Shit you get away with at the grocery store because 'self checkout'?

Shit you get away with at the grocery store because 'self checkout'?

>buying jalapeños, always throw a handful of serranos in there
>parsley/cilantro/dill one bag, one price

>Buy beef jerky
>Label it as pork jerky

Usually works for regular lines too.

>buying women's makeup to put on at home without being judged

>buying apples
>scan them as red delicious

The local grocery here used to have scales that printed out barcodes for the produce, but they got rid of them because too many jackasses were stealing shit. Now the fucking cashier has to ring up each produce item individually, which is a pain in the ass and waste of time.

This is why thieves should be hung by the neck until dead.

Post pics fagboi

>ITT: Niggers

>which is a pain in the ass and waste of time

Nothing is more of a pain in the ass or a bigger waste of time than opening those stupid plastic produce baggies. My life revolves around opening as few of them as possible.

Grocery stores save hundreds of thousands a year by making you scan and bag your groceries instead of employing more people.

They pass zero of those savings on to you. Fuck em

At my grocery store I get away with more at the staffed checkout

>uhhh what kind of peppers are these?
>scotch bonnet
>she brings up the search for peppers on the sales terminal
>there's like three different kinds of habanero but no "scotch bonnet"
>she gives up and rings them through as the cheapest pepper

HEB is horrible when it comes to not knowing produce. Worst one was this fat little fuck asked me what the fruit I was buying was, told him it's a red delicious. He looks at his chart for a few minutes and goes "Oh, it's an apple!"

That reminds me, I think the self checkout at my grocery store is messed up. Or I guess there just isn't a better option
>Fresh peppers $0.50 each
>put peppers on scale
>$.50 a pound
>practically free peppers

This.

I recognize several workers at my local supermarket and pick my line accordingly.

The old arab looking guy is super fast. He has no idea what organic vs. standard means, so even if I buy organic produce he'll ring it up as standard.

There's a college-age girl with all kinds of funky hair colors and piercings. She has only the most basic knowledge of produce: any sort of pepper? She rings it up as a jalapeno. Shallots? She doesn't know what those are--she rings those up as yellow onions. And so on.

>buying 2 tomatoes
>how many tomatoes are you buying?
>input 1
>please place on scale you lying fuck
>proceed to place baggy with 2 tomatoes on scale while holding one of them through the bag without letting it touch the scale
>get away with one free tomato

Works every time. I must have saved about 50 dollars by now.

>They pass zero of those savings on to you. Fuck em

Sure, DeShawun.

Sure.

What's the point? They can just rip those security tags off.

I did this at Walmart.

>Buy three huge apples
>Put on scale
>Enter code
>How many?
>Enter 3
>.33 cents/unit

It would have taken 30 minutes to get the attendant over, so fuck it.

I carry a knife when I go to the store because of shit like this.

>buying groceries once
>go to downs syndrome cashier
>scans all my shit
>"is dat all today s-sir?"
>yup
>at exit useless nigger checks my receipt
>probably cant even read or do math and can tell he totally didnt even look at it
>leave store
>get to car
>as im loading car realize i left ground beef in the cart and got away with it for free

cont'd

Dont those machines have to be serviced every year for like 70k?

>next grocery trip
>gonna try and get some shit for free
>at check out leave a bag of lettuce in the cart
>downs cashier rings me up with out saying anything
>walk past door nigger
>free lettuce

cont'd

Do you really think it cost $70k per machine per year to check to make sure the scale and bar code scanner is working? Does that make any sense?

>Buy bottle of vodka
>weigh it at home
>get piece of lead that has the same weight
>bring it to checkout and get as much free vodka as I want

ez

The only thing I used to do consistently was scan organic bananas and regular ones.
It's usually the cashiers that give me free shit. I got a 30$ gym bag for free from sams because the old fuck spent like 3 min trying to figure out how to open it to make sure I didn't put something in it then he forgot to actually scan the damn thing. I also got away with cocunut water cases and mineral water from there a few times.

>ok this clearly works very easily
>next trip
>leave chicken drumsticks in the cart
>get rung up and walk up to door nigger
>he's on his phone
>walk right past him
>"hol' up"
>ohshittheygotme.jpg
>yeah whats up
>"gotta check your receipt man you know just routine"
>yeah thats fine man
>looks at it for a second
>"no biggie man, i dont even really look at it to be honest with you"
>haha ok see ya
>now the games truly begin

cont'd

lol i used to do this all the time when i was a poor student. put two potatoes in the bag, got the sticker and put 5 more in. i'm not proud of it but i used to be really hard-pressed for money.

Yea, b2b can gouge more

I used to get almond flour and charge it as corn meal at winco. Made mad bank reselling the macarons to dumb Asian people at uni. Those ducking idiiots lapped it up at 4 bucKS a pop if you drew a fucking cutsey face on em

You didn't have to post the same story three times.

My time isn't worthless so I don't use self-checkout

This thread is exactly why I am so resistant to giving politicians money for their fucking bullshit social programs.

You niggers can't even resist stealing a fucking tomato. Think about how much money is stolen and wasted by the shitheads we elect to public office.

>itt we judge society based upon what Veeky Forums denizens do.

wew

I used to have friends that would straight up brag about getting away with shoplifting, and how they'd steal something almost every time they'd head to the store. This wasn't ghetto niggers or white trash either, they straight up middle class suburban adults.

That gif is exactly why I am so resistant to giving birds seeds

>The only thing I used to do consistently was scan organic bananas and regular ones

I honestly did this multiple times before I realized that the organic produce all had a barcode that you were supposed to scan then weigh, but the regular produce was supposed to be keyed in manually and weighed.

At the grocery stores in my area (I have 3), you would be waiting an extra 5-10mins to get someone else to bag for you.

There are never enough fucking cashiers open, and the 3 that are have 9 hamplanets buying $150 worth of 2L sodas

Fuck the one grocery store doesn't even have baggers. The cashier scans your shit and sends it down the line where YOU have to bag it. It's a fucking Giant was well, so it's not like I am shopping at Aldi's or Save-A-Lot or something

Problem is
>Cashier is moving a mile a minute
>Conveyor is small so if you have a full cart lord help you there is going to be 20 things scanned before you even get down there
>The bagging station is set up fucking retardedly, usually you have to peel bags apart and get them open and there is no where to hang them while you fill them
>Once everything is scanned the cashier just stares at you since they can't start someone else's order and aren't allowed to help
>After all this you still have to pay
>Everyone is staring fucking holes through you because their blood sugar is down to the single digits because they haven't had a soda in 5 minutes and they are hungry and Domino's stopped delivering inside the grocery store

Nobody shoplifts because they need to, bored people just get a little tingle in their underwear when they perform any inane naughtiness

If people only shoplifted to save money they would just work to cut out marked up process foods from their diet and try to minimize food waste, which would save more money per month than a lifetime of stuffing bananas down your pants and trying to convince the teenager at the door that you're Ron Jeremy's kid

I enjoyed it.

Use your brain. It wouldn't make sense to have the machines. They replace usually 2 lines, so possibly 2 cashiers and maybe 2 baggers. 2 lines becomes 4-8 machines.

4 people even working full time at a grocery store would be pulling in max $100k together. So the store replaces them with machines that will cost them annually $280k to $560k. PLUS the salary of the person who checks that nobody is stealing.

You've either made up a number of 70k or you confused a single payment of $70k per machine for the yearly maintenance

>label bag as Rice Crackers: 89¢/100g
>mix in cajun snack mix, smoked almonds, shelled pistachios ($1.39+/100g)

That's how you do it. Goddamn pistachios.

>Veeky Forums isn't a part of "society"

>buy chipotles
>label them as smoked jalapenos

>I carry a knife when I go to the store because of shit like this.

Because of black people? Yeah, shit's rough out there, man. Can't walk 10 feet without being asked for a cigarette, a dollar, or both.

No one fucking cares

>Because of black people?

No, because of niggers.

I remember back when I was cashiering at Kroger (like 20 years ago), nothing pissed me off more than those fuckers that would just lean on the check-writing shelf and stare at the price readout as I scanned stuff while there's a line of 4 people behind them and no baggers. It's like "Go bag the fucking groceries!" ... I absolutely understand it's not their job. But there's an etiquette issue there, please it defies logic that they're setting there jerking off when they could be out of the store 3x faster if they went and put some shit in bags. They're wasting everyone's time.

Every since then, I've always bagged my stuff. Even when a bagger was there, I helped. I imagine it's like how servers tend to stack the plates, silverware, and trash on the table after they're done when they dine out themselves. It's a small effort, but it's just a nice thing to do when you're just fucking off making paper cranes out of napkins while waiting for them to run your credit card.

>it defies logic that they're setting there jerking off when they could be out of the store 3x faster if they went and put some shit in bags. They're wasting everyone's time.

This, 100%.

>black
>people

This thread reminds me why I'm glad I got my college degrees and fucked off from working at a grocery store when I was 19. I was a clerk and it was the worst. You people are such miserable shits to deal with, I actually wore down one of my molars from how many times I had to clench my teeth from the absolute asshatery I had to deal with on a daily basis while going to school.
>chimp slams unbagged produce onto my belt after I just rang out someone with leaky meat packages
>have to gather the rolling produce
>know exactly what the fuck they are, but there's a unique PLU for each item
>I'm not memorizing over 500 unique codes for uncommon items
>have to look up PLU in book
>"THEY'RE BELL PEPPERS!"
>chimp actually has poblanos
>either trying to get me to ring cheaper or is a dumb bitch
>probably both
>get hollered at two more times as I explain what I'm doing

I hated the self-checkout kiosks even more because my management expected me to stop the shrink there even though it caused conflict.
>smug students think they're ringing up bulks and produce cheaper than they actually are
>see them typing in wrong code
>"One moment please."
>stop scanner and punch in correct code
>"Okay put stuff on scanner now."
>rings up correct
>most students look at me with contempt
>others decide they suddenly don't want item
>some fucking yell at me and try to win
>nope

Stop being thieving niggers. Or at least go during overnight hours when management goes to bed so they can chalk it up to plain old theft, and not the employees.

I usually try to help, but I deff can't do it all by myself

>Cut barcode off of 12 dollar cup.
>Stick it over 200 dollar Dyson.
>Scan at self check, has the magnet installed so the paddles don't go off.
>Walk out.

You think they think that high?

>being this poor

>Be at Best Buy
>Stealing shit
>Take off security tag
>Place it on random person
>Walk out just after them
>Smile while security has them detained

I loved CD shopping in the 90's

I can't imagine anyone doing all this shit outside of the "rich" and "free" USA. Burgerstanis disgust the rest of the world.

>hundreds of thousands a year
How much do you think retail clerks get paid? My guess is that it takes minimum 5 machines to save $100k, but make that 6 because you have to pay someone to watch for shoplifting like you are ludicrously trying to promote and also to help people who can't figure out the machine, or fix it when it acts up, plus the cost of maintenance in the machines themselves and/or expensive proprietary technicians for repairs. If anything, they are fitting in more registers with less space to reduce the need to expand the building itself while helping to reduce lines at individual registers. As well as a convenient out for the socially inept.

Heh, I once worked at a best buy. One of our favorite pranks was to get one of those stickers on a fellow employee somehow on the day during which we unloaded an incoming truck shipment. The managers would be obsessed with the idea of someone stealing something during the unloading process. The result was that management would practically strip-search anyone who set off the alarm when going home after unloading the truck.

>Be Employee.
>Access to hundreds of soft tags.
>Be Shoplifter hunting.
>Easy to spot the tweakers, ask them the usual shit, theysay they are finding everything fine and ignore me as I slip a tag in their pocket.
>Do this too much and my phone rings.
>Loss Prevention.
>imfired.wav.
>He is laughing like a lunatic.
>"Don't do that again."

I remember that Richard Pryor bit too

too bad black people don't

i've gone to the same grocery store off and on for the last decade and before the self checkout they had 8 check-stands, 99% of the time with only 2 or 3 of them manned. no they have 2 self checkout lines and 5 check-stands, 99% of the time with 2 or 3 of them manned.

the only thing they replaced were dead stands.

Are black market beef sticks really fetching that much?

if there's no bagger then its you're fucking job you whiny faggot

>buy sirloin steak
>scan as bananas
>94p
>leave

I do this too. I buy mostly organic produce and there are a couple of checkers who never look at the stickers and just ring everything up as regular produce. I always get in those lines.

>Be workin.
>Teenage shits are wrecking a display.
>Be in a fucking bad mood as it was, snap.
>Roll for intimidation.
>Nat 20.
>Walk up to them and growl "Get the FUCK out of my store."
>I get several "sorriy"'s as they schuffle out.
>Heel turn in victory to my bosses face.
>"user, did you tell those kids about ducks?"
>'Y-yes...'

>How much do you think retail clerks get paid?

You need to look far beyond the basic salary of a clerk. In the US you would also have to consider:
-the employer's side of the standard payroll deductions (medicare, medicaid, and payroll tax)
-cost of training, HR resources, uniforms, etc.
-cost of any insurance, retirement, or other programs that might be offered
-state and local taxes paid by an employer
-the employer's cost of various things like insurance, unemployment tax classification, etc, that are determined by the number of employees.

...and then you factor in that the machine never fucks up its schedule, doesn't show up to work late or hung over, never takes vacation, doesn't call in sick, and so on.

They are quite obviously cheaper than employees otherwise nobody would use the machines.

And yet here you are wasting time on an American basket weaving image board, writing in our language, and interacting with us instead of your own kind.


You're just another jealous little bitch.

Richard Pryor, Chris Rock...pretty much every black comic ever.

I'm sure you weren't as tough as you thought you were

a lot of clerks are part time which means they do not have anything beyond payroll tax and training (which is usually nothing)

No, but tide sure as fuck is...

Careful I got banned for a month for starting a similar thread

>Forklift is slow as shit.
>Getting sick of this my /diy/ kicks in and I check some things out
>Notice a bolt that blocks the gas petal from going full retard.
>Fix it so it does.
>NowThisIsPodracing.png.
>Nearly tip the fucker over and decide to change the bolt.
>To about half.
>Nobody will be wiser.
>Few days off I see the lift is scratched to shit.
>A newhire was getting training and rolled it on the side and they needed another forklift to rite it.
>Walk way whistling.

HR expenses are always there. I.e. someone has to take the time to do the hiring paperwork with the part-timer, check their timesheets, cut paychecks, etc.

A part-timer would probably not incur any retirement program related costs, but could easily fall under the store's insurance policy. I operate a small business--a machine shop. My state unemployment tax, liability insurance (if an employee hurts themselves at work), and various local taxes are all determined by the "number" of employees I have. It doesn't matter if they are full-time or part time. I have to pay the same extra fees to the various governments when I hire a new employee regardless if they work one hour a week or fifty. In my business the only thing I "save" on a part-time employee vs. full time would be retirement benefits.

But self checkout is often faster if you're only buying a handful of items. If your time is so valuable, you should be willing to do a little work yourself to get yourself out of the store quicker. Unless you had something really productive you were going to be doing while you wait in line.

>aren't allowed to help
What kind of grocery store is this? The cashiers bag as they go at most grocery stores in my area.

*every self aware black comic

>not having to allow a nigger to touch my produce

I donno, two separate cashiers have said something to the effect of "Sorry sir, but we aren't allowed to touch goods after we pass them to the bagging section"

Needless to say I don't go there anymore (Mostly because Giant has become a really awful store and their produce quality has nosedived)

>If they aren't stealing them, they're trying to buy cartfulls for coupon spam to return for cash

Fuck those people.

>black
>people
Pick one

Gian Iggle? Because I've definitely have had a cashier bag my shit there recently. Though that could be because I shop during the hours that only express lanes are open, I suppose.

>get in self checkout line
>baby boomer at the register
>he can't figure out how to do a job meant for teenagers and recovering alcoholics
>states around like like a lost child

Every time. Fuck these people are so pathetic.

...

I shop at giant regularly, and I've never had that issue. What state do you shop in? It might be a local law or something.

PA. Maybe I am getting trikt by lazy cashiers but I never really looked into it because I would much rather shop at Weis/Wegman's so I can have produce that doesn't suck dick

at my store they're supposed to check things that don't have a barcode on.
They never do.
I have ALL of the red onions, garlic, red bell peppers, etc

PA also here, I don't have this problem at Shopright

Reminds me of the time when one of the cashiers didnt even know what broccoli was.

> "Uhh and what is this"
>blank stare
>"broccoli"
> beep


Like... wtf.

wat

The store has a balance scale.

>.and then you factor in that the machine never fucks up its schedule, doesn't show up to work late or hung over, never takes vacation, doesn't call in sick, and so on.

but you also need to maintain the machine, and also account for the fact that customers can be really slow.

human operators can be less troublesome sometimes.

I work at a major chain grocery store and always find a reason to cut up produce to ample it to the customer so I can try some myself. Whenever I find bags of lettuce that we're filled with twice the normal amount due to some technical glitch at the factory I put it off to the side and buy it myself

You don't think someone might notice you walking around with a lump of lead and you dropping your lump of lead on the scale instead of your vodka?

I shop at martins in virginia and there often isn't a bagger at the line, but the cashier bags for me. There used to be a time where every grocery store barring food lion would have a dedicated bagger who would also CART YOUR STUFF out to your car everytime. I fucking miss ukrops.

see

yeah but I'm failing to see how the lead bar helps you

What kind of ghetto ass store are you going to that has people even bothering to check receipts?
At my store I just go shopping at like 2am when there's literally 1 person running the whole fucking store. Not even anyone near the checkout lanes so I can ring shit up as whatever the fuck I want.
I've stolen so much shit. Probably hundreds of dollars worth of meat.

Seriously, if you remove the last human element from super markets, then you are just asking to get stolen from. Now I have to do the fucking job of the cashier myself too, might as well pay myself. With free cookies.