weekly

>tfw your wifi craps out and you can't register your juice
What a time to be alive

I will never experience the glorious fresh squeezed juice this machine offers. Why even live.

Many stupid things exist. Some even more stupid than that.